CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Ava
A week went by.
Then two.
Though the competition was canceled after Harvey’s “episode,” a check had been delivered for the full amount of the competition win to both Isabella and me. Lucy had called, and I’d spoken with Harvey.
But still no Lucas.
I told myself that it was for the best. That he was more than I could handle. He would never change. He wasn’t my type. That we had no future anyway.
But the truth was, I couldn’t get my balance. I craved hearing his voice, feeling his touch, having him tie me up if that’s what he wanted.
The only thing that kept me sane was staying busy, never giving myself time to think. To that end, I’d needed to find a space to live, and my payout from the contest gave me many options.
My new apartment was beautiful. Spacious. Empty.
Every time I sat down in front of my new laptop, my fingers turned into traitors and googled his name.
He’d been busy too. News stories told of how he’d taken on the CEO position overseeing his uncle’s darker business undertakings — the website and magazines that could be considered off-color. Mason was in the news too. He’d been elected as CEO of the fashion mags and Gentlemen’s Review. Together, they formed a partnership that carried on what their uncle had envisioned.
I was glad, even though I was still pissed off.
Harvey hadn’t had a damn heart attack. I still wasn’t sure what that was about. A part of me cursed myself for leaving the hospital so abruptly without learning Harv’s intent. Or what Lucas thought about it.
I knew the older man was okay. I’d seen paparazzi photos of him and Lucy relaxing on a beach in the French Riviera. Damn that man. He was a leacher and completely in love with Lucy, I could tell.
At least someone was happy.
As for me, I’d been putting all my energy into looking for possible locations in which I could start my fashion design business. To my surprise and hers, Sylvia was helping me, and my former roommate had actually been a huge help. She’d changed a bit since I moved out of our old apartment. She’d dropped a few piercings and was dressing less like a punk rocker and more like a chic New Yorker. We’d found a new kind of ground for our friendship, and I’d actually missed her crazy ways. So much so, I hired her as my very first employee.
I wanted a place where I could oversee the whole operation in one location, from design to finished product in the storefront. That was hard to find, and after the fifth viewing, I headed home for dinner for one, trying not to look too long at the Valentine advertisements plastered all over the store windows.
It was Saint Valentine’s Day. So what? I’d never cared before. I’d call my sister, fix a salad… My stomach growled as I greeted the doorman of my new building, an older man who was a bit of a grandfatherly figure.
“Evening, miss.” Phil’s kind brown eyes held a hint of worry. “There’s a surprise waiting for you outside your door. I was a bit hesitant to send it up, but I’d been assured that—” He cleared his throat. “That is, if you don’t want it, just holler and I’ll come right up, haul it back down immediately, ma’am.”
“A delivery? I’m sure it’s fine. I’ve ordered quite a few things for the apartment.”
“You better get up there, make sure it’s… the right one. I think maybe it is.” He winked, but I was too tired, and my head too scrambled with floorplans to wonder why he would say such a thing.
The elevator took me up to the eighth floor, and I stepped out, fishing in my purse for my keys. At the door, my eyes landed not on a package, but long legs encased in sleek pants that matched a sleek suit jacket that made Lucas’s blue eyes blaze so bright, my nose started burning.
“What—”
He hopped up, and my arms were suddenly full of two dozen roses, the hall filling with their heavenly scent.
“Happy almost Valentine’s Day.” His voice was as deep as I remembered, a bit more raw now, I thought. “I know it’s not much, not after what I put you through, what Unc put you through, but I’d like to talk.”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“Please.” Lucas’s eyes were more sincere than I’d ever seen them.
“Alright.” I didn’t want him to see my hands shaking, so I blocked his view of my hand inserting the key into the lock with the roses — who said cut flowers were a waste? I swung open the door and went directly to the kitchen to find something to put the flowers in, hoping I could buy time until I could get a deep breath into my lungs.
When I could breathe again, and Lucas was leaning against the doorframe, I said, “What do you want to talk about?”
“I couldn’t change for you, Ava.”
My fingers faltered on the stems as I angled them for the scissors. “Well, none of us want to change, but there’s nothing wrong with a little evolution.”
We could all keep improving. God knew I’d made a lot of changes already. So had he. Maybe he just didn’t see them the way I did. Maybe I saw them all wrong and he would never change in a way I could live with.
“Evolution takes years. Centuries.”
I laid down the scissors at his words, my heart pounding so hard in my chest I was afraid I’d cut off my finger instead of the stems. “Why are you here? I didn’t need a personal visit to know there could never be anything between us.”
He blinked and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “That’s not what I want?”
I shook my head, trying to unpuzzle this complicated man. “What do you want, Lucas?” I suddenly felt so tired.
Lucas had laid his jacket on my kitchen counter, and now he picked it up, revealing something underneath. I groaned. It was red and white. Seriously? It was another damn box.
“We got our next challenge.” He held the box out, his expression hopeful. “I know what it says.” Lucas swallowed hard, and I could tell that he was nervous. I studied him, trying to understand. “I created it before the contest.”
I stared at the box, considering everything it could mean. I looked back up at him, noticing the dark circles under his eyes, the haggard look on his face. He’d missed me too, I realized. He’d fought it too. He’d tried staying away too.
I smiled, and the breath he’d been holding came out in a whoosh.
“I’m sorry, Ava.”
I lifted my chin. “Sorry for what, specifically?”
“For staying away. For being afraid. For trying to get lost in work and pushing you from my mind.”
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes, and I blinked them away. “Then I need to apologize too. Because I’ve done the same things. I left and stayed away. I’m afraid. I attempted to forget by staying busy too.”
Lucas shoved his fingers into my hair and glanced around the apartment. “Nice place.”
Another smile played on my lips. “It’s new, thanks to Uncle Harvey.”
He nodded. “So you got your check.” It wasn’t a question. He’d clearly already known that I’d gotten the full amount. Already known it had been cashed. Known that I was now independently wealthy without him. “That’s good. You deserved it… and more.”
“I heard that Isabella got the same amount.”
He nodded again. “It’s true. Turns out, Uncle Harv was less worried about us winning competitions than he was our winning the girl.”
I swallowed. “I hope he wasn’t too disappointed.”
Lucas’s face fell, but only for a moment. He met my gaze, and something deep in my stomach twisted. “I hope not.” He held out the box.
With trembling fingers, I took it with as much hesitation as I would take a snake. Just as warily, I opened it and took out the card.
Good afternoon, Ava and Lucas,
CHALLENGE #12
Too Sore to Walk and Too Submissive to Talk
The submissive partner must endure a night of passion, pleasure, and pain administered by the Dominant.
Your challenge begins at five o’clock.
The rules of BDSM apply. Be safe and have fun.
My hands were still trembling, this time with anticipation, but he didn’t know that. “You created this?” I looked at the clock. It was four-fifty.
“Yes. I created it before I knew you. I wanted to mess up Mason. I knew he shied away from this sort of thing.” He stepped toward me, and the hair on my arms stood up. “But you didn’t, Ava. You wanted me anyway.” His eyes blazed with heat and hunger. “Do you still?”
God, I did. Restraints and all.
The thing was, I knew there was more than whips and chains between us. I knew he liked being challenged by me. Liked when I took over. If I could accept him for who he was, he could accept me. And we’d find the middle ground that pleased us both.
And I trusted him. I… loved him. Wanted him. Needed him.
We could make this work.
I still had hope that some day, he would want something more along the lines of making love, but until that time I would bend a bit to have the man I loved in my life. None of us were perfect. We would be imperfect together.
“Yes,” I whispered. When I looked up at him, the temperature of the room soared, a white-hot flame burning in my belly.
“And you trust me?”
“Yes.” Another whisper.
In a way, I wanted it, this crazy excitement of not knowing what he was about to inflict on me while at the same time knowing he would never really cause me significant pain. All I would have to do was tell him to stop, and I knew with all my heart that he would.
Lucas reached out, ran his hand lightly through my hair, taking a lock in his hand and studying it as he spoke. “There are a few basic rules you’ll need to follow tonight. First, it’s a silent submission exercise, you’re not meant to make a sound. I can leave you to be non-vocal on your own, or there are devices I can use. As a Dominant, it’s my choice, what I do to ensure your silence. Tonight, I’m your master. You may not disobey me, or you risk forfeiting the challenge.” His eyes were brimming with a dare.
“Agreed.” I swallowed, my mouth salivating at his words.
“Do you still have the BDSM outfit you designed for tonight.”
A shiver went through me. He’d watched me design the outfit. Had he been thinking of this very moment while he did?
“Yes, Lukas.”
My nerves were all over the place as I found the outfit and changed. Until I saw myself in the mirror, looking like a kinky biker chick who lived in a very hot climate. I looked tough. Badass.
It occurred to me then that I was those things now… tough and badass. I’d graduated from the New York School of Design, participated in a BDSM contest with snippets of footage featured on Hedon.com. Occasionally someone recognized me. They never said anything, but I could tell by the look they gave me that they thought I was brazen. The woman staring back at me from the mirror was brazen. She was a hardened survivor who had the ability to take on New York City and kick some city butt.
She was me.
“Ready,” I called out, and Lucas instructed — ordered — me to go to the living room.
In the long, draping leather coat I’d designed, coupled with a velvet bustier that barely held my breasts in, letting the slopes of my milky white skin pour over the top, I walked into the room. His eyes took in the black silk tap pants that barely covered my ass cheeks and defined every centimeter beneath. The thing that I was nervous about was the band of leather at my neck and the metal ring dangling from it.
“We’re going to start, Ava. Do you have any questions before we do?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. Willed my pulse to slow as I waited for his instructions.
“Good. I want you to kneel in the middle of the living room floor, bend your head to the carpet, and spread your legs with your hands behind your back. I need to prepare a few things. If I come out and you’re not in that position, I will punish you.” His voice was much more strong and commanding than it’d ever been with me before.
But I nodded, trusting him, and followed his orders. He went back into the kitchen, and I could hear him rustling something around. Maybe choosing tools from that damnable red and white box.
I was in the position he’d instructed me to be in when his footsteps sounded in the room. I was proud to have obeyed thoroughly and tried to peek through my legs at him. What I saw — Lucas with his shirt off, wearing only his slacks — made me draw in a sharp breath.
He moved until he stood in front of me then used his finger to lift my head until I was looking him in the eyes. “I’m glad that you trust me, Ava. You should. I won’t do anything to hurt you. However, I don’t trust you not to speak, especially to implore me or pull me in with your words. So…” He pulled out a piece of linen knotted into a ball, with long ties at each side. “Open your mouth.”
I hesitated, looking at the thing and wondering if this was a ball gag.
“Let’s not start this evening with a punishment. Ava, open your mouth, now!”
My natural instinct was to argue, to tell him where he could stuff his ball gag. But I took a deep breath and surrendered.
Surrendered to him.
For us.
I opened my mouth as he leaned down and placed the knotted part of the gag in my mouth. It hit my gag reflex, and he pulled it forward a little before tying it tight. It was a bit uncomfortable but nothing I couldn’t handle.
“Maybe if you’re really good,” he drew out really, “I’ll loosen it some, but it’s already less than I’d prefer.”
On my knees, with my attention directed at him more now than the gag, I noticed there was quite a bulge in his pants. My pulse tripped, and the gag made it difficult to disguise my increased breathing.
“Since you won’t be able to speak, I’m providing you with a set of bells.” He took the bell bracelet out of his pocket and rang it for me. “This will be tied to your wrist. If for any reason what we are doing becomes too much for you or you want to stop, you need to ring them three times. Like this.” He rang the bells with a sharp hand motion, three times fast. “As soon as you ring them, we’ll pause the game. Nod if you understand.”
I nodded slowly, wondering if he was testing me to see if I had what it took for the long haul.
“Stretch out your arm.”
I did as he said, and he tied on the bells. Next, he reached into his other pocket and pulled out a leather leash.
I closed my eyes. Trust him. I trust him.
“You’ll do exactly as I say tonight, Ava, or you’ll be punished. Punishments will graduate in intensity. They can be very uncomfortable, so I suggest you not do anything that would warrant a punishment. Nod your head if you’re ready.”
I cast my eyes to the floor to hide my fear and excitement and dipped my head once.
“So, we’ll begin. The first thing I’d like you to do is stand up, remove your jacket and tap pants, you won’t be needing them, but leave the corset. When you take them off, do it as if I’ve made no promise to pleasure you tonight. Take them off in a way that’ll make me want to fuck you.”
Heat spread through my limbs at the thought of raising his desire piece by leather piece. I met Lucas’s eyes for a moment and saw something that gave me a rush of confidence. Love. Strength and… humor? He’d never been amused by this type of thing before.
“Ava!” he scolded when I didn’t jump at his command.
I rolled my hips, letting my eyelids veil my eyes, and within moments I was the seductress as I undulated, gyrating my pelvis from side to side as my fingers hooked in the waist of the silk shorts and slowly slid them down my long, lean legs.
Wiggling my hips, I ducked out of the jacket, making sure to push my tits way out for his viewing pleasure.
“Walk over to the dinner table,” he commanded. “Yes, perfect. Now, bend over it with your arms and legs spread out like you’re my dinner.”
I’d seen this kind of thing on the website, so I knew just what he was going for. I did as I was “commanded” to do and wasn’t the least bit surprised when the cuffs came out, and I was locked into place, my breasts smashed into the cool wood.
When he had me all tied up, he started the first of the evening’s many tortures, slapping my exposed ass. I writhed against my restraints, mostly for show, but I really did worry about any upcoming pain. However, since I’d already been tied up, I knew what to expect, and it wasn’t as scary. I breathed through it.
Since I was restrained with my face pressed against the polished wood of the dining table, I couldn’t see what was coming next when he’d had his fill of spanking me.
“You’re doing great, Ava,” Lucas said above me. “Now, we’re going to start with something easy.” He smoothed his hand over my stinging ass.
Something warm and wet glided up my center, and it felt delightful. I waited for the pain to come. Waited while something warm and wet glided back down and dipped into my entrance. His tongue. He was lapping, circling, teasing my clit with his tongue. The unexpected pleasure of it made my muscles tighten, and I threw back my head, drew in a hissing breath.
His touch felt good. I’d missed his fingers on my thighs like they were now. The caress of the man I’d fallen for. Still, I waited for the pain that was second nature with the BDSM stuff.
His fingers left my thighs, and I tensed, sure this was the moment he would make me scream. But when they came back they were only warm with oil, oil he slathered my folds with. Before he trailed kisses over my ass and upward, then licked all the way up my spine and to my neck. My breath caught in my throat, and my teeth clamped down on the gag in my mouth. The obstruction somehow raised the thrill factor.
His hot breath in my ear made me shiver. “You’re so beautiful.” His hand slipped down my arm to the restraint, flicked, and my wrist was free. Then the other, then my legs.
When I was free, he slipped his oiled finger inside me as his mouth devoured my neck. Two fingers, in and out. He smoothed his hand over my hot ass cheeks and again, kissed them. It was so sweet, the sensation of his fingers scissoring open inside me as I was pressed to the cool kitchen table by his weight over me, his bare chest pressing against the skin of my back. My heart raced frantically as warm oil oozed between my legs, a weird sensation that kept me from going over the edge.
His body shifted over me, expertly diving one hand into my bodice to find an aroused nipple. His fingers played with it, and for a second, it felt like he was making love to me. That familiar, tight knot in my stomach appeared, heat building, flushing through every cell. I was on the verge of a hard, merciless orgasm. But he’d commanded me to not speak or make a sound, to do only what he commanded. In the past, he’d forbid me from coming, so I didn’t know what to do. I was confused that he’d untied me.
I panted, breathing through my nose, and clung to the edges of the table, trying my very best to hold on to the orgasm.
“Yes.” His voice was deep and sounded in awe as he plunged two fingers deeper inside.
I threw my head back and cried out around the gag, clamping my legs around his hand to keep from orgasming, but he somehow managed to pump his fingers in and out anyway. His hand delved into my hair, untied the strings, and I spit the gag free of my mouth. Inhaling deeply, I took a chance. “Please, oh Lucas, please, can I come?” My words ended at a high pitch as I gritted my teeth together.
“Yes, Ava, yes. Come for me. You don’t ever need to ask again. Just come for me.”
I came so hard, every muscle in my body quaked as the room spun around me. I had no control over the sounds coming out of my mouth as he hit my g-spot and my hips came up off the table. When I finally was only shuddering, his hand turned my face toward his. I’d absolutely never come so hard in my whole life, and I tried to catch my breath as I looked into his eyes. Eyes that held something different, but I was too dazed to figure out what right now.