Cole’s chocolate eyes are a dark mirror of my own soul. Focused, fooling the world. Sights set on what’s right there in front of you, ignoring the emptiness that burns inside.

But also sad.

Desperate.

Lonely.

Forever searching for the one thing you know you’ll never find.

He shifts his gaze to mine and smiles. “I might be willing to give you a pass. Just once.”

“Well, that’s good to know. But I could always make it up to you.” I take a breath and shift my weight, going from sitting in Cole’s lap to straddling him. His jaw tenses and he closes his eyes in a slow blink. I know he’s still upset from hearing about my ex. He’s worried, and his worry is warranted. But I don’t want to spend the last few hours we have together fretting over Steven.

I look at Cole’s handsome face, heart pressing against my chest, beating so fast it hurts. Please tell me to stay. I don’t want to go home, but I have no reason to stay. Give me a reason to stay.

Cole’s head tips down against my breasts. His arms fasten around me and he suddenly stands up, setting me on the table. I spread my legs and he steps between, hands moving to my waist. He dips me back, lips not even an inch from my face. His eyes search mine, and I can’t help but think I know exactly what he is looking for.

“Cole,” I whisper, but the words die in my throat as he puts his lips to mine. I surrender to his kiss, letting go of all the bad things that are stuck in my mind. All the time I was made to feel like I was worthless. When my every move, every thought, was criticized. When I felt like I wasn’t enough. And the shame I still feel for falling for it.

It’s all gone when I’m with Cole. Because despite this fucking mess we’re in, there is something beautiful happening between us and I can’t even begin to explain why or how.

When I’m with him, I feel like I’m enough.

And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

His tongue enters my mouth, soft at first. Once he gets a taste, Cole doesn’t hold back. He carefully leans me back onto the table and moves over me, kissing me like he’s drowning and I’m his only source of oxygen.

We kiss for a moment before he scoops me up, holding me to him like I weigh nothing at all. I put my mouth back to his, unable to stop kissing him. Blindly, he walks forward, foot catching on the leg of a chair. He stumbles but recovers fast, and still, I can’t stop.

Because it’s starting to feel like this is going to be our last time. My relationship with Cole won’t end, but it won’t be the same after I leave. The passion, the uncontrollable way we can’t keep our hands to ourselves will be dead and gone. I’ll be just another author, and he’ll be the guy who proofs and critiques my books. Tears fill my eyes at the thought.

I didn’t want to risk my heart again. I didn’t want to get my hopes up for something that will never pan out, to think that finally, finally, I found what I long thought was just a myth.

We get to the back staircase in the kitchen, and Cole stops. He pins me against the wall and my legs tighten around him. He moves his lips to my neck, sucking hard. His teeth graze my flesh and I shiver, sending tingles all the way down my spine. They spark and warm me, and all I can think about is taking Cole’s clothes off. He runs his tongue across my collarbone, and it’s almost more than I can bear.

“I want you,” I pant.

“I need you,” Cole growls.

“Now,” we both breathe at the same time. Cole loosens his grip and I slide down the wall. He grabs the bottom of my top and pulls it over my head. I raise my arms, easing it off. He takes a moment to admire my breasts, lips parting as his desire grows. I reach forward and slip my fingers through the belt loops of his pants. Dressed for the office, Cole is wearing a charcoal gray suit and a silver tie. There is something so fucking sexy about a man in a suit. The only thing hotter will be stripping him out of it.

He takes off his jacket as I undo his pants. It’s chaotic. Desperate. Passionate. We can’t get each other naked fast enough. I pull on his shirt and a button pops off and rolls away. Cole’s muscular chest heaves as he inhales, diving back down onto me. His hands slip behind my neck and into my hair as he kisses me. I plunge my hand into his boxers, fingers wrapping around the wet tip of his hard cock.

Cole lets out a moan and brings one hand around to unhook my bra. He takes it off and cups my breasts, trailing kisses down my neck. Suddenly, he drops to his knees and pushes my back up against the wall. He bunches my skirt up around my waist and kisses my thigh. I lean back, head hitting the drywall behind me, groaning with pleasure as his warm breath rolls over me.

One hand goes around my leg, and he slowly drags it up to my ass and slips his fingers inside my panties. His nails graze my skin and he puts his mouth on me, tongue lashing out in a tease against the fabric of my underwear.

“Ohhh,” I moan and close my eyes, Cole parts my legs further, head buried between and kisses the inside of my thigh again. I steal a glance down the exact moment he flicks his eyes up. I’m so fucking turned on. This is so fucking hot.

I’m not aware of where we are. That there is a window right next to me and another across the room. Anyone can look inside and see us. None of that matters.

Slowly, Cole peels my panties down to my ankles. He runs his fingers up my legs, then takes one behind the knee and lifts, freeing that leg so my panties sit on the floor around the other. His hands slide back up and circle my entrance.

“Wet already?” Cole’s voice vibrates off me.

“Yes,” I pant.

“Who’s making you wet?”

I lick my lips and risk another look down. “You. You are, Cole.”

The moment I say his name he grabs my waist and moves in, mouth open, tongue flicking against my clit. Pleasure bounds through me and I grab a tangle of Cole’s short brown hair. He keeps one hand wrapped around me, fingers pressing into my ass-cheek. He uses the other to spread me wide, licking and sucking until I’m not sure I can stand anymore.

My breath quickens and my muscles tense. I squeeze my eyes shut and press my back into the wall. Cole shifts his weight and tosses one of my legs over his shoulder. I don’t know how he’s able to hold me up right now. Because there is no way I can stand on my own.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” I breathe and then can no longer speak. Cole slows, takes his mouth off me and kisses my stomach. My pulse is pounding and my clit is screaming to be touched again. “Don’t…don’t…stop.”

He flashes a wicked grin and lowers his face, putting his mouth back. My ears begin to ring and my toes start to tingle. The orgasm begins slowly and then hits me with full force, making its way up and down every single nerve in my body and leaving in a hot, wet rush.

My mouth is open, eyes still shut, and I can barely breathe. It takes a minute before I’m even aware that my legs are shaking so bad, Cole is holding me. There’s no way I can stand on my own two feet right now. Still keeping me upright, he stands and pulls me close. Feebly, I wrap my arms around him and cling to his chest.

Cole kisses me, and tasting myself on his lips is such a fucking turn-on. I’m still reeling from the orgasm, but it makes me want to fuck him and give him something just as good. Taking a steadying breath, I finish undressing him and take his dick in my hands. I lick my lips when I look at it, admiring the length and girth.

We kiss once more, and then Cole’s hands land on my shoulders. He turns me around, slaps my ass, and gently pushes me forward. I fall onto all fours on the stairs. He slaps my ass and comes forward, entering me from behind. We both moan in pleasure.

Keeping his hands on my ass, he pushes that beautiful cock in and out several times and then stops.

“Ana,” he says, voice all breathy.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I want to look at you.” He pulls out and I turn around, perching on the edge of a step. “I want to kiss you as I fuck you.”

“Oh,” I say, suddenly non-verbal. Cole is hot-as-sin but there’s more to his lovemaking. It’s deep. We’re connected more than physically.

I don’t want this to end.

I put my feet on the step below and widen my legs. Cole moves in, hands landing on the stair my head is resting against. I guide his cock back inside and then hold onto him as he drives himself in and out, picking up speed and pushing in harder each time. His lips meet mine in a gentle kiss. Soft, fleeting. Then he sticks his tongue past my lips and is kissing me hard.

I’m getting close to another orgasm, and I can tell he’s close too. I buck my hips so that his cock hits my g-spot in just the right way. Spots fill my vision as the second orgasm hits me. I cling onto Cole, body on overdrive. My nails bite into his skin and he thrusts faster and faster until he comes too. He pushes himself in deeper and holds his cock there. I can feel the warmth rush out of him and his dick pulsing deep inside me.

Breath leaving in huffs, he lowers his head against mine. I bring a weak arm up and cup his cheek, stretching my neck up so I can kiss him. I’ve never had sex like this before. I didn’t think it was possible for it to be this intense. This amazing.

This connected.

Slowly, Cole pulls out and uses his discarded boxers to wipe me off. Then he picks me up and carries me upstairs like he always had intended to do. We go into his room and get into bed, ripping the neatly-made covers back. My skirt is still around my waist. I take it off and drop it next to the bed.

Cole covers us with the sheet and spoons his body around mine. I’m still floating on post-sex bliss. I’m comfortable in this bed and even more so snuggled up next to Cole. I could easily drift to sleep and miss my flight.

It wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Cole lets out a deep sigh and tightens his grip around me. I close my eyes and wiggle closer, enjoying the heat of his skin even though I’m still hot and sweaty from sex. Cole runs his fingers through my hair, and I really do start to drift off.

“You should probably get dressed,” he says, each word coming out slowly like he doesn’t want to say it, like he doesn’t want me to leave.

“Right.” I let out a breath, wishing he would tell me not to go. That he’ll miss me. Something. Anything. “Everything is packed up and ready to go. Next time do you think you can get Black Ink to fly me first class?”

Cole chuckles. “Next time. Yeah, next time for sure.” I roll over and he hooks his leg around me. I can feel his heart beating up against mine. Tell me you’ll miss me. If he doesn’t say it now, he never will. Maybe he never meant to and everything I think he’s feeling is wrong.

It wouldn’t be the first time I messed up when it comes to romance.

The silence is deafening as I wait for him to speak, trying to use the Force and get the words out of him. Only, I want them to be true.

I close my eyes and sigh, feelings of defeat hitting me hard. And then Cole takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. “Ana?” he asks.

“Yeah?” I look into his eyes, heart in my throat. He’s going to beg me to stay. Tell me that it’ll kill him to see me go. He’ll at least make a plan to see me again. He has to.

“I’ll drive you to the airport,” he says.

That’s it? That’s all he has to say? I force a smile. “Thanks.” I turn away, knowing there is no way I can hide the disappointment on my face. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“I’ll bring you your clothes.”

I just nod and get up, picking my skirt up off the ground, and hurrying into the bathroom. My stomach is starting to hurt and I’m feeling like the world’s biggest idiot. Why would Cole like me? I turn on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up, and fight off one of those moments that hits me every so often. I’ve had them less frequently as time goes on, but when it does indeed hit me, it hits hard.

I’m not worthless. There is plenty to like about me. For example… I… uh… fuck. I step inside the shower and quickly wash myself. I’ll come back to this later. I have good qualities. More than one. More than two. My therapist had me make a list of them once. I was able to come up with thirty-six things I like about myself.

I keep the list in my wallet.

It might look weird, or incredibly self-absorbed, if anyone were to find it without knowing the origin, though it makes me angry that women can’t embrace and celebrate themselves without being labeled selfish.

My clothes are on the bed when I get out of the bathroom. Cole is in the sitting area, looking out the window. I silently get dressed and wait for him to turn around. Together, we go downstairs. Cole carries my bags to his car and we set off for the airport.

Cole talks about books and work on the way there. It’s almost like he’s going on about it in order to avoid talking about us.

If there ever was an us, that is.

As soon as we get inside the airport, Cole falls silent. He walks with me as far as he can go before security, and we stop.

“Well,” I say. “Thanks for everything. I’ll, uh, send you my book when it’s done.”

Cole nods and hands me my things. I turn and take a step, feet feeling like lead. My emotions are in overdrive. I can still feel Cole between my legs as I walk. Can still feel his arms around me. Smell his cologne. Hear his laugh.

He’s just feet behind me, and I miss him.

I miss what could have been.

“Ana, wait.”

I whirl around and see Cole rushing to me. His eyebrows are pinched together and his jaw is tense. He stops in front of me but doesn’t say anything.

“Cole?”

The line of worry slowly fades as he gazes upon my face. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter. “Heads or tails?” he asks and flips it into the air.

“Tails.”

He catches it and holds it up for me to see. Three running horses on the Nevada state coin look up at me. It’s the same quarter from that night. Our first night together. Cole closes his fingers around the quarter and smiles.

“What does that mean?” I ask and swallow my pounding heart.

“It means I’m going to kiss you one more time.”

And oh, how he does.