The next morning during breakfast I think about how I told Liam to go and how I felt about Phil possibly being the one. I thought he would put up more of a fight, but he just said he wants me to be happy and left. I should have known. He says he loves me, but he has never loved me enough to keep me. Tomorrow my future could be beginning, and Liam has to remain in my past forever.

After eating breakfast, I meet Catherine in her office.

“Hey, you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, Avery, come in and close the door. So, your friend is coming today?”

“I hope that’s still all right. He could stay somewhere else.”

“No, no. I talked to your mother, she said we can all meet tonight at the casino for supper. I made reservations for everyone tonight at eight.”

“Thank you, Catherine. I’m sure Phil will love the casino. Is that all you wanted?”

I go to stand, and she says, "No, there is something else. I wanted to see if you were interested in working for me on a trial basis?”

“I’d love to, Catherine. I would do anything for you. What is it?”

“I have a side business I operate with Fallon. I would like to bring you into it, but not now. So, I need you not to ask too many questions. Do you think you can do that?”

“Is it legal?”

“Does it matter?”

“No, I guess it doesn’t, Catherine. After all you’ve done for me, I wouldn’t care how illegal it was. I hope you know I’m going to be loyal to you, no matter what.”

“I hoped you would say that, Avery. I have some investments I would like you to look into. I feel like my man is not putting his all into his work anymore and maybe taking a pinch for himself. I need your education to be put to work and find any discrepancies. I just need you to look at the numbers and not ask questions about the people or where the money comes from.”

“Not a problem.”

She smiles and then starts gathering everything I need to begin my work. I think about asking her something that’s been on my mind for a long time.

“Catherine, can I ask you something personal?”

“We’ll see if I answer. What is it?”

“The night I took your gun from your safe, I tried all kinds of combinations. Then I thought about one combination I might know. Liam’s birthday. Why is Liam’s birthday the combination for the lock, and not one of your other sons?” She leans back in her chair and considers whether or not to answer me. I tell her, “Don’t worry about it, Catherine, it’s none of my business.”

I go to stand, and I hear her say, “Sit down, Avery. I’m going to tell you something that again only one other person alive knows. It’s that serious that you must never repeat it. Do you understand?”

I nod, and she continues.

“I told you some of my story, but not all. Later in my marriage, my husband started raping me. It was the only way he could perform anymore with me. He had to have that sick control.”

“Catherine, you don’t have to tell me. I don’t need to know.”

“No, I want you to listen. You put your faith and trust in me, so I’m going to trust you. One night he raped me, and I thought about killing him. I was close to doing it, but something wouldn’t let me. I think because he was my children’s father, it was the only reason I kept his sorry ass alive. I then turned on myself. I figured if I couldn’t kill him, I would kill myself. It was the weakest moment in my life. I couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and I needed one of our lives to end. I tried, Avery, I really did, but I couldn’t. That night, I cried and cried.”

She opens her drawer and pulls out an old rosary.

“I even prayed God would take me, I begged him to give me the strength to kill myself. But for some reason, God didn’t see fit to answer my prayers. He wouldn’t let me go down like that. Later, I found out why. I was pregnant with Liam; my sweet angel was conceived from that night. That’s why I call him my angel. He’s the reason God didn’t allow me to die that night. He sent me an angel. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Liam, I knew I was sent here to love my children and I would survive no matter what.”

We’re both crying now. She begins again.

“I know Fallon told you the story of her mother and the senator. When I found out Laura was pregnant and told her, she wanted to abort the baby. I knew I couldn’t let her do that; she didn’t know yet how much love that child could bring her. But I did, because of Liam. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to see my children grow up to be the men they are. I wouldn’t be here to see my grandchild. He is my angel. Do you understand? The reason I have him as the combination of that safe is because that gun was purchased for me after he was born. That gun helped me learn how to release some of my pain. Someone taught me just like I taught you.”

“Yes, Catherine, I understand.”

“I trust you won’t tell anyone, especially Liam. I don’t want him to know of the pain I suffered the night he was conceived, to know he came from rape. Please don’t ever tell him. I see what it did to him when he found you and saw you that way. He wouldn’t be able to be my angel anymore if he knew Avery. Never tell him.”

“I won’t, Catherine. I understand what that could do to him, and we might not be together, but I would never let him hurt that way. He couldn’t live with that. I owe him too much to ever hurt him like that.”

“Thank you, Avery. I hope now you can understand why I pushed you so hard. I never wanted you to be as weak as I was that night. I need you to live. Your nightmare is finished; mine lasted for years. If I could do it, so could you.”

“I love you, Catherine, I do. You have been more of a mother to me than my own has ever been. Without you, I don’t know what I would have done.”

I’m crying so hard now, so Catherine gets up and comes around to get me. She holds me close on the sofa and says, “I love you, too, Avery. I will always be here for you. Hush now. We have a wonderful day planned, and we are alive to enjoy it. And that’s what I plan to do.” I slow my crying, and she wipes my face, saying, “You promise me to live it to the fullest?”

“I promise.”

“Good. Now go, figure my books out and then get ready. I have something special for you tonight.”

I gather the files and the hard drive she has for me to go over and leave her. In my room, I start crying again. I understand why now she pushed me so hard, and thank God, she did.