CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Maddie
It was still very dark when I finally gave up on trying to sleep and crept from Xander’s bed, pulling my robe over the little sleeping shorts and tank that had quickly become one of my favorites. It was a little after five in the morning. Sunrise would be in a half hour or so. I would make a cup of tea and watch it paint the sky with its greeting.
Blowing Xander’s sleeping form a kiss, I closed his door softly before heading down the hallway. Stopping by the sunroom, I peeked in at CeeCee. She stood immediately and gave me a little whine, a clear indication that she needed to go outside. Hooking up her leash, I tapped in the code to unarm the security system and took her to the patch of grass at the side of the house. It was still wet from the rain showers during the night.
Grrrr.
Startled because I’d never heard the sweet spirited animal growl before, I peered into the darkness, trying to see what she saw. There was no movement, no sound, but when she growled again, the hair on my arms lifted, making me shiver. Making me afraid.
“Come on, sweet girl, finish up,” I told her, but she continued to stare at something I couldn’t see.
Grrrr.
“Let’s go.” I tugged the leash and was thrilled when the dog squatted and peed quickly, but her ears were laid back on her head, and she suddenly seemed as anxious to get back inside as me. The second she was done, I picked her up and broke into a run, my bare feet slipping on the wet grass. Taking the dozen steps two at a time, I nearly stumbled over the stone pyramid Kylian created in my rush to get inside.
With the door closed firmly behind me, I blew out a breath and immediately started to feel silly about my overreaction. I hugged the dog to my chest and unclipped the leash. But instead of hurrying back to her puppies, she stood with her nose pressed to the glass.
Grrrr.
I watched, waited, then like a miracle, she relaxed, her eyes resuming their normal and upright position on her sweet head. She stood sentry for a few more moments, then looked up at me, giving me the dog equivalent of a shrug. One more look outside, and she relaxed more fully before trotting, her nails clicking on the wood floor, back to her little family.
Relieved but still shaken, I reset the alarm and poured water into the kettle to boil. It had probably been some animal prowling about. With our luck, it was probably some stray cat that would deliver a dozen kittens tomorrow. I’d clearly overreacted.
But had I?
Even now, standing in the kitchen, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. I felt exposed. Of course, the entire back of the house was essentially a solid sheet of glass. But where before it had been wonderful to have such open views of the beach and ocean, now, I felt like a fish in a bowl, waiting for something or someone to tap, tap, tap on the glass.
Telling myself to stop being silly, I lifted the kettle from the stove just before it started to whistle. Pouring the water into a mug, I dumped in some honey, stirring until it fully dissolved. Selecting an herbal brew from the variety of tea bags, I ducked it into the water, letting the familiar task calm me. Or at least attempt to.
Still feeling exposed, I decided that I was wound too tight to be comfortable on the deck, so I wandered into the far corner of the living room, then kept going until I was in Xander’s office. Spotting his iPad, I took it off the charger, and headed back to the living room. Curling into the oversized corner chair, I pulled a soft throw over my legs.
Tapping in Xander’s passcode, I went to my recipe bookmark, intent on finding us something new to try for dinner. But as I searched, the recipes made me think of Franz and my mother and home.
Opening a new tab, I typed in my mother’s name — Jacqueline Birgitta, Queen of Aldcliff.
Her regal formal portrait appeared first, then other photos of her dressed in head to toe black. For my funeral, I knew.
It had been close to a week since I’d last allowed myself to look through the news, and had been startled to see, despite the prince’s insistence that I was alive, my family gathered by the royal mausoleum located on the abbey grounds. Mama must have insisted.
More photographs had been added to the collection since I last looked. I scrolled through them, looking at each face in the small crowd. I was glad my mother had managed to have a private event and not be forced to host dignitaries for days.
Of course, I was only the fifth daughter, I thought with a bitterness that surprised me. I doubted there had been much of a fuss made over the specifics.
But still… I enlarged the screen and examined my father’s face. He looked genuinely sad. In another, he dabbed a handkerchief to his eyes. A part of me wondered if it was for show, and I could almost hear the publicity team reminding him to at least shed one tear.
It was terrible of me think it, but I couldn’t help myself.
I flipped through the photo slideshow, not to be morbid, but so that I could glimpse my entire family together again. Mama and Papa, my living grandparents, uncles and aunts, sisters and brothers. And finally, my nieces and nephews.
It was sad that I had to die to feel loved.
Or if not love, then a level of caring that I hadn’t experienced before.
Well… I hadn’t experienced before now.
My stomach twisted as I thought of last night, of how Xander had deliberately stroked those positive affirmations into my body. Physically. Mentally. Almost spiritually.
Love.
He said that I was loved.
I was glad that he didn’t see my face as he said it. The word that had triggered his orgasm had triggered my worry.
Could love born of lies be real? Would the weight of untruths keep it from soaring, making it impossible to maintain the altitude necessary to navigate relationship plunges and ascents?
I looked at the iPad again. Looked into the faces of my family, my past.
Create your own future, but never, ever speak of your past, of this night or where you came from. To anyone. Ever.
It was wise advice, I knew.
But it freed and shackled me simultaneously. It was so confusing.
Swiping my thumb over the glass, I came face-to-face with Prince Vitalievich. Those dark eyes stared at me, into me. That cruel set of his mouth. I shivered and swiped the screen, only for him to be there again. This time with a headline that startled me.
Massive Reward for Missing Princess.
Not dead. Missing. Adrenaline flooded my system.
With shaky fingers, I tapped the screen and stared, unbelieving, as the prince continued to insist that I was alive, going so far as to shake his fist at the camera. My heart beat harder as I read the amount he was willing to pay for any information on my whereabouts.
Why?
My mind screamed the word. What would he gain from it?
His pride?
If he discovered me, would he shove me in front of cameras, yelling, “See! I told you!”
I was already shaking my head even as I said, “No,” out loud, heard it whisper across the quiet room. He would never allow the world to know he had a runaway bride. It would be far too humiliating.
So… what would he do?
Staring into his nearly black eyes, I thought of two options. One, he could tell the world that I’d been kidnapped, and with his wealth and influence would be able to set it up to make it look like one. My stomach churned. Would that include killing my “kidnapper?” Would that be part of his vengeance on me? I wouldn’t put it past him.
My mind whirled as bile surged into my throat.
The second option could be that he would find me then simply steal me back, hide me away. He had used the reward as bait with no intention of paying his helper. They would never have to know I’d been recovered, and the prince might even pretend to hunt for me while I was shackled in some cell that could never be found.
With that type of reward, no stone would be left unturned. I would be hunted to the end of the Earth… risking the lives of anyone who helped me.
“No,” I whispered. “Please don’t let this be so.”
Would God be so very cruel as to let me escape, then as I had my first taste of freedom take everything away?
I covered my face with my hands. Yes, he could be that very cruel.
If thousands could die from a shift in the Earth’s crust or the enormous wave that followed… why did I think I was so different? More deserving? I knew the answer. I wasn’t.
Lowering my hands, I thought through my options. They were so very limited, my brain processed them in seconds. Not them. It. I had one option if I wanted to keep Xander and the children safe.
I had to leave.
And I had to do it now. This morning.
Woman to woman, Maddie. Your roots are starting to show. You might want to touch them up.
Danielle Ford knew. Or maybe she only suspected, which was the same thing. One phone call to the “Find Madeleina” hotline was all it would take.
Pushing to my feet, I tossed the iPad down on the chair. Practically running to my bedroom, I barely noticed that it was growing lighter outside. I had no time to look.
Tears streamed down my face as I pulled my suitcase from the closet. It didn’t take long to pack everything I owned and change into a pair of shorts, tank, and lightweight cardigan that felt like a warm hug as I slipped it on. Except the toiletries that were in Xander’s bathroom, I was done. I’d have to leave them. There was no other choice.
I was sobbing uncontrollably as I zipped up the case and found a pen and paper in the nightstand. The words blurred as I wrote the most difficult letter of my life. Even if I tried to explain, they still wouldn’t understand, so I didn’t try. Instead, I kept it simple…
Xander,
I’m so sorry, but I must go. Thank you from the farthest depths of my soul for bringing me into your life, giving me a home and love. I will cherish this time with you forever. Please understand that I would never leave if I had any other choice. I love you.
Kylian and Kenzie,
You’ve brought me so much joy. I will miss your faces, miss being able to watch you grow. Please take care of CeeCee and take care of each other. I love you each very much. And remember to build your house from the stones others throw at you.
It was done. There was no other reason to linger.
Picking up the bedside phone, I called for a taxi and was assured one would arrive within the quarter hour. I’d meet it by the road.
Pulling my purse strap onto my shoulder, I grabbed the suitcase, picking it up instead of rolling it so it wouldn’t make noise. My legs were like a combination of water and lead, making it difficult to walk. I walked anyway. I had to. Yet another escape, but this time not for me. I was doing this for them.
As I stepped into the living area, I felt him before I saw him. The electricity of the room changed, I felt it on my skin. Wearing only boxers, his hair stood straight up in the air. He was so very beautiful, and he stole my breath just as he did when I first saw him that day in Central Park.
As he looked from my face to the suitcase in my hand, he was the picture of confusion. Anger. Pain.
“Where are you going?”
The tears began again, refusing to be stopped.
He came closer, reaching for me but tentative. We’d come full circle. He’d looked at me that same way at the park. Like I was a wild animal he hoped to capture.
“Where are you going?” he asked again, but I still couldn’t speak. I couldn’t explain. I just needed to leave. Escape. Run away from him.
But he took the suitcase from my hand, set it down beside him, then took the bag from my shoulder and added it to the pile.
Then I was in his arms, sobbing so hard I thought I might break. I couldn’t breathe, think. I just clung to him as I ached.
He soothed, his lips against my hair, his hands stroking up and down my back.
“You can’t go,” he said. “I won’t let you. I love you.” He held me at arm’s length then, looked into my eyes. “You can’t tell me you don’t love me too.”
Still unable to speak, I just shook my head. I couldn’t tell him that at all.
“Then why? Did I scare you last night?”
I was getting dizzy from trying to say no without speaking. I grasped at his arms to hold steady. I swallowed hard, sniffed, tried to clear my throat, then finally settled on speaking through the emotion. “I-I’m not who you think I am.”
His brow knit together. “I don’t care.”
I blinked. I expected a hundred questions, not that simple statement. “You must.”
“I don’t.”
“You don’t understand. I could be putting you in a great deal of danger.”
That got his attention. He searched my face. “How?”
I’m sorry, Mama.
I had to tell him. He had the right to know. What he did with the information was all on him, but I could walk away knowing I did the right thing.
It all came spilling out of me in a rush, like a dam that had grown tired of holding back the water. When it finally broke… chaos.
He let me go, stepped away as I spoke. He paced, raked his hands through his hair, pulled at his beard. But he didn’t interrupt me. Not once.
I was so exhausted when I finished my story, I sank down onto the closest chair and watched his feet as he strode back and forth across the room.
“I saw that newscast,” he mumbled. “I saw your picture. I didn’t connect it. Why didn’t I connect it?”
I said nothing. There was nothing else to say.
He stopped in front of me, went to his knees. Took my face between his hands, used his thumbs to dry my tears.
“Don’t go. We’ll figure this out, but I can’t let you go. Not when I just found you.”
“It’s not safe.”
“Then you’ll go public.”
“What?”
“You’ll go public, Madalyn. Madeleina. Whoever you are. I’ll hire a shit ton of bodyguards. We’ll talk to the American Embassy first. My lawyers. I’ll find an immigration attorney. Whatever. Then we’ll schedule a massive press conference and you’ll tell your story. The truth is always best. And that prince bastard won’t be able to touch you. You’ll be free. Free to be with me and the kids.”
It wasn’t that easy.
“My mother. She risked herself.”
He shrugged. “So? What will your father do? Behead her?”
I stared at him. “No.” But it was a good question. What would Papa actually do? Now that Xander had asked, I realized that Papa’s bark might very well be worse than his bite. Even though I was their child, I knew very little of their relationship or how they behaved with each other behind closed doors.
Maybe Mama had only feared the prince and not my father. I wasn’t sure.
Something deep and long buried began to loosen inside me. “Do you think this might actually work?”
Xander smiled and took my hands in his. “Of course it will. You’re a princess after all. Don’t they all get happy ever afters?”
Not all. I thought of Grace. Diane. Others.
But maybe, just maybe, I could have that. Could I be a lucky one?
Maybe I could have the man of my dreams. Love his children. Make more with him one day.
I was buoyed by the thought.
Yes. I could escape Prince Vitalievich’s vile clutches. By going public, as Xander called it, I ripped the secrecy away, exposed the truth to the light.
And I’d have Xander beside me, helping me, holding my hand.
But we had to hurry. I felt the urgency of our situation down in my bones.
“Can we do this today?” I asked, looking at him hopefully.
“Of course. I’ll start making the calls right away.”
I smiled. Just as I had begun to think I’d never smile again, one blossomed on my face. I felt it take up residence there.
Grrrr.
The smile slid from my face.
Xander looked at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”
Grrrr.
It was already too late.