CHAPTER EIGHT
Axe
I would like to have been able to say that the next day brought some kind of breakthrough, but it was the fucking opposite. She clammed the fuck up and spent the day doing her best to avoid and ignore me. I didn’t leave the house, and while I didn’t follow her around watching her every move, I did have my eyes on her the entire time.
I should have pushed her but for some reason, I just didn’t have it in me to do so. I wanted to blame it on the fact that there was a kid there. A kid, who seemed to be holding onto my every move. Whenever we were in the same room, his tiny baby blues were glued to me.
Allison found some cleaning stuff under the sink in the bathroom and she spent the morning scrubbing down every surface she could think of. I watched with silent amusement as she dragged that kid jail into every room as she cleaned it. It was like she didn’t want the kid out of her sight, not that I could blame her. She didn’t know dick about me and I hadn’t exactly been friendly.
Finally around four in the afternoon, she stopped her frantic lame excuse to keep busy. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, Neiryn toddling around her legs while she seemed unfazed. Her eyes pinned me with a hard look and I did my best not to chuckle. She was a damn firecracker but I had a feeling that once she cracked it might be the end of it all.
That was what worried me the most. I could tell there was something up with her. I had enough sense in me to see that she was running from something—or someone. It brought me back to my childhood and my mother. I knew first hand how an abused woman acted. I’d spent years with one, and even though I was a kid, I saw through my mom’s carefully placed façade. I saw how she was always right there on the edge and I was constantly waiting for the moment she snapped.
I couldn’t risk that with Allison. So I gave her the day to stand her ground or whatever. I gave her the time to let her think that she had the control. Instead of feeling like I somehow had an advantage over the situation, I found myself wanting her to be comfortable with me. I didn’t want to push or mentally beat her into telling me everything. In my chest, I felt this weird sensation like I needed her to want to tell me. I felt this deep itch in my soul that I wanted her to trust me enough to open up to me.
But sitting there staring at the fire blazing in her eyes, I had my doubts that it would ever happen.
“I need to shower,” she said with displeasure dripping off her tongue.
“Okay. Do what you gotta do, babe,” I said, flipping through the channels even though my attention wasn’t on whatever was on the screen.
“You need to leave.”
“Nope,” I said shooting her a smug smirk.
“I…I don’t feel comfortable…leaving Neiryn while you’re here,” she said with a hint of regret in her tone.
I got that. I was a stranger. A stranger that had his fingers deep inside of her last night. Just thinking back to that moment had my dick pulsing in my pants. Fuck! I needed to get a hold of myself.
“I won’t do anything to him. You could just leave him down here with me. Me and Lil man can watch some cartoons or some shit.” I smiled trying my best to get her to relax.
Her head shook as she looked down at her boy.
“Look, I’m not goin’. So, you can look into my eyes and see that I’m not going to do anything to him while you take a shower or you can stress the fuck out, get yourself all worked up, and make this harder on all of us. I’m sure he can sense your uneasiness and it’s only going to make him more upset.” I was pulling shit out of my ass because I didn’t have the first clue on how kids worked.
However, my words seemed to make her pause. I could see the back and forth playing out in her head, and I wanted to open my mouth and tell her this wasn’t a war she was going to win. But I didn’t, I sucked in a deep breath and bit my damn tongue.
“Fine,” she said hesitantly. “I’m choosing to believe you.”
Eh, that was close enough to trust, right?
“Come here, Lil man,” I said as I looked at him and patted the cushion beside me.
He looked up to his mom then back at me. With uncoordinated legs, he made his way over to me and tried to climb onto the couch. I reached down, picked him up, and gently plopped him down beside me. He smiled up at me and patted my leg. I let out a little laugh and ruffled his hair. Surprising the shit outta me, he scooted closer and leaned against my arm. Without even thinking about what the hell I was doing, I moved my arm around him and hugged him close to my body.
“See, we’re good,” I said moving my gaze back to Allison.
“Yep, good,” the little kid said mimicking the look on my face as he looked over to his mom.
“Oh great, you two are going to gang up on me now,” she said with little irritation in her tone. All I could do was smirk at her. I liked seeing her ruffled. I liked getting under her skin. It should have been so wrong, but it felt so fucking right. “I won’t be long.”
She raced up the stairs and I swear it wasn’t even ten minutes later she was coming back down, her wet hair soaking the top of her shirt. She sat down on the other side of Neiryn and I could see the tension tight in her shoulders. She wouldn’t allow herself to relax, but I felt like I was getting somewhere because she had gotten somewhat close to me.
“I need to make dinner,” she said a little bit later.
Her bottom lip was in between her teeth as she nervously nibbled on it. I wanted more than anything to make her stop. Hell, I wanted to be the one biting it.
“Okay, we’re good here for a bit. Right buddy?”
“Yep,” he said nodding his head but not looking away from the TV.
“I, um…I don’t have anything to cook…or to cook with,” she said looking a bit sad about it.
I hadn’t thought about that. I peeked in the kitchen last night and saw that she had a bunch of dry goods, but nothing in the fridge. I also imagined there weren’t any pots and shit to actually cook with either.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my phone. Her eyes watched my every movement. I fired off a text to Diesel, knowing his woman would have the shit Allison might need, and probably extras just lying around. Ellie liked to cook and Diesel was always buying her new shit she could use to cook and bake with.
“What do you need from the grocery store?” I asked pulling up Brand’s contact info. I knew he was overseeing the prospects while Tank was gone, so he could send one of them to the store for me.
She rattled off a list of shit and I typed it out as fast as she was saying it. When it seemed like she was done, I looked up at her.
“That it?” She nodded but I could tell there was something else, only she didn’t want to say it. “Just tell me, if you need it, I’ll get it for you.”
The weight of those words was so much heavier than just this moment. I knew deep down inside there was a freaky feeling that whatever she needed, whenever, I’d fucking get it for her.
Shit! As I looked into her deep eyes I realized I was fucking fucked. This damn chick blew into my life when I’d least expected it. Right in the middle of the fucking shit storm going on with the club, no less. And from the second I’d actually looked at her, it was like I’d gotten punched in the gut. I’d known this woman only a day and I suddenly felt like I was about to hand over my balls. Serve them right up on a diamond encrusted platter for her.
“Vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, and peanut butter,” she said with a cute as hell wistful sigh.
“Definitely,” I said, a soft smile turning up at the corner of my lips.
Damn, I was a goner. Only, I couldn’t let her know it. I couldn’t let anyone know it. If Cal found out, he would not only be disappointed in me, he’d pull me off and send someone to replace me. I couldn’t risk that. While I knew none of us would actually hurt them, I wouldn’t take the chance of leaving them both unprotected.
Turned out Brand himself was at the store when I’d send him the text. He also swung by D’s house and picked up a few things for the kitchen. It wasn’t much, but it would work until I could send someone to the next town over to stock up on all the shit she needed. Then a damn idea popped into my head, and before I could stop myself, I was sending Diesel another text.
Brand seemed to set her at ease, though I could see why. The ink master sure had a boyish charm to him and I could see how his face and deep dimples threw off the fact that he was just like the rest of us. She seemed to like him so much that she told him to stay for dinner, which of course, the asshole did. I wanted to be mad at him, but as I took a bite of the meatloaf she’d made, I was in heaven and totally forgot that I was irritated. Goddamn, that shit was amazing.
She even made Brand run a plate out to the prospect.
When she let her guard down, she was really fucking beautiful. Inside and out. I could see she was warmhearted and soft. The kind of soft that made a man want to wrap her up in his arms and protect her with his life.
But I wasn’t that kind of person. As much as I could have hoped to be, I just wasn’t. When I really thought about it, I realized that I was too fucked up to ever be good for someone, let alone a woman with a kid.
While Brand was there, I ran up and took a quick shower. Luckily, I had an extra set of clothes still in my saddlebag from when we’d gone to Gray Fort. I didn’t realize how gross I was until I started to scrub myself.
That night, I let her go up to bed without any protest. Her feet were dragging as she cleaned up after dinner and I decided to let her get some rest.
I tossed and turned all night thinking about how sexy she was. The sounds and images of her coming for me bounced around my head. I could tell, without a shadow of doubt, that she’d never come like that before. It made me wonder what the hell kind of sexual encounters she’d had before if it was simply my fingers that could do that to her.
Then my thoughts ran wild, imagining what she tasted like and how fucking good I could make her feel as I buried my dick deep inside her tight cunt.
The whole night I felt like all I did was shift around on that couch trying to find a comfortable position where my dick didn’t feel like it wanted to rip right through my pants.
I heard Neiryn stir on and off all night long. A few times he cried out and a second later, I heard Allison’s sweet voice talking to him, calming him down. I didn’t know anything about kids, so I wasn’t sure if that was normal. This would have been about the time I would’ve called up Tank and asked him for kid advice, but that wasn’t an option. And it wouldn’t be ever again.
The thought of what happened to his boy, Logan, had me pissed off, and by the time the sun rose and bathed the living room in light, I was tired, cranky, and too mixed up in my own head to think straight.