CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lucas
“Please talk to me,” I begged, “I know what you’re going through, and I think we should talk it out. I’m sorry, I should have taken the time to explain more thoroughly. We should’ve discussed your boundaries before we started. I should’ve understood your limits better. Please, I don’t want to have this discussion through a door. I want to see your face, Ava.” The only answer was the sound of shower water splashing against what I knew was her tender ass. I’d really fucked up.
I’d never had loving sex. I’d worship a woman’s body, send her to the moon sexually and dominate the fuck out of her, but holding and touching were out of bounds.
Ava wasn’t from my walk of life. Not just the money and the affluence, but her fortitude and strength were fashioned differently. She was a survivor, a real survivor, not just a debutante playing sex slave.
What I’d done, by not detailing my actions in advance, meant I’d treated her like a slut who wanted me to hurt her. The image flashed through my mind of my hand ricocheting off her smooth ass.
I dropped my head against the closed door. My behavior must have crushed Ava, and she’d barely taken her protective armor off.
“When you’re ready, please come out. I’ll be waiting.” My heart sank as I stepped away from the door. If she wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t give me another chance, this would never work.
Why was I so desperate for her to talk to me? Because of the damn competition? Winning, running my uncle’s company paled in comparison to making sure Ava was alright. All I wanted was to make sure I hadn’t hurt her too badly.
The fact was, I had no business running a company with so many souls depending on me to make the right decisions for their well-being. I’d never cared enough to be a good shepherd of it. I was about business and accumulating wealth, had never been about the people behind the business.
I was a selfish son of a bitch.
I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I agreed to this competition. I also had a pretty good sense of the kind of woman she was right from the start. And I’d done what I wanted to anyway, hoping she’d play on my team.
If I was being honest, I wanted her to love it, love the dominance and the rough fucking. That’s who I was. Those things — rough, dominance — were my signature no matter what walk of life I found myself in. In bed, I made the women I was with come over and over. Women loved the dark bite marks on their breasts, felt honored to possess the marks that proved they were mine. They’d feel me for the next week and come back for more. I was good at this. I knew how to cause pain and pleasure in such an exciting way, the women I’d been with worshiped me.
The sad thing was, what she experienced tonight wasn’t even BDSM — it was just a warm up. And there were so many dimensions to this girl. Given the right training, I thought she’d enjoy some elements of the lifestyle.
Plainly, I hadn’t thought about what I was doing. From the minute she walked into the kitchen, making that incredible meal, wearing that insanely gorgeous dress, I wanted to dominate her and have her under my power. Once I had her under my power, she would never be more incredible than she already was. I’d never admit it to her, but I felt threatened. Nothing I had was going to be enough to keep her interest. To win her.
She wasn’t impressed by money or power. Looks were mildly interesting to her, but if she wanted those all she had to do was look in a mirror. She wanted and needed love. The one thing I didn’t have to offer. Partnership was something I’d never even considered.
In my life, partnership was something I didn’t understand. It was the furthest thing from my perspective of the world. Yet partnership was what had been demanded of me from the very first challenge. I shook my head as I thought of my uncle.
I blew this challenge. I failed.
While she was in the bathroom, I called down to our guide and had Arnica gel and some other things delivered to our room. When she was ready, I’d slather it on the places I’d hurt, and it would give her some ease.
The force of my spankings were meant to last, so no amount of gel would erase them, but I could give her some comfort so at least she could sleep. When the gel, ice, and ice cream were delivered, I went to the other bathroom and showered.
I was waiting for her in an armchair in the bedroom when she came out of the bathroom wearing a fuzzy white robe. She looked rosy-cheeked, scrubbed clean, and as if she’d spent at least some of the time crying.
My heart constricted. I was almost too nervous to offer the first words, as it was more than likely she was about to tell me she was going home. She didn’t need this, and I knew it.
If she stayed, I definitely owed her some triage and a massage. What I feared the most, however, was the fact that this wasn’t even the worst of it. I’d designed challenges that were going to kill it for us. There was no way she’d stay. Tonight was just a prelude, nothing more. A taste test to see what she was made of.
I couldn’t remember ever being this nervous. Before tonight, I was in command of every aspect of my life. In this moment though, I felt in command of nothing.
I’d gotten everything I ever wanted by being a hard-ass. I’d worked hard, started my company, succeeded. However, standing right here before me, looking tiny in the fuzzy robe was my greatest challenge, the highest mountain I’d ever climb — Ava. And the last thing she needed me to be was a hard-ass.
She bit down on her lip as she took the seat across from me. Her discomfort showed in the way she swallowed and fidgeted with her fingers.
I was truly a monster.
“I’m sorry…” she said, her gaze on the floor.
Ah fuck, she’s leaving.
My business instincts kicked in.
“No, I’m the one… I’m sorry. I ordered some Arnica — it’ll help with the redness, any bruising.” I was a mess. I could lord over any woman I chose, but the minute something was at stake… Ava had me in knots.
Her pink cheeks reddened more. “It’s who you are. You’ve never lied to me about that. I was wrong to expect… to expect my own reaction to be different.” Her gaze flicked up to my face then to her lap.
“Do you mind if I ask, what you did expect?”
“I just, I’ve always associated inflicting pain, especially a man inflicting pain, with anger and—”
I held my hand out, palm facing her. That was all she needed to say. If she wasn’t into the lifestyle and didn’t crave domination, it was just abuse.
“We need to discuss your experience and how that fits in with what I’ve known, sexually. I think we can bridge this if we communicate.” I stood slowly and went to my knees in front of her chair, not touching her. “I’m going to wager a peace offering, for the moment. This by no means negates your experience, nor does it solve our problem, it’s just… well, an apology.”
Her eyes were huge as she hesitated.
“I ordered us some ice cream, and I’d like to tend to you, please.” If she refused, I’d lost. And suddenly this game had a lot more at stake than a family legacy.
“That sounds nice,” she whispered in a raspy voice.
“I’ll need to undress you, are you comfortable with that?” I felt like I’d turned to stone as I awaited her answer. Usually, by this time in the evening, the women were playing the thank-you-master part as I rewarded them with soothing balms and salves. Most of them, despite the rough treatment and sore patches, were ready for a second or third go at it.
This was different. This was Ava. I’d tie myself to the chair before touching her sexually again tonight.
Hesitating for only a second, she simply rose, slid the robe off her shoulders and stood before me naked. Her pale skin was flawless but for the red marks on her buttocks, and her breasts that were darkened with discolorations.
Guilt for my overzealous treatment of her burned in my gut.
“Let’s start with your breasts.” I cleared my throat. “Lay down on the edge of the bed, lengthwise.”
She did as I asked, and laid there stiff and full of tension.
“Try to breathe, this might feel a little cold at first.” I stroked her breast lovingly as I administered the gel to her ravaged nipples. I could tell they were tender to the touch by the way she squirmed when I applied the oily liquid to her skin.
I made sure to gently rub her tender flesh until all of the Arnica was absorbed, then gently guided her onto her stomach and administered it to her ass. Here, the marks weren’t as bad, just faded pink orbs, but I lovingly smoothed the gel over her heated flesh. When I was done, I kissed both of her ass cheeks, helped her off the bed and handed her back the robe.
“I really need a leash.” When her eyes widened, I realized my meaning would have sounded like I meant the leash for her. I slapped my hand across my forehead. “For me, not for—”
She laughed. “I really need to do some research.” She was making an attempt at humor, with a spark in her eyes that told me she might be leaning toward a little adventure. That was good. All might not be totally lost.
I exhaled, my chest loosening. “Do you like chocolate chip ice cream?”
“I love it.” She smiled, and I guided her to the kitchen.
I could only hope Mason was having the same challenges with Isabella I was having with Ava. But Isabella seemed like a real firecracker.
Ava and Isabella were strong women in different ways. Ava would be the one to survive a disaster and help those around her get out alive. Isabella would take on the force that caused the tragedy in the first place. Ava was reactionary while Isabella seemed revolutionary. Neither were women my cousin and I — given our attitudes — should be hooked up with.
In fact, quite the reverse.
It was as if Uncle had chosen the wrong matches on purpose.
The thought gave me pause. Had he gotten to a point in his old age that he’d screw up something this big?
Isabella would have been the better match for me, personality wise. Except I wasn’t really attracted to her, and she didn’t have the spark that drew me to Ava. I guessed that was what the old cliché meant, we’d met our matches.
Bravo, Uncle Harv.