CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ava
It wasn’t that skiing was a huge fear of mine. Every four years, when the Winter Olympics came on, grandma and grandpa had switched the channel, much to my dismay. I’d loved watching the ice skaters and skiers, but Grandpa’d had a bad skiing accident in his youth. So bad, apparently, he’d almost not recovered. Maybe I’d developed a fear of the sport by osmosis.
Lucas was perfect though, a perfect teacher and also perfect to hold on to from behind when I lost my balance. Which I did a lot. Lucas and I were in perfect sync going down the smaller hills. In fact, it felt fantastic to hold on to his waist as he guided us down the slopes. But as soon as my fear faded, I was handed ski poles and had to use my leg muscles to stay upright. As we gained speed, it was nice to feel the cold air on my face.
But being perched above the black diamond run wasn’t fun. It was steep, slick, and terrifying. I wondered what it felt like to hyperventilate in this altitude, because my head was suddenly all floaty, my breath short.
Lucas must have sensed my discomfort because he put his arm around me and squeezed before stepping onto the skis. It gave me a sense of comfort I hadn’t been expecting. Still, here, at the top of the mountain, about to plunge down a slope named for something that described darkness and death, my heart was exploding out of my chest.
I had to get a grip.
“Now, this isn’t any different from what we’ve just done. Remember, I’ve been on this run a hundred times. All you have to do is stay on the skis and hold on to me. I know you’ve got this.” He smiled so beautifully I actually believed him.
“Right… got it.” I held out my pole in a silent salute. Inside, I was chanting every Hindu mantra I could remember.
I helped him ski us to the launch, wishing my feet weren’t strapped so I could climb him like a baby bear would a tree. We’d barely reached the mark when a buzzer shrieked, and without any warning, he shoved off with his poles, and we plummeted down to what I was sure was our imminent death.
My mind went white with fear.
The trees whizzed past us as small clouds of snow flew in our wake. It was as if we were flying, weightless almost. Cutting into a sharp turn as we sped down the mountain, I gave up using my poles and clenched my fingers in his jacket so hard my knuckles ached.
I wished the ride would be over, wished I could close my eyes so my heart wouldn’t pound so hard. But adrenaline was pumping through my system, and part of me wanted to let go and face both the thrill and terror of this adventure.
After a while, a kind of euphoria took over. I must’ve been flooded with so many natural chemicals, it gave me a feeling like I was floating above the Earth.
I began to let myself move with his movements, even though we had to be flying at the speed of light. Tree branches sliced past my peripheral view as we angled in and dipped around obstacles. Most of me was numb, and it felt like we’d be soaring down the mountain at break-neck speeds for the rest of my life.
And then, when I could see the bottom in the distance, I recognized what I was feeling. It was exhilaration. Suddenly, I loved this — never wanted it to end. Always wanted to be on these skis, working with Lucas as one.
In seconds, it was over. We whizzed to a stop under a perfect, peaceful blue sky.
“Yes!” Lucas shouted, twisting to shake me by the shoulders.
“Oh thank god. Thank you, Jesus, Buddha, Santa Claus, Saint Valentine. We’re alive!” I exaggerated as I unclipped from the skis. Looking back up at the mountain we’d survived, I was in awe. It’d been fun in the end, but I was pretty sure no one could talk me into doing it again.
After I was free from the skis, Lucas unclipped and shook the snow out of his hair. I was so excited, I hugged Lucas and kissed him right on the mouth, his lips deliciously cold from the ride. He scooped me into his arms and lengthened the kiss, gliding his tongue along mine just enough to make me want more. Then he gently set me back down.
“So, how did you like it?” He thumped his fist on his chest, still exhilarated.
“I didn’t need a medic!” I threw my fist into the air in triumph.
“Ready to go again?” He handed me a water bottle that had been waiting for us at the bottom and took a sip from his own.
“What? No! No, I don’t want to go again.” I couldn’t keep myself from looking at him like he’d gone completely batshit crazy.
“Let’s do it again. We lagged a little in the middle. I can’t imagine our time was that great.” He put his water bottle back and picked up the skis.
“That was slow?” I croaked with disbelief.
“Hydrate and let’s go again.” He was like a little kid who’d just conquered his first roller coaster.
I hesitantly drank water and prepared myself for another round.
On the chairlift, his excitement was infectious. “I’m so proud of you, Ava. You did it. This next time will be so much easier, I promise. And since I know you’ll be okay, maybe this time I can hit some of those moguls I avoided.”
From what I’d gathered, moguls were like snowy speedbumps whose mission in life was to rattle out your teeth or make you twist your skis into a splintered pile. Sure, let’s hit some moguls. Great.
We hit the slope again. But this time the now familiar sickening jump of my heart from my chest into my stomach only lasted for a few hundred yards. Surprisingly, Lucas was right — I did enjoy myself more the second time. While I wouldn’t be so bold as to use the word fun, I didn’t feel like I was going to vomit, even when we bopped over the mogul. Big improvement over my initial run.
When we skied over the finish line this time, Lucas seemed more comfortable. Maybe our time was better.
“You’re turning into quite a ski partner,” Lucas said with a surprisingly loving look. “Trusting me to lead is making all the difference. I wouldn’t let you get hurt, or hurt you. I want you to remember that. That was pretty impressive for your first day.”
“You’re getting at something, with the trust thing.” My insides tightened as I wondered what he had planned. I wanted to know more of what his sex life entailed, but I didn’t know how to tell him. Hey, sexy, why don’t you take me to the next level in pain slash sex? Right.
“You ready for one last run?” His face was boyish and full of glee.
“You’re on crack, right? You smoked some crack while I was in the bathroom this morning?” Oh hell no, I wasn’t going down black death run a third time, even if I did sort of enjoy it. I wasn’t out of my mind, and I knew that third time wasn’t always the charm. It was just pushing your luck.
“Just one more time. Please, for me. I want to hit the big mogul, and I bet we can shave off another minute, maybe two. All you have to do this time is lean forward more, so we can go faster.”
“Faster?!” He really thought I was going to say yes to that? So delusional.
His enthralled eyes smiled into mine, and I found myself wishing he would always look at me like that. They reminded me of smoke covering up a fire that was always burning. Maybe I was the delusional one.
“I know if you say yes, it’ll be for me and not for this competition. I love that about you, you’re a giver. But, I want you to enjoy this. Skiing is one of my favorite things on earth, and I want to give you one more chance to see the fun in it. So, one day when we’re skiing this slope, you can say this was the day you fell in love with… the sport.”
All of a sudden this was about us? In the future? Meaning, after the competition? The ground tilted, and I felt like gravity was pressing me down and I was full of helium at the same time.
Whoa… way too much to take in. But all of a sudden, skiing down death alley seemed a lot easier to deal with.
“Okay, one last run. Just say something nice at my funeral.” I took a big swig of water, exaggerating my movements as if what he’d asked was monumental and I was building myself up.
“How about I say something nice about you at dinner, instead, because I really appreciate you doing this for me.” Wow, who was this guy all of a sudden?
On the chairlift for hopefully the last time, I decided to heed Lucas’s words. I did need to try and enjoy this. Not that I planned to ever do it again, but since this potentially was my last time — if he didn’t sweet talk me into going again — I decided to give having fun a try.
I reached out and took Lucas’s hand. “Thanks for taking such good care of me… today and um, last night.” The freezing cold air between us heated as if it had received a high voltage charge.
He looked guilty for a second, then winked, then we were at the top.
Low and behold, that last run was fun. I watched the scenery whiz by, leaned in more so we got more speed. We did the big mogul, which was okay, only I was pretty sure I left my stomach behind. Not at all bad, considering.
When we flew over the finish line this time, we were both elated. After unstrapping, I leaped at Lucas and caught him around the neck, hanging on.
“That was our best time yet. I don’t think we could do better!” He lifted me into the air and twirled me around. “That was awesome!”
In his arms, my body was turning into complete mush, which was incredible. Even more incredible than the “rough ride.”
I could only hope that the challenge being announced at lunch would allow me to show him just how awesome it had been.