CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Maddie
The strawberry crepes were delicious, and when the kids automatically placed their dirty dishes in the machine built into the cabinets, I examined the thing once they’d all scampered away.
Once, during a charity event at a homeless shelter, I’d worked in the kitchen, serving up bowls of soup and thick cuts of fresh bread. My photograph had been taken of me putting glasses into a dishwasher much like this one. It was for publicity, of course, but after the photographer had gone, I’d watched others finish filling the thing, pour a liquid into the door, and punch some buttons.
Opening cabinets, I found a large green bottle of dishwashing detergent and could have cheered at the discovery. Reading the directions, I did as it told me to do, and in only a few moments, the thing vibrated and made soft noises.
Yes. I would officially call my first solo attempt at breakfast making a success.
Well… I had very nearly burned down the building, but that had been Xander’s fault for distracting me. Xander and his check. Xander and his proposal.
I pressed my hands to my belly, smiling like a fool.
He wanted me.
So much so that he was attempting to level the playing field so that we could get to know each other better. He wanted me to not feel beholden to him in any way.
Over breakfast, I kept finding him staring at me, and he didn’t look away when our gazes met. We had unfinished business, and as I wiped down the granite countertops, I wondered how long he’d give me to decide.
The hair on my arms stood up, and I knew my time had come. He was there, having approached me as silently as a leopard. When I turned, he was closer than expected. Less than a foot away, maybe less.
“Does it make me a whore, accepting your money in exchange for me sleeping with you?”
That was the question that burned in me since he’d shown me the front of the check. I’d been bought only a few days ago. I refused to ever be purchased again.
“No. That money is what I’d have given any person who did what you did.” He took a small step closer to me, but he didn’t remove his hands from his pockets. “Since Kylian was born, a small part of my mind has worried about security for him, then for Kenzie. I’m a wealthy man, and wealthy can become a target to people who want what I have.”
I nodded. “I understand.” And I did, more than he could ever know. I’d been surrounded by security my entire life. Until now.
“I’ve always known I’d be generous with anyone who went through extraordinary lengths to save one or both of my children. Is a million dollars enough or too much? I don’t know, but it feels right. It’s a life altering amount for most people, and I…”
The very edges of my lips turned up into a small smile as I witnessed his discomfort while talking of money. In my manners classes, there were many lessons on sidestepping such discussions, and it had surprised me when Prince Vitalievich’s servants had specifically told me the cost of things I was gifted with for our engagement announcement.
The prince had spent two-hundred and forty-seven thousand on the custom gown I wore that terrible night. The engagement ring a servant, instead of my fiancé, had slipped on my finger was one point four million while the heavy diamond earrings were over six hundred thousand.
But Xander was nothing like the prince, and my life was now nothing like what I’d experienced as a princess.
“…I want you to have it, Madalyn. Whether you stay with me or leave, I want you to be happy and live a good life and know how grateful I will always be for—”
“Yes.”
It was that simple and that complicated.
He looked incredulous, like he’d been expecting more of an argument. But there was no sense in arguing something I wanted too.
“Yes?”
I nodded, one up and down movement of my head. “Yes.”
His entire body seemed to sag in relief, which was a compliment in itself. “You’ll deposit the check? Not just keep it? I want you to have full access to it should you ever change your mind.”
I had no idea how to make such a deposit, but I would figure it out. “Yes.”
He blew out a breath. “You’ll come with me and the kids to Montauk?”
“Yes.”
He smiled, and it was beautiful and so big that it reached his eyes. It lasted only for a moment until it disappeared, a frown causing a line to etch across his forehead. “And you’ll be happy to be with me, even though I’ll have the kids and I won’t be able to take you out on traditional dates, to romance you like you deserve?”
“Do you always overthink everything?” I wondered out loud, even though I hadn’t meant for the words to leave my head.
He laughed, and the line disappeared. “I guess I do.
I made a commitment right then and right there. I would do everything within my power to make sure that line didn’t appear again.
Desire curled in my belly as I imagined all the different ways I could make him smile. I took a step toward him, closing the distance between us. “Are you overthinking right now? Wondering if you should kiss me or wait?”
His nostrils flared, and his eyes seemed to darken. “Yes.”
Daring beyond my wildest belief, I lifted my hands to his chest, felt the muscles underneath my palms flex at the touch. “Xander, stop thinking.”
I braced, expecting an assault of his lips, and when he only stared at me, I was disappointed. Then, very slowly, he lifted his hands and pulled the glasses from my face. I heard the little click of them being placed on the countertop, then his hands were back, in my hair this time.
“Yes, it’s time to stop thinking. It’s time for me to fully live.”
Before I had time to fully examine the statement, his hands tightened in my hair, and we connected in the sweetest way possible. His lips were full and warm as they pressed against mine, his beard soft against my cheeks and chin. His body hot as I pressed against him, needing more… everything.
He licked the seam of my mouth, and I opened for him, welcoming his tongue with my own. His kisses last night had been deliciously sensual, and this one was like coming home. For a moment, I imagined that our souls had been roaming the universe, searching for the one that fit.
Was that search over? Had we found the eternal soul mate so much was written about?
Or was this pure lust? A longing that we would temporarily fill for each other?
Did it matter?
I would stay with him because it was what both of us wanted. And I would go when that time came. I couldn’t ask for or promise more than that.
I’ll find you.
I shivered and held more tightly to Xander, who explored my mouth with a patience that didn’t match the urgency I felt in his body. I was safe here, in this place I seemed destined to be, and I refused to let a single memory of the prince intrude on the peace I’d so unexpectedly found.
The countertop was sharp against my spine when he backed me against the hard surface. The tie of my robe fell open when he loosened it. His palm was warm through the tank I wore when he pressed it against my breast and squeezed.
“The children,” I whispered against his lips, and he groaned.
The sound made me smile. “Come to my office. I need to be inside you.” His lips pressed against my forehead. “Please.”
Running my hands up and down his back, I made a decision. “No.”
He pulled back, looking down at me. “No?”
Lifting to my toes, I pulled his head down until our lips pressed together. “No,” I whispered. “I want my first time…” I cleared my throat, “with you to be in your bed. I don’t want to worry about Kylian or Kenzie knocking on the door. I want to fall asleep in your arms afterwards. Is that asking too much?”
He smiled softly, seductively. “Well, I can’t promise the not knocking on the door part, but I can give you the rest. So how about I tie up some loose ends while you pack for the beach house?”
I nodded. “That sounds good.”
He kissed me softly again. “Oh, and I have a surprise for everyone later.”
“What is it?”
He laughed. “It’s a surprise, so you’ll have to wait and see.” He reached into his pocket. “Oh, and you need this.” He placed the check in my hand.
I stared at it, opened it up. I noted the name of the bank, chewed my bottom lip.
“Do you have a bank account, Madalyn?”
I chewed my bottom lip harder, but before I could think of a good reason as to why I didn’t, he thumped himself on the forehead. “You’ve been out of the country for a long time. Of course, you probably don’t.”
“Yes!” Okay, I said that a little too loudly, and he gave me a squinty eyed look. “Yes,” I repeated more calmly. “I was hoping to open one soon. Do you have suggestions?”
He was still squinting at me but slowly nodded. “Yeah. I’ll have my banker call you. I’ll have him make a personal visit to set everything up. How long, exactly, were you in France?”
I licked my lips. “Two and a half years.”
“And you’re twenty-two now?”
I nodded.
“Did you have a bank account before you left for France?”
Anxiety churned in my stomach. Why these sudden questions? Why this squinty look?
The paper I was given to read on the plane didn’t have the answer to this, so I shook my head and told the truth. “My parents paid for everything.”
His head cocked to one side. “How did you pay your way through college in a foreign country? How were you able to live?”
I did have an answer to that. In the letter I was told to stick to the deceased parents story. “Insurance money.”
“Why do you sometimes sound so American and sometimes sound so French?”
I longed to tell him why, but I heard Mama whisper, “Create your own future, but never, ever speak of your past, of this night or where you came from. To anyone. Ever.”
Even to the man in front of me. Maybe one day, if our journeys continued down the same path, but to trust him so completely after knowing him for so little time was foolhardy.
“Why so many questions?” I asked in a teasing tone, even though my heart increased in speed. “Do you always interrogate potential lovers?”
He stared at me for so long I almost squirmed. “You’re right. I’m sorry, it did sound like an interrogation, but I want to know more about you.” He lowered his voice. “I want to know everything about you. Every detail.”
My stomach squeezed. “You make my body feel funny things, Xander. Just by looking at me.”
He took my hand and moved it down his chest, his stomach. Lower, until it covered his erection. “You make my body feel funny things too, Madalyn.”
I looked down to where my hand cupped over him, felt him pulse and vibrate underneath my palm. Moving my hand, I traced the length of him, felt the mushroom cap of the tip. “You’re very big.”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re ready for me first.”
Curious, I unzipped his pants and reached inside. And came in contact with his boxers.
“What are you doing?”
We both froze, then I yanked my hand away while Xander reached up and grabbed my face, using his thumbs to pull my eye open wide.
What was he doing?
“Um, Maddie got something in her eye, honey. Just helping her get it out.”
The slapping of bare feet on marble would have been helpful to hear a few moments ago, but where she’d been quiet as a mouse before, she sounded like an elephant herd running around the center island now.
“Are you d’accord?” Kenzie asked me.
I tried to look down at her, but Xander still had my eyelids pried apart, so I couldn’t quite manage it. I lifted a thumb. “Oui, Mademoiselle Kenzie.”
Xander blew into my eye, and I reeled away in surprise, but with the cabinets behind me, I didn’t go far. “I think you got it.” My eyes were drying out, and I’d seriously have something in my eye if he didn’t let me close it soon.
Finally, he did, and when he stepped backward, he yanked his shirt out of his pants and down before turning to face his daughter. “Maddie’s all good now, sweetheart. Want to go start packing? We’re heading to the beach.”
Completely distracted now, Kenzie jumped up and down, clapping her hands together. “Yay. I love the beach.”
Xander winked at me, and while Kenzie bounced around in circles, he discreetly zipped his trousers back up.
The rest of the day was filled with preparing for our trip, and I helped the kids pack while Xander took care of some business. As promised, his banker arrived, and I soon had my very first checking and savings accounts, and while he tried to tempt me into securing some of the money in things called CDs and bonds, I stuck to the basics. For now.
Xander had been right. Having money leveled the playing field, and I immediately felt stronger, more independent. And lucky. Very, very lucky.
“Can you think of anything else you need?” I asked Kylian. He’d been quiet today, although I didn’t know if that was his normal state or if he’d grown quiet after whatever had happened to make him “cry and cry.”
Before Xander left, he’d asked me to make sure the kids didn’t see the news, so I’d been keeping them entertained and busy. Well, that applied to Kenzie but Kylian had mostly stayed in his room.
I went to Kylian’s suitcase and tried to think of everything a little boy would need at the beach. Something crunched under my foot. I looked down. Peeking out from the navy-blue bed skirt was the corner of a picture frame. Crap.
Bending down, I pulled it out and was dismayed to find the glass was cracked. It was a man and a woman sitting on a blanket, Kylian and Kenzie sitting on their laps. “Oh no. I’m so—”
When Kylian turned to me, saw what was in my hands, his eyes widened, and he leapt to his feet. “What are you doing?” he screamed and snatched the picture frame from my fingers. He threw it against the wall, surprising me further. When he lifted a foot to crush it beneath his heel, I rushed to him, pulling him away.
His feet were bare. So were mine. And there were sprinkles of glass everywhere. “Kylian, please stop. You’ll be cut.”
But the boy was furious, sobbing now from anger and… what? I didn’t know, and it took all my power to keep him away from the sharp shards. He was a tall child, only a foot or so less than me.
There was a thumping of feet as Kenzie came running down the hall, sounding like a herd of elephants again. “Kenzie, don’t! Stop!” I warned, and she skidded to a halt just outside her brother’s open door.
“What happened?”
I turned Kylian until he was facing away from her. “We had an accident. Will you run to my room and get me a pair of shoes?”
Off she went, and I returned my focus to the boy, who was going limp in my arms. He couldn’t have weighed more than sixty pounds, but compared to my one hundred and two, he was like a lead weight. I sank with him to the floor, then held him against me while he cried.
More footsteps, and then Kenzie appeared, holding a pair of… high-heeled strappy sandals. I bit back a moan. From my limited experience as an aunt, I knew adults had to be very specific with children.
“Thank you, sweetheart. Could you also bring me the little white sneakers?”
Her head tilted to the side. “The Keds?”
“Yes, those please.”
Off she went, and I stroked the boy’s hair. “I’m sorry for whatever is happening right now, Kylian,” I whispered. “If you could tell me how to help, I will.”
“I don’t want that picture anymore.”
“Okay… we shall be rid of it. What else?”
He wiped his nose on his shirt, and it was very difficult to hold back a grimace. “Dad didn’t get my hair cut.”
I pushed said hair back from his face. “So, shall I call him about that? He most likely has simply forgotten.”
Kylian did something that completely surprised me. He grinned. Well, sort of. It was more of a twisting of his mouth, but he’d stopped crying and I called this mouth movement a win. “You talk like a queen.”
I forced my mouth to fall open, and my eyes to grow wide. “I do no such thing,” I said, using a high-brow British accent this time. Then I winked. “Maybe a princess, but surely I shan’t be on any throne. I simply can’t abide all that tacky gold.”
He laughed, and something inside me eased a little. Laughter was good. Laughter was the enemy of negative emotions. If it were a human, it would be a sumo wrestler and would win every fight.
“I’m coming!” Kenzie screamed. Instead of clomping, click click click sounds were coming down the hallway.
Kylian and I looked at each other. He gave me a confused look, and I gave him one back. Then we both looked at the door.
Kenzie appeared, wearing the high-heeled sandals and holding the Keds in her hands. I grinned at her. “Just toss them to me please.”
They went a little wild, but I managed to catch them, thankful for the tennis lessons I’d been given most of my childhood. Slipping them on, I found Kylian a pair of flip-flops, and when all of our feet were properly attired — mostly — we went on a search for a vacuum.
That was how Xander found us. I screamed when he slapped my bottom, then Kenzie screamed when she saw what was in his arms.
The little white dog.
She was really white this time, freshly bathed and trimmed. She wore a bright pink collar with rhinestones, and she looked nearly frightened to death.
My heart squeezed. Now, clean, she looked more like my CeeCee than ever. Clearly not purebred like mine was, this one had a mix of genetics that was very pleasing. Highland terrier ears, but the body was longer, almost like a Dachshund. Her fur was curlier too, almost poodle-ish. Whatever her background, she was adorable.
“Settle down, Kenz,” Xander shouted. “You’re scaring her.”
Kenzie immediately stopped bouncing up and down — she couldn’t jump because of the shoes — and stopped squealing in the way only little kids can. The silence was so abrupt it made me a little dizzy.
“Is she mine?” Kenzie whispered, the heels click click clicking as she scooted closer. “Can I keep her?”
Enormous tears fell down her cheeks as Xander squatted and put the dog down. Both children sat down on the thankfully clean floor, their hands outstretched for the scared animal to sniff. “I don’t know yet, sweetheart. We have to wait a little while to see if her real owners claim her, but she can stay with us.” His eyes came to me. “And guess what?”
He was looking at me, but Kenzie answered. “What?”
“She’s going to have puppies.”
My mouth fell open as the little girl squealed, much more softly this time, and Kylian fell backward, looking like a starfish on floor, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. He was playing dead, I realized. But he was up quickly and petting the head of the small dog. “Can we keep them?”
That question began a whole host of begging from the children while Xander dodged it all, mostly relying on “We’ll see” as an answer.
“What’s her name?” Kylian asked.
Xander shook his head. “We don’t know. Guess we’ll have to name her something.”
Kenzie’s finger went into the air. “I know.”
Even before she said it, the hair on the back of my neck bristled, and I somehow knew the name she was going to choose.
“Let’s name her CeeCee.”
I let out a breath as tears pricked the backs of my eyes. “CeeCee is perfect.”
And it was.
If I had been searching for a sign that I was in the right place at the right time, this dog was that proverbial burning bush.
I looked at Xander and found him looking at me.
Something inside me loosened, and I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.