The clock strikes noon and the chiming echoes throughout my office. It’s Sunday, and I’m sitting at my desk. I spent the morning straightening up the house and then moved on to work. It’s my normal routine and is usually enough to keep my mind busy, but today it drifts to Ana.

I want to see her again. Talk to her. Spend time with her. Fuck her. My cock grows hard at the thought, though at the same time panic flashes through me when I realize the implications our relationship can have. If I weren’t being considered as a publisher, I wouldn’t fret as much. I’m not the type of person to let a hot piece of ass get in the way of something I want. Something I’ve wanted for a long time, to be exact.

As much as I try to tell myself that hooking up with Ana was just that—a hookup—I know I’m lying. She was more than a temporary distraction. Being with her felt good physically, for obvious reasons, but being with her felt right. Which is why I’m sitting here, tapping my pen on my desk as I rack my brain for a reason to call her.

I open up the file for her book, thinking maybe I can find something to fix that will require talking to her. I scroll through, reading Lexi’s notes, and find nothing. Lexi already went over this with a fine-toothed comb, and there wasn’t much to fix plot-wise anyway.

I close the laptop and shake my head. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m hoping to find a critical error in this book just so I can talk to Ana. This isn’t me. I’m not a bumbling schoolboy made into a fool by some crush.

Feeling a headache coming on, I get up and leave the office. Fresh air will do me good, will keep me distracted until I have to leave for Paige’s birthday party. I grab my jacket and shoes. They’re still wet from being caught in the rain. Something stirs inside me and I find myself missing Ana.

“Stop,” I say out loud. Nothing good is going to come out of pursuing Ana. She doesn’t even live here. Tossing my damp shoes aside, I pull another pair from the closet and leave the house.

Warmth from the sun pours down on me, filtered through the sparse trees growing in small circles of earth cut out in the sidewalk. Noise from cars and people surround me, blanketing me in the comfort of the fast-paced life the city provides. It’s easy to blend in here. It’s even easier to be alone while surrounded by millions of people. Whether that’s good or bad in the end, I’ve never been sure.

The doors to my favorite cafe are open, welcoming in the warmth from the day. People mill in and out, chatter filling the air, and the decadent smell of coffee is carried on the slight breeze.

I step into line, casually eyeballing the busy cafe. It’s almost impossible to get a seat here on a Sunday afternoon like this, let alone one at the good tables by the window. My eyes drift over there regardless, and I see her.

I blink. Once. Twice. She’s still there. I open my mouth to say something only to shut it. It’s too loud in here to get her attention without gaining the attention of everyone else. I’m frozen for a moment, unable to look away.

Ana’s hair is up in a messy bun on the top of her head. She’s typing away on her laptop, leaning forward toward the screen. She reaches for her cup of coffee, brings it to her lips and realizes it’s empty. I shuffle forward in line the same time she takes out her earbuds and turns around.

Her eyes meet mine and she smiles.

“Cole,” she says and stands, grabbing the empty mug. Walking away from her computer—a trusting habit from living in a small town, I’m sure—and comes over.

“I thought that was you,” I say with a smile, trying to curb my excitement. “What are the chances?”

She’s still smiling. “This was the place you got donuts from. I saw the name on the box. So I assumed since you approve, it has to be good, right?”

“It is good. I come here to work quite often. Looks like you’re working too.”

She nods. “I needed out of the hotel. Not like it’s not nice or anything, because it is. It’s just, uh, a little lonely.”

“I suppose it would be.” We move another step forward and I’m beginning to feel awkward, though it’s not due to Ana. It’s the opposite with her, which is what is making this so fucking weird. It’s easy to talk to her. To relax. To be me.

And it shouldn’t.

“It’s busy in here today.” She looks around. “Or is it always like this?”

“It’s always like this. Weekends are busier. You’re lucky you got a table.”

“I’ve been here a while,” she confesses. “I got a lot written though and am ready for a break. Want to sit with me?”

Yes. I do. I’d love so much to sit down and talk with her. I know I’ll end up laughing and having a good time. But I need to say no. Just one little word. Dammit, I can’t.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Want another cup?” I turn my eyes to her empty mug. “Black, right?”

“Yes, glad you remember.”

“I’ll get it. You can go guard the table,” I say with a smile. “And your computer.”

“Thanks,” she says and goes back to the table. She’s wearing black skinny jeans and a loose-fitting, dark top. Maybe it’s only because I know what’s under that flowing fabric that I think it’s so damn sexy on her.

I get two coffees and join Ana at the little round table. She tells me a bit about the chapters she wrote and then we get to talking about nothing in particular. Before I know it, the remaining coffee in my mug is cold.

“Shit,” I mutter when I check the time.

“What’s wrong?” Ana asks.

“I have to go to my niece’s birthday party. Not that I don’t want to, but I need to leave now or I’ll be late.”

“Oh, the princess party. I heard you’re dressing up,” she laughs.

“Sadly, I don’t have a costume. Who told you that?”

“I talked to Lexi yesterday.”

Cold panic flashes through me. Again. “You talked to Lexi? What did you say to her?”

Taken aback by my confrontation, Ana’s eyebrows come together ever so slightly. Fuck. Ana and Lexi aren’t close. They’ve never even met. Lexi has no better relationship with her than she does with any other author she’s worked with. Ana isn’t going to tell Lexi about our hookup. And if she did, Lexi wouldn’t go on and tattle on me. She wouldn’t tattle on anyone.

“Nothing in particular. Paige called me, actually. Not on purpose, I think. I was hoping to meet up with Lexi but I don’t think that’s going to happen. I was looking forward to it,” she admits. “She seems great.”

“She is,” I agree. “As far as working with a family member goes, I got lucky.”

“Did you introduce her to your brother?”

“No, and how they met is a funny story,” I start. “She didn’t know he was my brother. They met at a bar and—” I suddenly cut off, not sure how to put the rest of the story. When I realized the guy Lexi was dating was my brother, I turned into a version of myself I still hate.

Hell-bent on revenge, I didn’t tell Lexi or Luke I knew what was going on. I don’t even like thinking about the shitty schemes I pulled, though my brain likes to journey back there from time to time no matter how hard I try to avoid it. And now I think it’s a big mistake letting myself get closer to Ana. She deserves much better than me.

And right now, she is looking at me, waiting for me to continue. “And, uh, their one-night stand turned into something more. And it was weeks later when we realized how we were all connected.”

“Talk about a small world, right?”

“Yeah. It’s crazy, that’s for sure.”

“I’ll let you go. Don’t want to keep Princess Paige waiting.”

“Want to come with me?” I blurt, still feeling like I came off too strong when questioning her about Lexi. “There will be a handful of people from Black Ink there, and Quinn Harlow is coming.” God, I’m an idiot. Why can’t I just shut the fuck up? What is it about this woman that’s making me turn into a bumbling fool?

“Quinn Harlow? The author?”

“Yeah. She and Lexi are really good friends.”

“I’m obsessed with her. Don’t tell her that though.”

I chuckle. “Lexi did tell me she recommended your book to Quinn. If she has time, she’s going to read it and give you an endorsement blurb.”

Ana’s face lights up for a few seconds before she shakes her head. “Don’t wanna get too ahead of myself. I’d love to meet Quinn and Lexi, but I feel bad crashing a kid’s birthday party.”

“Lexi won’t mind. She wants to meet you too. I’ll text her and ask, if that makes you feel better.” I pull out my phone and type a quick message to Lexi. She replies right away. “See?” I hold out the phone for Ana. “She’d be ecstatic if you came.”

Ana’s eyes meet mine and she smiles again. “Since it’s a princess party, can I wear a crown?”

* * *

“Your nieces are adorable,” Ana whispers, sitting next to me at the kitchen table, digging into our overloaded plates. The food looks and smells delicious, and since I’m eating it, this is one of those times I’m happy Luke is a damn fine cook.

“They are, aren’t they? They’re good girls.”

“They seem like it. Very well behaved.”

I think back to the shitstorm that went down the last time I watched them. Harper can’t really be blamed though. She’s still too little to know what she’s doing is wrong. “They really are. Harper’s a little monster though. She climbs on everything. Takes after her father, that’s for sure.”

“She looks the most like him. Her eyes are gorgeous.”

I repress a grunt. Everyone and their mother compliment Luke’s blue eyes. “She’s the only one that’s his,” I say quietly. “The other two are his stepchildren.”

“Oh, I had no idea. They all fit so perfectly together, and all three girls look like mini versions of Lexi.”

“They do. Grace looks more and more like her as she gets older.”

Ana smiles, looking over the table at the kids playing. Grace and her cousin Taylor are sitting on the couch, hunched over a phone. Paige is playing with a few of her friends and Harper is running around knocking things over.

“It kinda makes me want one,” Ana says.

“Want what?” Jillian asks as she and Quinn join us.

“A kid. Kind of. Harper is so freaking cute.” At that moment, Harper grabs a cup full of lemonade from the coffee table and sloshes half of it on the floor before Lexi grabs her. “And a bit of a monster, like you said.”

We make small talk as we eat, and when Quinn asks Ana about her book, I get up, taking the empty paper plates from the table and putting them in the garbage in the kitchen.

Luke is there, pouring drinks for himself and Lexi. They’re both dressed up for the party. Lexi is Rapunzel and Luke is Flynn Rider. I’ve seen Tangled enough while watching the girls to recognize the costumes.

I have to hand it to my brother for being a good stepdad. He loves those two girls as much as he loves Harper. There is no difference in his eyes. Our own stepdad was the best we could ask for, and I know he made an impression on Luke. Being the older brother, it never quite felt right to let Edward in the way Luke did. I call him Ed instead of Dad, as I have for years and as of late, I’ve grown to regret it. It’s too late to change it now.

Luke fills Lexi’s glass with wine and eyeballs me before turning his gaze to Ana. “You’re fucking her, aren’t you?”

The dirty plates almost fall from my grasp. “N-no.”

Luke raises an eyebrow. “Lying has never been your strong suit, you know. It’s obvious.”

“How obvious?”

He takes a drink of beer, knowing the anticipation is killing me. Fucking younger brothers. “Well, not that obvious.” He draws out each word. “But I know you, and I know you’re not usually this relaxed. You’re drinking beer. You let Paige put a plastic crown on you. You’re talking to Lexi’s sister who I know you can’t stand because she’s into all that new age shit. And you touched Ana’s hair. Twice. Then she put her hand on your thigh. Three times.”

At a loss for words, I stand there and blink. “Why are you so weirdly observant?”

Luke snickers. “So, it’s true?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m, uh, sleeping with anyone.”

“Why else would you bring her?”

“She wanted to meet Quinn and Lex—”

“Right.” Luke gives me a tight smile before clapping me on the back. “Congrats. I’ll save some cake and we can celebrate later. It’s been so long you’re bound to forget. You did remember where to put it, right? Do you need tips? Advice? Lexi loves when I—”

“No.”

“I don’t mind sharing my moves. It drives Lexi crazy when I—”

“No tips. I’m fine.”

“You sure? The last thing you want is mediocre sex. Unless she’s your bad pancake.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask.

Luke lets out a breath. “And Lexi says I’m not current enough in pop culture. Basically, it’s universally known that the first attempt isn’t the best. A failure to deliver the first time after a dry spell is understandable. Though what you went through surpassed dry spell and bordered on re-virgining.”

“That’s not a real thing, and it was fine.”

“Fine?” He makes a face. “Fine is not good.”

I shake my head. “It was a hell of a lot better than fine. And I delivered. More than once.”

Luke smirks at getting a rise out of me. Dammit. I don’t realize he’s doing this shit on purpose until after he’s done it. It’s always been that way with him. “So, it really is like riding a bike, eh? The old if you don’t use it, you lose it adage isn’t true then?” He flicks his gaze down. “The little guy still works?”

“It’s not lit—” Dammit, he’s doing it again. “Don’t tell Lexi.”

Luke raises his eyebrow. “Why would it matter?”

“Ana and I…she’s…we work together.”

“Fuck, man! You’re taking a bite of forbidden fruit. Nice.”

I glare at Luke.

“So, what is it?”

“What is what?” I ask, ready to walk away. I’m the oldest. Shouldn’t I be the one doing the heckling?

“Do you like her? More than a you’re good enough to fuck kind of way, of course.”

His question hits me right in the chest. It’s something I didn’t let myself think about too deeply because the answer scares me. Admitting I have feelings for Ana will make it that much harder to not feel them. But, dammit, I do. I do like Ana. And the fact that she’s leaving, that she’s going back to that small town in Kentucky, kills me.

“Yes.” The word leaves my mouth and it’s like a weight has been lifted, only to be immediately replaced with a suffocating blanket of anxiety.

“Does she know that?”

“It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t live here and we shouldn’t mess around. It’s not professional.”

“You’re not always going to be her editor, right? Lexi told me the plan was to switch back once her schedule cleared.”

My jaw tenses. That was the plan I told Lexi, with the hope that I would have Caitlin’s job, which frees me from—fuck. It’s even worse for a publisher to be sleeping with an author. The thought of accusations about an unfair advantage suffocate me. I don’t want to jeopardize Ana’s chances of getting another deal from the press. I’m never getting that promotion if Caitlin sees me with Ana.

“What?” Luke asks, tipping his head to the side just a bit as if he’s studying me. With his jokes aside, the caring part of Luke comes out. Knowing he and Lexi want me to be happy, enough to try and set me up with someone—no matter how annoying that is—brings on another wave of guilt.

The news of the possible promotion is on the tip of my tongue. I swallow my words at the last second, knowing Luke will give me hell and say I’m choosing money over love.

Neither are guaranteed, though I feel like it’s much more likely I get that fucking promotion than finding a happily ever after. I still don’t think they exist. “I just don’t see it working out. She leaves tomorrow soon after a business meeting with the marketing department.”

“You’re just going to let her go like that?”

“I guess so.” I shove my emotions to the side. It doesn’t matter that the thought of Ana leaving makes me miss her already, even though she’s just yards away. I shouldn’t have slept with her. Shouldn’t have kissed her. Shouldn’t have joined her for drinks Friday night.

“If you want to skip out early so you can bang her again before she leaves, I won’t blame you. Lord knows when you’ll get laid again.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Speaking of ass…” Luke starts but stops when Lexi comes over, carrying empty plastic cups. She tosses them in the recycling and joins us, taking her wine from Luke.

“What about ass?” she asks.

He sets his beer down and slips an arm around her. She looks up at him, smiling. I’d give anything to have someone look at me that way, and Luke’s words echo in my mind. I’m not letting Ana walk away. She’s not mine. I have no idea if she feels anything remotely the same as I do.

“I was telling Cole how you’re into ass-play now.”

Lexi’s green eyes go as wide as saucers. “Luke! Why would you tell him that? I’m not really. It was a bribe. Get a vasectomy and I’ll let you come in the back door once a week.”

Luke laughs and wraps his other arm around her. “I’m joking. I didn’t bring that up. But now he knows.”

“Oh.” Lexi rests her head against his chest. “Sorry for the TMI, Cole.”

“You know, I’m starting to get used to it. And a vasectomy?”

Luke shakes his head. “I want one more baby.”

“What if we get a boy?” Lexi asks him.

Luke still has his arms tightly wrapped around Lexi. “Then we get a boy. You’ll be a great mom no matter what.”

“I love you.” She stands on her toes to kiss him.

Jillian, another editor from Black Ink Press, comes over to refill her wine glass. “You two make me sick.”

“I was waiting for you to come over,” Lexi teases and kisses Luke again. “I know how much you love PDA.”

Jillian rolls her eyes and looks at me. “We deserve an award for putting up with these two.”

“You’re telling me,” I say and turn to walk away.

“Have fun tonight,” Luke quips. I hear Lexi ask him what he’s talking about as I walk back to Ana. As soon as I sit down, the doorbell rings and Lexi hurries off to answer it. Expecting it to be another party guest, I don’t think anything of it.

Until I hear the yelling.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lexi’s voice carries through the house. “Leave. You’re not invited.”

“It’s my weekend and my daughter’s birthday. I want to see my kids!” an angry male yells.

“We went over this already. With the judge. We split the birthday weekend in half. You had the girls yesterday. I get them today.”

“But today is Paige’s real birthday.”

“That doesn’t matter! We already went over this!”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Luke mutters under his breath. His face tenses and he balls his fists. With quick steps, he rushes to the front door. Shit. I know exactly who’s at the door. Lexi’s mom turns up the volume on the music that’s playing and tries to keep the kids distracted. It almost drowns out Luke’s angry voice.

Almost.

I stand and edge toward the door.

“What’s going on?” Ana asks, moving away from the table.

“Russell, Lexi’s ex-husband, showed up for some reason,” Jillian explains. She and Quinn shake their heads. “The guy is a huge asshole. I don’t know how Luke hasn’t beaten him up yet.”

“He would,” Lexi’s sister, Kara, says. “In a heartbeat. And he’d enjoy every second of it. But Russ has been trying to get custody, and if Luke so much as touches him, they can use that against Lexi in court.”

“Fuck,” Quinn mutters. The music is blaring in the background and the kids are none the wiser to what’s going on, yet it feels like everything has stopped and the whole party is holding its breath.

Harper toddles away from the others and runs through the living room chanting “da-da-da-da” over and over. I make a dash for her, scooping her up before she can run to her parents.

“Every time I see that thing she looks more and more like him. Poor kid is so fucking ugly,” Russell sneers and Luke loses it. All hell breaks loose in just seconds, and I hand Harper to Ana and race forward, pulling Luke back before he can do too much damage.

“That’s my daughter!” Luke yells, pinning Russell up against the wall, neck of his shirt balled up in one hand and the other raised, ready to smash down on Russ’s face. “No one talks shit about my family.”

“It’s not worth it!” I tell him, and grab Luke’s wrist. “The guy’s a loser. Don’t let him get the better of you.”

A string of obscenities leaves Luke’s mouth as he curses and threatens Russell. Lexi’s brother-in-law pushes Russell back, and Lexi moves over to Luke, begging him to stop and not risk anything. Harper is crying in the background and Russell is trying to push past Kara’s husband and get to Luke.

I wasn’t close to Lexi when she went through the divorce, but I saw how hard it was on her. I know the shit her ex pulled during the whole thing, and have learned how awful he treated her during their marriage. They’ve been divorced for years now and he still goes out of his way to bring Lexi down. The guy is a real piece of shit. Petty as fuck. And I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with Lexi in a fucked-up sense and can’t handle her moving on with her life.

I’d love to step back and watch Luke pummel him. But I can’t let my brother jeopardize his family.

He can’t hit Russell. But I can.

With one hard shove, I move Luke out of the way, step forward, and ball my fist. Lexi goes to Luke’s side right as I raise my arm.

“Don’t you ever insult my niece again,” I threaten, lips pulling back in a sneer. My fist makes contact with Russell’s face and the distinct sound of flesh-on-flesh echoes through the foyer. Russell staggers back, hands flying to his face. I shake my hand, feeling a tingle in my fingers. Besides the scuffs I’ve had with Luke over the years, I’ve never been in a fight. I’m not that kind of guy. But this…this felt exhilarating.

Lexi slams the door and turns around, shaking and with tears in her eyes. Luke goes to her, wrapping her in an embrace. She buries her head in his shoulder and softly cries.

“He ruined everything,” she sobs. “And called Harper ugly.”

“No, nothing is ruined. The girls didn’t even know he was here. We both know Harper is the cutest fucking baby on the planet.” Luke runs his hand over her hair, trying to soothe her. He looks over her shoulder and meets my eyes. “Thanks,” he says slowly, voice heavy with emotion.

“No problem,” I reply quietly. “Maybe we should open presents? Keep everyone distracted.”

“Yeah,” Kara, Lexi’s sister, agrees, standing in the threshold of the foyer. She takes a look behind her at the kids. I follow her eyes, seeing Taylor and Grace still sitting together on the couch. They’re out of a direct line of sight but aren’t so far they didn’t hear the exchange.

“Good idea,” Luke agrees. He cups his hands around Lexi’s face and kisses her before wiping away her tears. “I love you. You’re a great mom and you put together a great party for Paige. The girls and I are lucky to have you. Let’s enjoy it.” Then he kisses her, deep enough to make me look away.

“Yep,” Jillian quips. “I hate them.”

“I’m right there with you,” Quinn agrees. “Talk about couple goals.”

Luke and Lexi separate and everyone scatters, not wanting it to be obvious Russell did indeed interrupt the party. Lexi’s family and friends surround her, offering support and hypothetical threats against Russell.

Lexi’s dad goes over to Luke, putting his hand on Luke’s shoulders. Her parents love him and welcomed him into their family with open arms. I wrestle internally with jealousy. It’s not that I want to be the only one with a wife, kids, and in-laws that can’t get enough of me. Nothing should be taken away from Luke, but can’t a little be given to me?

I’m such an asshole, I know. My life might be unfulfilling. I might be lonely. But I’m alive. I need to be grateful for that.

Lexi takes Harper from Ana, kissing her baby’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” she tells Ana. “I bet you’re glad you switched editors now.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ana reassures her. “We all have a crazy ex.”

I can’t help but laugh, thinking of my own batshit crazy ex-fiancée. “I think most of us do.”

Lexi puts on a smile and goes into the living room, calling the kids around so Paige can open her presents.

“How’s your hand?” Ana asks me, slipping her fingers around my wrist and pulling my hand up to her face. “You’re bleeding.”

“I didn’t notice.”

She picks up her napkin and gently blots at the blood from the torn skin on my knuckles. “Lexi and Luke are lucky to have you.”

I smile because I can’t say anything otherwise. She’s looking at me like I’m the hero of this story. I stepped in, armor shining under the high-noon sky, and slayed the dragon, rescuing the villagers.

No one has ever looked at me like that. It’s something I’ve always wanted, something I’ve longed for. But right now, seeing the gleam in Ana’s eyes as she gazes at me, I’ve never felt more like a fucking fraud.