35 - Samantha
I pull up in front of Jess’s house and take a deep breath. I probably should have told him about the baby, but I just couldn’t find the words. I’ll tell him next time I see him. I think about his performance and smile.
The kids were so happy when Dean was performing, and they were already asking about juggling lessons. I think he’ll be one of the more popular acts. Even if we could schedule Dean or one of the other entertainers for one night a month it would make a big difference to the program.
My mind is buzzing with all these thoughts as I grab my purse and head inside. The second I open the door, I hear one of the twins screaming. I walk down the hall and Jess appears, her hair sticking up in all directions as she rushes out of the twins’ bedroom.
“Sam, hi!” she breathes. “Would you mind grabbing Matt’s blankie? I think it’s on the sofa. I have to grab Michelle.”
“No problem,” I say. I glance at her from the corner of my eye, seeing how frazzled she is for the first time. She sighs as she moves some of my things off the coffee table and I cringe. For the first time since I got here, I feel like I’m in the way. And now, with the child inside me, I know I’ll definitely be overstaying my welcome.
I grab Matt’s blanket and bring it in to him, doing my best to quiet him down while Jess takes Michelle. Once the twins are quiet and finally asleep, I head to the kitchen and pour two cups of tea. Jess takes it gratefully. She shakes her head.
“It isn’t getting any easier,” she says.
“I know. Listen, I don’t mean to be in the way here, so I was thinking I would start looking for a place of my own. With the baby…” I pause, glancing at Jess’s reaction. Her face stays steady and she nods slowly.
“You’re not in the way, Sam. I hope you don’t feel like you have to leave. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to. Have you spoken to Dean?”
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
“Maybe he’ll want to move in together,” she says.
I sigh. “I don’t even know if he’ll want the baby,” I say.
“Why don’t you stay here a little longer, Sam. Your life is going to be upside down soon.”
I smile. “You guys have been so great and it’s time I leave you to your family.”
Jess nods and sighs. “I can help you go to viewings if you want.” She takes a drink and sighs again. “I’m exhausted. I need to go to bed while the two of them are sleeping.”
I nod. “I’ll clean up,” I say as she drops her mug in the sink. Soon I’m alone in my friend’s kitchen, wondering how I’ll find a place of my own. I can start looking online tonight and see what there is on the market. Maybe I could even move closer to work and closer to Dean, that way I wouldn’t be spending so much time in the car. I brush my hand over my stomach and shake my head. Maybe I’m being ridiculous, and moving is just going to add extra stress.
A small flame of excitement builds as I think of having my own space and starting a family of my own. I need to tell him about the baby first, before I make any rash decisions.
I pull out my phone and find Dean’s number.
I’ve been thinking I’ll move out of Jess’s. How do you feel about helping me view some shoebox apartments?
I smile as I press send and head towards my bedroom. Something catches my eye as I walk by - the brown box. I grab it off the shelf and turn it around in my hand. I take a deep breath. I finally feel like my own person, and I finally feel like I’m completely over Ronnie. I can deal with whatever’s in this box. Once I’m in my bedroom, I rip the brown paper off the box and open it up. I frown as I look at the contents.
It’s a red clown’s nose with a scrap of paper. The scrap of paper has the same sharpie writing as the box, with four words scrawled across it.
Go back to Virginia.
My heart starts to beat harder and my mouth is suddenly dry. Go back to Virginia?? Is this a threat? The red clown nose obviously means Dean. This can’t be from Ronnie - it was on the front steps the day he showed up here. He almost got in a fight with Dean, and they’d never met before. I turn the paper over and look in the box again. There’s nothing else.
My thoughts turn back to the woman in the hallway. Could she have sent it? She knew my name, and I had no idea who she was. What the fuck is going on?
My cell phone buzzes. It’s Dean.
We need to talk.
My chest feels hollow and somehow my mouth gets even drier. I fucking know we need to talk, Dean. All of a sudden my hands are trembling and I try to think of something to answer. Should I tell him about this? I stand up and pace back and forth when the doorbell rings.
My heart is thumping as I glance down the hallway towards the front door. I walk slowly, each step creaking on the wooden floors as I make my way to the front. My heartbeat is roaring in my ears by the time I get to the door. I wish Jess had a peep hole and the panic starts to rise inside me.
I take a deep breath and shake my head. I’m being ridiculous. With a sudden gust of courage, I rip the front door open and stare outside. I take a step back in surprise when I see a woman on Jess’s front steps. She’s perfectly put together, standing with her hands clasped in front of her body. Her cold smile makes a shiver travel down my spine.
“Hello, Samantha,” she croons. I try to swallow, licking my lips to get some moisture back in my mouth. How does she know my name? She looks familiar somehow, like I’ve seen her before. I frown.
“Who are you?” I croak back in response. Instead of answering, she hands me a large yellow envelope. I hesitate before taking it from her. I turn it around and then glance back at the woman. She nods to the envelope.
“Open it.”
I glance from her to the envelope and unhook the string holding it closed. I open it up and pull out a stack of papers. They look familiar, and it takes me a few seconds to realise these are my divorce papers.
“What the fuck?” I say, staring at her. “How did you get these? Who are you?”
She just smiles at me. “I want you to stop seeing my son.”
The recognition finally clicks and I see a hint of Dean in her features. My jaw drops open and I shake my head.
“No! Why? What’s going on? Why do you have these?”
“Unfortunately, it seems your lawyer never filed them,” she says slowly. “And your ex doesn’t seem too happy about your relationship. He might want to renegotiate some of the terms in a way that’s… more palatable to him. A judge might not like the fact that you’ve jumped into bed with another man so soon after your separation. It might raise certain questions about your fidelity.”
“My fucking fidelity?” I repeat, jaw hanging down. “Are you serious? He’s the one who cheated on me! He’s the one who broke my heart! How did you get these! I’m calling the police.”
She shakes her head and smirks. “No you aren’t. You’re going to stop seeing my son, and those divorce papers will get filed. If they don’t, you’re in for a very long, very expensive legal battle where your name will be dragged through the mud. You’ll never work with children again.”
She flings the last words at me and they hit me as if they had physical weight. I stagger backwards and stare at her, trying to understand what’s going on. She gives me that cold smile again and turns around, walking slowly down the steps as a driver steps out of her waiting car and opens the back door for her. She glances at me once more before sliding in. The driver closes the door and walks around to the driver’s seat before speeding off down the road.
I stare after them until they’re out of view and then swing the door shut. My eyes drop to the stack of papers in my hands and then back out to the street.
What is going on? Why doesn’t she want me to date Dean? How did she get these papers? Where is Ronnie? Who is she, and more importantly, who the fuck is Dean?! Who have I been dating for the past two months??