“Do you mind?” Ana asks, reaching for the radio dial. We just got in the car and are on our way to Luke and Lexi’s house.

“No, not at all.”

Ana flips through the satellite stations, stopping on a country music station.

“Really?” I ask with a laugh. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, right?”

Ana laughs. “What’s wrong with country music? And yeah…most of our local stations are country. Only one is strong enough to even come in when I’m in the barn, which is where I spent a lot of time as a child. I can change it if you hate it that much, though. I usually alternate between country and the 90s channel.”

I take my eyes off the road to look into her eyes for a second. “You’re serious?”

“Yeah,” she admits and looks a little embarrassed. “It’s a little weird, I guess.”

“It is, and that’s what I listen to, too. I go between that and podcasts. The 90s channel is number one in my saved stations.”

Ana smiles, and she’s so fucking beautiful when she’s smiling. “I’m starting to think you’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

I reach over and take her hand, smiling as well. “No pressure or anything, right?”

“Oh, I’m definitely putting tons and tons of pressure on you. I’m thinking of doing a performance review at the end of the week too.”

“Should I pull the car over and earn bonus points?”

Ana takes my hand and pushes it down in her lap, slowly widening her legs. “Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Winchester?”

“Is it working?” I inch up the hem of her black dress until I can feel her warm flesh. Soft and tender against my fingertips, it’s enough to get me hard right now.

Fuck.

“It just might be.”

I give her thigh a squeeze and flatten my palm against her skin before taking my hand back and gripping the steering wheel as tightly as I can.

“If I keep touching you, I might run us off the road.”

“I don’t feel like dying today, so…” She brings one leg up, pulling her dress up with it, exposing her leg.

“You’re killing me, Ana.”

She bites her lip and drops her gaze to my lap. “I can tell. Maybe we can sneak away after dinner. Because I really want you right now.”

God, this woman is hot. And she’s mine.

* * *

“Uncle Cole!” Paige exclaims when I step into the house. Lexi holds her dog back, who’s trying everything he can to break free and run to me. The dog loves everyone and thinks everyone loves him just as much. “Come look what I set up!” She takes my hand and drags me forward before I have a chance to take my shoes off.

Harper toddles around the corner and gets knocked over by the dog, who Lexi just let go of. Pluto runs to Ana, sniffing her curiously and wagging his tail. Harper cries, and Lexi almost trips over Pluto to pick the one-and-a-half-year-old up. As soon as Harper’s on her feet again, Pluto takes off the other direction after a calico cat and knocks her over again. She goes down hard this time, head hitting the tile floor beneath her. Lexi scoops up Harper, concern on her face, and checks her baby’s head.

It’s instant chaos.

There was a time when this would frustrate me just as fast, but now I kind of like it. Not the part where Harper got hurt, of course, but the hustle of bustle of a house filled with life. This is the first time the noise felt welcome, and I’m sure it has to do with Ana standing behind me.

This is the first time I’ve walked into this house and not been alone.

“Welcome,” Lexi says, cradling Harper to her chest. The little girl clings to Lexi, pressing her face into Lexi’s neck. “How was the drive?”

“It was fine,” I say, kicking off my shoes. Paige is still tugging on my hand, eager to show me whatever she set up.

“Paige, honey,” Lexi says, raising her eyebrows, giving Paige the subtle mom-look that says she’s serious. “Remember what we talked about? Take a deep breath and calm down. Let Uncle Cole get in the house first, okay?”

Paige drops my hand and inhales deeply before huffing it out. “Okay.”

“She just gets so excited about things,” Lexi whispers to us. “Anyway…it’s great to see you again, Ana.”

“You too. And thanks for having us over,” Ana says. We move into the kitchen. Luke is bent over the table, helping Grace with her homework. Dinner is in the oven behind him and smells a-fucking-mazing. Our grandfather was a chef and owned his own restaurant until he retired and sold the place. He was an incredible cook and when Luke was younger, he and our grandpa spent a lot of time together in the kitchen. I thought it was lame then, and wouldn’t want word getting out that teenage-me took cooking lessons.

But Luke never cared what people thought, and now he’s a good fucking cook, having learned it all from our grandpa. I regret not spending time with my grandparents because I thought it wasn’t cool. They aged quickly and now I’d do anything to take it back. Family is everything to me now, and the desire to have my own—to help my own son or daughter with homework while cooking a sit-down meal to have together—burns inside.

But instead of hurting, it’s warming my chest. Because for the first time, I feel like things might work out. That I might get this too: a family.

My family.

“Hey,” Luke says, looking up from a textbook. He gives Grace a pat on the back and tells her she can take a break. She gets up and goes to Lexi and Ana. Paige drops my hand and follows her sister, saying she wants to show Ana the new shelves Luke just put up in her room. They all go upstairs.

“Thanks for coming over,” Luke says and checks on the food. “Sundays are hectic. The girls just got back from their dad’s and of course didn’t do a single fucking minute of homework over the weekend. We’ll be lucky to get it done before bedtime.”

Shit. I forgot about that. Grace and Paige spend every other weekend with their biological father, who’s a fucking asshole. I distantly wonder if reminding Ana that Lexi has a crazy ex too would make her feel better or not.

“No problem,” I tell Luke, feeling bad now for getting annoyed with him asking us to come over. Not only do they have to pack up a bag full of stuff for Harper, they have to deal with the older girls coming home and then homework. I know from hearing others in the office talk that kids are assigned a shit-load of homework nowadays. “I can help with homework.”

Luke closes the oven and turns to me. “What?” he asks, though I know he heard me.

“I’ll help,” I offer again.

“How’s your geography skills? I don’t remember all the states let alone their capitals.”

I laugh. “They don’t teach the song anymore?”

“There’s a song about the states?”

“Yeah, but I’m not singing it now.”

Luke chuckles and pushes his messy hair back out of his eyes. He’s wearing a button-up shirt over a Chicago Cubs tee. The sleeves are rolled up, showing off the tattoos covering his arms. The casual I-just-rolled-out-of-bed look works for Luke, which fits his personality. We’re polar opposites.

Luke looks across the room at Ana, and then back at me. “How are things?”

“Good,” I tell him, unable to keep the glimmer out of my eyes.

“You told her, then, right?” He lowers his voice. “You told her you like her more than a fuck buddy?”

“Yes. She’s my girlfriend now.”

“It’s about fucking time. You won’t be a dick anymore, right?”

“Fuck you.”

Luke raises his eyebrows. “I think you’d rather fuck her.”

“I would. And I will.”

“Really, man, it’s great. Lexi and I like Ana. And I know our approval is necessary for your happiness.”

He’s joking, but it’s honestly a fucking bonus to have a girlfriend who gets along with Luke and Lexi. Ana went upstairs with Lexi and the girls, leaving me alone with my brother.

Though it’s not as awkward as it usually was.

“How your tattoo?” Luke asks, opening the fridge and pulling out a salad.

“Looks great, though it’s starting to itch like mad.”

“That’s normal. It’ll peel next. Don’t pick at it.”

I make a face. “I won’t, don’t worry.”

“You’re such a nerd for getting a Harry Potter tattoo.”

I look down at my shoulder, though I can’t see the ink through my shirt. I got the Deathly Hallows symbol tattooed on my bicep, but it might have been more fitting to get the Dark Mark. “You’re an even bigger nerd for not having one. Though don’t act like you don’t like it. I know Lexi made you watch the movies and read the books.”

“It’s a good series. The girls really like them.”

“Need help with anything?”

“You can set the table. We’ll eat in here and not the dining room. Lexi cleaned this morning so I want to keep it clean. She’s not feeling very well and I don’t want her to have to clean again.”

“You could clean after dinner.” The words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about it. It’s something normal to hassle Luke about, but I still feel like I’m just an inch away from being exiled. Again.

“I work tonight,” he says in a level tone. “I need to get a few hours of sleep before I go in.”

“Oh, right. Lexi’s sick?”

“She’s tired. Been staying up late working,” he rushes out. “Have you talked to Mom lately?”

“No, why?”

“She wants to come out for Halloween.”

I raise an eyebrow. “That’s not usually a holiday worth traveling for, unless I’m missing something.”

“You are, but that’s another problem in itself. She wants to go Trick-or-Treating with the girls.”

“I didn’t even think of that.”

Luke shrugs. “I wouldn’t have either until I had kids. So that means Mom and Dad are coming out in October, November, and then December. Are you ready for that?”

“They could stay with you.”

“But you have that big house all to yourself. Unless Ana is going to stay indefinitely.”

I grab a stack of plates and take them to the table. The fact that Ana doesn’t live in New York constantly nags at me, and I feel like our time together is fleeting. I’ve never done a long distance relationship before, and the thought of not seeing her for more than a day causes pain to ripple through my chest.

What the fuck?

There’s really no use denying it anymore. I’m falling for this woman, and I’m plummeting fast.

“I’m not sure what the plans are,” I say honestly. “We haven’t talked about it yet.”

“Make sure you do,” Luke tells me and his advice is fucking annoying. He means well, I know, but he’s my younger brother. I should be the one dishing out relationship advice and worldly wisdom, dammit. “I know I told you before, but keeping secrets and not telling the whole truth caused a lot of problems for Lexi and me in the beginning. Learn from our mistakes.”

“Mm-hmm,” I mumble, unable to bring myself to actually agree with him, even though he’s right. The darkness inside of me wants to surface, and I’m doing everything I can to keep it at bay. Luke is a good guy. Better than me. And that’s exactly why I’m feeling like this.

I don’t take feeling inferior well, even though he’s not meaning to make me feel that way. Sometimes I wonder if it’s in my own damn mind, if the guilt of what I did got to me and made me neurotic. Lexi told me I need to stop punishing myself. Maybe she’s right. Or maybe I just need to be a better person.

Ana makes me a better person. I’m not sure how, but she does. I don’t want to be anything but fucking perfect for her.

“So you’re okay with a long-distance relationship?” Luke asks.

“I’d rather it not be long distance, but with her…yeah.”

Luke grins. “I know that look.”

“What look?”

“That look on your face now. You really like this chick. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Way to be supportive, asshole.”

“Just looking out for you, brother.”

* * *

“How long are you staying in New York?” Luke asks Ana. We just sat down for dinner, and I know he’s asking because I said I hadn’t yet. I’m not sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.

“Um, I’m not too sure,” Ana tells him, flicking her eyes to me. “I like it here, and I’m kind of enjoying the fall weather. I’m from Kentucky, and the weather doesn’t change this soon. It’s still hot where I live.”

“Ever think about moving here?” Luke asks and digs into his food. The question is casual, yet still seems obvious to me.

“Actually, yes,” Ana says, surprising me. “I always wanted to get away from my hometown. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just small and filled with a lot of, well…how should I put this nicely…narrow-minded people. I’ll admit I thought I’d go somewhere warm, like San Diego, but I’m really enjoying the city here.”

“I love New York,” Lexi says. “I was born and raised in Brooklyn and couldn’t imagine living somewhere else.”

“You all are from the city, right?” Ana asks, looking around the table.

“Those two are Upper East Siders.” Lexi narrows her eyes with playful judgment. “I converted Luke at least.”

“All I know about the different neighborhoods is what I’ve seen on TV,” Ana admits with a laugh.

“Manhattan is nice,” Lexi goes on. “The girls like going to Central Park.”

“Uncle Cole’s house has a ghost,” Paige announces, cutting up her lasagna. She says it matter of fact, like she’s commenting on the weather.

Silence falls over the table. I look across at my niece. “That’s news to me.”

“Paige, honey, why do you think Uncle Cole’s house has a ghost?” Lexi asks calmly.

“I’ve seen him,” Paige answers.

“I told her ghosts aren’t real,” Grace huffs, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, they are!” Paige insists. “I saw him last time we were there. He came out of the basement and his clothes were all bloody. I told him to go away and he listened. He’s a good ghost.”

“I’ll be sleeping with the lights on,” Lexi mutters and shakes her head. We laugh and go about our meal.

“Are you going into the office tomorrow?” I ask Lexi.

“No. I’ll be in Wednesday and Thursday this week.”

I nod, trying to think of a way to get her to invite Ana over without being obvious—to both Lexi and to Ana—that I’m worried about Ana being alone at my house with her creepy-as-fuck ex walking around out there. I don’t know what I’ll do if he comes up to me again, but I know it won’t end well for him.

“I’ll be in the city Tuesday. Do you want to meet for lunch?” Lexi asks Ana and my blood pressure goes down. Just a bit. Now, just to make it through tomorrow and everything will be fine.

The thought is jarring.

Because things are fine. Better than fine.

It’s been years since I’ve been able to say this, and even longer since I’ve felt it.

Life is fucking good.

* * *

“Cole.”

I stop dead in my tracks, nerves instantly shot. It’s all I can do not to turn around with a grimace.

“Yes, Caitlin?” I say pleasantly, turning around. It’s early Monday morning, and I just refilled my coffee.

“Lindsay had a great time Friday. She can’t stop talking about it.”

“That’s great,” I say, having to remind myself who Lindsay is for a moment. She’s Caitlin’s niece, and I was set up to take her as my date to the book release party on Friday. It was a harmless, strictly professional date, yet I had reservations.

“She’s still in town, you know.”

“I hope she’s enjoying the city.” Is Caitlin for fucking real right now? She’s not really trying to set me up with her niece—again—is she?

“I think it’s safe to say that she is.” Caitlin’s thin lips press into a smile. Fuck. I think she is. “There’s a meeting tonight with us publishers about adding a new imprint. I’d like you both to sit in on it and weigh in.”

Fuck, that’s huge. “I’ll be there.”

“It’ll be catered, so don’t bother leaving for dinner. I’ll email you the details.”

There’s a moment before she turns and walks away. A moment, and I don’t say anything. Ana is at my house, alone and probably bored. I miss her terribly, and I’m still freaked the fuck out over her being by herself with her ex out there. She texted me not that long ago, saying she just got up and is eating breakfast. The alarm is on at the house, and the motion sensors are on by all the doors. I showed her how to use the security camera system, and she said she had no plans to leave the house today. I’m fairly certain she’s safe.

But until I’m completely certain, I should go home. I want to go home. Home to my girlfriend. My incredibly hot girlfriend who I cannot wait to fuck again.

And I also want to go to that meeting. If any of the other board members have reservations about promoting me, this will be a good fucking time to show them that they have nothing to worry about. I’m perfect for the job.

I go into my office and get my cell out, laying it on the desk and contemplating exactly what to say to Ana when I call her. She’s a grown-ass woman and certainly doesn’t need me taking care of her. But I’m worried about her, and that worry intensifies along with my feelings for her.

Forgoing my usual preparations, I call Ana with nothing in particular to say in mind. She answers right away.

“Hey, babe.”

“Ana. Hey. How are things at the house?”

“Good. All is quiet here. Though I have to admit, after hearing Paige say a bloody ghost came out of the basement, I am a little freaked out. If you come home and find salt lines in front of every door, don’t be mad.”

I laugh. “There are white candles in the living room if you need them.”

“Great! Can you pick up a sage smudge stick and some holy water on your way home too? Best to cover all our bases.”

I laugh. “Is it sad I actually know of a place not far from here that sells that sort of stuff?”

“Not sad. Awesome. Totally awesome. Though I do wonder why you know about it.”

“I actually went there to research something for a book.”

“You’re a very thorough editor.”

Why do her innocent words seem seductive? Damn, I miss her. “I am.”

“I should confess to you that I am looking through the cabinets right now for salt.”

“Open the cabinet next to the oven. There’s a big canister on the middle shelf.”

“Oh, and it’s organic,” she says and I hear the cabinet shut. “Isn’t all salt organic? It’s not grown, so how can it not be? I don’t think anything is sprayed on it like plants, right?”

“There aren’t any regulations for salt like there are for meat and produce. It’s a marketing ploy.”

“And you fell for it when you were ‘food shopping’, you sucker.”

Not only is Ana unbelievably sexy, she makes me laugh. I don’t want to go to that meeting anymore. Which reminds me…I need to fucking tell her.

“I did. Hook, line, and sinker, they got me with the promise that pure sodium can be healthy when labeled organic,” I say, and an alert beeps on my computer, letting me know I received an email. I absent-mindedly click on it, and see that the agent I was supposed to meet for lunch has to cancel. That frees up an hour and a half.

“I have some good and bad news,” I start. “What do you want first?”

“What do I want? Hmm…I think you know exactly what I want.”

Now I know she meant to be seductive that time.

“But give me the bad first.”

“There’s a meeting tonight about starting a new imprint. I have to go,” I tell her. “It shouldn’t take too long. Everyone is eager to leave at the end of the day.”

“That sounds exciting. And important. That’s not the good news mixed in, is it?”

“No, the good news has nothing to do with books.”

“What is it?”

“I’m coming home for lunch.”

“I’ll make sure to have something ready for you,” she says, and I can tell she’s smiling. “Make sure you’re hungry.”

I lean back in my chair, counting down the hours until I can leave. Everything is going so right, falling into place exactly how it should be. It’s what I’ve wanted for years, and now that it’s finally happening, I’m happy. Really fucking happy.

The last time I felt like this, everything blew up in my face. I know history isn’t damned to repeat itself, but if we don’t learn from our mistakes, the fallout is ten times worse the second time around. I can’t go back to that dark place again.

If I do, I know I won’t come out alive.