Supper was nice last night, everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves. But the minute Liam looked into my eyes, I had this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s more than what I feel when Phil flirts with me. This was like when Liam used to kiss me, my stomach would almost do a small flip. I used to love kissing him. I used to like everything he did to me. I can’t believe I’m thinking about all of this. I haven’t felt my body crave anything in such a long time.

Like normal, I head down to eat breakfast. Gabriel and Vin have already left. Catherine eats fast, telling us she has an important phone call coming in from overseas she can’t afford to miss. Once she leaves the room, Fallon tries to get my attention. It seems I have been too distracted playing with my food.

“Avery, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I don’t know? I’m just a little off.”

Fallon looks concerned. “Are you getting sick?”

“No, nothing like that. I’m just, I don’t know. I’m just feeling frustrated, aggravated.”

“Oh, you mean sexually?” Fallon smiles.

“What? No, no. Like I said, I don’t know…Maybe? Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I promise. Why would I? It’s your business, and like Catherine said, it’s your body. I think it’s a good sign.”

That gets me to laugh. “How so?”

“Well, if you’re starting to feel those feelings again, that means that you’re getting better, doesn’t it?”

“I guess, but I don’t know what to do with them. I know you know I was a virgin before. I just…I didn’t enjoy it. I know I wasn’t meant to, but I’m scared now with that situation being my first time, I won’t ever enjoy it.”

Fallon seems to understand, and she grabs my hand and says, “Forget them, I know you must have done things with other guys…”

I don’t let her finish. I shake my head. “Only Liam, he’s the only other one to touch me.”

“Okay, did you enjoy what Liam did?”

“Yes, very much. So much that I wanted to give him my virginity.”

“Well, then you see you can enjoy sex. What those men did to you wasn’t love, or even really sex. It was about control. You need to feel safe and secure with the person you have your first time with.”

“But it’s not my first time anymore.”

“Yes, it will be, Avery. The first time you consent, the first time you desire someone. I know it will be difficult, but you should try.”

“With who? Phil is the only guy who’s ever shown interest in me in years. I love and trust him, but I don’t know if he can be my first. He doesn’t even know what I went through, and I’m scared it might show.”

“Not Phil, Avery. What about with Liam?”

“Liam? No, I couldn’t. He would never. He wouldn’t take me back then. What would make you think he would want me now? I’m not the same. I’ve been used, Fallon; that’s why I don’t want Phil to know. Everyone looks at me like I’m this helpless victim who’s been dirtied.”

“Avery, no one looks at you like that. Only you do. You are the only one who sees something dirty. We see a strong, determined, courageous woman. One who is a survivor. There is nothing weak about you, Avery. Why do you allow yourself to think like that? I wish you could see what we all see. We all love you, and Liam loves you, too.”

I start crying. She’s right, I do see myself like that. But the way she describes me is the way I wish I could see myself.

“Liam just thinks he loves me. It’s more that he feels sorry for me. I think he feels like he could have kept me from all of it.”

“Avery, stop overanalyzing everything. Forget Liam. What do you want? Do you want to try?”

“Yes.”

“Then decide who you want to try with. You can try with Phil if you want, or you can wait for someone else. I promise you, there will be plenty of men throwing themselves at you. Or you can try old faithful Liam. I know who I suggest.”

“Faithful is not a word I would use to describe Liam.”

“Great then, even better. Use him. You feel safe and secure with him, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then use that to your advantage. I say let him help you feel like the beautiful, sexy woman you are. Besides, what do you have to lose? He’s handsome, and you already know what he can do; at least some of it. And he’s safe. You can try anything you want with him, and he won’t judge your reactions, because he knows the truth.”

“I don’t know, Fallon. I’ll think about it. Maybe these feelings will just go away?”

Fallon laughs so hard, she snorts. “Oh crap, Sorry. That feeling won’t go away, Avery; it will just get stronger. Trust me, I am so frustrated myself right now. I have never been so horny in my life. Pregnancy hormones are killing me, and Gabriel is such a baby. He’s so scared he’s going to hurt the baby. You know what he is? He’s full of shit, that’s what. I’m going to get me some, even if I have to tie him down.”

My tears dry up, only to be replaced with uncontrollable laughter. “Okay, Fallon, simmer down. It will all be okay. I’m sure Gabriel will do something to help you out.”

“You’re damn right he will. UGH!”

I ask, “I’m going to go for a swim to cool off. Would you like to join me?”

“Really, Avery? You in a bikini and me in a whale suit? I don’t think so.”

I walk away, laughing. God, I hope Gabriel does something, anything before she wants to kill him along with everyone else. Is that what she means by sexual frustration getting worse? Damn!

Once I have my bathing suit on, I go back down and catch an early swim before it gets too hot. In Louisiana, it’s hotter than hell most of the time. I’ve been swimming, doing laps for almost thirty minutes. When I come up for air from doing a lap. Liam is standing there, looking gorgeous like always. He’s in his business suit with his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

I ask, “You’re not working today?”

“No, yes, I did, but there wasn’t much to do, so Gabriel told me to take the rest of the day off. I figured I’d come here and get settled in; no telling how long I’ll be here.”

“I hear that. The baby needs to come soon. Fallon’s going crazy.”

Liam laughs and says, “She is, isn’t she?”

I take the steps and walk out to the pool. I notice Liam shifts and stands there, watching me. I’ve seen that look before. I think he might still find me sexy. I test the theory and start to dry myself a little longer and forget to wrap my body in the towel. Every time I glance over at him, he’s watching all my movements. Interesting. Can I? Maybe he would be willing to help me? Shit, why does this have to be so hard?

I ask, “So, you’ll be staying here all day?”

I get no answer. He looks like he’s in a trance, just staring at me.

“Liam, Liam?”

“What? I was just thinking of something. What did you say?”

Was he thinking of me? “I asked if you were staying all day?”

“Yes, I have some work I can do, but I think I’ll just camp out in the living room to do it.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

I walk off, still unwrapped, with my body on full display in my bikini. This is kind of fun.

* * *

Torture. I’m in torture. I hear someone out by the pool and then see it’s Avery. Instead of walking away like I should have, I followed where my heart led me.

I don’t know how this is going to work. I’m standing here watching her dry herself off and wanting nothing more to make her wet all over again. Shit. I’m going to go crazy being this close to her.

She leaves me standing poolside with a dick so hard, it could cut steel. I need to do some work, but first I need to take care of myself if I want to try and concentrate.

I go to my room and change my clothes to something more comfortable. But before I can fit into my jeans, something else needs to be handled. I lie back in my bed; closing my eyes, I see Avery strolling around in her bikini. That image alone drives me mad with desire. I slowly start jerking off, and before long my hand gets faster and I’m drowning with images of her body on top of mine. The way her skin felt and her smell are still fresh in my mind. It doesn’t take long before I’m cumming all over myself. Jesus, that’s what she does to me; she always has me acting like a stupid fool. Now I’m a grown man, still acting out like a horny teenage boy.

I’m wiping myself off when someone knocks on the door. “Shit, I’m coming.” I rush to open the door to find Avery on the other side.

Instead of saying something, I notice her eyes drop and wash over me. I realize I don’t have a shirt on and my jeans aren’t zipped.

“Yes, what is it? You need something, Avery?”

She stutters. “Uh, no. No, I just wanted to see. I mean, I was going to fix a snack. Would you like one?”

“Yeah, that’s sounds great. I’ll be in the living room in a few minutes. I just need to finish changing.”

She continues to look me over as I start to button and zip my jeans. “Yeah, okay, I’ll see you in a few.”

She walks away, but I catch her turn and look back. That was interesting. She was checking me out. Did she just enjoy what she saw? That’s the first time since we were younger I felt her eyes on me like that. I need to stop reading into it. So, I brush it off and finish dressing and head downstairs.