Chloe
I slammed the front door and my legs gave out. “Chloe!” Mum said, rushing to my side. She dropped to her knees. “What’s wrong?” Lifting my chin, she checked every inch of my face.
“Jace,” I whispered, staring off into the distance. My mind hadn’t caught up and I was still struggling to accept that he wasn’t dead. He was in Logan’s sodding kitchen!
“Oh, honey,” she said.
She thought I was just upset. I shook my head. “No. No, it’s not that. It’s not guilt or I don’t… He’s not… Jace isn’t dead.”
“What? No, Chloe, are you okay? Has something happened?”
Why wasn’t she believing me?
“Mum, he’s back. He’s… God, he’s there now. In the kitchen. Jace never died. He didn’t die and I…” I fell in love with his brother.
“I don’t understand, Chloe. How is he back? Love, he died.”
She thought I was crazy. I could see the way she looked at me that she was terrified I was going insane.
“Witness Protection,” I whispered. “He saw the bombers.” I said the words but they still didn’t make complete sense to me.
Mum’s mouth popped open audibly. “I don’t… I can’t believe it. Oh, honey.”
Wrapped in her arms, I closed my eyes and tried to wrap my head around what was going on. I wasn’t dreaming. I’d dreamt that he walked back through the door millions of times and this was nothing like that. For one, we leapt into each other’s arms. There was no leaping. There was just shock and more shock.
“I need to go to bed, Mum,” I said.
“What?”
Breaking out of her grip, I pushed myself to my feet with trembling hands. I felt cold and exhausted. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep. Not that I’d be able to sleep. I wasn’t that lucky.
“Okay,” she said, momentarily stunned. Rising to her feet too, she brushed my tears away. I was crying? “What do you need? I should call Julia.”
Julia was in a worse state than me; there was no way she’d be able to hold a phone call.
“I need to go to bed,” I repeated and walked off.
How I made it upstairs I had no clue. But I was tucked up in bed, staring at nothing in particular. Jace was alive. This whole time I’d been heartbroken and fighting to get through the day he’d been alive. How could he stay away and let us think he was dead?
How could he not love me enough to stop me suffering?
I heard the front door open and the hushed voices of my parents as my mum undoubtedly told Dad all about Jace. I didn’t know if she’d spoken to Julia or Daryl. She checked in often but left with a sigh when I didn’t respond. I just needed to not think or do anything until I knew what to think or do.
My phone rang until I switched it off. Logan would know to stay away for a little while but I wasn’t sure how long he’d give me. I wasn’t really sure how long I’d need. Maybe there wasn’t enough time. Yesterday everything was perfect and I was looking forward to my future with Logan and now everything was a mess again.
I curled up tighter and sobbed into my pillow until my throat was raw.
***
“Chloe!” Nell said as she burst through my bedroom door. When I’d heard thudding up the stairs I was worried and hopeful at the same time. “Your mum called. I don’t even know what to say. Jace is back? He’s not…?”
“Not dead, that’s right,” I replied.
“You okay?” she asked, sitting down on the bed.
“Not at all. I don’t know what to do. Last night I finally told Logan I love him and I wake up to Jace standing in the kitchen. This whole time, Nell. He’s been alive while I was dying and never once thought to let us know he was okay. I fell in love with his brother for fuck sake!”
“Jesus. So he was in witness protection?”
“Until sentencing was over.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. I had a headache just thinking about everything. “I don’t know if I want to hug him or kill him. Burying Jace and getting over him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I didn’t need to do any of it.”
“What did Logan say?”
I shrugged. “I couldn’t really focus on anything other than my dead boyfriend standing beside my current boyfriend. The Scott’s will be thrilled to have him back though, of course.”
She frowned. “You’re not?”
“No, I am. Shit, of course I’m glad he’s alive. It’s all I’ve wanted since the second I thought he died but he let me think he was gone for over three years.”
“I doubt he wanted that Chloe.”
“He still did it. I would’ve called or done something.”
“Would you have waited for him if you knew?”
“Yes.”
“And Logan wouldn’t have happened.”
“I guess not.” Of course not.
“Do you still want Jace?”
“No,” I whispered. “I will always love Jace but I’m not in love with him anymore. I moved on…to Logan. God, this is such a mess, Nell, I don’t know what to do. Tell me what I should do.”
She opened and closed her mouth a few times before shrugging. “I don’t know, girl. This shit only happens in soaps. I keep trying to think what would happen on EastEnders but you probably shouldn’t use those as—”
“Okay,” I said, cutting her ramble off. “Shit. He’s not dead.” I put my hands over my face and sobbed.
“Shh, don’t cry,” Nell said. “We’ll figure this out.”
“How?” I wiped my eyes, even though it was useless, they were replaced straight away. “Jace is back, he hates me and Logan, and Logan probably thinks I’ve done one again. Why did I have to fall for him, Nell?”
“You can’t help that,” she replied, her eyes distant, “no one can.”
“There something you want to talk about?”
“Right now I think we should concentrate on you, hun.”
“But if you’re going through something…”
“Nothing I can’t handle, I swear. We’ll talk about it as soon as we get this…”
“Mess?” I offered.
She grimaced. “Well, yeah, as soon as we get this mess sorted out. Talk me through what happened, you told Logan you love him and the next morning Jace is back.”
“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Jace knows about us. I thought he was going to punch Logan.”
“I don’t think that’d get him anywhere.”
“Logan wouldn’t retaliate. Anyway that’s not the point. Jace is alive and I love his brother. He left three years ago thinking he was protecting us and planning for the day he got to come back and what does he walk into?”
“Wow, that’s rough.”
“Yes, thanks for stating the obvious.” I groaned and squeezed her hand. “Sorry, I don’t mean to take it out on you.”
“It’s okay. What’re you going to do now?”
“I have no idea. Talk to Jace, I guess, but what do I say? I’m still so angry with him for letting us all believe he was dead. Every night I cried myself to sleep because I missed him. I didn’t have to go through any of that.”
“I can’t believe he did that. He must have known how heartbroken you and his whole family would’ve been. His parents buried their son for Christ sake!”
I shrugged. “He was doing the right thing.” One phone call could have saved so much pain but he chose to let us suffer.