I rub my temples, cursing the headache that’s coming on. It’s not even nine fucking AM yet and the day already turned into a shitstorm. It started with Caitlin Black being, well Caitlin Black. I got the feeling she’s regretting retiring from publishing. But not because she’ll miss the business or the books. She’ll miss being able to boss people around and being a total dick.

Case in point with her emailing me, complaining about the lack of changes I made to Diana’s book. I used to think she didn’t understand how the publishing process worked, but now I know she’s just being an ass. The three bottles of wine Ana and I drank last night aren’t helping either.

I lean back in my chair, looking at the time once again, and smile when the image of Ana’s pretty face crosses my mind. A weird fluttering feeling spreads across my chest, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think I was having a heart attack.

The truth might be worse.

Because the truth is, I’m starting to really feel for Ana. There’s so much more to her than she lets on, and I can tell she’s trying hard to cover up her broken heart. I don’t know what happened to her, and I don’t understand how anyone would be capable of hurting such a beautiful soul.

It’s getting exhausting keeping my feelings on the surface, never diving deeper or getting to know her on a grander level. But I can’t. For her sake, I can’t. Because if there’s the slightest chance she likes me the same way, I need to stop it before it starts.

I’m no good for her.

I’m no good for anyone.

Ana deserves better than me. I’m not the guy she needs who can mend her broken heart and torn spirit. I’ll only hurt her more in the end because that’s what I do.

Disappoint people and cause pain.

I will never be the hero.

* * *

“Mr. Winchester?” Erica calls through the intercom. “Your brother is here to see you.”

It’s ten till eleven and I was really hoping Ana would get here soon. I miss her, and truth be told I wanted a quickie in my office. Though that can’t happen. Not now. Not ever. I’ll never get promoted if I’m caught with my pants down. Literally caught with them around my ankles as I drive my cock into Ana’s sweet pussy.

“Send him in,” I tell her, and save the edits I was reading through. Assuming Lexi is with him, it throws me to see him walk into the office alone. “Hey,” I say. “Where’s Lexi?”

“You really can’t stand a minute alone with me, can you?”

I let out a breath. It seems Luke is going to be in annoying-as-fuck-little-brother mode today. I’m actually not sure he has any other modes to him.

“It’s pretty painful, to be honest,” I shoot back, making Luke grin.

“Lexi’s showing off Harper to people in the office. The doll hospital wasn’t busy today so we got here early. It’s weird, getting places early with Lexi.”

I chuckle. “When her last review came up, I said she always arrives on time.”

Luke laughs. “Better hope they don’t catch you in that lie. Is Ana here?”

“No, she’s coming later. I leave the house pretty early and—” Fuck. I just gave myself away. Luke already knows I’m sleeping with Ana, but dammit.

He raises an eyebrow. “She’s at your house?”

“Yeah. The hotel accidentally checked her out and it was easier than getting another room.”

“Sure it was.” He’s still grinning. “This is good, bro.”

“Don’t call me bro. And it’s nothing.”

“She’s nothing?”

“Of course not, but it’s…it’s…fuck. I don’t know.”

Luke takes a seat on the leather chair across from my desk. “You already admitted you like her. Please tell me you’ve told her.”

“I’m sure she knows.”

Luke shakes his head and sighs. “Why not just say it? Not telling the whole story from the start caused a hell of a lot of discord between Lexi and me, if you don’t remember. Just tell her how you feel.”

“It’s not that easy,” I mumble. Luke doesn’t get it. Things come easily for him. Always have, always will. He’s outgoing and able to talk to anyone with ease. That’s something I’ve had to learn in order to further my career. Besides, I don’t have to say it. Luke already knows.

Ana deserves much better than me.

“It could be. Pull your balls out of your man-gina and say it. Unless you’re enjoying the no-strings sex. That never ends well, by the way. It either fizzles out or you end up married with two stepchildren and a kid.”

“We can’t all be so lucky,” I say dryly.

“I am lucky,” Luke says slowly. “It’s not like I don’t know that. But not everything is left to chance or luck, you know.”

I nod, thinking back to that shiny quarter Ana tossed into the air that night that changed everything. I still have it, safely stowed away in my desk drawer.

“Hey, guys,” Lexi calls from the doorway. Harper toddles in, a big smile on her little face. She stretches out her arms for Luke, who scoops her up with a kiss. Ana is at Lexi’s side, and all talk about telling anyone how I feel is dead and gone. “Whatcha talking about?”

“You.” Holding Harper, Luke goes over to Lexi. “And how lucky I am to have you.”

“Really?” she asks.

“Really,” I tell her and shake my head. “I don’t know what you did to him, but he’s a changed man, Lexi. And you’ve gone over three years of marriage without killing him. You deserve an award. Or a statue in Times Square.”

“I do,” she agrees as Luke takes her hand.

“Seriously?” Jillian quips as she walks by my office. “I’m a newlywed and I don’t get as much action as the two of you lame parents get. Stop making me feel bad about my relationship.”

Everyone laughs and then I notice Ana standing there, hands clasped on her elbow, watching Luke and Lexi with a bit of sadness in her eyes. I want so fucking bad to go to her, pull her to me and kiss her as hard as I can, not caring who sees because I can’t get enough of her either.

Instead, I stand behind my desk, swallowing the yearning I feel inside. I shouldn’t have gotten her into this mess. I shouldn’t have introduced her to my poison.

“I’m starving,” Lexi says, taking a step back from Luke. “You guys ready to head out? I called and got us a table at Mickey’s. I used your name, Cole.” She turns to Ana, telling her about the little pizza parlor that’s become a favorite amongst us at Black Ink. It’s small and hard to get a reservation at but has the best pizza in the city. And it’s within walking distance. Luke and Lexi pass Harper back and forth as we walk, trying to keep her entertained. All she wants to do is walk on her own, which surprisingly causes a hell of a lot of anxiety for me. She’s my niece, and the thought of her dashing onto the busy street makes me sweat.

“Mom’s feeling so guilty she missed Paige’s party,” Luke says as we sit down at the restaurant. “I told her to come out for the weekend.”

“You’re hilarious,” I say sarcastically and then turn to Ana. “Our mom and stepdad live in Orlando. Whenever they come out, they stay with me. I love my mom but having her stay with me…you’d understand if you met her.”

“I love your mom!” Lexi exclaims, unable to keep from laughing. “But she’s very involved. And a little nosey. The last time she was here she kept hinting that she’d take the girls so Luke and I could have ‘alone time’ and make another baby.”

Ana laughs. “Nothing is sexier than having your mother-in-law manage your sex life.”

“I know, right? Totally sets the mood. She even promised to call first before they came home so she wouldn’t interrupt anything.”

Everyone laughs and I shake my head. “She means well, but she’s a lot to take. Mom’s great in small doses.”

“We did not take her up on that offer,” Lexi tells us. “In case you were wondering. We managed fine the first time.” She looks down at Harper and smiles. “You leave tonight, right?” Lexi asks Ana.

Ana looks at me for half a second and then smiles. “Yeah. I’m meeting with Melissa after lunch to go over marketing stuff then I’m free to go.”

“Did you enjoy the city?”

“I really did! I’m going to miss it.”

Luke is making a face at me, and I kick him under the table.

“There are events and parties Black Ink puts on,” Lexi says. “You could come back for that. The Halloween party is my favorite. I like wearing costumes.”

“That would be fun,” Ana says and looks at me again. “Do you go to those?”

“Yeah, but I don’t usually wear a costume.”

Luke takes Harper from Lexi, trying to keep her busy. The kid is getting bored just sitting here. “Is the ninth floor still empty?” he asks Lexi, raising his eyebrows.

Lexi gives him a what-the-hell look and shakes her head.

“What’s on the ninth floor?” Ana asks.

“Nothing,” Lexi hisses, glaring at Luke.

“The ninth floor in our building?” I ask. “Some new business just opened up offices there.”

“Damn,” Luke says, shaking his head. “It was a quiet, secluded spot.” He raises his eyebrows and looks at me. It hits me what he’s implying. Ana is leaving and he knows she and I are hooking up. I shake my head and mirror Lexi’s glare, even though the thought of fucking in the office turns me on. And then I realize that he only knows it’s a nice secluded spot from personal experience.

“Really?” I look from him to Lexi. “At work?”

“Technically, she was off the clock.”

“Luke!” Lexi exclaims.

Luke laughs. “We think Harper was conceived there.”

Lexi puts her hand over her face and shakes her head. “Oh my God. You seriously did not just say that. Though it doesn’t surprise me.” She drops her hand and looks at Ana. “He told everyone at Thanksgiving we try out all the sex scenes I edit. We don’t.”

“Not all of them,” Luke says with a laugh. “But a lot. Gotta make sure those scenes are realistic, right?”

“I’m glad Harper has no idea what we’re talking about.” Lexi gives Harper a sippy cup from her bag and gives Luke another glare. But behind her anger is humor and even more affection for my brother. “Poor kid would be traumatized.”

Ana laughs. “My grandma would bust out her Bible if we talked like that around the dinner table. Especially on Thanksgiving. She’s never allowed to look inside my books. Or at the cover. Or know I write romance. Her memory is a bit iffy these days so she might not remember who my pen name is anyway. Thankfully, I should say. That’s a horrible thing to be thankful for, isn’t it?”

The conversation flows between the four of us, so natural it almost seems odd. I’ve had a practical reason to be around Luke over the last few years, like when he came with me to help me pick out a present for Paige. I got him signed books to give to Lexi for Christmas, and we both picked out a Mother’s Day present to send to our mom. I’ve been to their house on all the special occasions, and they’ve invited me over for dinner at least once a month since Harper was born. I go, but it’s so the girls can get to know me.

I’ve never just hung out with Luke like this. Never even thought about a double date together.

It’s kinda nice.

“So, what’s this Halloween party?” Ana asks. “I love creepy things.”

“Not me,” Lexi says. “I get scared so easily.”

“Then you probably hate the story about the deranged doctor doing surgery in the basement, right?” As soon as she says it, Ana realizes that knowing the history of my house could give us away. Lexi doesn’t seem to notice.

“Is this a new book?”

“Our grandparents’ house,” Luke starts, “was owned by a doctor who did experiments on homeless people. In the basement.”

“You never told me that!”

Luke laughs. “It never really came up, I guess. It’s not something I talk about that often.”

“But I slept over there! Oh, my God. I told you I heard footsteps. I knew that house was haunted.”

Now I’m laughing. “It’s not haunted. I’d know if it was.”

“And ghosts aren’t real,” Luke tells Lexi.

“I think they are,” Ana chimes in. “I’ve seen some freaky shit.”

“See!” Lexi holds out her hand. “I think they are too. And I’m pretty sure my old house was either haunted or cursed. Paige used to have horrible nightmares and would wake up saying a man was in her doorway. As soon as we moved, the nightmares stopped.”

“Sounds like a ghost to me, and that’s really freaky,” Ana agrees and looks at me. “Do you believe in ghosts?”

“I want to, but I’ve never seen anything to make me think so. Though I have to agree the whole man in the doorway thing is creepy. And why else would the nightmares stop?”

Luke shrugs. “Kids go through phases. Night terrors are normal.”

That sparks a debate about the afterlife. It’s civil. Interesting. Fun. And very fucking weird. Though as strange as it is to feel like I’m on a successful double date with Luke and Lexi, the fact that Ana is leaving in just a few hours weighs heavily on my mind. I look over at her and feel that fluttering deep inside again.

Is there any use denying it to myself?

I suppose it doesn’t matter. She’s leaving, will be back to her life, and safely away from me. I know she’s been hurt before, and given my track record, it’s only a matter of time before I hurt or disappoint her.

Ana is a rare and beautiful person. Inside and out. It would be a damn shame if I fucked that up.