Chapter 46

CARRIE

I love Blake, and he doesn’t love me. That’s all I can think about. My head, shoved into my pillow to soak up tears as they fall, is clouded with these terrible thoughts.

I have been crying all night, and now, all morning. I can’t stop. Not only did I sleep in the spare room last night, but I will have to sleep here until the baby is born. Maybe I should just go home? But if I do that, then I won’t be near Blake, and I can’t pull myself away. I love him too much.

I should have told him everything when I first found out. I should have asked him about my sister and the pregnancy and let him explain his side of the story. If I did, then I would have learned that she was never pregnant, that everything I thought about him was wrong. If I had, I would be in his bed right now, wrapped in his arms.

I think I hear a knock at the door, but I decide that I am just imagining it. Blake would not be coming to talk to me. Odds are, he will avoid me for the rest of the pregnancy and then kick me out the moment the baby is born.

There’s another knock. It’s louder this time.

“Yes?” I call. Perhaps it is Christina coming in to ask me to leave. I do my best to hide the sound of crying as I pull my face from the pillow.

“Carrie, it’s me. Can I come in?” It’s Blake.

I sit up quickly and do the best I can to wipe away my tears and make it look as if I haven’t spent the last twelve hours bawling out my eyes.

“Sure,” I call back. “Come in.”

He opens the door and walks inside. He looks at me, and I can see the pain on his face. It makes my heart skip a little, the idea that this hasn’t been as easy for him as I thought. Clearly, he too has been hurting.

“How are you?” He asks, his voice soft. He walks further into the room and hovers by the end of my bed.

“Miserable,” I say. “How about you?”

“Yeah, I’ve been better.”

“Me too,” I say as I force a smile. “A lot better.”

“Carrie, may I sit down?” He asks.

“Of course.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance. “I’m sorry. I am. I should never have reacted like that last night, and I should have never made you leave the room. And I definitely shouldn’t have implied that you and I were over.”

“You’re sorry?” I ask, unable to hide my surprise. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I’m the one who lied and meant to hurt you.”

“Hey,” he says, and as he does, he puts his hand on my knee. “Don’t, okay. You had your reasons for doing that. And talking about it now isn’t going to change that. But you also said, if I remember correctly, that you changed your mind?”

“I did! I have!” I exclaim. “Seriously. You have no idea how stupid I feel for even thinking of doing that.”

“Hey. What did I just say?” He smiles at me. It’s a warm smile, and I can feel it radiate through my entire body. It gives me energy and life. “We don’t need to talk about it anymore. It’s not important. The only thing that is important is that I love you.”

“You love me?” I ask. I heard the words, but I am scared that I misunderstood. Or that it is a lie, aimed at hurting me.

“Yes, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I say, resting my hand on top of his own.

For a second, the two of us stare at one another. I look into his eyes, and he into mine. I feel him inside of me. I can feel his love enveloping me.

He leans forward. I lean in too and kiss him. It’s a kiss like I have never felt. We have kissed a thousand times. We have had sex almost as many times. We have even made love before. But somehow, this kiss is different.

It’s raw and full of fire. It is both of us saying that we are sorry and both of us accepting that apology.

We kiss and kiss. His hands wrap around my waist and pull me in closer. I shuffle in and wrap my legs around him, straddling him. I press my breasts against his chest and feel his heart beat a million times a minute. I feel his warm breath on me as he kissed down my neck, licks my ear and nibbles me.

His cock stirs beneath me, pressing up between my legs. I move my hips forward and back, rubbing myself on it. It shakes and pulsates with each of my movements.

Raising my hands in the air, I allow for him to remove my shirt. I’m in my pajamas, so I don’t have a bra on. He buries his head in my breasts. He licks my right nipple before sucking the tight bud into his mouth. I undo his shirt and return the favor to him. His right nipple hardens in my mouth. His left stiffens as I pinch it.

His hands are still wrapped around my ass, and he begins to help me grind. Back and forth, I rub myself on him. His dick is so hard. It wants to be free. I move my hand down to his cock and give it a squeeze through his khakis. I unfasten them, and his cock bursts forth.

My hand wraps around the head, stroking it. He groans as I do. I lick my hand and wrap it around his shaft. Up and down, I move my hand. Up and down. He falls onto his back, and I remove his pants. I move both my hands around his thick length. I stroke him. I rub his balls and play with his shaft.

He suddenly sits up, lifts me into the air and lays me down. I raise my ass and allow for him to remove my pajama pants and panties. He takes both my legs and rests them on his shoulders. My breathing increases as I brace myself for what is about to come.

Soft kisses cascade their way down my thighs. They’re wet and give me goosebumps. I shudder with each one, and my body shakes as his lips get closer and closer to my aching core. He pauses just above it. I can feel the hot air dancing off it.

He looks up at me. Our eyes meet. He smiles, and I return it. And he goes down on me.

I moan as his tongue pushes between my lips. I groan as he licks inside of me. I scream as his lips wrap around my clit and sucks. It feels incredible. He sucks and licks, and I scream and moan. I run my hands through his hair, holding him in place. I don’t want him to stop.

But he does. He lifts his head and smiles at me again. He moves himself up to me, leaving me on my back. His hard cock brushes along my leg as he gets closer. He reaches me, and we kiss deeply. His body is pressed against mine, and I can feel him breathing.

He looks me deep in the eyes, holding my stare. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you, too.”

He penetrates me, and I throw my head back and let out a scream. He slides all the way into me, up to the hilt. His hands wrap around my thighs and pull me in. I wrap my legs around him and hold myself there.

And we make love.

It’s slow and intimate. It’s tender and passionate. It’s soft and caring. And it feels perfect.

He holds my eyes as he continues to penetrate me. I don’t blink. I stare into them, into his soul. The sex is incredible. The love making is out of this world. I pull my eyes from his to kiss him deeply, but then fall back and continue to stare.

We come together. We don’t say a word or signal that we are ready. I feel myself coming, and as I do, I feel him coming inside of me. Together, the two of us climax and scream and moan and kiss some more.

Blake rolls from me, heavily out of breath. I snuggle up to him, wrapping myself in his arms. I kiss him on the chest and on the neck. He kisses me on the forehead. I love Blake, and I swear to myself now I will never question his love again.