Chapter 30

CARRIE

Dinner is amazing. Better than that, even. And not just the food, but the company in general.

Las Rambles is a very fancy, very expensive establishment. As Blake led me through it, I had to stop myself from gasping. I’ve been with Blake for a while now, and I still constantly forget just how wealthy he is. And more than that, how much he enjoys spoiling me.

The food arrives, and as we eat, he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he has missed having me around. I’m not sure if he is just saying this, or if he means it.

A part of me really hopes he means it because I have missed him dreadfully, too. Sure, the house is amazing, but it would be nothing without him. It’s his company I have missed, and I am so glad that he feels the same way.

As the dinner draws to a close, I feel myself getting sad. I don’t want the night to end. I’ve been so used to spending the night with Blake that the idea of him leaving actually makes my heart ache.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” I ask, trying my best to sound casual.

“No plans,” he says. He stares at me as he does, and I have to break his gaze as I feel myself blushing.

“Would you like to come back to my place? I have a bottle of wine that I can’t drink now. I’d hate for it to go to waste.”

“Sure thing,” he says with a smile.

It’s a poor excuse, but it has worked. I like him more than I want to admit. I just wish I knew how he feels about me.

***

I open my front door and lead Blake inside. I’m not as embarrassed as I was last week about having him come over. Last week, my place was a mess. It’s usually like that, but after having spent some time at Blake’s, I came to realize that I can’t live like that anymore. The first thing I did when I got home was clean. And now, I can’t believe how much better my place looks.

“Right, wine,” I say as I close the door behind Blake. “I’ll just grab that.”

“No, let me,” he says, walking past me and into the kitchen. “Where are the glasses?”

“In the top cabinet,” I say.

I move to the couch and fall into it, watching Blake the whole time. When I answered the door tonight, I had to work to not gasp. I always forget just how handsome he is, and three days away from him only worked to increase that attraction.

“Ah, a good year,” he jokes as he looks at the cheap bottle of wine.

I laugh to myself as he pours himself a glass. He is so in control and in charge, but at the same time considerate. I saw him in a different light when he was playing with Simon. He was gentle and kind then. I think Blake will make a great father and be an even better role model.

With a glass of wine in hand, Blake falls next to me on the couch. He takes a sip, holding eye contact with me the whole time. I feel my whole body flush. Even now, I am still a little nervous around him.

“I’m glad you came out to dinner,” he says seriously.

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’ve missed having you around.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’ve missed sleeping with you,” he says.

“Yeah, me too—”

He leans forward and kisses me. I kiss him back, and for a moment, the two of us are locked together. I suddenly question his motivation and pull back.

“Wait a minute. I thought we were only doing this for a baby?”

“So?” He asks, keeping his eyes on me. They bore into me, devouring me.

“Well, haven’t we finished that? I mean, isn’t that what last week was for?”

I don’t know why I am even asking. It’s a reflex, if nothing else.

“I don’t know about you, Carrie, but I had a good time sleeping with you. And whether you are pregnant or not, I want to keep doing it. I want to keep seeing you.”

I don’t know what to say. Is that an admission of how he feels about me? Or is it him telling me that he just enjoys the sex?

He smiles, clearly enjoying how nervous I am. He leans forward and kisses me again, and this time I don’t stop.

It feels odd kissing him this time. Usually, when we kiss, it is with a purpose in mind, which is having a baby. But this time, it isn’t hinted at. This time, we both know getting me pregnant is not the reason we are doing this. It’s because we both want to, because we are both attracted to one another, and because we both have feelings for one another.

The kissing becomes deeper, more tender. I climb on top of Blake, and he grips his hands around my waist. Usually, when we have sex, it is all fire and heat. He usually tears my clothes off and lets me have it — hard.

This time it is soft. Romantic even.

He slowly removes my blouse, kissing softly down my neck. He gently slides my skirt off me. He unhooks my bra and moves to kiss my breasts, soft and tenderly.

The whole time, I move my hips back and forth over him. I don’t do it as vigorously as I usually do, and I don’t do it with as much force. It’s a natural movement. A passionate one. It’s making love, not having sex.

I don’t want to taste him in my mouth. And I don’t want to sit on his face. I want him to be inside of me. I want to feel his girth fill me up. I want him to be a part of me, even if it is only for a moment.

I lift up my body, allowing for him to slide his pants and boxers off. He is already hard. His big, fat erection sticks straight up. Usually, I would tease him. Usually, I would play with it, dance around it, and make it seem as if I weren’t going to sit on it. But I don’t do that this time.

I climb on Blake. He wraps his hands around my waist, and he guides me onto him. As he slides inside of me, I moan softly. I tilt my head back, and he kisses my neck. It feels so good, even better than when he’s rough with me.

Once he is inside of me, I begin to move on him. I move slowly, rhythmically. I’m not bouncing up and down as I usually do, but instead, I listen to his breathing and feel his heartbeat. I move to the rhythm of his body. The two of us kiss as I do, and he massages my breasts. It feels incredible and is better than any other time the two of us have had sex.

As the two of us come, we kiss in the moment of climax. We don’t scream or moan together, but lock lips and savor each other’s company. I am so happy that this is the man I am having a baby with. But more than that, I am sure now that he likes me as much as I like him. And after tonight, after this, I like him more than ever.