I don’t know why I did that last night. I should have never touched her. Now I can’t quit wanting to touch her again. I know she hates me, but damn it, I don’t care. I left early this morning just to avoid her. Now that I’ve had her, how do I go about living with her like nothing happened?

When I get to work, I start drowning myself in anything I can find to get my mind off Avery. I don’t know how Gabriel managed to do this for so long all by himself. Hours go by as I continue to drown in work.

Zander comes strolling in, right as I’m meeting Gabriel for lunch. We all sit and start eating. I look up and see Zander staring at me with a big shit-eating grin on his face.

“What the hell, man? Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“I’m sitting here waiting for you to crack.”

“Crack what?”

“The truth. Come on, Liam, your big brothers want to know all about your night.”

“You son-of-a-bitch, how do you know?”

Gabriel looks like he’s watching a tennis match. “Know what?”

Zander crosses his hands behind his head and leans back into his chair. “Tell him, Liam. We all what to hear how you managed to sleep with Avery.”

“What? You didn’t, Liam?”

“What is that supposed to mean, Gabriel?”

“I mean, was she ready? And how? I thought she hates you?”

“She does hate me, but she came to my room last night and asked me to help her.” I clear my throat. “She said she wanted to forget that the senator was the last one to touch her. She asked me to take that feeling away. How was I supposed to say no?”

Zander’s still sitting back, and Gabriel’s silent for a second, then he says, “Man, I don’t know, how did it go?”

“Really, Gabriel? You want me to kiss and tell?”

Zander jumps in, “Yes.”

Gabriel tells him, “Shut up.” He then addresses me. “I don’t mean every step. I meant how were able to get her to relax enough? They say rape victims have a hard time with being touched for quite some time.”

“At first I moved too fast, but shit, she felt so good. She cried and pushed me away, then ran off, saying she couldn’t. Well, I followed her. I saw how much she needed to be free of him, so I allowed her to tie me up and take control. I let her do what she wanted.”

“Oh fuck, that’s good.”

“Shut up, Zander.”

Zander says, “I’m just saying, I don’t think I could ever let a woman tie me up.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like she knew how to tie it right; my hands were free the whole time. You know how hard it was not to touch her?”

“Your hands were up the whole time?” Zander questions.

“No, eventually I had to help her. Shit, that’s enough.”

Gabriel now asks, “So, what now?”

“Now, nothing. She told me she still hated me and asked me to leave.”

Zander shakes his head. “Oh, man, that’s cold. It had to hurt.”

“Yeah, it did. Now I don’t know what to do. Every time I’m going to see her, I’m going to want her.”

Gabriel says, “I don’t know. I know once I had Fallon, there was no going back.”

“I don’t know why I talk to either of you. Don’t y’all have any suggestions?”

Gabriel asks, “Well, do you want her now as part of the family or what?”

“No, I don’t think I can involve her more than she is already. The only thing that helps is that she still has no clue what we actually do.”

Gabriel shrugs his shoulders. “Fallon knows, and she’s fine with it.”

“Yeah, but Fallon was made for you. Avery’s not like us, she wouldn’t want to be tied to this kind of life. I can’t do that to her. She needs to live a good life on the right side of the law. If she knew half the shit we do, it would scare her too much.”

Gabriel states, “I don’t know, Liam. Avery is pretty resilient. She handled way more than most women, and she’s still standing.”

“That’s even more reason not to give her any more shit to deal with.”

Zander pipes in, “Well, you shouldn’t have to worry about it much longer. She has a friend coming.”

I laugh. “Well, like Gabriel said, he’s probably nothing. I mean, if she didn’t want him before, he can’t be shit. Can you imagine some poor little guy begging for her attention? He probably can’t get any woman, and Avery’s so nice, she might not be able to tell him she’s not interested.”

“Maybe so? All right, guys, I gotta go.” Zander stands.

Gabriel asks, “Zander, before you go, any news on Murphy Larussa? How’s he holding up?”

“Not well, Gabriel. It really is sad. I’ll let you know when I find out more.”

I know my brother. Gabriel will not push Murphy on the debt he owes us. He’ll wait till after he has passed away to make a move on Murphy’s casino.

Gabriel and I finish eating and return to work.