I’ve been watching her sleep every night for days now. I can’t help it; I just need to be close to her. But I don’t want everyone else knowing, so during the day I stay busy with learning the business from Gabriel. I’m fine with leaving her during the day; I know Fallon watches over her. But when I know everyone is sleeping, I sneak back into her room and watch her. I know Fallon knows I do this because she has woken me a few times, but she never asks me anything about it. Avery isn’t really getting better. Fallon says her test results came back in, and thankfully she is clean of everything. However, Fallon says Avery doesn’t want to eat. She’s been having to force feed her liquids as often as she can. The doctor said he’s going to have to hook her up to another IV if she doesn’t start eating more.

The nights aren’t any better either. Her nightmares keep her fighting in her sleep. I find, though, if I hold her down and whisper in her ear that I’m here for her, she calms. I don’t know if she’s aware it’s me or not, but I like to think she knows. Tonight’s no exception. She restless. As I rub her hand, my mind drifts off to when I was probably the reason she didn’t sleep well at night.

That kiss, our first kiss, was perfect. I thought about her all night. The next morning, however, I play the dick again and ignore her. Marcy’s on my arm like she always is. Every now and then, I look up to see Avery watching. She looks hurt, and I can’t say I blame her.

That night, I go over to her house and text her repeatedly, but she never responds. I climb the fucking tree again and look through her sheers, watching as I see her pacing the floor.

I text her: “You look beautiful when you’re mad.”

She texts back: “Fuck you!”

She opens her window. “Why did you come back, Liam? Where’s Marcy?”

“First of all, I told you I was coming back. And second, I don’t care where Marcy is. Third, I like your pajamas.”

She has a T-shirt on with a picture of a cat, and it says, “I love my pussy.” She blushes, and I melt. She’s so pretty when she’s embarrassed.

“Avery, come talk to me.”

“Fine, but only for a minute.”

I meet her on her porch steps again. She comes out with her short shorts on, and I must say, the view is great.

“Hey, thank you for coming out. Look, I know today was hard, but I told you, I want to keep seeing you, but I don’t want anyone to take it out on you.”

“So, how’s this supposed to work, Liam? You come here at night and during the day. I’m your dirty little secret?”

“Avery, it’s not like that. Do you want me to tell everyone we’re friends? Do you want them to take it out on you? Because that’s what they’ll do, Avery. Marcy won’t accept it, everyone will fall to her side, and my friends will think I just want to get in your pants. Tell me what you want me to do?”

“So, that’s it, Liam? We’re just friends?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know…I just want to spend some time with you, okay?”

She looks to the ground shuffling her feet then says, “I guess we can be friends, but that’s it, okay?”

I smile. I’m so happy she’s at least giving me something.

“Okay, friends,” I tell her.

Things between us stayed like that for months. Every day I ignored her existence, and every night I went to her like a moth to a flame. It was perfect, or so I thought.

Fallon wakes me and tells me it’s time to go. She needs to wake Avery up to try to get her to eat. I nod my head. Standing to leave, I turn back to say, “Fallon, thank you for helping Avery, and thank you for not asking. I know you have questions.”

I turn back around and walk out. Nobody knows about our relationship, and for now I want to keep it that way. Fallon must wonder why she wakes me up every morning in Avery’s room. I’m just grateful it’s her and she doesn’t push for answers.

* * *

Fallon wakes me, and I look for Liam, like I do every morning. I swear I hear and feel him at night, but every morning when Fallon wakes me, he’s not here. Maybe I dream he’s here with me, but why would he be? He made his choice a long time ago, and I wasn’t it.

Fallon has a bowl of oatmeal with her this time, and I keep pushing it away. I know I’m supposed to eat, but I can’t. I don’t care if I live anymore. I wish she would just give up on me.

The door opens and Catherine comes into the room. She watches as I fight Fallon off with the food.

Catherine yells out, “Avery, it’s been long enough. I’m going to call your mother and let them know you’re alive and that you’re here!”

She can’t. I can’t go back home. Adam wants me dead. He’s the reason I’m here to start off with. I can’t let her do that. So, I scream and scream one word, “NO!”

Catherine runs to my side. “What is it, Avery? Why don’t you want me to call your mom? She’s been so worried about you.”

We’re staring into each other’s eyes. Silently, I’m trying to get her to understand.

“Avery, what is it? You can trust me, Avery.”

“Please,” is all I could say.

“Please what, Avery?”

My tears are falling down my face. “Please, you can’t call them.”

She studies me, trying to figure out my hidden message.

“All right, Avery, I won’t call them. I see you’re scared. I don’t know why, but I’ll trust you.”

She stands to leave but then stops and turns around, saying, “I won’t call your parents, on one condition: you have to start eating on your own; food, not just liquids. Do we have a deal?”

I look at Fallon, grab the oatmeal out of her hands, and defiantly spoon feed myself the whole bowl.

“Good girl.” Catherine smiles and leaves.

After I finish eating, Fallon finally leaves me. I just want to be left alone. I don’t know why they can’t understand that.

I drift off to sleep again.

For months, Liam and I see each other every night, and during the day we act like we don’t know each other. When he comes at night, we tell each other everything; I tell him things I have never told anyone else. He learns about my father dying, and I tell him how my life changed that day. I even tell him how Adam and my mom treat me. He in return tells me about his father’s death and how strong-willed his mother is. He even tells me how she hired the guards to teach them how to fight and shoot weapons. We laugh, and sometimes I’ve cried, and we always hold hands. We kissed a couple of times, with him apologizing to me after. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me, but he is. At school, he still allows Marcy to hang on him, and it’s starting to drive me crazy.

Tonight, I wait for him outside. We’re supposed to go for a ride. We do that sometimes; my parents never even know I’m not home. Liam usually texts me, and I meet him down the driveway, but tonight he’s late. I’m about to give up when I hear my phone ding. “I’m here.” That’s all it says. I think whether I should tell him to forget it or find out what happened. Why is he so late? My curiosity wins again. I meet him and get in his Jeep. He doesn’t smile, and he barely even looks at me.

“What’s wrong, Liam? Why are you late?”

He says nothing; just stares at his feet.

I lean over to kiss his cheek, and that’s when I smell it. I fall back into my chair, stunned.

“You smell like her.”

“What?”

I raise my voice. “You heard me, you smell like her! I know you spend your days with her, but you usually wash her smell off you before you come to me. Why do you still smell like her, Liam?”

He still says nothing, but that’s enough said for me. I get out of the Jeep and start walking fast back to my house.

“Avery, stop. Please, Avery.”

He catches up to me and turns me around with his hands on my arms. He says, “Avery, I’m sorry. Please, I had to. I had no choice.”

That makes me laugh. “You had to what, Liam? Fuck her? Is that what you did?”

“Yes, but baby, I didn’t want to.”

“Wow, that’s supposed to make me feel better? I thought we had an understanding?”

“We did, do, baby, listen to me. I stopped sleeping with Marcy once we got more serious. But she started questioning why I wouldn’t sleep with her anymore. She even accused me of cheating. She brought up your name, saying she catches me watching you all the time. Marcy said if I didn’t start acting like a boyfriend, she was going to confront you. I couldn’t let her do that, baby. Don’t you see?”

“I see, all right. I finally see. You are cheating, Liam. You cheat on Marcy with me, even though we don’t sleep together, and you cheat on me with her. I knew this wasn’t going to work.”

I start walking again. I just need to get away from him. He grabs my arms again, stopping me. Instantly, he wraps his arms around me so I can’t walk away. I look up to him and see tears in his eyes. He leans over and kisses me hard. I feel his tears on my cheeks and feel his hands start to roam my body, and I want so hard to meld into him and enjoy it, but I can’t.

“I can’t lose you, Avery. Please, baby.”

“Get off me, Liam, now! How dare you come over here after sleeping with her and then try to touch me with the same hands you had on her! My God, Liam, you still have her stink on you.”

He looks down at me and slowly releases me.

“Go back to your girlfriend, Liam. We were just friends, and it’s over now.”

I run towards home. I don’t even look back; I believed him when he said it was all going to work out. I believed him when he told me he cared. How stupid can I be?