CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Allison
The searing pain of my flesh being sliced open pulled me out of my unconscious state. And because my guard was temporarily down, I let out the scream of all screams.
For just a second, I gave him the satisfaction that he was looking for.
And I hated myself for it.
Savage bent down to my level, his dark eyes looking into mine and that evil smirk plastered on his face.
“Ahhh, there it is.” His maniacal laugh filtered through my ears as the ringing subsided. “There’s the fear. I spent years trying to bring that out of you again. I got a glimpse of it once and it wasn’t enough.”
He pulled the knife back slowly and I felt the blood rush down my thigh. I didn’t have to look to know that it was just a fraction away from the last one.
“I think that was where I went wrong with you. The shipping container.” He tisked and shook his head. “For some reason, being in there took the fear right out of you. But that look you got in your eyes when I took you from your pops. Mmm. That moment when you realized that there was no way out and you were so terrified that it locked up your whole body. Yes, that moment I will never forget. So much time wasted trying to bring that look back into your eyes.”
The air swooshed as the blade cut through it, right before it sliced into my arm. I gritted my teeth and tried to block out the pain. I woke alert, being stabbed would do that to you, and so he wasn’t going to catch me off guard again.
For a second, I wanted to give up. I thought about what I really had left to live for. I wasn’t sure if Neiryn had made it, or even Axe, but I knew that if my little boy had, then he would be taken care of.
But then Axe’s voice started to whisper in my ear and I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was a bit delusional at this point.
You always fucking fight.
So fuck Savage and whatever sick game he wanted to play. It may be my end, but I won’t give him one more ounce of satisfaction until I took my last breath.
“What’s it going to take, huh?” This time the knife penetrated my upper arm.
My body jerked but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I closed my eyes and smiled.
“The fuck is wrong with you?”
For him to ask me that made me pause. Was I crazier than him? Perhaps, I could definitely see that with all that I’d been through. Maybe it was the brief freedom that finally had sent me over the edge. Was I as evil as him? No, I would never let that happen.
“You are nothing but a sick, sick man with a need to make people feel worse than you do on the inside.” The words tumbled out of my mouth like an insane rant. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to taunt someone like him, especially when I was tied up with no way to defend myself. “What was it? Daddy didn’t love you enough when you were a boy? Or Mommy? Did she not tuck you in and kiss you goodnight? Or was it that she loved you a little too much?”
That one hit home. With a roar, he stabbed me in the side. I didn’t regret saying it until the pain made the bile rise up my throat.
“He won’t come for you, Allison. They are too scared to come after me.”
His words were full of anger and a hint of uncertainty. He wanted to be right, but I knew he could feel it coming. The only thing I hoped was that they would attack before he realized just how unprepared he was. I would bet my left eye that he had a club full of men who thought they were on top like him. That thought they were untouchable.
The knife made a clink sound as it hit the table. I knew he wasn’t done and the sad thing was, that no matter what his fingers touched next, I had already been introduced to it before. Nothing would be new. No pain he could bring me would be fresh.
A smile stretched wide on his face as he nodded to himself. Then he looked at me and walked across the room. The high powered sprayer turned on and within seconds I was drenched and cold.
I knew what was next.
I hated what was next.
And I thought that this might be the one to break me.
The charged current crackled through the air as he tested the electric cattle prod. I sucked in a deep breath as I waited for him to finish taunting me.
Then it came. I had sense enough to wrap my hands around the chains that held them up but it didn’t help all that much. My body violently jerked and trembled. My teeth clattered together so hard I was sure they were going to chip and crack. And I prayed like hell that I wouldn’t end up biting through my tongue.
My body stopped moving, though the pain was still there. I sucked in a deep breath and prepared for the same thing all over again. All I could hope for was that he would get bored of my non-reactions and give up soon.
Only he didn’t stop, and my body finally decided it had taken enough and I passed out.
“Wake up, bitch!” His voice filtered in my ears the same time more water covered my body. This time it was mixed with ice. I was so cold at this point I couldn’t help but tremble. “Look at me, I’m not done yet. You don’t get to pass out.”
His anger was rising and I could feel him slipping out of control. If this kept up one of two things would happen. He would kill me or he’d get flustered enough to trip up and then I might be able to get away. Hell, maybe I could take him out. Only I wished that was the case. I knew I couldn’t kill him, not until Burke had what he needed. If it wasn’t for that, I had no doubts in my mind that Savage would already be dead.
“You loved it when I fucked you. Admit it!” he screamed in my face. Spit flew off of his bottom lip and landed on my chest. “You loved it each and every time I used you. Because that’s what whores like, to be used and treated like shit. Was that the problem? Was I not rough enough for you?”
He stood tall and I didn’t move my face to look at him. I felt numb, physically and mentally. His words meant nothing to me, they never had. But being chained up for so long had started to take its toll on me. His foot reared back and I caved my body in anticipation of the blow. It didn’t make the sharp kick to my stomach hurt any less.
“That’s what I should have done to you when I found out you had that piece of shit in your stomach.”
He kicked me again. I coughed as the air rushed out of my lungs.
“I should have beat you until you bled that thing out between your legs.”
“Why?” I choked out. “Why didn’t you?”
“Because I thought that if you had him then I would have something to hold over you. It would wake you up and I would be able to break you down. You would fucking feel fear!”
That explained it. Only it really didn’t, because you couldn’t explain the inner workings of a mad man’s brain.
It wasn’t that I didn’t feel fear. I felt it every single day I was stuck with him. It was there when I slept, when I woke, every step I took, and every breath I inhaled. For seven years, fear was there every second of every day. Only, I learned to hide it. I created a place in my mind that I could go when the fear became very real and manifested itself in reality. When he was there. When he was on me. When he beat me. And when he touched me.
Maybe I was smart enough to know that if I gave him what he desired he would find another way to bring it out of me. He would up his torture. Though, to be honest, he did it anyway. But I had a huge idea that he was like an addict, once he got what he wanted it wouldn’t be enough. It would never be a great enough reaction to satisfy him.
The door cracked open and the rush of noise made its way into the room. It was then that I realized the room we were in was completely soundproof. And judging by the ruckus that was coming from the other side, it might have just worked in my favor.
“We’ve got a problem,” Burke said as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. His gun was gripped tightly in his hand but the look on his face was cool as ever.
“I hear that,” Savage snapped as he turned his attention to him. “How close are they?”
“Already halfway in. Two-thirds of our men are down. A few did run.”
“How the hell did they get so far in? Why didn’t you come get me sooner?” Savage shook as he yelled at Burke.
“Got back here as fast as I could.” Burke shrugged like there was nothing he could have done.
“I have to get to my office. Stay with her.”
Savage turned to me and I saw it. I saw the fucking panic in his eyes. I smiled wide only causing him to lash out in order to hide his insecurity over the situation. The slap caused my head to whip to the side and when I spit out a mouthful of blood it dribbled down my chin. But it didn’t wipe the smile off of my face.
“He came for me.”
“Don’t make yourself more worthy than you are. He came for me, he used you as an excuse to stop being a pussy.” He spat.
“Awww. Don’t be upset. Just know,” I paused to make sure I had his full attention, “he got something you never got to get.”
He laughed but I didn’t look away from him.
“No. Did you forget that I fucked you first? I broke you in before everyone else had a turn. So, no, he didn’t get anything I haven’t already had.”
“Not true.” With all of my strength, I leaned forward, my shoulders protested the movement. “He got to taste my fear.”
He had no idea what exactly I meant by that, but he didn’t need to know. And judging by how he looked like he was shaking with rage, I knew my words had gotten to him. His lips turned into a snarl as he stormed out the door.
It was true, Axe had tasted my fear. My fear of loving someone. My fear of letting go. My fear of never feeling like I could be worth something. My fear that I was too broken to be normal.
He had tasted them all and he had shown me how much he loved it.