Logan
I couldn’t concentrate, which sucked because I had a two-hour session with one of the gym’s most valued customers. Vivian Braithwaite was a fuck off rich trophy wife that had been my client three times a week since I started years ago.
She was beautiful in that older woman cougar way but the fact that she sold out for money made her almost ugly to me. She was fun and flirty and could’ve had one of those ‘epic’ loves that everyone fucking rabbited on about. Instead she was with a wealthy man that she ‘cared’ about.
The reason I sucked at my job today: Chloe Holland. Bloody girl. She was the only one that was able to make me forget everything but what she was doing to me. Our almost kiss was on repeat in my head. Now she was ignoring me. Yesterday she bailed out of our session with some crappy excuse about a headache. Today she hadn’t answered my calls. I knew I had to give her some time but it was driving me fucking crazy.
“Good,” I said to Vivian. “Five more and then we’ll move to the cross trainer.”
She nodded, lifting the light weights above her head and pursing her lips. “Is there something wrong, darling?” she asked, tightening her manicured fingers around the weight as it began to take its toll on her.
“Everything’s fine, Viv.”
“You’re usually able to hold a conversation and you’ve lost that devilish look in your eye.” With a huff, she lowered her arms and handed me the weights. “I’m a good listener. What’s her name?”
I took the weights to clean them off before putting them away. “Why do you assume there’s a girl involved?”
“There is always a girl involved.”
Of course.
“Her name’s Chloe.”
“Pretty name.”
“You should see the rest then.”
Viv smiled. “What’s the problem? You like her but she doesn’t like you?”
“I’m starting to think that maybe she does like me.”
With a throaty laugh, she playfully swatted my arm. “Then I don’t see a reason for that look on your face.”
You wouldn’t from the outside but as soon as you learnt one massively important piece of information all of a sudden things changed. Viv would go from charming smile to judgemental frown in an instant. Not that I gave a fuck about what other people thought but I was pretty sure Chloe did.
“Things are complicated,” I replied. That was a fairly accurate description of the situation. Fairly understated but accurate nonetheless.
“I understand complicated, darling. You have to work it out if she’s worth the trouble.”
“She is. I worked that one out a long time ago.”
“You’re not sure if she thinks you’re worth the trouble.”
“Bingo.”
“If she believes that she’s crazy. If she’s the one nothing will prevent you being together.”
I’d thought of about ten different comebacks before she’d even finished her sentence. I was shocked that she could say the words and keep a straight face. Viv was hypocrite. She could give the best advice but never listened to it herself.
“Yeah, perhaps. Why don’t you get started on the cross trainer and I’ll bring you a bottle of water over.”
***
If I checked my phone again I was going to punch myself. I wasn’t a teenage girl waiting and hoping her crush would text back. I was a twenty-two year old guy doing that. I was so absorbed I didn’t notice Cassie walking into the room until she sat down beside me.
“How was work?” she asked.
“Alright. You?”
She shrugged. “Same shit, different day.”
Sounded like we both needed a strong drink, only I couldn’t because I was determined to deal with stuff in a way that didn’t end up with my having a raging hangover.
“Has Chlo been round?”
“I don’t think so, I’ve not been in long. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”
“She didn’t come over yesterday and that’s one of your crazy arse exercise days.”
“She wasn’t feeling well.”
Lie. She was avoiding me, again. If it wouldn’t push her further away I’d go over to her house and demand she either forgot about it or, even better, we just fucking got together!
“Oh, okay.” She yawned.
“You not sleeping well?”
“Not really. I have a lot on my mind. The house sold.”
“Yeah? That’s awesome, Cass.”
She didn’t look convinced. “I guess. I mean, it is. It really is. I can’t wait to get my own place and feel like an adult again.” Ouch. “But I hate the idea of having to start over. If I find someone else I like what’s the odds that they’re going to be okay with never having a child of their own?”
“Not every guy is going to let you go because you can’t carry a child, Cass. Rick’s a twat, it has nothing to do with you.”
“Oh, of course, it did, Logan. I don’t blame him for wanting a child and I don’t blame him for that being a deal breaker. He’s to blame for how he went about it but that’s it.”
“Not your fault either. You got the shit end, too.”
“I know. He’s off with his pregnant girlfriend now so he’s fine.”
“You’ll be fine too. Some guy will love you no matter what, Rick wasn’t that guy so thank fuck it’s over before you wasted any more years with the little prick.”
She sighed sharply. “Yeah. In six to eight weeks I should have the money left over from the house, we’ll get about fourteen thousand each so I can start looking for another place to buy. I guess I should get my new start head on and plan something positive for the future.”
“Glad to hear it. You’re only twenty-five, you’ve got time to do whatever you want.”
“I think I’m going to buy somewhere closer to town. Rick wanted a more rural location. This time it’s all my way.”
“Sounds good, Cass. If you need someone to go house hunting with let me know. Don’t take Mum.”
“Oh God, I wouldn’t! She’s the worst.”
Mum gushed about how fabulous everything was so the sales man knew he could get a few more quid out of her. Dad would never let her buy a car by herself anymore; she’d never get anything knocked off the price.
“Thanks, Logan. I’ll start looking when the buyers have had the surveys on ours done so I know they’re serious and hopefully won’t pull out of the sale. How’s your situation going?”
My situation was what people mostly used to refer to my dire financial state. I wasn’t in debt but I was so close to being there when I was drinking.
“Better now. Ten months of not drinking and pissing away everything I had and earned is doing wonders for my savings. Got about five thousand saved so only another seven and I can afford a deposit. I’ll be moved out by spring next year.”
Should’ve been three years ago but I was in a dark place and could just about haul my arse off to work, then to a bar or club for booze and a shag almost every day. I lost my drive and ambition and although I was a couple years behind where I wanted to be I was fucking proud of what I’d achieved in the last ten months.
Cass gave me her proud smile; it was much like Mum’s. “I’m so happy for you, Logan. God, I feel like, although we all still have a little way to go, things are finally looking up for all of us.”
Minus my woman troubles things were.
“So what’s really the deal with you and Chloe?” she asked with a stupid smile.
Fucking reading between the lines sister.
“I’m an idiot, that’s what the deal is.”
“What did you do?”
“I almost kissed her.”
There was no shouting, which no matter how supportive I knew my sister would be I still expected. She didn’t even give me a disapproving glare.
“She was right there, too. There was no screaming at me to get the hell away from her. Chloe wanted it, too, and that’s the problem. You know I’ve had a hard time accepting how I feel about her and trying not to hate myself too much. Chlo is going to be much worse at that than I am. If I was anyone else…”
“But you’re not and that’s fine, Logan. Yes, Chloe will be beating herself up about it but I honestly don’t think it’ll stop you two getting together in the long run. She’s ready to date now but she’s not quite ready to date you yet. Give her time to deal with whatever demons she’s battling over wanting to kiss you.”
“Why does everything have to take time?”
“Instant gratification doesn’t leave you happy for long. If you do everything right away what do you have to look forward to?”
The rest of my life with her. Cass made sense, though.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right. You should talk to her. When she’s hurt or confused or stressed she pulls back and tries to deal with it all on her own.”
“I think talking to her will push her away. What if she’s not ready for that conversation yet?”
“Then don’t have it yet.”
I nodded, tapping my leg. “Yeah. I’m gonna call her house, hopefully she’ll answer that, and act normal.” I ignored Cass snorting at me acting normal and stood up. “Thanks for the chat, loser. House hunting offer stands, just let me know.”
“Thanks yourself, poo poo head.”
Looking over my shoulder, I laughed. “It was Jace you used to call that.”
“Still do,” she replied, “but I get a reaction from you.”
“You’ll be getting a reaction from him, too.”
“Yeah, I bet it’s him that keeps moving my hairbrush, little shit.”
I walked out of the kitchen feeling lighter. Cass was going to be okay, I was going to be okay, Chloe was going to be okay and Jace was a hairbrush moving ghost. All of those things made me grin like an idiot.