Chapter 23
Logan
“Would you like any Champagne?” the stewardess asks just after takeoff.
“Want some wine?” I ask Ava, and she eagerly smiles.
With a nod to the stewardess, she smiles before leaving us alone to prepare our order. Ava looks incredible in a long yellow dress that leaves much to the imagination, with a subtle peek of cleavage.
“Am I allowed to know why you’re traveling to Australia?” she asks, twirling her hair around her finger as she tends to do when she’s nervous.
“Of course,” I answer quickly as Jane places our glasses of wine on the small table between us.
“Thank you,” Ava smiles brightly and Jane seems to appreciate her politeness before leaving us.
“A hotel,” I continue our conversation.
“You have a hotel in Australia?” she asks with wide eyes as I chuckle softly at her excitement.
“Not yet, but that’s what these meetings are for. I’ll only be an investor, but I’m not sure if it’s a good fit yet,” I openly tell her about my business, something I’m notoriously secretive about.
With Ava, I just don’t want her to feel closed off about anything. I know she worries about the start of our relationship, so I constantly walk on eggshells.
Although I’ve never been on one, Ava always makes me feel like I’m proving my worth in a job interview, hoping to dazzle her with my expertise. At any moment, she could tell me I’m not the right fit, or who she thought I was, and this continuous uncertainty is beginning to drive me crazy. I want her to be mine without question.
“Oh, so it’s not even built yet?” she asks.
“No, it won’t be built for another five years.”
“You like doing this, don’t you?”
“Doing what? Flying?” I look around the jet, trying to understand her.
“No, I mean business. You like jetting around the world, taking meetings, building new businesses, you know, the whole thing.”
“Oh, well, kind of. I like closing the deals, so when it’s complete, I’m happy. This part of it – the actual meetings, negotiations and traveling, was getting boring. I was thinking of transitioning the business to get away from it,” I confess what I haven’t even told my business partners.
“And what happened?” She prods further, sipping her wine.
“You.” I say flatly, and she almost chokes.
“Me?”
“Yeah, in Istanbul I felt like I could do this forever. It’s not so much the meetings and the negotiations as much as it is the lack of something afterwards. It was different coming back to the suite knowing you were there,” I look over to her, hoping I’ve explained myself well, but shock and doubt cover her face.
“Logan, you can obviously have your pick of women who would love this,” she waves her hand around before adding, “you had to have considered the option to bring someone else along before.”
“As a matter of fact, my assistant suggested it recently. And you’re right, I have a reputation of being with plenty of women who I think would all be happy to accompany me to the moon if I asked,” I smirk as she smiles at my candidness. “But I’ve never wanted to come home to any of those women, Ava. Only you,” I watch as her cheeks redden, her eyes darting to look anywhere but in my direction.
“Logan, you don’t have to say these things,” she whispers, turning her hazel eyes to me.
“I know. Don’t you think I would have let this all go if I could have? After our trip, I haven’t been able to think of anything but you.” I run my fingers through my hair in exasperation.
This entire process is draining beyond levels. This woman has dominated my thoughts and actions for weeks, yet she still has no idea how much she means to me. After all these years, and the women who have come and gone, I never imagined I’d be convincing someone to be with me the way I have with Ava.
Sure, I convoluted the trust by swindling my way into her life under a false narrative, but everything else has been nothing but the truth, and her doubting that is beyond frustrating.
My words don’t seem to adequately express my thoughts, and as Jane approaches again, this time for our lunch orders, I feel a bit disadvantaged.
“Are you hungry?” I ask Ava, and the look she gives me wakes my cock.
“No, I’m fine,” she answers politely, but the real response was in her eyes – a different type of hunger.
“Maybe later, Jane,” I dismiss her before returning my attention to Ava.
“How do you see this going?” I confront her uneasiness.
“The trip?”
“Sure. The trip, and then after the trip. How do you see it playing out?”
“I don’t know. I thought we were going to spend this time to figure it out. All night I thought of the answer to that question, and the truth is, I don’t know. I feel torn between what I feel and what I think, but it’s difficult to rationalize either stance.”
“How do you feel?” I ask, and she looks at me with a determined look on her face.
“I feel like there could really be something between us, and I want to see where it goes.”
“And what do you think?” I push further, desperate to know what’s running through her mind.
“I think that you put me in a difficult position. Before all of this, I was attracted to you and thought you felt the same way to me, but then you hired me and made me doubt that. It’s been confusing. Overwhelming. Exhausting even. More than anything, I’ve been in a blur, like I can’t make sense of it all,” she rambles a bit.
“Do you trust me?” I ask a question that’s been plaguing me for days.
“Yes,” she sighs and I feel the tension roll off my back before she adds, “but I don’t know if I should.”
A pit forms in my stomach knowing how much she’s fighting her desire, but how can I come between her and her own doubts?
We both gulp our wine as our thoughts drown our words, leaving silence in their place.
Ava being on the trip must mean something. It’s at least indication of some potential she feels exists. Reminding myself that this is a positive sign that there is in fact hope for us, my mind races with ways I can minimize her uncertainty about me.
My reputation was always what I figured would ruin a relationship in my future, but never did it occur to me that it would be my idiotic need to have everything when and where I wanted.
In the back of my mind, I thought there was a possibility my hiring Ava could be romantic, regardless of how self-centered that is. At the end of the day, I refused to take no for an answer, and pursued her to no avail so that we could have a chance.
Besides, I swept her off her feet during the trip. She was smitten in Istanbul, but it seems that she’s forgotten all that for some silly ethics.
“Ava, it’s not like you were my shrink,” I continue to justify the morality of our history together.
“Don’t do that, Logan. You don’t have to discount what I do just to make it fit with what you want.” She rolls her eyes.
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s just that, I needed to tell you all that I did. I’ve never told anyone else that, and I’m not sure I would have done it on a regular date,” I divulge, referring to the few professional sessions we had, as well as the intimate conversations we shared in Turkey and Greece.
“That’s where the ethics get murky, because if you wouldn’t have told me those things normally, it’s kind of like I shouldn’t know.”
“But Ava, I never looked at you as a life coach. I just knew you wouldn’t judge me because you did. It made me comfortable opening up, but I never expected any type of moral squabble afterward. I shocked myself with all I told you. There’s something about you that just feels so natural and welcoming to me. I imagine that’s why you’re so good at what you do, but I need you with me, and by now you’ve learned I don’t back down from a challenge or accept rejection without a fight.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of the tactics of a spoiled brat,” she jokes, and I laugh, having never been called that to my face, although I know it is a frequent insult behind my back.
“So, now we’re name calling?”
“You walked into that one.”
“All right, we can let that go for now. Maybe move to something more lighthearted,” I suggest, refilling our glasses of wine.
“I’d be eternally grateful for a change in subject,” she says, raising her glass in agreement.
“Is there anything you want to do or see in Sydney?” I ask, although I’ve already instructed Rodrick to plan a trip to all the top sites to see. Just like with our last trip, I’ve prepared an additional destination to the itinerary, but I’ll hold that out to the last minute to surprise her.
“I didn’t really get the chance to do any research since I wasn’t given much time to prepare,” she says to me accusatorially.
“No, I gave you plenty of time for research, you just chose to spend it packing the largest suitcase known to humanity,” I bite my lip to hold my laughter. I’ve never seen anyone travel so far with so much luggage. I could tell it was practically bursting at the seams with only Lord knows what.
“And show up without clothes?” she says with a half-smile.
“I’ve already made it clear – they have shops in Sydney, and you can get whatever you want.”
Ava doesn’t respond, and I’m happy. I don’t need her contesting my desire to shower her with gifts again, especially when I already have a few surprises set up for our arrival.
“Why did you ask me on this trip?” she asks, catching me off guard.
“What do you mean?” I stall for time.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’ve already told you, baby. I fucking missed you.” I don’t even try to disguise the longing in my voice, and I don’t care that I’ve referred to her as I did before everything hit the fan.
She knows how I feel about her, and she brought this back up, so it must be a sign that she wants me to make a move.
My heart is racing as my palms sweat, contemplating if I’m reading her signals correctly. My blood is pumping, all headed in one direction as her eyes drop down to my lips for a split second and I’m sure she wants me to kiss her.
Leaning forward, Ava doesn’t meet me halfway, but she also doesn’t pull back. Lingering in front of her soft lips, begging her to lean into me, I close my eyes in anticipation.
Her lips are even softer than I remembered. Quickly deepening the kiss, I slide my tongue softly against hers as she moans in my mouth. Without separating from her, I rise to my feet, bringing her with me.
“Where are we going?” she asks after pulling away.
“To the bedroom,” I answer, nodding to the back of the plane.
“There’s a bedroom?”
“Yeah.” I smile, guiding her as she walks backwards.
“Then why have we been out here all this time?” She sasses, raising up on her toes to kiss me before I can say anything else.