Chapter 45

BLAKE

I call Ben as soon as I wake up on Saturday. Well, wake up is a relative term. I have never had such a bad night’s sleep. As the sun hits my face and my eyes shoot open, I realize that I may have gotten, at most, two hours of actual sleep.

I have no idea what to do about Carrie. On the one hand, I love her, but on the other, she lied to me and betrayed me. I am at a loss, and that was what I spent the entire night thinking about.

She is in the guest room, and all I want to do is go and talk to her, but I have no idea what I should say. That is why I am calling Ben. I need someone to talk to. Maybe if I can get this mess of swirling thoughts out of my head and in the open, I can start making sense of how I feel. Maybe I can figure out what the hell I’m going to do.

Ben is a father, so he is usually up at the crack of dawn. He answers the phone in his usual cheery manner, and I tell him to meet me at the bar. I don’t ask. I tell. My voice is hard and serious, and Ben has known me for long enough to know not to argue. He tells me he will be there when it opens later this morning.

***

I walk into the bar and spot Ben straight away. It isn’t hard. He is the only other person in there. Seeing me, he waves me over. There are already two beers in front of him. It’s classic Ben. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have a friend like him in my life.

“You look like shit,” he says as I sit down. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I feel like shit, so it’s appropriate,” I say. I take the beer and down half of it in one go. The second half disappears as I take my second mouthful. “One more,” I say to the bartender.

“Okay, obviously something is troubling you,” Ben says. “Tell Uncle Ben what it is.”

So, I do. I tell him everything. I speak for a good twenty minutes, telling him all about Carrie. And not just what happened last night, but what led up to that. I tell him about how we met and the proposal. I tell him about the payment plan, and how I have fallen in love with her. And of course, I tell him about Lyndsey, and then Carrie’s plan to take my baby and run.

“Well, that’s a story,” Ben says as I finish. “You could make a movie out of that. Don’t you run a movie-making company?”

“Funny,” I say into my beer.

“So, what’s the problem?”

I am looking down at my beer, and as I hear his question, I slowly turn to face him. He must be joking. But his expression is serious. As if he truly doesn’t know what the problem is.

“Are you kidding?” I ask. “Were you not just listening?”

“I was. But unlike you, my friend, I saw the whole picture. The forest, not the trees, you might say. I can see things objectively. I can cancel out all the noise, color and drama, and focus on what is important.”

“Which is?”

“That you two love each other. You even said that she told you she loves you, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And you just told me that you love her, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“So, what’s the problem?” He asks, throwing his arms in the air as if trying to exaggerate the point.

“She lied to me. She was going to steal my baby. She was going to use me for my money.”

“Was… is the issue still there. Not anymore. And besides, in Carrie’s defense, she did have some shady intel on you that she thought was real. Can you blame her for being pissed? Also, keep in mind, she thought you were a monster to her sister, and she forgave you anyway. She fell in love with you, regardless of what she mistakenly thought you did. If that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.”

“I guess so,” I say, still unsure.

“And take it from a man who knows personally. Love is tough to come by. Few find it, and many who do usually fuck it up without realizing. They then spend the rest of their life wondering why they are alone. Don’t be that guy.”

“So, you think I should forgive Carrie?” I ask.

Ben is making some good points. And the more he speaks, the more I realize that I didn’t come here to complain, but to have my love confirmed. I do love Carrie. I just needed to see it.

“Of course, you should forgive her. And let’s be honest, you already have.” He winks at me. “But to be clear, I think you two are a little fucked up. You should probably sit down and have a normal conversation about all of this. But we both know this isn’t the end.”

I look at my friend with a newfound sense of respect. He has told me exactly what I need to hear to put things in perspective. His advice just kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life.

I can’t make Carrie leave. I love her, and if I push her away, I would regret it for the rest of my life. And I’ve been focusing on the wrong parts of Carrie’s confessions to me. She told me she loves me. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hear it.