CHAPTER FIVE
Allison
Holy Shit!!!
I mean, I knew all about this town and what was here before I even started this journey, but I didn’t think they’d find me that quickly. I hadn’t even been there a day.
Burke had explained the whole reason why he’d picked this place was because the town was pretty much protected by the Steel Paragons Motorcycle Club. Yep, bikers. And judging by the way three of them just pushed their way into the house, they were scary bikers. But then again, was there really any other kind?
As much as I tried to convince myself that I was prepared for their encounter, I wasn’t. My legs shook as they walked in caring my damn dinner like they were entering a buddies house. Then one of them sat down at the table like he owned the place.
I did my best to stand my ground but I was sure he could see the fear in my eyes. The only thing I could think was that I had to get them out before they saw Neiryn. It was one thing for them to know about me, it was another for them to know about my son. If they thought I was just some single girl looking for a new place to live that was alright.
This guy—Axe, his patch indicated, sat there looking like a king at the head of the table, though the table was round, so I wasn’t really sure there was a head. But the point was, he took up the space like it was his.
He wasn’t overly huge and bulky, in fact, he seemed like he was maybe just under six feet tall and enough muscles to handle business but not lift a truck off the ground. I would say he was pleasantly defined. I wasn’t a huge fan of the steroid looking bulk.
Not that that mattered, because in no way did I need to find this guy—or any guy—attractive. I didn’t need anyone else entangled in the mess I was currently in. Though, I couldn’t deny his sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes may have made my breath hitch a bit.
Shaking off the crazy wobbliness that I had in my legs and belly, I steeled myself against his words, which were not all that pleasant. He was a first-rate asshole and I wasn’t sorry to say it. It had me wondering if Burke was right about these guys.
The look in this guy’s eyes was almost terrifying, though his tone seemed conveyed boredom. To say that I couldn’t get a read on him would have been the biggest understatement. And I could have sworn that his pupils dilated when he pulled out his gun. The fear that radiated off of me was unable to be hidden and all I could think about was getting out of this situation for my son.
Then Neiryn’s little voice broke through the tense mood of the room and my heart broke. I could no longer hide my little boy and I felt like a failure because there was no way I could shield him from what was going on right then. He’d seen enough in his short life and I’d hoped that we had put all of that behind us, but here we were, in a new situation with men who held all the power.
I was tired. I was sick of feeling weak and powerless, especially against men. I just wanted to find my inner strength and blow all of the bad stuff away. But sadly, I wasn’t that girl. I’d been too beaten down the last seven years and I had been left a broken shell of the girl I could have been. As much as I wanted to cry and crumble to the ground, I didn’t, only barely holding myself up and the bile back.
I flinched as the chair scraped across the floor, my eyes didn’t leave this Axe guy’s. If he was going to shoot then I was going to be ready to jump in front of the bullet.
But to my surprise, his face flashed with panic as he tucked his gun away, making sure that it was effectively hidden beneath his warn, leather cut. And when Neiryn said daddy with a questioning voice, I knew I had to shift the focus, and quick. These guys couldn’t even have a hint of where I’d come from.
I rushed to pick up Neiryn, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy. The closeness to Axe was overwhelming to my senses. It was like my brain sparked and spazzed out like a short circuit. My nose was suddenly filled with the scent of leather, pure man, and a hint of lingering cigarette smoke. Which should have made my stomach churn, but for some reason on him, it was almost perfection.
I clipped out words about needing to feed my boy barely managing to keep my hard edge as I did. Axe’s eyes met mine and I swallowed back the lump in my throat. He was too close, I needed space but I also didn’t want to seem like I was backing down. Rock meet hard place. Who the hell was this guy? And why did I feel so thrown off by him?
I could have said, without a single doubt, that I’d never felt like I felt at that moment. Sure there was fear, but that fear was mixed with a heavy dose of what I could only describe as attraction. It felt so wrong given my situation and the fact that I had Neiryn in my arms, but my body didn’t seem to get that message as my heart raced and my nipples puckered.
Axe narrowed his eyes at me and I’d never felt so exposed. His head cocked to the side the tiniest bit before he cut his eyes to my son.
“There’s a kid.” He said and I couldn’t quite tell if it was a question or not. The lack of emotion this guy held in his voice was super misleading. But then his brows pinched together and I could read confusion all over his face. “I didn’t know there was a kid.” He cut his eyes over to the one standing just inside the dining room threshold.
I chanced a look and the guy with shaggy, brown hair and brown eyes only shrugged. His shoulders were tight and his stance was rigid. My eyes drifted down his cut to find the name Brand on a fairly clean looking patch. I knew enough to know that this guy must either be pretty fresh off the prospect boat or a neat freak, but I didn’t dare say anything. For all I knew, it was both.
Instead of saying ‘why would you?’ or ‘what does it matter?’ I simply slid past Axe and took his vacated seat. This way I could see all three of them and feed my son at the same time. Sure, that pretty much had me backed into a corner, but I had a feeling in my gut that they weren’t going to hurt me. At least, not while my son was around.
Knowing I didn’t have any plates, I began to tear up a slice into little pieces, making sure it wasn’t too hot for Neiryn to eat. He grabbed at a piece, seeming unaffected by the men standing around.
“Would you like some?” I said in a surprisingly calm tone. I looked at each of them, catching the patch of the third one. He was a prospect and as my eyes met his black ones, he gave a small nod but didn’t make a move away from blocking the front door. Not that I would have expected anything different.
“Thanks,” Brand said as he stepped forward and snagged a piece.
“We don’t get too many new faces around here,” Axe said, picking up the slice that he had taken before.
“I was driving through and I thought this town looked like a nice place to stay for a while,” I said. My shoulders didn’t relax as I sat there trying my best to sound casual. I could tell that he picked up on the whole thing.
Man, I would make a terrible spy.
“Where ya from?” Axe asked and I got the feeling he held the most power out of the three of them. Then again, from the patches on his cut, I could tell he was an Enforcer. Clearly, he was an officer in the club and therefore had more pull than the other two, especially the prospect.
A chill ran through my spine just thinking about his position. I didn’t want to imagine the things that he had to do as an Enforcer, the things that he had to see.
Instead of letting my head drive itself in that direction, I focused on Neiryn and making sure he wasn’t shoving too much into his mouth at once.
“Dink,” my little boy said, breaking the crazy tension and saving me from having to answer. I went to stand up, holding him close as I did, but Axe shot up out of his seat before I could.
“I’ll get it. What…uh, does he drink?” he asked, almost looking lost at what to do.
“There is some juice on the counter, and a clean sippy cup in the bag next to the couch.”
My eyes followed his every movement. His jeans were worn and looked soft. They hung low on his hips and when he bent over to retrieve the cup, his shirt slipped up and I could see the black band of his underwear.
I licked my bottom lip without even realizing it. Brand cleared his throat, drawing my attention to him. He leaned back against the wall, his slice completely gone now. He smirked when my eyes met his, letting me know that what had just happened hadn’t gone unseen.
Damn.
I needed to get myself together. I couldn’t let these guys rattle me. But that was easier said than done, because clearly, Axe was shaking me in a way I would never have expected. The worst thing was, I couldn’t help but call attention to it.
Axe came back and slid the cup across the table. Neiryn reached for it and quickly tipped it back. He let out a refreshing sound when he was done and I couldn’t help but smile at how cute he could be. If I wasn’t mistaken, Axe’s lips twitched a bit but I wouldn’t let myself believe it was because he was thinking the same thing I was about my boy.
“Tank ah,” Neiryn said looking at Axe.
“You’re welcome, Lil man,” Axe said with a slight nod to him.
This was the most awkward meal I think I’d ever had, and that was saying something. The pizza was growing cold in front of me, but the hunger I’d had earlier was suddenly gone. My stomach was in knots and the thought of putting food in it left me feeling sick.
Neiryn ate and the room was silent except for the little humming noises he made when he chewed. After he was done I took him to the kitchen and cleaned him up, all the while there was Axe making a point to stand in the doorway, watching me with a hawk’s eye.
I knew I couldn’t hide things from him much longer. He’d made his intentions known and it was a matter of time before he got tired of my silence. I knew I was a terrible liar and I only hoped I could hold it together long enough to give him the tip of the iceberg. I just needed to feed him enough information to satisfy him and keep my cover at the same time.
But there was something about his gaze that made me want to crack completely. Made me want to break down, tell him everything, and hope that he would hold me in the end.
Which was crazy! And I knew it. This guy seemed like he wasn’t the comforting type. Even if I ever entertained the idea of finding someone to spend my life with, Axe was the furthest thing from who that person should be.
The only excuse I could come up with was that I was so fucked up that I had no idea what good was anymore—what right was. The more I thought about it, the more I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.
Maybe I wouldn’t make it out of this normal in the end. But then again, I had no idea what normal was anymore.