chapter 12

closer

Ronnie comes over an hour later with bags of takeout from a local Chinese place. She insisted on getting the food, stating it’d be hard for me to go anywhere with a teething baby to take care of. I insisted on paying her back for it because I didn’t want to seem like some asshole who’d mooch off her. I’ve never been the type to take advantage of someone’s good nature. Even when I was high as fuck all the time—I always managed to pay people back and do some semblance of the right thing.

Ronnie giggles as soon as she sees my exhausted face. “You look like you’re starving. Everything go okay at work today?”

I nod, then eagerly jog to the kitchen to grab some drinks, plates, and utensils before joining her on the couch in front of my television—which has become our normal spot. We’ve eaten a few times together at the dinner table, but most of the time I like the casual ambiance of sitting with food in front of the television after a long day at work. I want to take her somewhere nice… Hell, I’d like to take her any place at all, even if that meant the local pizza spot or a chain restaurant nearby. Since we’ve become friends, we haven’t been out to eat once. I’m always too tired and we’re both such homebodies, so we always liked staying in. But I can’t use that as an excuse anymore. If I want her to see me in a different light, I’ve got to start doing all that romantic shit. Which is too bad because I wouldn’t know “romantic” if it punched me in the face.

I want to give her sunshine and fucking rainbows, and hearts and flowers, but I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve heard of guys visiting their girl at work and bringing her coffee or lunch; I would start there, except Ronnie works from home. I could always stop by a coffee shop on the way home and pick her up something. She’d probably be impressed.

“What has you so lost in thought?” I hear Ronnie tease me, causing me to peer up from my box of kung pao chicken to look at her.

“It’s nothing,” I say, hoping I don’t look as embarrassed as I feel. I look at Grey, who’s rocking away in his baby gym and smile, wondering if I could incorporate him into my plan to “woo” Ronnie. Woo? Really, Trevor? When have you ever used that word?

 “Grey stood up today,” I state, smoothly changing the subject. “He pulled himself up off the floor and stood up for a few seconds before falling right back down on his ass.”

Ronnie practically chokes on her fried rice as she laughs. “That’s amazing, Trev! Maybe he’ll do it for me later? That’s so impressive!”

I sit up straighter, feeling proud of her assessment of my little boy. “I think he’s been afraid of trying to do it since he fell, but I’m sure he’ll forget all that and try again soon enough.” She smiles at this and continues to eat her food. “Hey, I wanted to ask you about something coming up next month…” I begin, enjoying the way she instantly perks up in her seat. “It’s my mother’s birthday the thirteenth and she’s having this big party and I was wondering if you’d like to go with me?” I pause, running a hand through my hair in a nervous gesture. “I just don’t want to go alone, you know? All my parents’ friends will be hounding me all night if I’m by myself.” I know it doesn’t sound like a romantic gesture in the least, but I also want her there because I feel calmer when she’s at my side. So, I tell her that. “I really want you there with me, Ronnie. It’ll be hell without you.”

She smiles, finally seeming convinced. “I’ll go with you, Trev. Don’t sweat it.” She pauses to look at Grey. “Is Grey coming with us?”

“Yeah, I think my mother will want the chance to show him off to her friends.”

“Well, I’m sure we’re in for a fun night,” Ronnie says with a coy grin. Hell, if she only knew. We’re in for a night, all right. But I’m not sure how fun it’ll be.

Ronnie’s phone buzzes in her pocket and she quickly whips it out to read a text. She rolls her eyes as she looks at the screen and puts her phone face down on the couch.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing,” she says with an annoyed shake of her head. “It’s just my sister, Eden. She thinks she’s a matchmaker. I love her, but sometimes she drives me crazy. She thinks since she’s older, she should try to help me out—but sometimes I wish she’d just take a hint and back off.”

“What do you mean ‘matchmaker’?” I ask, wanting to kick myself for the nervousness that is creeping into my voice. Her sister’s trying to set her up with someone? Hell, I hope she doesn’t succeed in finding someone for Ronnie because I’m someone for Ronnie. I’m man enough for her. Whether her sister is aware of that or not.

“Eden’s trying to set me up on a blind date with one of her friends.” Oh, fuck no. That’s not going to happen. “I tried telling her I don’t feel comfortable with a blind date. I wouldn’t be so opposed if it was an acquaintance, but if things go sour between me and one of her friends it’s going to be awkward.”

It’s going to be especially awkward when I bust in and kick Eden’s friend’s ass for trying to get with my girl. Ronnie my not know it yet because I only realized it myself a little bit ago—but she’s going to be mine one day. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day she’ll be my girl. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and watch her try to find happiness with some other guy. She doesn’t need other men. She just needs me.

“What are you going to tell your sister?”

She shrugs and takes a bite of her eggroll. “I’m just going to tell her to forget about it for now. I’m not really looking to date right now. I just got my career rolling and I want to ride that wave for a while. Eden’s always been so codependent, she doesn’t understand what it’s like to actually enjoy being alone. She went from being a daddy’s girl, to having multiple boyfriends, to finding the right guy and getting hitched at twenty-two. She’s freaking out because I’m twenty-five years old and don’t even have a boyfriend.” She finally exhales after stringing all of her sentences together and smiles at me. “Sorry, I’m rambling. I just always feel like I have to defend all of my life choices to her.”

“It’s okay,” I laugh, scooping up a fork full of fried rice off of her place and scarfing down before I continue to say, “I like your rambling.”

“Well, that’s why you’re easily my best friend.”

Best friend. If I play my cards right, she won’t be seeing me as her “best friend” for much longer.

 

 

The first step in my master plan to “woo” my beautiful neighbor is bringing her a drink from her favorite coffee shop. I’d been smiling like a fool all day just thinking about the surprised look on her gorgeous face when I hand her the drink. I know it’s not a grand gesture or any shit like that, but I’ve always heard that it’s the “little things” that count. It’s just a way to show her that I appreciate and care about her. I pick up a Vanilla Hazelnut Latte on the way home—it’s the only coffee drink I really know since I’ve seen her with a cardboard cup off countless fucking times—and I can’t help but feel a little embarrassed on the way to our apartment complex. How long will it take her to notice how I feel about her, and how will I react when she finally does know?

Part of me knows I’ll be fucking relieved, but I know another part of me is fucking nervous. I don’t want to screw things up with her. Things with her just feel so right and the thought of losing her over something stupid is terrifying for me. Hell, I want some nicotine just thinking about it. Every time I stress out I want to inhale a pack of cigarettes and forget about all my problems. The smooth rich taste of Marlboros and the nice buzz I get after a six pack of beer is like getting a hug from your oldest and dearest friend. Too bad those days are long gone. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about that shit constantly because I do. I think about it all the fucking time. Luckily, I have some amazing people to distract me from acting out on my desires. I need Grey and Ronnie more than I care to admit.

I run by my parents to pick up Grey, explaining to my dad that I’ve got to leave straight-away. He gives me a knowing grin but doesn’t ask if it’s “because of a girl,” although, I can tell he wants to. I’m jittery the entire way back and the kid’s music I play for Grey on the way doesn’t help my nerves one bit. “You think she’ll think me bringing her, her favorite coffee drink is cute, little man?” I ask, earning only a giggle in return. I take a calming breath as we finally arrive home and decide to play it all off as though I’m doing her a friendly favor. If she wants to read more into it… she’s more than welcome to. “Come on Grey, let’s go surprise her.” He’s babbling in my arms as I lope up the steps and Ronnie must hear us coming because she opens the door before I get the chance to knock.

She looks flustered, causing my smile to instantly falter. “I brought you that coffee drink you like,” I say with a small smile, holding the cardboard cup out to her to take.

A nervous laugh escapes her lips and she runs a hand through her curly hair before taking the cup. “Thanks, Trev.” She gives me a long once over, before looking nervous once again. Is something wrong? Is there some fucker I need to beat up for her?

“Ronnie, what is it?” I ask, sounding exasperated.

“I let Eden talk me into a date tonight,” she says quickly, as if the words were vomiting out of her pretty mouth.

What the hell? She’s going on a date with some shithead? I guess I can’t be mad, I barely know her, and I haven’t staked my claim… but what the hell? Can’t she see that I like her? “And you want to go? I thought you were opposed to the whole ‘blind date’ thing?”

“I am,” she says with a groan, stepping away from the door and gesturing for me to enter her apartment. She takes a sip of her drink and walks back to her bedroom, intending for Grey and me to follow her. Well, this is just fucking great. The coffee I got her is going to give her plenty of energy to hang out with some other man. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. “Eden just has a way of talking you into things,” she continues to explain from her closet. I look around, realizing this is the first time I’ve ever seen her bedroom. She has books everywhere; not only on her multiple bookshelves, but her overflow of books are stacked haphazardly on the floor. Her room is organized though, with art prints hung on the walls, and a computer desk in the far corner. Her bed is nice—there’s more than enough room for two. “I should’ve told her no,” she continues, before my thoughts can get too dirty, “but she was just so persistent and guilted me into it. Does this look okay?” she asks, as she finally steps out of her closet in a navy dress that fits her like a glove.

It looks fucking fantastic, but I’m not going to tell her that. She doesn’t need to be wearing a sexy dress like that to go on a date with another guy. I wonder if she has something more frumpy and dull. Maybe a dress that goes down past her knees? I’ve never been jealous before, and I can safely say that the feeling is unsettling. I never cared if other men looked at any of the women I used to “date.” Probably because I never cared about those women. They weren’t mine, so why would I care if other men looked? Ronnie, however, is a different matter entirely. The thought of any man looking at her makes my blood boil.

“I don’t really like that dress,” I finally say.

Her brows crease together in confusion and she crosses her arms in front of her, pushing her tits up and together. Cocking her head to the side, she asks, “What’s wrong with it? It’s just a navy dress.”

“It’s too…” What’s the right word? Sexy, perhaps? “It’s just too much,” I finally decide on. “Maybe you can put a sweater over it?”

She gives me a dubious look. “It’s not even September yet. It’s not that cold out, Trev.”

“Well, this is your first date and you wouldn’t want to give the guy the wrong idea.”

Now she looks angry. “What ‘wrong idea’ would I be giving him, Trevor?” she asks. Fuck, I love when she uses my full name when she’s upset.

“Well, if you don’t want him to expect to come home with you, maybe you should wear something more conservative.”

“What a typical man thing to say!” she explodes, looking angry and sexy at the same time. Hell, she’s just making me want her more and more. “Men shouldn’t expect anything on a date, regardless of what a woman wears. We don’t owe a man sex just because he decided to buy us dinner.”

“I’m not saying that,” I say, looking down at Grey to find him wide-eyed as he looks back and forth between Ronnie and me. I place him safely on the center of her bed before continuing, “All I’m saying is this guy could be an asshole, and as an asshole, he could expect stuff like that. You don’t know him. As you said earlier, it’s a blind date.”

“Well, he’s probably not an asshole if he’s friends with my sister,” she says before heading back into her closet.

I sigh and take a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling Grey into my arms as I wait for her to show me another outfit. I can’t believe how this day has turned out. I started off thinking I would ease into showing her I care about her, and it’s morphed into me helping her pick out an outfit for a date like one of her fucking girlfriends. What does she expect me to do? Provide her with moral support for a date I don’t want her to go on? How can I stop her? I could always man up and ask her out myself.

I watch her try on a few more outfits, growing angrier by the second. I’m not angry at her for going on a date—I’m angry at myself for being such a pussy. I’m brooding over something that hasn’t happened yet and don’t want to take the steps necessary to stop her. Part of me thinks she’s teasing me with all this fashion show shit. As if putting on the dresses were her way of saying, “You don’t like it? Do something about it!”

“What do you think about this one?” she asks, as she comes out in a short black dress and does a twirl for me. What a tease.

“Well it’s black, that’s for sure,” I say sarcastically. Grey gives her a smile of approval, before he returns to trying to place his foot in his mouth. I chuckle at his attempt and bring him to rest on my shoulder. “So, why are you asking me about this, anyway? Do I look like a man who knows anything about fashion?” I ask, gesturing to my worn black T-shirt and ripped jeans. “Can’t Eden give you advice on this girly crap?”

“Well, I wanted a man’s opinion,” she replies with a blush.

The tension in my chest dissipates as I see a shy smile appear on my girl’s face. “Ronnie, you know you’re beautiful. Anything you wear is going to look just fine.”

She looks at me for a long moment, as if she were seeing me for the very first time before returning to her walk-in closet.

I can’t contain myself any longer. I can’t sit idly by while another man pursues what’s mine. I place Grey back on the center of the bed and walk into her closet. She’s shocked at first, and I’m stunned momentarily by her exposed flesh, which she’s only making a half-assed attempt to cover. Her tits are nearly popping out of her navy-blue bra and I can see the hint of lace panties before I force myself to look her in the eyes. They’re wide and filled with excitement and lust. I may not be an expert when it comes to women, but I know lust when I see it.

“Ronnie, I can’t let you go on this date tonight.”

“Why? Why does my dating life matter to you?”

“It doesn’t,” I lie, feeling angry, turned on, and embarrassed all at once. “You’re my friend and I’m looking out for you.”

“Bullshit,” she says with a small smile. “It’s more than just that.”

Even if she doesn’t want to date me—I want to protect her. She doesn’t even know who this douchebag is, and she wants to go on a date with him? That’s like a hundred shades of messed up. I’ve never had a female friend before, but I feel like I’d be this protective of them even if I didn’t like them romantically. I’ve seen the horrible stuff some guys can do, and I don’t want anything to happen to Ronnie.

“Why are you even going on this date tonight?”

“He seems nice,” she shrugs, but I know she’s baiting me. “He comes highly recommended by Eden.”

As she slips into another dress, I grab hold of one of her arms to stop her. “Don’t play with me.”

“Are you looking out for me as your best friend?” she challenges.

“No, Ronnie, I’m not.” I take a step forward, trapping her in the corner of the closet. “If you want to go on a date, I’ll take you out.”

She tries to hide a smile but fails. “A real date?”

“Well, we could just fake it and see how it goes,” I tease her.

She snorts and hits my chest. “No, Trevor. I think you should try asking me out again.”

“Cancel your date tonight, and I’ll take you out.”

Ronnie gives me a knowing grin that has me wondering if this was her plan all along. “Okay, Trev. I’ll go out with you. But only because you begged me.”

“I didn’t beg you,” I say, rolling my eyes at her.

“Well, I won’t tell anyone about it, it will be our little secret,” she teases me before pushing me out of her closet. “Now give me a chance to get ready, will you? I don’t need you breathing down all of the time.”

This girl has me wrapped around her little finger.

Ronnie comes out in a cotton dress that shows off her stems and the top of her tits, as well as a sweater, draped over her arm, to keep her warm as we venture out into the cool, end of summer night. I want to kiss her. It just feels like such a natural thing to do, but I resist.

“You look beautiful,” I comment as I leisurely rake my eyes over her curvy frame. She beams at me and bounces over to the bed to pick up Grey. “Do you mind if I run over to my apartment to change? I don’t want to wear this to dinner,” I say, gesturing the clothes I had worn to work.

“That’s fine, but hurry back. I’m starving,” she says as she bounces Grey in her arms.

I quickly cross the hall to my apartment and wash up before changing into a fresh pair of jeans and a black button up shirt. It’s by far the nicest one I have; it’s the one I wore to every job interview since it covered up the majority of my tattoos. I roll the sleeves up to my forearms to show off my rose tattoo which is intertwined with black and gray illustrations which stop at my wrists. I run a comb through my unruly hair, but I’m quick to give up, because I know taming my hair tonight is going to be a lost cause. Women love that “sex hair” look anyway, so what’s the use?

Instead of letting myself back into Ronnie’s apartment, I knock on her door. I wait for her to answer it, as if I were picking her up for a real date. I want to go through all the motions, as silly as they may be. I really care for Ronnie and I can’t fuck this up. She’s already way out of my league, so I’m lucky I’m getting a date with her. Unfortunately, I couldn’t plan ahead so I could take her someplace really nice. With my limited budget, we’re going to have to go someplace that’s around ten dollars a person max. I feel cheap, but I’ve got a baby to care for and I can’t spend my money as frivolously as I once did. No more splurging on alcohol and tattoos, and no more piercing everything I can get pierced. I wonder what Ronnie will think when she sees the extent of my piercings and tattoos. Hell, I’m acting like we’re definitely going to fuck one day.

Before I can chastise myself a moment longer, Ronnie opens the door looking flushed and absolutely stunning. Grey squeals as soon as he sees me and reaches for me as though he hadn’t just seen me moments before. “You ready for our date?” I ask as we walk towards the flight of stairs.

“I guess it is too late to back out,” she teases. “Have you thought about where’d you like to go?”

“I thought I’d figure it out on the way. I’m sure there’s plenty of places around town.”

 

 

While there are plenty of places to choose from—most of them are packed this time of night. Everyone’s getting off work and eating out with their families, which leads me to choose pizza place on the edge of town. It’s not a fancy Italian restaurant or someplace men usually take women on dates, but it’s nice and well within my price range, and Ronnie doesn’t seem to mind. Hell, she’s such a down-to-earth girl, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind anything I chose. She seems more interested in my company than where I take her.              

After Grey screamed in his high chair for several minutes, I finally relented and allowed him to sit on my lap. Here I am on my first ever proper date and I’ve got a baby in my arms. If anyone told me this was how this shit would go down a few years ago, I would’ve laughed in their face. I would’ve imagined taking the girl out to dinner, maybe to a movie or something like that before taking her right back to my place. Since she would’ve been my date, I’d have taken her to my bed instead of bagging her on the couch like I’ve done with so many other girls. While that had been the image of the perfect date in my mind—none of that seems good enough for Ronnie. She deserves so much more than any of the ideas I could ever come up with. Even as she sits across from me now, I can scarcely believe she’s actually here with me.

“So, is this how you envisioned the night going?” I tease her as Grey babbles loudly from my lap.

She blushes and is very quiet as she plays with the napkin on her lap. “Yes,” she says, giving me a coy, little reply.

Did she plan this? Was this her idea all along? I stare at her in shock. This girl just hustled me and I had no idea. I can’t describe how much that turns me on. If this wasn’t our first date—and my nephew wasn’t sitting on my lap—I would pull her out to my truck and nail her into next week. “So, did the guy take it pretty hard when you canceled?” I want to know that this guy is real and she hadn’t been completely messing with me.

“He was hoping to reschedule for another time, but I left him hanging,” she tells me with a wink. 

“I’m sure he’s heartbroken.”

“I’m sure we wouldn’t have been right together.”

“Why’s that? Is there someone else in your life that you see yourself with?” I ask, giving her my signature cocky grin.

Our waitress interrupts us before she can answer, causing my entire mood to deflate for a moment. As the waitress goes over her usual spiel, I watch Ronnie, trying to read her expression to give me some clue to what she was about to say. As soon as the waitress leaves with our order, Ronnie remains silent, not offering up a single answer. Maybe she wants me to be the one to make the first move and tell her about my feelings? However, I don’t know what the fuck I feel. I can barely put what I feel into words. I know I care about her more than I’ve ever cared about any woman before—but is it love? Do I love Ronnie? Fuck, I barely know the girl and I’m already asking myself this question. What is she doing to me?

“This is nice, Trev. I never thought you’d ask me out.”

Hell, I’d thought I’d been rather flirtatious with her. I’m constantly checking her out and looking at her tits far too many times to indicate it was only a friendship I’m after. Maybe my feelings for her aren’t as apparent as I imagined. I know I haven’t really opened up to her about my past… Hell, I’ve avoided talking about anything deep because I didn’t want to reopen all of my wounds. She might know I’m lusting for her, but she might’ve not picked up on much else.

“I guess I just needed you to tease me until I caved.”

Ronnie throws her head back with a loud laugh, causing her curls to bounce around her lovely face. She looks like a fucking angel. I watch her continue to giggle as if I made the world’s greatest joke, and suddenly, all of my suspicions are confirmed. My cock-tease of a neighbor definitely planned this. Her date might’ve been legitimate—but the taunting was absolutely purposeful.

“Well, I love going on dates, but I had a feeling the night was going to be boring. Why would I want to go out with some stranger when I could go out with you?”

I smile at her words; they make me feel ten feet fucking tall. It’s as if this is her way of saying she likes me. Neither of us are ready to say the words out loud, but we show each other our feelings in our own ways. I’ve always believed that actions speak louder than words—and her words mixed with her actions are making me feel like she’s as into me as I’m into her. “Good point, Ronnie. Why would you want to go out with someone else when you have me?”

She blushes and looks away with a smile. She’s fucking smitten, I can definitely tell. The waitress serves us our sodas and I grab Grey’s formula from his diaper bag and begin to feed him as Ronnie tells me all about her workload. I’ve noted how she’s changed the subject, but I don’t push her to speak on her feelings any further. She’s got her boundaries and I’ve got mine. Besides, tonight is supposed to be fun for her and if venting about her job as an editor is fun—then I’m all ears.

“The workload I’ve had is a nightmare,” Ronnie says as she sips on her soda. “Of course, it doesn’t help that I’ve got a neighbor I always want to hang out with.”

“You’re blaming me for your slacking?” I ask incredulously, smiling at her from across the table.

“I’m not blaming you… I’m just saying you’re quite the distraction.”

“I’ve been told that a few times.” I wink at her.

“And you’re proud of that? A girl has got to earn a living, Trev.”

“Well, maybe one day I can take care of you and you won’t have to work.” Where the hell did that come from?

“You want to take care of me, Trev? It’s the twenty-first century—so I think I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can. You just deserve some time to relax every now and then. Men don’t mind carrying more of a work load.”

She rolls her eyes at me but I can tell she’s content with my statement. And while I don’t know where the fuck that statement actually came from, at least she knows I’m thinking about a future. A future which heavily involves her.

Our food arrives and we fall into an easy conversation about literature and music—two things which I loved before I found many different forms of self-medication. I can’t remember the last time I talked about Kesey, Bukowski, or Palahniuk, but it’s always freeing to discuss something you once loved. I used to read all the time before I sold all my books to a second-hand bookstore for drug money. I’d love to repurchase some of my favorites; maybe it’ll even impress Ronnie when she sees I’ve got a small library. The only books I’ve got in my apartment right now are children’s books for Grey.

“Well, I’ve always loved Bukowski. Ham on Rye was a nice escape from some of the British classics I would always read. When I was in college I took every British Literature course they offered because I’ve been obsessed with Austen and the Brontë sisters since I was a girl. I’ve broken many of my book’s spines and I think I’ve purchased Pride and Prejudice at least ten different times.”

“I’ve never read any of that old stuff,” I admit, wishing I’d taken another literature class in high school. “I’ve read older science fiction, but that’s about it.”

“Well, I’ve never read any of that. So, I guess we could educate each other then.”

I’ve never educated anyone on anything. Well, that’s not entirely true. One time I taught someone how to roll a joint. That’s about as far as my “teaching expertise” has gone. It was a useful skill at the time, but it’d be cool to teach someone something more… academic. Maybe Ronnie’s just looking for another reason to hang out with me. Not that she needs one. I’d be cool watching paint dry as long as it was with her.

Grey begins to grow restless. Now that he’s starting to stand up, he constantly wants to be on the move. He can only sit for so long before he gets antsy. He begins kicking his legs, wanting down, making me wonder if I should take him outside for some fresh air before he has a full-blown tantrum in the middle of this pizza joint.

“Aw, poor guy,” Ronnie says, leaning over the table—providing me with an amazing view of her cleavage—as she gives Grey a cute pout. “Is it past his bedtime?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about this,” I apologize as I rock Grey in my arms in an effort to tame his impending tantrum. I flag down the waitress and indicate that I want the check, and with a flirtatious grin, she’s more than happy to oblige.

“It’s completely fine,” she says with a wave of her hand. “I love having Greyson around. He’s so well tempered.” She looks at his red face and continues, “Well, most of the time. Let’s pay the check and get this adorable little guy home.”

“Can you hold him for a moment?” I ask as our check comes.

Ronnie is eager, as always, to take him off my hands. I’m glad she loves Grey so much because he and I are definitely a packaged deal now. If someone isn’t fond of Greyson, then they can’t be in my life. I want him to be surrounded with love and positivity; Ronnie gives him plenty of that. She’s fucking perfect for him—and she’s fucking perfect for me.

I pay the bill, then let Ronnie carry Grey out to my truck. He’s so calm in her arms. I wish she could just stay the night at my apartment to keep his tantrum at bay. Well, I’d also like her to stay over and take care of me. But I know it’s far too early to get her into bed. Since he’s been teething his crying is constant. I keep his crib beside my bed at night because I know he’ll wake-up multiple times from the pain caused by his gums.

“Thanks for tonight, Trev. That was a lot more fun than a stuffy dinner with a stranger,” Ronnie teases as I open up the passenger door of the truck cab for her.

“Well, I really appreciate that. What an amazing compliment,” I say sarcastically.

As she looks up at me with the streetlight shining down on her lovely face, I want nothing more than to bend down and press my lips against hers. I wonder if they’re as soft as they look.

“Tonight, was amazing, Trev. I had a lot of fun. Just like I always do when I’m with you.”

I smile at her and it takes all the strength inside of me to walk away without touching and kissing her the way I want to. I take Grey from her arms and strap him safely into his car seat as she slides into her spot in the front. I wonder if she wanted me to kiss her. With the way she was looking at me, I couldn’t really tell. I’ve never done shit the proper way with girls and now I’m wondering if I truly don’t know how. I’m just so used to fucking them first and getting to know them afterward—if I even bothered with that step at all. I’ve never wanted to make a girl fall for me. If Dean were here, he’d be able to give me some advice. He married his high school sweetheart, so he obviously knew what he was doing. He’d have said something like, “Man, stop being so nervous. She’s probably just as anxious as you are. Just take her out and don’t chase her off by banging her too soon.” The memory of him is always bittersweet. It causes me to smile for a moment, as I think of the friendship we used to share; then the reality that he’s gone hits me like a freight train. If he were here, I know he would’ve liked Ronnie. He could always tell which people were the “good ones.” I think he would’ve picked Ronnie for me if I hadn’t picked her myself.