It’s been three months since I came home. At first I tried to stand up to my parents, but now I’m back to giving up and accepting my fate.

Mom comes into the kitchen while I’m eating breakfast and tells me I need to be dressed and ready by seven tonight. She has a charity event she is co-sponsoring, and I am expected to be there. I lower my head because this is the last thing I need or want. Imagine being surrounded by a bunch of fake ass people. Now I must deal with the idea of running into any of my old classmates, which would be devastating to whatever self-worth I have left.

“Mom, do I have to go? I was hoping to finish my book tonight, and I’m tired.”

My mother turns and looks offended. “Avery, you know how important this is to me. And yes, you are going. I have your dress already picked out. You will get out of this house, attend, and you will try to apply yourself tonight. I want everyone to see you made it back home where you belong.”

She then softens her voice and says, “Please, Avery, try for me.”

“Okay, Mom, fine, I’ll go.”

She kisses my forehead and walks away. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to go to this stupid party and act like a well-behaved child.

* * *

I go upstairs to see what Mom has left for me to wear tonight. Just like I thought, it’s hideous. The dress looks like it was made for a child, not the woman I have become. It’s black taffeta and will cover every part of my body. I throw myself on the bed and start screaming into my pillow. I stop when I hear my phone ringing.

I fake a happy persona as I answer. “Hey Lucy, what’s up?”

“Avery, I miss you so much. It’s not the same without you. Please tell me how’s it going?”

I lie again, like every time I talk to her. I can’t stand the idea of telling her the truth. The truth that every day is a walking nightmare. How can I explain to her how I have allowed them to make me their whipping dog again?

I look down at the ugly dress lying on my bed and tell her, “It’s great, Lucy. I keep telling you things are so much better now. I think they finally realize I’m not a baby anymore. Tonight my mother is hosting a charity event, and you should see the beautiful dress she bought me.” With a roll of my eyes, I add, “It’s going to be great. I’ll get to see people I haven’t seen in years.”

“Bullshit. I know you keep telling me everything is better now, but Avery, I know you. I know you’re lying. Just tell me already what’s truly going on?”

Damn Lucy, why can’t she just let it go?

“I’m not lying, it really is great. Don’t worry about me. How’s everything over there?”

After an extended pause, in which I know she is considering trying to push me more, she finally gives up. “Well, my new roommate sucks. Oh, and Phil won’t stop pining over you. I swear that boy is in love.”

I start laughing. “He’s not in love. I think I’m just the first girl to ever turn him down, that’s all. He’ll get over me soon enough.”

“Maybe. Look, I just wanted to see how you were, but I’m running late, so I’ll try and call later this week, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s great. Love you.”

“Love you, too. And Avery, hang in there.” She hangs up before I can deny my life anymore.

I couldn’t tell her; it’s so embarrassing. The truth is, it’s been torture. Every day, my parents pick and tear away at me. No wonder I never meshed well with other people; they make me feel like I can’t do anything right, that I’m not good enough for them or society.

I am so tired of hearing about how I don’t have the right posture, my clothes look like I’m poor trash, my hair is too stringy, I read too much. I’m too smart for my own good. I love that one; I mean, what parent blames a child for being too smart? The list goes on and on. I look up towards the ceiling and pray someone or something will take me away from all this. I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. They wore me down to nothing all over again.

Later, I find myself putting on the awful dress and styling my hair into a tight bun, just like my mom wanted me to do. I apply a little makeup because lord knows if I put too much on, I’ll look like the slut they think I am.

As soon as I’m downstairs waiting to go, Adam walks into the room I’m sitting in.

“Jesus, Avery, is that how you’re going? You could at least try to look like you’re interested in boys. Is that it, Avery? Are you a lesbian? Is that why you walk around here all day dressed like a hobo, and now you look like an uptight spinster?”

I bow my head in shame; that’s what he does to me.

“Mom picked the dress out and told me to look like this.”

Right then, my mom walks in, looking beautiful. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong with the dress I picked for her?”

Adam covers his attack by saying, “Nothing, darling, it’s not the dress you picked. It’s just Avery. Look at her, Margaret. She’ll never find a husband like this. I think maybe it’s not our preaching. I think maybe Avery might like girls. I mean, that’s all I can think of now. I never met a girl who didn’t care about her appearance in front of men.”

She squints her eyes tight while studying me, then says, “Is he right, Avery? Is that why you fight me every step of the way? Are you into women?”

“No, Mom, I’m not into women, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. If you don’t want me going to the party, that’s fine. I’ll be happy to go back upstairs to my room.”

“Oh no, you don’t, young lady. You are going. I’m tired of people asking about you. You need to make an appearance. We don’t have time for you to change, so this will have to do. Just act pleasant, and please don’t embarrass us. This is important to me and Adam.”

How does she think I’m going to embarrass her? Who does she think I am? I have never struck out or rebelled, even when I should have. I always made good grades and graduated top of my class. I’m still a virgin, and I don’t do drugs, although right now I can see the allure. I don’t understand...what else does she want?