CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Axe
With my ass planted on one of the couches and an untouched beer sitting on my knee, I tried my best to look like I wasn’t angry at the world. What had happened in church was getting to me and it was more than obvious that we all were trying to keep our distance from one another.
Diesel had run off, as I had expected, he always seemed eager to get home now that he had Ellie and Fate. Not that I could blame him for that. I mean, I couldn’t say much if I did, because I was ready to go myself and see the damn woman that I’d laid down my name for.
Jessica flopped down on the couch beside me. Her body leaned back on the couch, her shoulders both flat against the cushion. She crossed her legs and it didn’t slip by me that it was in the direction away from me. Nothing about her body said she was trying to make a move. Which, I was thankful for.
“So what? You got yourself an old lady now?” she asked, humor ringing in her tone. “She’s nice. I like her. And that little boy is cute as a button.”
Sure, we’d had this weird off again on again thing the last couple of years, but it didn’t feel like she was making fun of me or trying to work her way in again.
I would have said that I was pretty close to her. After all, she’d seen me at my worst times when we’d been alone in that dark room. She’d been there when I couldn’t run from the flashbacks. The way she was acting right then proved to me that she would always be a good friend. And that was all. Because even as her shoulder playfully bumped into mine, I didn’t feel anything. No spark. No electricity. No urge to find a way to keep touching her.
She wasn’t trying to make me feel like shit over the whole thing and that was what I needed most at that moment. She also wasn’t trying to change my mind. She was respecting me and in return, I would always respect her.
“Maybe I’m fuckin’ nuts or something,” I said, shifting the beer bottle around on my knee. “I just can’t explain it. She does chick things to my insides.” A small laugh slipped past my lips. “And that little boy…can’t say no to that cute as fuck kid.”
“Awww. This is so precious,” she said half-jokingly as she slapped her hand over her heart dramatically. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep that last part to myself. But for real, Axe, I’m happy for you. I can tell she does something to you…I see the change in you. I kinda like it.”
Jessica’s eyes followed one of the club girls as she walked by. She sneered down at me and I couldn’t have even given two shits.
“Seems like the claws are out tonight,” Jessica said as she narrowed her eyes at the bitch. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep them in check.” She laughed.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said with a half smile.
“Why don’t you get outta here. I think you’ve been around long enough tonight to let it be known you haven’t abandoned us,” she said, her eyes scanning the room. “Boys are probably too drunk by now to notice if you leave anyway. If any of them ask, I’ll just distract them with my pussy.”
I chuckled. Sometimes she could be a bit crazy.
“Thanks. You’re a true friend,” I said rolling my eyes.
I tossed my arm around her and pulled her in for a side hug before I stood. I chucked my untouched beer into one of the big trash cans then headed out the front door. I was going home…only it wasn’t really my home, but every time I walked in that door that was how it fucking felt.
I rolled up into the driveway, my head a spinning mess.
What had I done? How was she going to react to what I chose to do to save her? But really, was that the only reason I’d done it? No. I knew the answer to that question, at least.
A huge part of me was being selfish when I did it. I wanted her, all of her. And I wanted every motherfucker out there to know it. The thing was, she didn’t need someone to make her feel owned and I knew that was how she would perceive it. But that was the last thing I wanted and I wasn’t sure how to make her see that.
Yes, Savage and I were different people, or so I hoped that we were. My claiming her was the complete opposite of his but I wasn’t sure if she’d see it that way. I didn’t want her mad, I just wanted her safe and standing by my side.
The house was dark when I walked in the back door. The stairs were lit up by the light in the upstairs hall. I made the climb, as quiet as a damn mouse.
When I reached her bedroom doorway, the soft glow illuminated her body. She was curled up around Lil man who was in the middle of the bed. A smile tugged at my lips as I made my way into the bedroom. I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the bed. Neiryn’s soft snores filled the room as I brushed my finger over his hair.
Her eyes opened and immediately looked into mine. I reached my hand over and cradled the side of her face as I rubbed my thumb back and forth over the soft skin of her cheek.
“Axe,” she whispered.
“Shhh,” I said, cutting off the questions that I knew were coming. “Just let me have this perfect moment a little longer.” My finger made its way into Neiryn’s hand and as soon as I touched his palm, he had a death grip around me.
After a while, I gently picked Neiryn up and carried him down the hall to his crib. Once I was sure he wasn’t going to wake, I headed back to Allison.
When I reached the room, she was sitting up, her back against the headboard. Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and she was nervously chewing on it.
I sat down in front of her, one knee bent so I could face her, and my calf rested on top of her bare toes.
“Don’t sugar coat it, Axe. Just tell me what happened. I need to know my fate right now.” Her voice held a hint of fear and all I wanted to do was kiss her and make it go away.
“Darlin’,” I said as I wrapped my hands around her naked calves right under her knees. I massaged the tense muscles trying to get her to relax. “You knew I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you. To do that, I had to do something. I don’t want you to be pissed, just hear me out. Okay?”
She gave me a timid nod and I took that as my cue to keep going.
“I claimed you. You are under my protection as well as the clubs now. Things were getting heated and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, so I did what I needed to do to keep you and Neiryn safe.”
Her face remained impassive as I rambled on. After a moment her legs relaxed and fell open and she leaned forward. I stared into her eyes, her face only inches from mine.
“Do you mean it?” She whispered, her tone gave nothing away and I was confused.
“What?” I asked.
“Claiming someone isn’t something that is done lightly.”
Don’t I fuckin’ know it.
“Dammit, woman, I did what had to be done,” I growled in frustration. Why couldn’t she see that?
“Did you mean it?” she asked again and it was as if her eyes were drilling holes into mine. Was I missing something here?
“Yes,” I breathed out knowing I couldn’t lie to her even if I wanted to.
“You want me?” This time her voice cracked and I could see tears gathering in her eyes. The uncertainty of her tone broke my damn heart. How could she not see how fucking amazing and special she was?
“All of you,” I said and my voice didn’t waver with my answer. “I want damn pancake breakfasts. I want to take Lil man to the park and teach him how to work on bikes.” My thumb jutted in the direction of his room as I said it.
I sounded more frustrated as the words went on and I couldn’t tell if it was the fact that I felt every single thing or that she just wasn’t getting it. I took in a calming breath before I continued.
“You drive me insane with your tough as nails attitude, and your sweet as fuckin’ pie soul. And those fuck-me doe-eyes get me every goddamn time.” There was no sense in holding back now. “The thought of someone else touching you makes my blood boil. So, yeah, I fucking claimed you, so everyone else would know that all this shit is mine. No one better fuck with you or they’ll have me to deal with.”
Her eyes held a softness as she raised up on her knees. Her fingers slipped under my cut and then she slid it down my arms. Her feet hit the floor then she walked over and laid my cut out on top of the dresser.
Fuck, she was so fucking perfect. In one simple move, she showed me how much respect she had for me and what I stood for. If I had any doubts about my decision, they went out the damn window right then.
I grabbed her hips as she moved back to the bed. Without hesitation, I pulled her down into my lap, her legs easily straddled me.
“If you want to let me go after all of this is over, I will understand,” she whispered against my skin.
“The hell? I’m never letting you go,” I growled before taking her mouth with mine.
“Wait, are you sure?” she said as she broke the kiss. “Because it’s not just me you’re getting.”
“Shut up, bitch,” I said in a playful tone.
I knew it wasn’t maybe the best thing to call her, but hell, that’s what she was. My bitch. My fucking woman. But then she smiled and I knew she got me.
“I said all of you. I fuckin’ meant all of you. And yes, I know what that means. If you can’t see that little boy doesn’t already have me wrapped around his damn finger, then you must be blind.”
A small sigh of relief escaped her lips and I swooped in and kissed her again. I pulled her closer to me and her fingers dug into my shoulders. As messed up as it may have been, I loved the feeling of her nails cutting into my skin.
“I need you right now,” I said my voice deep and raw with lust.
“Please,” she whispered as she pulled off my shirt.
I kissed down her neck then quickly whipped her shirt over her head. She reached around and unclasped her bra, then tossed it to the floor.
“So fucking beautiful,” I breathed against her skin.
Leaning forward, I pushed her body back onto the bed. My lips ghosted over her skin until I met her hard nipple. I swirled my tongue around it before taking it into my mouth. She moaned as her hand slapped against the back of my head like she was holding me to her. Her back bowed, pushing her breast into my mouth. I sucked harder and lightly bit the peaked nub.
“Mark me,” she moaned out and I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right. But then her fingers gripped my hair so hard I felt a tingle on my scalp. Fuck, this woman was going to be the death of me.
My mouth ripped away from her breast as I lifted my head to look at her. Her eyes were open and on me, the blue shining bright.
“Make me yours,” she pleaded.
I couldn’t deny her. She was with me and she wanted this. I was trying my hardest to take it easy, to hold back all the fucked up things I had in my head, but she was pushing me like she knew what was there.
“Let go, Axe.” Her voice didn’t break or crack as she spoke. “Let me give you what you crave.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for. I…I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, unsure if she realized what she was really asking of me. “I don’t know if I can stop once I start.”
Her hands moved to cradle my face and I had to force my eyes to stay on hers. I was scared and maybe even a bit ashamed of what I wanted, what I envisioned doing to her.
“I want all of you,” she said like she knew what the fuck she was getting into, like she knew what she was asking for. “I crave all of you.”
In the blink of an eye, I pulled her shorts down and tossed them aside. My eyes roamed her body as I peeled her panties away. I couldn’t get my clothes off fast enough. The urge to touch her, to fucking take her, was too strong.
I grabbed a condom out of my back pocket and set it on the bed. Then I kissed my way down her neck, down her chest, and licked the swell of her breast. My teeth sank into the tender flesh and she let out a moan as her back arched off of the bed. I continued to suck and bite until her skin felt like fire against my tongue.
My fingers skimmed down her body, settling between her legs. She didn’t flinch or shy away. My fingers slid through her folds only to find that she was fucking drenched for me.
“I need you, Axe,” she moaned as her fingers gripped my hair. “I need you to fuck me.”
“No,” I said as I kissed my way down to her pussy. The sweet scent of her desire filled my nose and I couldn’t wait any longer. “I need to taste you, baby.”
I buried my face in her pussy. Her juices coated my tongue and it was the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted. Every part of her was amazing.
Once she was writhing so hard and begging for more, I pulled away. I was going to let her cum, but only when I was buried deep inside of her. I had to watch her, to witness how beautiful she was when she let go.
I snatched up the condom and sheathed my pulsing, hard cock as fast as my shaking hands would allow. I was fucking nervous and a little scared, I could admit that. I’d never wanted something this bad in my life and I wanted to do right by her. I wanted to please her more than anything. I wanted to fucking make her fall apart.
“Fuck me, now, please,” she said as she reached for me.
Her legs went around my waist and her heels dug into my ass. I started slowly, pushing in with the resistance of a saint. But then she was bucking and forcing me inside her as fast as possible. So I did what she wanted, I let the fuck go.
“Give it to me, Axe. I need it,” she pleaded.
Her nails raked down my back causing me to bow back from the slight sting. Fuck it felt amazing. My fingers dug into her hip and I resisted the urge to close my eyes. I knew I would bruise her delicate skin, hell I was counting on it.
Her eyes looked into mine and I felt like she could read my soul. I didn’t want to look away, yet I was terrified of this moment that had been building for a long time.
She was close, I could feel it, but it was like her climax was hanging there just out of reach. I fucked her harder, the sound of our flesh slapping together filled the air.
“I’m…I’m so close, Axe,”
“I know baby.”
I gave it all I had but for some reason, she was holding out.
“Axe. Axe.” There was an edge to her tone that made me think that she was pleading for something.
My eyes briefly closed and all I could see were the things I wanted to do to her. The way I wanted to fucking mark her and make her mine.
“Give me all of you,” her voice floated into my ears.
“Fuck!” I growled. I was breaking. I was losing control. I knew there would be no coming back after this but I could no longer deny her…or myself.
My hand slipped up her body. Her head tilted back as my fingers reached her throat. All I could think was how wrong this should have been, but yet it felt so fucking right.
And just like a switch being turned on, I fucking snapped.
My fingers closed around her throat and tightened just enough to where I could feel her swallow against my palm. My hips moved faster, pistoning in and out of her at a punishing speed. Her pussy quivered around me as my fingers tightened around her neck. Then she was squeezing the life out of my cock, making it almost impossible to move. My cock swelled and my balls drew up.
“Fuck, Allison, God mother fucking damn.” I roared.
My vision blurred and spots danced on the outer rim of my eyes as a tingle worked its way up from my damn toes.
Her moan was strangled as it squeaked out of her. Her fingers dug into my back as she came hard around my cock. With one last thrust, I came right behind her. Jet after jet spurted out, filling the condom as I buried myself as deep as possible inside of her.
I pulled my hand back immediately. I wanted to scream and lose my shit. How could I have done that? She trusted me and look what the fuck I did.
“Axe,” she whispered, catching my attention. Her voice was harsh and raw. And even if it was wrong as hell, I thought it was so fucking sexy. “You were my first and you were perfect.”
I was sure I’d heard her wrong. I mean, she had a kid so obviously, I wasn’t her first. And not to mention all the shit she’d been through the last seven years. She must have caught my look of confusion and her sweet laugh filled the air.
“I’ve never been with anyone that I’ve wanted to be with before.”
Her confession filled the air with a heavy thickness. Instead of focusing on all the bad shit that had happened to her, I chose to see the beauty in it that she did. I leaned down and kissed the fuck out of her, letting her know how much this meant to me as well.
“I love you,” I said before my brain was fully functioning again. I paused, frozen in shock.
And yes she noticed.
But then the wheels started turning in my head and I realized that it wasn’t something that had just slipped out in the heat of the moment. So, I kissed her again, then pulled back to look into her eyes, and repeated those damn words, making sure she knew that I meant them.
“I love you,” I said, my voice strong and reassuring.
Her smile could have lit up the room.
“I was yours the first time you touched me,” she admitted and even in the dim light, I could see the pink spread across her cheeks.
I slowly and hesitantly pulled out of her. A long sigh escaped her lips as I did. I ran to the bathroom, took care of the condom and cleaned up. Then I took a warm washcloth and wiped her clean. I was going to take care of her in every way possible.
After tossing the washcloth in the hamper, I pulled on my boxers. Her brows knit together in the cutest way.
“I’m gonna go check on Lil man. Need to make sure we didn’t wake him,” I said before bending down and planting a soft kiss on her lips.
Neiryn was fine. It looked like the little guy hadn’t even moved from the position I had set him down in. I smiled and ran my hand over his back. His snores faltered but he didn’t stir.
Then I went back to bed and my woman. I wrapped every inch of me that I could around her and passed the fuck out.