“Brooklyn is nice,” I confess, walking along the street next to Luke. We just left a pub, after getting dinner and drinks. Lots of drinks. I don’t normally drink, so keeping up with Luke was a bad idea. Not that he’s a big drinker or anything. But he does consume alcohol socially. And since I have no social life, I don’t.

“You say that like you thought we lived in Hell’s Kitchen,” he replies, amused. “Haven’t you been here before? I’m pretty sure we had friends from Brooklyn.”

“I’ve been to functions here, but I’ve never been here.”

“You’re a snob,” Luke says and turns to look at me. “You do know that, right?”

“Fuck you,” I respond, but for the first time in probably ever, the two words are spoken endearingly. The night did start out awkward as fuck, like I expected. What I didn’t expect was for the awkwardness to quickly go away. “Don’t forget you grew up the same way I did. You fucking enjoyed having all of Grandma and Grandpa’s servants to cook and clean for you.”

“You can’t call them servants!” Luke laughs. “Staff. That’s what you’re supposed to say.”

I’m laughing too. “Fuck. Right. Maybe that’s why that line never worked on the ladies.”

“Even staff sounds pretentious. They had a housekeeper and then later that cook when Grandpa couldn’t get around as easily. Hey, remember that Christmas when Uncle Gerald spilled his brandy and set the tree on fire?”

“How could I forget?”

Luke and I reminisce about our childhood, happily highlighting the good times, and continue walking down the road.

“Do you ever think about our father?” I ask, voice dropping in tone. The question throws Luke, so much so he stops in his tracks for a second before continuing down the sidewalk. We’ve never brought him up. When our parents finally split, we never heard from him again.

“No. Do you?”

“Sometimes. I wonder what he’s doing. If he had more kids to fuck with.”

“He’s dead.”

Now I stop. “He is?”

Luke shrugs. “He is to me. He doesn’t deserve my time. Or yours. I…I…know he hit you.”

We both slow without realizing it. “I didn’t know you knew.”

Luke nods. “I have vivid memories of it. I was young, but fuck, I wanted to kill him then.”

“I’ve repressed most of those memories,” I confess. “And the ones of Mom crying herself to sleep every night.”

Luke nods. “Me too.” We take a few more steps before Luke speaks again. “Someday Harper might ask about him. Her ‘real’ grandfather, I mean.”

I look at Luke and think about what Lexi said. Messy is worth it. When Luke and Lexi met, Luke had a brother who hated him, a biological father who was no longer in the picture, and an over-involved mother who started a Pinterest wedding board just weeks after meeting Lexi. And Lexi had her own issues, the biggest one being her asshole ex-husband who still threatens her for custody years after things were settled. Luke had been severely injured, unable to deal with the guilt from the fire, living with me, and working part-time as a bartender.

Things were messy. Things still are. Their lives are complicated, that’s for fucking sure. And yet I’ve never looked at the two and thought they were anything less than happy.

My mind flashes to Ana. We’ve been texting back and forth nonstop. Our words are flirtatious. Promising. I cannot fucking wait until I see her tomorrow, wrap my arms around her slender waist, to put my lips against hers, and feel her flesh on mine.

I’m starting to think that’s all I should do.

Because Ana is everything I’m not, and instead of balancing each other out, one of us will get pulled down.

“You okay, man?” Luke asks. “You have a weird look in your eye.”

“Yeah,” I say and blink a few times. “Just got lost in thought. And if she does ask, I’d tell her the truth. She’s going to grow up seeing you as her sisters’ stepdad, so it should be easier for her to understand. And she’ll appreciate how important it is that you’re there for her. And Grace. And Paige.”

We cross a street and the sights and sounds of another bar come into view. It’s a nice night for the fall, and everyone is taking advantage of it. The outdoor tables are full, and laughter and chatter fill the air. “I never thought I’d be a stepdad,” he confesses. “Or a dad.”

“You’re a good one. Those girls are lucky.”

“Thanks,” he says and meets my eyes. “It’s weird now that’s the best compliment I can get. I want to be a good father and a good husband.”

My jaw tenses ever so slightly, and I fight those feelings of jealousy again. Luke being a good father and a good husband doesn’t mean he’s filling all the family-man slots. He can be the perfect dad and it doesn’t make me any less likely to be one too. Yet it feels like it, and I don’t know how to change the fucked up way my brain works.

We pass the bar and head in the direction of Luke and Lexi’s place, and make it about half a block before someone is calling to Luke. I cross the street with him, and stop in front of a tattoo parlor. Luke seems to know the tattoo artist rather well, and he’s hassling Luke for not getting some design finished.

My mind drifts back to Ana as they talk. I’m not paying attention to a word they’re saying until I hear my name.

“Unless I can convince my brother to get some ink too, I’ll have to pass tonight.”

“You want one?” the artist asks me.

The only reason I never got inked before was because Heather insisted she found them unattractive. Which is a real fucking joke since Luke’s arms are covered and she’s still in love with him. I always wanted tattoos and know exactly what I’d get. I grew comfortable not having any, and me and change don’t go hand-in-hand.

I open my mouth to say no, but the word dies in my throat. Several feet in front of us, someone spills a pocket full of change. A quarter rolls down the rough cement toward us, and I recall that night when everything changed. I watch the quarter slow, wobbling a bit before it falls.

Heads, I do this.

“You know what?” I start. “I’ll get one.”

* * *

“Are you sure he didn’t put you up to this?” Lexi asks me for the third time. We’ve only been back at the house for a total of five minutes. “Because you can tell me if he did. You don’t have to cover for him.”

“Thanks, Lex,” Luke says dryly.

“I’m sure,” I tell her. “It was my idea.”

She blinks, shifting her gaze from Luke to me and back again. “Do they match?”

Luke and I both laugh. “No,” Luke clarifies. “We didn’t get matching friendship tattoos. But the dick piercings…”

“Show me,” Lexi tells him.

“The dick piercing?”

Lexi, used to putting up with my brother, just rolls her eyes. “Yes. Whip that bad boy out.”

Luke grins and turns around, pulling his shirt up. Lexi carefully inspects the fresh ink on his back, smiling. “You got our zodiac symbols.”

“There’s room for one more,” Luke points out, turning around. “One more little Winchester baby.” He takes her by the waist and pulls her in. Would it be completely immature to make a gagging sound right now?

“Dammit, you’re good.” She gives him a kiss and turns to me, asking to see the ink on my shoulder. “I like it,” she says. “I bet Ana will too.”

I grit my teeth and give Luke a glare. He grins and shakes his head. One of the girls wakes up and calls for Lexi. She says a quick goodbye and then dashes upstairs. Luke grabs a blue leash and calls for their dog, taking him out one last time before bed.

“Thanks,” I start, going down the steps. “Tonight was…it was nice. We should do it again.”

“Yeah,” Luke agrees. “Took us over thirty years to get things right, but I’m glad we did.”