CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Grant
I watched her face as the plane taxied to the runaway.
She looked so young and innocent as she stared out of the window, her hands gripping the armrests until her knuckles turned white.
I loved giving her this new experience. Loved seeing a fresh world filled with light and possibilities, even though my rose-colored glasses had long since tarnished.
The plane turned to face the long runway, and the engine began to roar, the sound growing and growing as Journey looked around with wide eyes. “Is that normal?”
I held out my hand and smiled when she linked her fingers through mine. “Completely.” We began to roll. “Here we go.”
Her hand tightened on mine as we sank back into our seats. “Wow.” She clung to me even as her nose was practically pressed to the window, the landscape beginning to blur past us. “It doesn’t seem possible that something this size could just…” We lifted off. “Oh…”
The pilot had warned me that he’d be pulling us into a steep ascent, getting us above and away from a coming storm quickly. The g-force was incredible, even for an experienced traveler like me. I could only imagine how it felt for her.
“Wow.”
She looked at me. She looked out the window again. She was like a child trying to see everything at once.
A beautiful child.
A sexy child.
No. She was very much a woman.
She’d nearly taken my breath away when I’d first seen her on the sidewalk. The broken bike had taken the moment away, stealing my attention, but I could openly watch her now.
“Clouds.”
I smiled as the wisps of white flew past the window. Smiled as her thumb started to automatically caress my hand.
“It’s like a patchwork quilt.”
I smiled, remembering thinking the same thing when I first was on a plane so many years ago.
After another minute or so, the captain let us know that we’d gained cruising altitude and we could wander around the cabin at will.
Steve, the attendant, appeared at my side. “Champagne?”
Journey’s eyes grew wide and she seemed to consider the bottle in front of us. Was it not to her taste? I hadn’t seen her drink anything stronger than water since I’d known her but had thought a light Cristal wouldn’t be too much.
“Care for a glass?” I prompted, and she blushed before nodding.
What an odd response.
Steve stepped away to fill glasses, and I lifted her hand to my lips. “What’s wrong?”
She blushed even more. “I… it’s…” She exhaled a long breath. “I don’t normally drink, and I had champagne last night, and…” She practically shriveled into her seat.
Ah.
Her date last night.
I experienced a sharp jab of jealousy and ignored it completely. It was best if it was clear that we weren’t exclusive. It balanced the expectations we might have of each other.
“Did you enjoy your date?”
She blinked at me and straightened in her seat, pushing her hair behind her shoulder while her thumb rubbed the back of my hand harder. “Is it terrible of me to say yes?”
So honest. It was refreshing.
“No. It’s not terrible in the least. But it leads me to ask…” If she was being so honest, I would be as well, “are you regretting being here with me today? Do you wish I were him?”
The words weren’t completely out before she practically shouted, “No.” Hair fell into her face from where she’d shaken her head hard with the word, and I found that I could breathe again. “It’s complicated.”
I examined her eyes, her nose, the little mole above her lip. “It always is.”
The blue eyes practically shone from her face. “It is? I’ve not dated very much because I’ve always been so focused on school and taking care of Jaz and Mee-maw. I’m afraid I’m a bit socially illiterate.”
I smiled. “I’m very familiar with that club.”
Steve reappeared with two flutes, and I took them from him, dismissing him with a look. I didn’t hand the drink over though. “If this isn’t something you’d enjoy right now, tell me. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“I’d actually love a taste, but just no more than one glass. I’m afraid I’m quite the lightweight.”
Did she get drunk?
Did that man allow her to get drunk?
“Did he hurt you?”
Her eyes flew to mine. “No.”
Did he make love to you?
The question came very close to seeing the light of day, but I was able to hold it back. It was none of my business who she slept with. As long as she was careful on her own, and we were careful together, her experiences were exactly that… hers.
I handed over the glass and held mine up in a toast. “To new experiences.”
She clinked hers against mine, smiled when it rang out. “I like that. New experiences.”
I watched her sip, her nose wrinkling as the bubbles tickled it. Watched the smile appear with the taste.
It was time.
“Journey.”
“Yes?”
“I’d like to talk to you about the possibilities of new experiences.”
She took another sip, swallowed. “All right.”
“I want you in my bed.”
Well, it was a bit more blunt than I’d intended, but there it was. She coughed. Cleared her throat. “You do?”
“Yes. And if I haven’t already made that apparent, I’ll clearly need to try harder. Because I want you very much. I have since I first met you. The question is this… do you feel the same?”
Her voice didn’t waver. “Yes. I do feel the same way.” She frowned, those blue eyes clouding. “Why does this feel less like a seduction than it does a business transaction?”
“Because, Journey… because of who I am, I’ve learned that I must treat relationships with an element of…” I searched for the right word, “delicacy.”
“Why?”
I fought not to become frustrated, remembering I was used to having this discussion with women who better understood business arrangements. I thought back to Michelle. Or maybe not. Women and their shifting emotions and needs were complicated.
“I’ve had women claim that I raped or harassed them. I’ve had one claim that I fathered her child.”
She raised a brow. “And you didn’t?”
I appreciated her bravery at asking the question. “No. I wouldn’t.”
She snorted. “You need to choose better women.”
I laughed and lifted her hand to my lips again. “I’m trying, Journey. I’m trying.”
She took another sip of champagne. “So, what are you suggesting? That I sign some consent form and a… oh, what do you call it, a nondisclosure agreement?”
Her eyebrow was raised as if she was issuing a joke. It fell when I answered, “Exactly.”
She pulled her hand away and took another sip of the bubbling wine. “That’s not very romantic.”
I itched to touch her. “Journey, I’m not a romantic type of man.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her chest. “I think you underestimate yourself.”
I stared at her. I didn’t think anyone had ever said that to me, not as an adult anyway. Maybe it was because I’d found such incredible success at such a young age that very few people had the guts to be honest with me.
Unless they were pissed… then honesty flowed like a river.
But Journey didn’t look pissed. She looked more confused than anything. And hurt.
Damn. I didn’t want to hurt her.
That was the entire purpose of the contract. To have this discussion up front so that expectations were established at the beginning.
“What else does this contract say? Do you beat women with a cane?”
I laughed. God, she was precious.
“No, I’m not like that book, Journey. This is simply an agreement that you agree to enter in a sexual relationship with me of your own consent, and that you haven’t been coerced in any way. I won’t pay you to be with me. There will be no exchange of money, although I reserve the right to buy you gifts, just as any romantic partner would.”
Her lips quirked for a second. “You said ‘romantic.’”
I laughed again. “That was a slip. No romance for you.”
Her lips quirked again, then she pressed them tightly together. When she turned to look back out of the window, I finished off my glass, giving her space to make her decision.
I heard her exhale and she turned back to me. “As I told you, I’m seeing someone else. Is that a problem?”
That damn jealous spike I hated pierced me, and I stomped it down.
“What you choose to do outside of being with me is your decision. I don’t own you or control you. We enjoy each other’s company for as long as it’s mutually beneficial.”
Journey reached out a finger and poked my arm, then placed her palm on my forehead. “Hmm… they make robots very realistic now days.” She turned more fully in her seat and tossed back the rest of her glass. “Tell me, do you bleed when you’re cut?”
Memories of blood and pain flashed into my mind, and I mentally shut that shit down. I traced the scar. “I do indeed bleed, Journey. It’s agreements like this that allow me to stem the flow.”
She tried to move, then made a frustrated face and unbuckled her seatbelt, turning more fully. Not happy with that, she rose to her feet and faced me, then surprised the total hell out of me by climbing onto my lap.
Facing me completely, her knees on either side of my hips, I leaned my head back onto the seat to meet her gaze. Her blue eyes were soft when she cupped my face with her hands, her thumb tracing the scar at my mouth.
“What are you afraid of, Grant?”
She asked me so softly, the words were nearly lost in the space between us.
My gut began to burn, and I mentally made a list of the things that made me lose sleep at night. But I didn’t want to talk about them. Didn’t want to remember.
So, I changed the subject instead.
“My, what big lips you have, Journey.”
Her thumb traced the scar again, those clear blue eyes seeming to see into everything I was unable to say.
Then she smiled. She understood. Of course she understood. I thought she might possibly understand the world.
“The better to kiss you with, my dear.”
My heart was pounding when she lowered her mouth to mine. My fingers sought out her skin, moving under her top to smooth across her back.
I let her lead, willing to follow her, happy to allow her to take me wherever she needed me to go.
She opened her legs wider in the space available on the chair, and I pulled her toward me, our sexes pressing against each other through our clothes. Our tongues danced, teeth nipping at lips. And I wasn’t in any hurry for more. What we were doing was perfect.
When I opened my eyes, she was watching me. And smiled.
It faded when she pulled away, her hands still on my face.
“I’m going away next weekend with Na…” she cleared her throat, “with the, um, the other man.”
My hands tightened on her skin. Mine. I wanted to claim her. Which wasn’t fair.
As wonderful as these past few days had been getting to know her. As amazing as she felt in my arms. As perfect as we fit together. As much as I wanted her.
It wouldn’t last.
Nothing lasted.
Except scars.
“Can I have you today? This week? I’d like to spend more time with you, if you agree.”
Her gaze fell, but only for a moment. “It depends.”
I quirked up a brow. “On what?”
“If you sign my contract.”
I laughed, then stifled it when her head cocked to the side. “You’re serious.”
She nodded. “Indeed I am.”
I slid my hands down her back and rested them on her hips. “I’m willing to negotiate.”
She blushed a little. “Well, considering I’ve yet to assemble my contract, your negotiation tactics will have to wait.”
I thought about where my thumbs were resting low on her belly and looked down, realizing again how small she was. My thumbs nearly touched, and if I were to move them lower. Lower.
“My eyes are up here.”
Yes, fucking adorable.
I met her gaze but didn’t move my hands. “So, will you be needing access to a computer for this contract?”
“Nah. Just a piece of paper and pen.”
“You sure? I’ve got an extra iPad.”
She considered it. “I think I’ll go old school this time. I’m thinking a sex contract deserves some pen to paper attention.”
I frowned. “This isn’t a sex contract, Journey. I know what I’m asking is unconventional, but it’s nothing so crass as that. I need to know that you know how things will be between us. As much as I want to fuck you so hard that we’re both raw from it, I also want your company. Our conversations. If I just wanted sex, I’d hire a prostitute.”
Her fingers tightened in my beard. “Thank you for saying that. I was beginning to feel a little slutty.”
I moved my thumbs in circles on her lower abdomen. “Don’t say that. I’m weary of our society placing such judgements on women who simply follow their right to enjoy many experiences.”
“As proper as you are, you’re very openminded.”
I laughed. “You think I’m proper?”
She grinned. “Yeah, I keep expecting you to break out into a British accent or something.”
“Well, would ya prefer I talked like this, cause I can if’n you be wantin’ me to.”
She didn’t laugh like I’d expected her to at my take on Nash’s accent. Instead, she studied my face with a serious look. “No. I like how you are.”
My hands tightened on her waist as the energy between us grew deeper, heavier. My cock pulsed against her, and I lifted my hips, pressing into her until she closed her eyes and groaned.
“You have very big lips,” I said.
Her eyes opened, the black of the pupils consuming the blue. “The better to…”
Then I was tasting her, devouring and being devoured. I found her skin again under her shirt and crushed her to me, grinding her down onto my cock.
She was so sweet.
I loved the way her breath hitched, the little sounds she made when I lifted my hips again, grinding us together.
A bell pinged, and the pilot announced that we were only a few minutes from landing and would be descending soon. “Please note that the seatbelt sign is now on.”
I groaned. Journey groaned. The gods of sex surely groaned.
“I guess I better return to my seat,” she said but made no move to get off my lap.
Of course, as hard as I was still holding her to me, she couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. I loosened my grip through iron determination. “Yes. I think that’s wise.”
When she was back and buckled, Steve returned to my side and collected our glasses. I appreciated that he’d left us alone during the flight. He’d be getting a bonus.
As the ground grew nearer, Journey was plastered to the glass again, and I was able to experience her joy as we approached the runway.
She whipped around to face me, her eyes big. “We’re almost there.”
Then she was looking out again and began narrating what she saw. “I see the airport. Oh, look at all those cars.” And on and on.
I was smiling when the wheels touched down and she squealed in delight. “We made it!”
“Did you fear we wouldn’t?”
She faced me again. “Well, you never know. As many times as you’ve had reason to pity me this week, adding you having to drag me from a burning pile of wreckage isn’t exactly outside the scope of possibilities.”
I pushed her hair back from her face. “I don’t pity you. I respect you. Like you. Like being around you.”
“And you want me,” she finished. “After your meeting and our signatures on the dotted line.” She frowned. “Where is the meeting anyway? Where will I be during it?” She patted the leather. “Here?”
I took her hand and lifted it to my lips. “No. I have a surprise for you.”
She smiled. “You do? What is it? Where is it? Gimme, gimme, please please please.”
Even though I could tell she was playing with me, I remained serious. “Patience, my dear.”
Her gaze grew wistful. “A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves a thousand moments of regret.”
I recognized the quote. “Ali ibn Abi Talib.”
“Yes, brought to you through the spirit of Mee-maw. She said that to Jazzy and me often. She said a lot of things to Jazzy and me often. She was so wise. So good.”
“She passed that goodness on to you both.”
Her eyes clouded. “Well, it skipped a generation with our mother, I’m afraid.”
“Do you remember much about your mother?”
Her eyes clouded further, and I regretted the question. “Not much. I’d gotten very good at “going away” as Mee-maw called it. Kind of going into my own space and not seeing or hearing anything around me.”
I nodded. “I understand that space.”
Her eyes fell to my scar. “You do?”
My hand itched to touch the smooth line. I traced her lifeline with my finger instead. “Yes. I do.”
A bell pinged, and Journey looked out of the window again. “We’re here.”
I continued to trace her lifeline, not wanting to let her go.
But I would.
Because I had to.