Chloe
“Alright, what the piss is going on, Chloe?” Nell snapped, pulling a chair out and sitting down.
What the piss?
I put my fork down; I wasn’t at all hungry anyway.
“Logan called. He tells you he loves you and you leave him hanging, again. What’re you doing, girl? Stop being scared, stop running, and stop hurting the both of you. Seriously, I’m seconds from whacking both of you!”
I almost choked on the lump in my throat. “What am I doing, Nell? I don’t… I don’t know anything anymore. Every time I think it’s going to be okay I feel like I can’t breathe again. It’s so fucking overwhelming, I feel like I’m losing it.”
“You’re starting to sound like him, you know.”
I managed a small laugh.
“Lucky for you though, I’ve figured out what’s really wrong.”
“I was with his brother.”
“Nope,” she replied. “You said before that you were past that. So is everyone else. That’s old news but it’s easier for your confused little mind to focus on. This isn’t about Jace, it’s about Logan.”
“You’ve stopped making sense again, Nell.”
“You and Jace loved each other but it was young and sweet and fairytale-like. Logan’s the real deal. You’re older now, you fell in love with him as a stronger, more passionate, ambitious woman. You’re in love with him and it’s so much more and so much deeper than you’ve felt before and it scares you.”
She should be a shrink.
I glared. “I kind of hate you right now.” She laughed and hooked my plate with her finger, drawing it over to her side of the table. I shoved it the rest of the way. “Have it, I’m not hungry.”
“I wonder why,” she sang in the most annoying voice I’d ever heard. “You going to class or to see Logan?”
I should go to class since it was the start of my final year but I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway. I grabbed my bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good girl.”
***
I rang the doorbell and prayed he wouldn’t slam the door in my face. Things were still tense and it was what I deserved for being such a stupid idiot.
The first thing I saw when he opened the door was how tired he looked. “Chlo,” he whispered.
“Hi.”
He gave a small nod. Well, this was getting awkward pretty fast. Neither of us knew exactly how to act as friends, especially since we both wanted more.
“Can I come in?”
He opened the door a little more. “You know you can.”
I walked past, ignoring the flutter of excitement as my arm brushed his. Shit, I really loved him. Nell was right; it was so much deeper. It was painfully intense and all consuming.
I stopped by the sofa and turned around. “I realised something earlier and while I was coming over here I thought about it so much I haven’t really had time to actually work out what I’m going to say so I’ll just get it out there… I want to be with you, Logan. I’m ready and I promise nothing is going to hold me back or make me run from you again.” Why can’t I say I love you?
He stood still, slowly taking in my words in but he didn’t move. I expected more than a statue but I was probably getting what I deserved.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I said when silence had stretched to almost a minute.
He took a deep breath and the pain was back in his eyes. Fuck, he was going to tell me to leave. My stomach turned.
“I don’t know what to say, Chloe. You’ve done this before, you’ve been in and then ran so many times I kinda feel like I need to go into protective mode around you. I can’t let you run from me again.”
My eyes stung. “So that means you’re not going to let me back in.” Nope, couldn’t blame him. I’d been so back and forth lately that I wouldn’t trust me either. Funny, or not really funny, thing was, I did now trust myself where he was concerned.
“It means I need to know for sure, sweetheart,” he said, walking closer. I felt my tears roll over the edge when he called me sweetheart again.
He was close enough for me to reach him now so I did. I stretched my arms out and placed my hands on his stomach. He closed his eyes and I heard a sharp intake of breath. I ran my hands up his chest and stepped closer.
“I’m right here, Logan. I’m ready to be yours, to deal with whatever we have to deal with together. I want this more than anything and I swear I will never run again. Please, give me a second chance.”
His eyes flicked open as I took the final step, bringing us flush with each other. My arms continued up until they were around his neck. I could smell him and it was doing nothing to help me stay calm until I knew if he even could give me another chance.
“No more running.”
I shook my head. “I promise I will never run from you again.”
He groaned and pressed his forehead to mine. “This is going to work, Chloe.”
“I know it is.” I was damn determined, no matter what happened. “I’ve missed you so much.”
With closed eyes and a boyish grin, he replied, “Back atcha.”
Pressing his lips against mine in a much needed hot and heavy kiss that had me clinging to him and wrapping my legs around his waist, he carried us to what I assumed was the sofa.
I was suddenly on my back and Logan was devouring my mouth and tangling his hands in my hair. I returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm and emotion, loving the feeling of having his weight pressing me into the cushions below us.
This was where I was supposed to be. Not being around him was hard but at least it taught me that I never wanted us to be apart again. I was ready for our sunset.
He let us up for air right when I was feeling lightheaded and laid beside me. I curled into him, laying my head on his shoulder.
“I really am sorry, Logan, I’ve been the biggest idiot.”
“You were scared,” he replied.
“I was. I didn’t even really realise how much and that it I could get past it until Nell said.”
“Remind me to buy her a drink.”
I smiled and burrowed closer. “How dumb could I be to not know why I was running?” He still didn’t know the real reason I was running because I couldn’t say those three, terrifying little words.
“There’s been a lot, Chlo. Your emotions were all over the place, everything got blurred and the easiest thing to focus on was guilt, but the important thing is that you found your way back to me. I’d rather it happened like this than you forcing yourself to stay and it causing more problems. You had to know why you were running before we could move forward.”
“You’re so understanding.”
“It’s understandable. Over the last seven years I’ve wanted to run a few times and I did leave for a while when I took those three weeks off. No one can force you to realise something.”
“Nell did.”
“She just told you what you couldn’t get your head around. Wanting you messed me up for a while, too. It’s hard to understand the problem when you’re that close and painfully easy for others to see.”
“I guess.”
“Seriously, don’t beat yourself up over this. We’re good now. If you ever feel like it’s too much again—”
“I won’t,” I said, cutting him off. “I’m in this one hundred per cent, Logan.” But telling him I loved him was still stuck in my throat and I think it was because I wanted to say it when everything had calmed down. I didn’t want him to think I was only saying it to convince him I wasn’t going anywhere. When I told him how I felt I wanted him to know that it was because he was everything and that I wasn’t afraid anymore. Or I was just a big baby and hoping he’d say it again first.
He smiled, rolling half on top of me.
“I promise you, I want this.”
“You don’t have to convince me, I believe you, Chlo.”
“But I want you to be sure that I—”
He shook his head, eyes gleaming. “Just kiss me, sweetheart.”
Gripping the back of his head, I pulled him down all the way and for pretty much the first time I took full control over the kiss.