“I’m not the best cook,” I warn Cole, trying to flip the omelet in one piece. I fail, and it breaks apart. How the hell is anyone able to do it without breaking it? It has to be sorcery.

“That’s okay,” Cole says as he unloads the dishwasher. “I’m not either.”

“It would help if you had decent food in this house,” I joke. “I got all excited this morning when I looked in the pantry because I thought I saw chips and salsa. You have chips, but the salsa turned out to be pasta sauce.”

Cole chuckles. “I suppose we could go food shopping later.”

“Food shopping?” I look away from the eggs to stare down Cole. “You mean grocery shopping?”

“I guess. But I’ll be buying food, so I call it food shopping. It’s a New York thing, I’ve noticed from editing books written by people who aren’t from here.”

“You New Yorkers are weird.”

“We are.”

Smiling, I go back to the eggs and do my best to salvage breakfast. After spending several hours in the hot tub last night, Cole and I came inside, showered, and passed out in bed, not waking until late this morning. We lounged around for a while before coming down here to lazily make breakfast.

An important conversation has to happen between the two of us, and I think we’re both going on turtle-speed to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Though the more time I spend with Cole, the less scary that inevitable talk seems.

Well, except for one topic we have to touch on. That’s scary as hell and even more irritating. But I’m not going to waste a second thinking about Steven just yet. Not when we have crappy omelets and plain toast to feast on.

Cole makes a fresh pot of coffee and pours two mugs. He adds cream and sugar to his and leaves mine black, just the way I like it. I dish up the food, and we sit next to each other at the island counter.

The sun is out in full force today, and so is the wind. Despite the bright rays of light beaming down on the earth, I know the air is chilly, carrying with it the crispness of fall. It doesn’t happen this early back home, and getting an early taste of the sweetness of autumn is exciting.

I fucking love Halloween.

“Tomorrow,” Cole starts, and then takes a bite of food.

“What about tomorrow?” I ask, though I’m pretty sure I know where this is going. Cole has to work tomorrow. I don’t. Well, I guess I do, but I can do my work from anywhere.

“I have to go into the office,” he says after he finishes chewing. “Are you staying or, uh, not staying?”

For someone as well spoken and put together as Cole, it’s damn adorable to see him get tongue-tied and flustered around me. It makes me feel good—I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that—to know that I’m able to undo the tight strings Cole keeps wrapped around his professionalism.

“I don’t know,” I respond. “I haven’t booked a return flight or anything.” I trade my fork for my coffee mug, knowing that Big Conversation #1 is coming. And now I’m nervous again. I want to stay in New York and spend more time with Cole. I’d like to get together with my agent again, and take Lexi up on her offer for dinner once more. There are a couple more touristy things I’d like to do and see, one being any show on Broadway.

But I don’t want to come across as desperate or trying too hard. I don’t want to let Cole know I’m willing to invest everything into this if he’s not. The fear of getting hurt is so strong it mixes with the coffee and makes my stomach gurgle.

My mind flashes back to words my best friend spoke to me not that long ago, about how I used to be the type of woman who said what was on her mind and didn’t give a shit about being judged. That version of myself is slowly rising to the surface again.

Finally.

“What would you like me to do?” I throw the question back at Cole, tipping my head and giving him a small smile.

“I want you to stay,” he says with no hesitation. Cole’s direct, gets right to the point, and knows what he wants.

I can only hope he wants me the same way I want him.

“But I’m worried about you being here alone,” he goes on. “I’ll be at the office all day, and you’re welcome to stay here…”

“Right.”

And now Big Conversation #2 has to happen. Fucking Steven.

“I’m not sure how to handle this,” Cole admits. “I like you, Ana. I like spending time with you and getting to know each other. I like fucking you too, of course.” He flashes a grin. “I don’t want you to get hurt, but I don’t want to make it seem like I’m trying to boss you around or anything and say you can’t be alone, but thinking of you here all day when he’s out there makes me uncomfortable.”

“I understand.” I bring my coffee to my lips and take a sip. “And I like being with you too.”

Cole sets his fork down and takes my hand. “The last relationship I was in ended in a shitty way. After that, I thought I’d never find anyone who’d make me want to be in one again. But then I met you, Ana…you’re the exception.”

I gaze at Cole’s handsome face. His jaw is set. Eyebrows pushed together. His words are sincere. I want to believe him. I want this to be true. For him to be the guy who comes in and proves them all wrong.

Love can exist. Not all men are jerks.

The sadness is there in Cole’s eyes, hidden behind his confidence, and suddenly I see how scared he is to put this all out on the table. He was hurt too and has reservations about moving forward.

Yet he took the chance.

It’s still hard for me to see the worth in myself. I’m trying my damn best here, but old habits die hard, no matter how hard I’ve tried to kill it. But Cole sees it. He sees it and decided it’s worth the risk. Tears spring to my eyes. I take my hand away to wipe them. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he says gently.

“I’m not an emotional person like this. But after everything that happened…I really lost faith. Not just in finding someone who makes me happy, but in people in general.”

“I understand the feeling. Don’t apologize for it, Ana.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “So it is okay if I call you my girlfriend now, right?”

The word sends a shockwave through me, and suddenly everything I want scares the shit out of me. I want to be Cole’s girlfriend. I want to be in another relationship. The apprehension I feel is normal, right? After all the shit that happened with Steven, I’d be weird if I weren’t nervous.

I smile at Cole. “I would very much like that.”

Fear aside, Cole asking me to be his girlfriend solves the problem of not knowing what he wants with me. But—of fucking course—it opens up a whole bunch of other problems.

Do we have to be secretive? Cole didn’t want word getting out in the office that we were sleeping together. Being an actual couple voids the stigma, I think. Or does it make it worse? And I know for sure being Cole’s girlfriend brings about a list of things we need to talk about.

I don’t live in New York, and I’ve never had a long-distance relationship before. There are things in my past that Cole should know about if we’re more than just friends with benefits. I’m not the type of person to leave skeletons in the closet once I get close to someone. I’d rather pull out the old, dusty bones and bare it all. If not, the rattling and shaking of ones long since forgotten tend to fall out the moment that door is open, and it’s always at the worst possible time.

After dealing with Steven and all his bullshit lies, the way he made me feel like something was wrong with me for wanting to be treated right, all the times he told me I was acting like a baby or a drama queen for getting upset when he outright insulted me…it messed with me, and I know it.

But something about Cole makes me think things can be different.

I’ve already met his family and friends. I’ve seen him at work. While I know there is definitely more to Cole, I feel like I have a good handle on getting to know him. Steven kept his personal life guarded from me, and then started to remove me from my own personal life.

He didn’t want me to have friends.

He didn’t want me to talk with my family.

He wanted me for himself, and at first, that notion seemed romantic. The thought alone is jarring, but when you spin it, when you tied it up with a pretty bow and a hell of a lot of manipulation, it works.

And now that it’s happened to me, it makes me hyper sensitive to anything and everything that portrays possessiveness as romantic. Sneaking in to watch her sleep is not sexy. It’s fucking creepy. Bossing a woman around isn’t swoon-worthy. It makes you a jerk. I’ll never understand the super-alpha male trend in romance because in the end, I want a nice guy who’s not going to treat me like his property. Don’t get me wrong; a confident man who knows his way around a woman’s body and isn’t afraid to show it is fucking sexy as hell.

Like Cole.

He’s direct. Knows what he wants. Says it like it is and doesn’t seem to give a fuck what others think. He takes charge during sex. He’s smart, confident and knows it. But he respects me. He makes me feel good about myself.

So no matter how complicated things are, we should figure this shit out and give it all we have. But before I can go further into the issue and bring it up to Cole, my phone rings.

“It’s my best friend,” I tell Cole and pick up my phone to answer. “Hey, Jess,” I say into the phone.

“I haven’t heard from you in days. Are you still alive?”

“Nope. You’re talking to a ghost. I’m making my way across the state line to haunt you right now.” I take the last bite of my food and grab my coffee.

“You’re hilarious, Ana. How are things? I’m guessing you’ve been so busy fucking your editor’s brains out you haven’t had a chance to call, right?”

I press the phone against my ear, hoping to muffle her voice enough that Cole can’t hear. God, she’s so loud.

“Maybe,” I say.

“Ohhhh, he’s next to you, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Naked?”

“Jess!”

“Sorry,” she laughs. “How are things, though?”

Cole takes the dishes to the sink and starts washing the frying pan. Keeping my coffee in my hand, I walk across the kitchen and look out the window. Another large house is right next to us, though this one has been divided into upscale apartments.

The water is running in the sink, and I don’t think Cole can hear me, but I don’t want to take chances. I’m not gossiping about him or anything, but it’s awkward to have someone listening to your conversation regardless. I go through the kitchen and into the dining room.

“Steven showed up.” The words ricochet through me, and I feel paralyzing fear all over again.

“What?”

“Friday night…at that book party I told you about. I thought I saw him there but then thought I just imagined it because it was a closed party and I didn’t think he’d be able to get in. And then Saturday morning, he came up to Cole pretending to be an author.”

“What…the…fuck. Ana—fuck. I don’t even know what to say.”

I close my eyes and let out a breath. “I don’t either.”

“Did you tell Cole about him?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“He thinks I should call the police.”

“You should!” Jess exclaims. “You haven’t yet, have you? Ana, do you remember what—”

“Of course I do. I just…I…I’m scared, Jess.”

“I know,” she says gently. “But you’re also brave. Really brave.”

The tears are back in my eyes again. “I don’t feel like I am.”

“You are. You’re in New York now. You put your book out there and landed a deal. That took a lot of courage. Hell, just writing the damn thing took guts.”

“Thanks, Jess.” I set the coffee down on the dining room table and lean against the wall. “I’ll be lucky if Cole still wants to be with me after this. The beginnings of relationships are supposed to be the best part. And we’re dealing with the leftovers from my last.”

“It could be a good thing.”

“How in the world can it be good?”

“You know that saying ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best’? Well, it’s kind of like that in a sense. If Cole will stick by you through all this, and you haven’t even been together that long, I think it proves his devotion. If you can get through this together, then you guys probably have a real shot at things in the long run.”

I take a minute to let the words sink in. “I think you’re right.”

“I’m always right, Ana. Don’t forget that.”

“If I do, you’ll remind me.”

“Damn right I will. Now, Ana, please contact the police.”

I turn around, looking through the dining room. I can see Cole’s shadow as he moves about the kitchen. “I will.”

“Promise me.”

“Promise.” I let out a breath and sink down into a chair at the dining table. “Is this ever going to stop?”

Jess hesitates, and that second is all I need to know that she’s unsure. Because there is something seriously wrong with Steven. He’s not going to just forget about me and move on. The only way this will stop is if he’s locked up forever. I’m miles away from home and he’s here.

He found me.

Hundreds of miles away.

My stomach flip-flops and I have to close my eyes, concentrate on my breathing. Everything I tried to downplay in my mind is hitting me hard in the gut right now. The severity of Steven’s stalking is rising to the surface and I can’t ignore it any longer, can’t brush it aside with a “it’s happened before.”

He’s sick.

He needs help.

He needs to be locked the fuck up.

“Yes,” Jess says. “Someday it will. Going to the police could speed things along. If you can get a restraining order against him this time and he keeps showing up, he’ll be arrested again, I’m sure. He hurt you, and that’s on record. He won’t get away with this forever.”

“Right.” I swallow hard and wish I had her confidence. “Cole’s done washing dishes. The running water was my cover to talk about this to you,” I say quietly.

“I thought you said he knew?”

“He knows enough. And if he asks, I’ll tell more. It’s not the most pleasant thing to talk about.”

“I know, hun. I’m sorry. Have fun and be safe.”

“I will. Love you, Jess.”

“Love you too, Ana.”

I hang up and open Facebook, needing a distraction until my heart stops racing. But that backfires, and I have a glaring friend request from Steven to my Scarlett Levine page. My heart rate increases even more with the fear that he could fuck up my career. The publicist did tell me over and over how important social media is nowadays for authors. What if Steven starts rumors or leaves comments or—

“Ana?”

I whirl around, startled at Cole’s voice.

“Sorry.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Why are you sorry?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

Cole comes over and takes a seat next to me, sliding his hand across the table. His fingers weave through mine. “Is everything okay?”

“In theory. Jess thinks I should call the police too. About you know who.”

Cole’s brown eyes turn serious. “You should, Ana. I wish I could say I knew what would happen, but I don’t. Though I am sure an official report filed will help if there is another incident. Keeping a record of all the shit this guy is doing will benefit you in court if it comes to that.”

My head moves up and down, and I start to feel like I’m leaving my body. My heart is racing even faster now.

“I just want this over, and I’m so sorry you got dragged into this mess.”

“I’m not.”

I flick my gaze to his.

“I like you, Ana. A lot. I meant it when I said you were an exception. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You give me hope…you make me want things I swore I didn’t. I want to be with you. And if being with you means dealing with your asshole ex-boyfriend, then I want to help.”

My brain can’t form words. I can only smile and blink back tears. “Thanks,” I choke out. “Still, I know this is the last thing you want to deal with.”

“Only in the sense that it’s causing you to be upset. We all have baggage, Ana. My ex was no saint, either. She did some shitty things that damaged a lot of relationships.”

I pick up my coffee, needing a moment again. “So I guess we should get dressed and go to the police station?”

“If that’s what you want, then yes. And I strongly encourage you to go.”

I put my hand on Cole’s. “Yeah. You’re right. There needs to be a record of Steven being a piece of shit. Then we can go ‘food shopping’ like a normal couple.”

Cole chuckles. “I like that. Being a couple, I mean.”

I smile. “Me too.”

* * *

“You’re right,” I say, looking around the store. “This isn’t as exciting as I thought. And there are so many people.”

“Sunday is a bad day to go food shopping,” Cole tells me and eyeballs the cart, which is filling fast. “Is there anything else you want?”

“Cheese. I’m trying hard not to be appalled that you don’t have a good stash of cheese in your house.”

Cole laughs. “I don’t eat it fast enough and then it goes bad. I hate wasting food.”

“I’ve never had cheese long enough to go bad. I love cheese. I eat it when I’m stressed and it makes me feel better.”

Cole raises an eyebrow. “That’s a little strange,” he teases.

“Hey, when you think about all the other things I could do when I’m stressed, eating cheese is totally innocuous.”

“You’re right.” He directs me to the dairy section of the store.

“Should we invite Luke and Lexi over for dinner?” I ask Cole, putting a block of cheese into the grocery cart. We left the police station and went right to the grocery store. The cop I talked to pulled up Steven’s record and assured me that I wasn’t overreacting. The fact that Steven found me states away only shows how fucking crazy he is. If he shows up again, I’m to call 911 right away.

“We can,” Cole replies, though he doesn’t sound too excited about it. He mentioned only a few minutes ago that it’d be fun for us all to get together. Just days ago, Cole confessed to me that he was jealous of Luke for getting married and having a family. The confession was refreshing, admitting something that we all feel but never say out loud.

Sometimes seeing others succeed—in life, school, careers—makes it seem like you won’t succeed yourself. Like there is only one spot left at the happiness table, and they got it instead of you.

It’s not true at all, and it’s salient to me, but I do know that feeling. I’ve felt it from time to time. And it fucking sucks to see someone else have everything you want when you’re scraping yourself off the pavement, just trying to make it through the day.

Jealousy is normal.

Envy, however, is not.

Cole didn’t go any further into things, but I get the feeling he and Luke didn’t always get along and it had something to do with all that.

“I’ll text Luke and ask.” Cole pulls out his phone, texting as we browse for junk food. A minute later, he gets a reply, shaking his head after he reads it.

“What?”

He looks at me. “I’m going to say something brutally honest,” he warns.

“Your honesty is one of the things I admire most about you,” I assure him.

“Luke asked if we wanted to go over to their house instead for dinner. It’s a school night and they have kids.”

“And?”

“It’s annoying how people with kids try to dictate what people without kids do. Like I’m being punished for not having a child.”

I laugh. “It is a little annoying. I mean, I get it. It’s a bit of a drive from here to their house, and packing up the kids is probably a hassle. But it’s a hassle for the other people as well. People without children can be just as busy as people who do have kids.”

“Exactly.” He looks at me. “What do you want to do? Go over anyway?”

“I don’t mind. I would like to see Lexi again.” I debate bringing up how Lexi didn’t drink anything at the party but decide against it. I don’t want to come across as a gossip. I don’t like gossip. Let me rephrase that: I don’t like being the one to gossip. I’ll listen to others gossip all day long as long as I’m not an actual part of it. “But you do have to work in the morning.”

“We can go. Luke said he’s making lasagna for dinner. Our grandpa’s recipe. It’s one of my favorites.”

I laugh. “You’re willing to go out of your way for food you like. I knew there was a reason you and I got along so well.”