Chapter 13
Edmund rubbed a hand over the right side of his face as frustration raked him. Every move he made upset someone. He wondered why they couldn’t all live in peace. As the Duke of Demoon, he should have the ability to do as he pleased. When had he lost so much power?
Although the past month with Carolyn had been much better than he had ever imagined life could be, she still pushed him. In an attempt to be the man she needed, he’d attended dinners with her family and even hosted one at his home. But, she still wanted more.
“I just don’t see the benefit,” Uncle Joseph complained. “I have made the rounds with the tenants for many years now. Do you wish for everyone to think I have done a poor job?”
“Of course not. And, I’m not taking the task from you. I simply think it would be wise for me to join you upon occasion.”
“This is that girl’s doing, isn’t it? She pushed your mother out of running the household, too. You are weak to allow her so much freedom.”
Pushed beyond his limit, Edmund stood and slammed his hands against his desk. “I’ll not hear another word about the duchess. It is her right to take over the house. It’s the way of things. Just as it is my duty to see to the tenants. I’ve been neglectful in the past, but that stops today.”
“My, my. Such a show of power from the duke. I don’t know if I should be proud or intimidated.”
The sound of Aunt Hannah’s voice grated on his nerves. The woman stood in the doorway, completely uncaring that she’d entered upon a private conversation. Being the oldest of his grandfather’s children, he wondered why she hadn’t inherited any of his good aspects.
“Aunt Hannah.” Edmund inclined his head. “How good of you to join us.”
She curtsied, but the expression on her face looked as though she’d bitten into the peel of a lemon. Then, she turned her venomous eyes on her brother. The two seemed to size each other up until Uncle Joseph backed down.
“Joseph, I believe your little tiff is over, with you as the loser, so you may take your leave. I would have a word in private with the duke.”
Exactly like he did with Edmund’s mother, Uncle Joseph put up no fight as he excused himself. Edmund couldn’t understand the man. Although he, himself, gave in to Carolyn, he also knew when to fight back. His uncle clearly did not.
“Won’t you sit?” Edmund indicated the chair in front of his desk.
After dropping her ample self into it, she made a show of fluffing out her skirts and settling them just so. Edmund marveled at the expensive outfit and jewels adorning the woman. The thought of his cousin on such a tight allowance while she spent her son’s inheritance angered him.
“You have always been a smart boy, so I will not insult you by entertaining the thought that you don’t know why I’m here.”
“I take it the good news of my marriage has traveled to London.”
She narrowed her eyes and pinched her lips. “I understand that girl didn’t belong to you. All I asked my son to do was find a wife. Anyone would do. I had no restrictions on which female it was, but he did. That boy talked about Miss Ashford for well over a year. And, you stole her.”
“What are you really angry about? The fact I have taken her for a wife or the fact that I can procure my own heirs.”
“To be honest, I really don’t know which angers me more. How could you do such a thing to your cousin? Not only did you steal the lady he had chosen, but then you cast him aside. After years of promising him that his child will inherit, you take that, too. There is the Lawrence in you. I always knew you had it.”
As Edmund gripped the arms of his chair, he ignored the cracking as he stressed the wood. “If I were anything like my father, you would not be sitting there so comfortably.”
To his surprise, she laughed. “You’re wrong. My brother was very proud of me. He helped me see my full potential. Do you think I would have become a countess had I been a weak woman? From what I hear, Her Grace has high aspirations as well. Thomas had no chance. After all, he couldn’t have made her a duchess.”
Red clouded his vision. “Do not come into my house and speak such of my wife. I will not entertain another word against her.”
“I see you have formed an attachment to this one. Well, you misunderstand my meaning. I’m impressed. She would have been a great choice for my poor son.”
Gritting his teeth, he kept his gaze trained on his aunt. “Why are you really here? Thomas shall not have my wife.”
“Then, what will he have? Should my dear son find another woman to capture his heart? He has nothing to offer her. What shall they receive from the head of our family?”
“I would imagine his father had left him a legacy.”
Her eyes turned hard. “After my husband’s death, my stepson took the title and everything else he could. Thomas has nothing.”
“Then, I suppose you should remain in my good graces, for you clearly have fallen from the earl’s.”
She stood, and he followed suit as she dropped into a mocking curtsy. “As you wish, Your Grace. We poor relations must toil under you in order to receive a hot meal and a warm bed.”
Unwilling to argue with her any longer, Edmund simply stared at her until she huffed from his study. Considering how his mother and uncle were acting lately, his aunt was the last person he wanted around.
He had a sinking suspicion his life was about to get a whole lot more complicated.
~ ~ ~
“Is there a reason why you are staring at me, Your Grace?” Carolyn asked of her mother-in-law as she set aside her embroidery.
“Yes. There is always a reason for everything I do. You’d be better served to remember that.”
“Thank you for the advice. So, what is your purpose today?”
The dowager duchess let out a long sigh. “I’m trying to figure you out. You see, we were fine before you arrived, and Joseph convinced me your presence wouldn’t change anything. And now, chaos.”
“As I told you, I have no problems sharing the duties of running the castle with you. I have no intention of pushing you out.”
“That isn’t even an issue, and I don’t know if you realize that or not. I can’t tell if your actions are out of ignorance, apathy, or if they are all calculated moves.”
Carolyn stared in confusion at the woman who, previously, had barely spoken two words to her. Was Edmund’s mother completely unhinged? From what Carolyn could tell, this was as real as the dowager had ever been. Could her fake persona be constructed to hide her lack of mental faculties?
“I have no hidden agenda. Everything I have done has been driven by thoughts of bettering the household or the duke.”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t be here. So, you truly must have no idea, and I don’t know if I should hate you for it.”
The truth spouting from her lips, as the duchess believed it to be, was both refreshing and distressing at the same time. Carolyn wasn’t sure how to respond to the strange woman. And, judging from Edmund’s dealings with her, he didn’t know any better.
“It seems like I puzzle you as much as you puzzle me.”
The dowager laughed. “Then, you are a simpleton. As you see, I hold nothing back. I am exactly as I appear.”
“Yes. I can see that is what you want everyone to believe, but there is more to you that I can’t seem to figure out.”
“Don’t try. It’s likely you won’t like what you see.”
“Or, perhaps you won’t,” Carolyn countered, then let out a breath. This arguing wouldn’t help their relationship. “I wish we could come to some arrangement. I have no desire to fight with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
As the dowager stood, a weary look crossed over her face. “That remains to be seen.”
Carolyn was left speechless as the woman left the room. Had that been a threat? Regardless, Edmund would never cast her out, so Carolyn had no reason to worry on that account, but the thought unsettled her. Did the dowager have another meaning?
Forcing the uncomfortable talk from her mind, Carolyn decided to take a walk through the garden. Since the weather began to warm, she relished the opportunity to immerse herself in her beloved plants again. Although the ground was still too hard to garden, she took solace in the comfort of the place.
As she moved through the rows, her mind wandered away from the dowager to all the ways she would instruct the team on changes to the massive space once spring came. Although the garden wasn’t unkempt, it wasn’t in a very good state either. She would enjoy working it to its full potential.
So distracted with the possibilities, her foot slipped on something and she tripped, sailing into the bushes. Limbs poked into her, and prevented her from hitting the ground. It also didn’t provide any leverage to pull herself back up. Unfortunately, her efforts seemed to get a bramble vine twisted around her neck. She tried to dislodge it, but as her body rested upon it, it grew taut against her neck. As she struggled to free herself, the vine only seemed to become tighter.
Clawing at her neck, she worked to free herself, but she only managed to fall farther into the bushes. Panic seized her as she gasped for air. Her limbs became heavy as she fought her eyelids to remain open. This couldn’t be happening.
Then, her frantic movement stopped as darkness crept from the edge of her vision and took over.
~ ~ ~
Fear pierced through Edmund’s heart as he paced the hallway outside of his wife’s bedchamber. He could hardly breathe through his thick throat. This was not supposed to be happening.
The image of the gardener bringing in Carolyn’s lifeless body would haunt him for years to come. And, had it not been for Thomas, he would have lost Carolyn right in that second.
Edmund had helplessly watched as his cousin practiced the techniques he had learned in church. After many attempts at pumping Carolyn’s chest and blowing into her mouth, she’d finally opened her eyes. The debt he owed his cousin stacked to an insurmountable height.
By the time the doctor and his assistants finally emerged from the duchess’s chambers, Edmund had practically destroyed the rug with his pacing. Judging from the man’s face, it had been bad, but Carolyn was still alive.
“The duchess will live, Your Grace. It seems her predicament came by accident. The vine caught her throat as she tripped.”
Relief hit Edmund so hard, his back thudded against the wall. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“The bleeding has finally subsided.” The man mopped his head with a handkerchief. “Make sure Her Grace receives lots of water, and I’d like her to remain in bed for a few days. Rest assured, she will heal and the pain in her throat will lessen with time. For now, I gave her a dose of laudanum.”
“What do you mean bleeding? I only saw a few abrasions where the brambles pricked her skin.” Edmund could hardly believe the man was concerned with a few scrapes when his wife had been strangled.
“I’m sorry, Your Grace, but your wife has lost her child.”
Shock sent cold tendrils up his face and his hearing dulled. Lost her child? Confusion trumped every other emotion. His life was spinning out of control, and there was nothing he could do to reclaim it.
“How? How could this have happened?”
The doctor sighed. “Who knows? It could have been a number of factors. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
As Edmund thanked the man and listened to the instructions, he felt numb. Once the doctor left, he stared at Carolyn’s door. She was no longer carrying his child. He wanted to feel relief that his father’s blood would not be passed on, but all he felt was guilt for not wanting the lost child.
Suddenly an image of Carolyn smiling with a child in her arms taunted him. The vision made him feel so proud. Not for the first time, he wished he were someone else. He wanted to make a family with her. To have that vision be a reality, but it would never come to pass.
Leaning his forehead against the door, he concentrated on his breathing. He had no idea how Carolyn was doing right now, but he wasn’t sure he should go in feeling so conflicted. Nor could he leave her in there alone.
Cracking open the door, he peered into the silent room. She looked so small curled up on her side in the big bed. Her face was ashen, and she didn’t turn to look at him as he entered the room, clicking the door shut behind him.
As he approached her, he felt as though he were walking across a frozen lake. Any moment it could shatter, and he would fall. But, he pressed on. The eerily immobile form of his wife silently beckoned him.
His throat constricted as he thought about what he’d almost lost as well as what they had lost. One wrong step, and his reason for waking had almost disappeared from him. Now that he had her, he had no intention of letting her get away from him in any capacity.
“Carolyn?” His words elicited no response from her, nor did she alter her glassy stare. If it weren’t for the barest of movement from her breathing, he would suspect the doctor had been wrong and she was dead.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he brushed a hand across her cheek. The only acknowledgment from her was a lone tear slipping down her face. It broke his heart, but he didn’t know what to do about it.
“Carolyn, please tell me you are all right. I can’t bear to see you like this.”
“I killed our child,” she croaked out as more tears joined the first on their descent toward the pillow.
Desperate to ease her suffering, he lay beside her and pulled her into his arms. The coverlet added a level of difficulty, but as she clutched at his shirt while the sobs raked her, he knew this was what she needed.
“You didn’t kill anything. This was a horrible accident, nothing more.” He kissed the top of her head and tightened his grip on her. “Dear God, I almost lost you.”
“It would have been better that way.” Her drowsy voice was difficult to understand. “After all, the reason you married me is gone.”
Edmund’s body ran cold as her breathing became even. Glancing down at her relaxed face, he imagined she had finally given into the laudanum. So convenient for her. Fury pumped through his system at her statement, and he wished he could wake her to yell at her. He thought they’d moved past that. Clearly, she hadn’t.
After disentangling himself from his wife, he tucked her back in and wiped the last bit of moisture from her face. His heart ached as he looked upon her. He fully intended to tell her what he thought about her comment, but that could wait until she got better. Right now, all he cared about was her health.
Making his way downstairs, he ignored everyone he passed regardless of their protestations and went straight for the garden. He spoke with the gardener and profusely thanked the man before moving to see the exact bush where Carolyn had become tangled up.
His hands itched to tear the plant from the ground, but he held himself back, for now. The vines that had attempted to steal the life from Carolyn still remained along the path. He picked up the discarded villain, examining where the gardener had cut it from her throat.
He closed his eyes and did his best to contain his grief. Too many factors had come together, in that moment she fell, for him to accept the accident. She tripped in the exact place where the garden had needed the most care. Several overgrown vines had been positioned perfectly to prevent them from being easily broken. And, lastly, Carolyn must have moved in an unusual way to become so entangled. He didn’t like it, but he had no other explanation.
“How is the duchess doing?” Thomas asked as he arrived next to him.
Edmund turned his grateful eyes to his cousin. “She’s alive because of you. I never knew you listened so well in church, but I’m grateful.”
“When attending church with my mother, trust me, you listened.” Thomas’s jovial face turned sad. “I heard about the baby. I’m so sorry.”
Shocked, Edmund’s back stiffened. “How did you hear about that?”
“My mother cornered the doctor. The poor man spilled everything to free himself from her clutches. I know this isn’t the time, but none of them were pleased to have been ignorant of the child.”
Shaking his head, Edmund faced the bush again. “They wouldn’t have been happy knowing, and they aren’t happy not knowing. They can just live with their misery. I care not.”
“What are you going to do? About the heir, I mean.”
Letting out a long sigh, Edmund ran a hand through his hair. “Truthfully, I have no idea. I like the idea of my father’s blood not moving on too much for me to want to create another.”
“Something tells me the duchess will feel differently about the situation. I suspect she wanted the child.”
“Perhaps you’re right. That just means I shall have to show her a different way of thinking.”
~ ~ ~
“I do believe you are correct, Hannah.” The dowager duchess leaned forward as she studied Carolyn. “Likely, she’s too small and weak to carry his child.”
Carolyn glared at the two women who were talking about her as if she were not in the room. The past week since she’d lost her baby had been difficult. And, now that the doctor had cleared her, she thought leaving her bedchamber would be a good idea. Obviously she’d been wrong.
“I do not believe I’ve heard of a height requirement for producing heirs,” Carolyn snapped back. “My sister has passed her sixth month, and she is smaller than I am.”
“Yes, but His Grace is much larger than the viscount. Therefore, he will father larger children,” Edmund’s aunt, Lady Dane, added.
“This conversation is pointless. No one else shall carry the duke’s children.” Carolyn attempted to keep her voice calm while anger and frustration welled inside her. Likely, no one would carry his children ever again. Since that tragic day in the garden, he’d been distant. Although he held her each night, he had refused to engage in any other contact with her. Nor had they shared a meaningful conversation. Not for the first time, the man was avoiding her. He hadn’t changed.
“True, but that is not the only option. Perhaps you should speak to him about your difficulties in carrying a child to term. Surely, His Grace wouldn’t want to put you in any danger for something so selfish.” Sugary venom dripped from Lady Dane’s words.
“Yes.” The dowager duchess nodded. “Allow Thomas to see to the heir while Joseph takes care of the estate. That will free up His Grace’s time so he can tend to your needs.”
The calculated, expectant faces of the two women made her ill. However, regardless of what Carolyn wanted, the women would both have their wish. She knew Edmund too well to think he would give her another child, and as of late, he seemed content to allow his uncle to see to the running of the estate.
She gripped her hands tightly together in her lap. All the hard work she had done to convince Edmund that he had no need to hide behind his mask had been ruined. Had her husband not ripped out the damned bush that had caused her so much trouble, she would be sorely tempted to see to its destruction herself.
Carolyn felt all the fury, irritation and depression from the last week build inside her to the point of exploding. She couldn’t take it anymore. It was past time that she stopped allowing these ladies to treat her in such a manner.
“You know nothing of my needs. The duke and I can see to everything on our own. The two of you discount him because of the slightest bit of difference. He’s strong and capable, and so am I.”
Heat rushed her cheeks at the sound of clapping from the doorway. Slowly turning around, she cringed at the wide smile Thomas shot her. She never should have lost her temper, and having her friend observe it was mortifying.
“Very well said, Your Grace,” he complimented. “I came to see if you would like to join me for a stroll, but I can see you are busy.”
Carolyn jumped to her feet. “I’m available and a stroll sounds lovely.” She turned to the stunned women. “First, I’d like to thank you both for your kind words following my accident. You truly should know how much your welcome to the family has meant to me.”
With that, she took Thomas’s arm and allowed him to escort her from the room. She hadn’t missed the fuming look on Lady Dane’s face, nor had she missed the guilty one on the dowager’s. That woman was a mystery wrapped in a puzzle.
“So, are you brave enough to go to the garden or would you prefer a safer route.”
She batted at his chest. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve spent my life in the garden. What happened the other day was nothing but unfortunate circumstances. And, I shall be forever in your debt.”
“Stop it.” His cheeks tinted red. “I’ve already told both you and your husband that it wasn’t much. After all, it was no more than anyone else would have done.”
They walked in silence for a while and Carolyn allowed the serenity of the garden to wash away the frustration brought upon by the elders in her husband’s family. She took in a deep breath and looked around her. She longed for the spring, in part to feel the rush of bringing the place to greatness and in part to have an escape from the castle and its inhabitants.
“Thank you for rescuing me in there. I don’t know how much more of them I could take.”
He chuckled. “I imagine after your outburst, they feel much the same.”
Heat burned her cheeks. “That wasn’t very well done of me.”
“Think nothing of it. They needed to hear it, and I suspect your husband needs a healthy dose of your feelings as well.”
Gripping his arm, she fought the urge to unburden herself to her friend. She hated how much she had resorted to speaking to Thomas about his cousin recently. It was not her typical reaction to seek advice from others. Sharing her difficulties had never been something she excelled at. Instead, she preferred to work out her problems. Unfortunately, she had no experience with men, so her own counsel was lacking.
“I do believe he needs me to push him,” she admitted at last. “Any ideas on how to do that?”
A sly smile twisted Thomas’s lips. “I do, but it’s rather drastic.”
“Tell me.” She would consider anything at this point.
“He’s not going to like it. I suspect he will yell and snarl, then toss his beloved boulders around until they are nothing but a pile of dust.”
The idea of purposefully angering Edmund didn’t sound like a good idea, but she was becoming desperate. Besides, he did give her permission to push him. This may be the only way to reach him.
“I’ll do it. Now, tell me this plan of yours.”