“It’s a pity I cannot ask you to marry me,” Iesu declared that night as they shared a cold supper of leftovers.

Ray snorted. “Why is that?”

“My parents would probably buy us a house or something just to make sure I didn't let you get away,” his mate explained, beaming.

Ray tsked. “Too bad you haven't let me get away,” he joked.

“We do have a house,” Sergi mentioned from Iesu's other side.

Iesu turned to him at once and threw an arm around his neck to bring him closer and press a loud smooch to his cheek. “Oh, are you jealous?” he asked, sounding absolutely delighted.

Sergi pushed him away, but Ray thought Iesu might not be far off.

“They would hardly choose me over Sergi,” Ray said. “I didn't realise you could actually have a conversation in Romanian.”

Sergi shrugged at him. “Just, like, how are you and stuff like that.”

“Well, they looked damn impressed, let me tell you.”

“It's easier when you speak another language already,” Sergi explained.

Ray frowned. “But I thought you didn't speak Russian.”

“I don't. But, well, I understand it, so... Like, the sounds are easier.”

“See?” Iesu cut in. “We are all very impressed with your gifted tongue.” He leered. Sergi grimaced, obviously helplessly amused and Ray saw his chance.

“Iesu?” His mate turned his eyes to him. “Taci bin gurâ.”

Iesu choked on air and Sergi started laughing, covering his mouth but unable to stop as Iesu listened to Ray—probably more out of shock than anything else.

“So that's it,” Gabriel said, eyes shining in victory. Then he tried to repeat it and Iesu started flat out giggling. Even Ray could tell Gabriel's pronunciation was awful.

“Please stop before you make someone choke,” Alec asked Gabriel and pushed a bowl of salad towards him across the table.

“Is this you telling me to eat more greens?” Gabriel asked even as he served himself.

“Sure,” Alec agreed easily. He seemed a lot more relaxed now that it was just the six of them. The betas had gone back for a visit with the old pack and the babies were fast asleep after all the excitement of the day. “Eat all your greens,” Alec said. “And I will let you have some dessert.”

Ray looked away from the oddly intense look his alphas were sharing and only realised there was nothing even remotely sweet left in the house when he heard Gabriel swallow. Josh nudged him from his other side and Ray tilted his head up towards him, sharing an incredulous smile.

Maybe Alec didn't need so much handholding after all. Josh licked his lips and raised his eyebrows. “Movie date?” he mouthed at Ray.

Ray nodded, pressing his lips together to keep from grinning.

&

They had Netflix because Marisa said they'd actually save money if they got a family subscription instead of renting movies at random or buying DVDs. But unlike his sister, Ray didn't particularly like TV so he let Josh browse and went to make them tea.

The other four alphas had made themselves scarce after helping shove what little food was left in the fridge and filling the dishwasher up. The kitchen was a bit of a mess but as long as there were clean cups and spoons, Ray couldn't have cared less.

He bit his lip as he heard a low whimper on his way back to the living room on the other side of the house.

“Sounds like they are having fun,” he told Josh, kicking the door closed behind himself. He'd got the baby monitor from the babies’ room in the beta wing just in case—he rarely felt confident enough to let them sleep there but he felt good today, remembering that he wasn’t alone. Plus, he could hear them breathe though the open radio channel but they couldn’t hear him if he laughed at the movie or something.

Josh snorted, meeting his eyes from where he was sprawled on the middle sofa. Ray set down the tray but didn’t sit. His friend crooked a finger at him. “Come on, I'm sure cuddling has to be a third date thing.”

So Ray crawled over him, burying his nose in Josh's hair and inhaling deeply. Josh held him close and Ray let his warmth give him strength.

He raised himself on his elbows. “Can we skip the movie?”

Josh nodded slowly, watching him closely.

Ray licked his lips. “I want...” He exhaled, feeling ridiculous. “I want to suck you off.”

He felt Josh swallow. “Um, here?”

Ray hesitated, frowning a little as he concentrated on his other alphas. He had to clutch at Josh’s shirt at the wave of lust and pleasure that hit him. He blinked his eyes open, feeling a bit dazed. “They are busy,” he told Josh, his voice came out a little rough, like...

Josh slowly bent his knee, pressing his thigh right against the bulge in Ray's trousers like he'd known it was there. “Is that a good thing?” he checked.

Ray forced himself to keep his hips still and think about it. He had been able to feel their arousal, which was hot as fuck, sure, but so was porn. It wasn't like... He wasn't wet. It wasn’t about them wanting him. It was about him wanting them. It was strange to realise that the two could be separate things.

“Yeah, it's not...” He shifted back a little because if he didn't, he'd shift forward. “Just...”

“Hot?” Josh offered.

He glanced up at Josh's face and saw his eyes had gone even darker. He was also smiling. “Yes,” he conceded.

“Good,” Josh said and his eyes drifted. “What about if they get thirsty or something?”

“I—" Ray honestly didn't think like they'd come out of there for a while, but he couldn't exactly guarantee it. "Do you want to go to your room?”

Josh shrugged. “I want you to be comfortable.”

Ray tsked, a little annoyed, but he could hardly get angry at Josh for being accommodating. That wasn’t an alpha and omega thing, it was a Josh thing. “No,” he said slowly. “Do you want to go your room?”

Josh looked confused, but maybe the repetition made the point well enough because he nodded. “Yeah, let’s.”

Ray rewarded him with a smile and tugged him to his feet before kissing him. Josh kissed him back, soft and relaxed even though Ray knew he was hard as well and he couldn't help but pressing their lower halves together, seeking any friction he could get. Josh opened up to it, arching his leg to give Ray something to push against and pressing his own hard-on against Ray's hip.

Ray bit Josh's lips too hard and Josh thrust against him hard enough to make him stumble and clutch at Josh's arm and shirt in a clumsy attempt to stay upright. It wasn't necessary, Josh was holding onto him, too, and he immediately stabilized them, but it made the point well enough.

It was for the best. He wanted to do this properly, on a bed. He didn't know when he'd have the chance to be with Josh knowing everything he felt was just him, just them—no Moon meddling with their feelings or their bodies.

"Bedroom," he demanded. And he could feel the strain in Josh's arms as his lover reigned himself in. “Come on,” he said and tugged, not needing to ask if it was okay.

He’d ask about the important stuff, of course. He knew Josh needed the list as much as Ray did himself. But they could play at easy, at normal, at natural, for a little bit longer. They both pretended not to hear the sounds coming from behind the closed door of Sergi’s and Iesu’s room as they passed it, and then gave away the pretence as they tripped over a cuddly toy and were forced to turn to each other for support.

Josh bit his lip, eyes bright and Ray could barely resist the temptation to shush him and set him off. He didn’t think Sergi would appreciate the chorus, for one, and he definitely didn’t want to stop around and chat if they decided to come out.

He took a step back instead and Josh followed him the couple steps left to his own doorway. It was ridiculous but he hesitated to let go of his hand to reach for the door handle. Josh didn’t say anything to hurry him along, just watched him like that was enough—or like it wasn’t, like there was something on Ray’s face he still needed to figure out.

Ray opened the door without looking away and they were inside. Josh kicked the door closed and he realised they were alone. A part of him had like the idea of staying the living room. It was silly and childish and unjustified—he trusted Josh with his life, and more.

Josh caught his unease with the expertise of a mind-reader. “Hey,” he said, demanding Ray’s mind return from darker corners. He was smiling. “You wanna do something else? It’s a long list.”

It was, at that. Ray hadn’t just fantasized, he’d researched. And Josh had been meant to choose, not him. He didn’t want to be indulged. Josh needed to be careful—hell, Ray needed to be careful—but he didn’t need to do everything Ray wanted without question.

That wasn’t the name of the game. He met Josh’s eyes and squeezed the hand he still held. “So choose.”

“I—” Josh looked alarmed, not excited, but Ray waited him out. If he just... “Ray, I just want to be with you.”

Ray swallowed, the sincerity of the words almost hurt. He nodded. “Tell me how,” he repeated. “I told you,” he pointed out gently.

Josh exhaled, then nodded. “Okay, rubbing off.”

“Okay,” Ray agreed, rubbing his thumb against Josh’s knuckles. “That was nice.”

Josh frowned. “Do you want to... to suck me off instead?”

“Do you want to do that?” Ray echoed.

Josh huffed and yanked his hand away. “What are you playing at? I don’t care what we do, if it’s you... I want to do everything with you.”

Ray hesitated for just a second, but he knew Josh just as well as Josh knew him. He knew where the line was, and every button. “So if I ask you to fuck me, you will?”

Josh took a hasty step away, staring at him. “You— No.”

Ray looked up, feeling a surge of triumph. “So you do care.”

“Not because... I care about not hurting you,” Josh explained angrily. “Why—”

“You won’t hurt me,” Ray repeated, meeting the alpha’s eyes in open defiance. He felt his wolf’s objection in the tension in his shoulders and resisted the urge to look down, or away. “You made a mistake, and I forgave you,” he reminded Josh. “But if you don’t forgive yourself... it doesn’t matter what I say, does it?”

Josh shook his head, taking another step back. “I thought... I thought you were happy taking things slow.”

“I am, but this isn’t taking things slow. This is you doing whatever I want."

"We said...” Josh started to say. “We agreed you would tell me first, so I knew for sure. You didn’t..."

Ray swallowed, then nodded. "I thought you would freak out if I wrote down fucking."

Josh was staring at him, looking trapped. "But you want to?"

He licked his lips, shrugged. "It sounded hot. Before. And... if I'm going to do it anyway, I want to know if I actually can enjoy it when I'm not high as a kite on hormones or whatever."

Josh took another step back until the back of his knees hit the side of the bed, then plopped down heavily on it. His pushed his fingers through his blond hair, messing it up even further than Ray's hands had. "That makes sense."

"But you don't want to," Ray guessed.

"I—" Josh started to say, then stopped, flushing dark. Ray watched him without understanding the reason behind it. Was he embarrassed? Or... ashamed? He made himself wait it out, give Josh the space he needed just like Josh did for him, and finally, his friend managed to speak. He was staring at the floor and it was lucky Ray had supernatural hearing because even a couple meters apart, his voice would have been too quiet to be heard over the sound of the wind. "I know what it did to you, how—how it made you feel, and I still—I still want to. And I don't want to, because I know if I feel bad now for doing it without knowing... If I do it again and you—If I hurt you in the same way. If it's not a mistake..." He stopped speaking, swallowing hard a couple times and Ray suddenly understood he was holding back tears.

He took a step closer and reached out, only keeping himself from touching at the last second, and then, when Josh just sat there, trembling and stiff, he put his hand on Josh's shoulder and felt him crumble forwards into his arms. Josh didn't say anything else and Ray couldn't think of what to say so he dug his fingers into Josh's back and curved his body around his own—the instinct to protect him too deep and too old in him to stop now—and waited.

Josh gradually relaxed against him and Ray started rubbing his back instead, trying to soothe even as his brain scrambled to find the words to explain. By the time Josh pulled at his shirt to ask him for a little space, he still wasn't quite sure.

It didn't matter, there was no way he'd let Josh keep believing anything like that for a second longer than he had to. He put his hands on Josh's cheeks and made him look up into Ray's eyes. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to," he said, hearing the truth ring heavy in his voice. "And wanting to do something in bed doesn't make you good or bad, no matter what. It isn't a choice. The choice is what we do. And... And we are not going to do anything right now," he said. He'd thought Josh was taking things slow for his sake and wanted to shake him, but maybe that was the only Josh had been able to admit he needed time.

It worked like a charm, Josh's frame relaxing further into him and Ray climbed onto the bed and put his arm around Josh's back, holding him close and safe and his. "Sorry," Josh mumbled. "About... I mean, it's a date and—"

"Shut up," Ray demanded, too harsh. He kissed Josh's ear in apology. "Don't... We have a rule about feelings, remember?"

Josh laughed, a little wetly but still. "Okay," he agreed.

"We can take a nap," he offered, pressing himself closer to Josh.

But Josh shook his head. "No, I... I feel better. I want—I need to talk about this." He used his elbow to push Ray gently away. "Let's get under the covers, though."

Ray let go, then hesitated until Josh gave him a wan, tired smile and said, "I could get some pyjama pants?"

Ray shook his head, then laughed when he realised what he'd said. "You don't own any pyjamas," he declared with conviction.

Josh rolled his eyes at him. "Whatever, sweatpants or something."

"Forget it, get in the bed," Ray replied and got up. "I need the toilet."

It would have made a great excuse to give Josh a minute to himself, unfortunately, it was also true.

Josh was curled up on his side when he got back and Ray had left his own jeans in the laundry basket in the bathroom—it wasn't like boxer shorts were revealing, much less provocative, but he still hesitated.

“Come on,” Josh told him, eyelids dropping a little. “I trust you with my virtue.”

Ray snorted but he crawled up the bed and rolled under the blanket. He left plenty of room between their bodies—Josh had got the king sized bed that had originally been in Ray’s bedroom—but Josh reached out a hand and tugged on his sleeve. “Cuddling okay? I know it’s third date stuff and this date kinda sucked...”

“There wasn’t even a movie,” Ray agreed, but he rolled closer and let Josh gather him in his arms, fitting his chin under Josh’s and sighing at the warm skin against his.

“Maybe we should go out again,” Josh said, rubbing Ray’s back with his left hand. His right arm was bent awkwardly between their bodies, just under Ray’s own dominant hand. But neither of them moved. “That was working well...”

“We should,” Ray agreed. “And... the therapy thing. I think we both need to do that. I didn’t realise...” He leaned back so he could look at his mate. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise how it affected you.”

Josh shook his head as well as he could manage while laying down. “That’s not—”

“I can feel sorry,” Ray reminded him. “It’s a feeling.”

Josh closed his mouth, looking torn between being annoyed and chastised. “Okay. So I feel like it was pretty understandable of you to miss it.”

“Okay,” Ray echoed. “So—”

“Can we cuddle?” Josh interrupted.

Ray blinked at him and it took him a moment to realise it was the first time Josh had dared to cut him off in ages. It was something alphas did to omegas all the time, of course, because they could and that meant a lot of them felt they had the right to. But it was also a Josh thing. A Josh and Ray thing, because they liked to have stupid arguments that ended with them tackling each other and they had been ten-years-olds together, and fifteen too. It didn’t mean they didn’t listen, it was just another way to talk.

And sometimes, it was the right way to stop talking. Like when they got into a circular argument just for the sake of needling each other. Ray had asked for normal and Josh had given it to him.

He smiled a little. “Of course,” he said. “We have to, it’s our third date,” he reminded him and curled up closer, closing his eyes.

&

Waking up in Josh’s arms wasn’t exactly a new experience—he’d held Ray close after Ray had come back. And After Alec had told him about the pregnancy.

It was different to wake in Josh’s arms and be happy, though. Different enough to be hard to believe, so Ray stayed where he was and watched Josh’s eyelashes in the sunlight filtering through the half drawn curtains.

It must have been what woke Josh eventually, making him stir slightly and tighten his grip on Ray like a child with a favoured toy. Ray watched his eyelashes flutter almost absently, like it was an abstract painting instead of a beloved face. And then Josh scrunched his eyes shut against the light and it was like getting punched in the gut by the strength of the tenderness it brought up in him. He froze in an effort not to squeeze Josh back too hard and in that momentary eternity Josh recovered enough to look at him from under hooded lids.

Ray’s breath stuttered in his throat, like he was looking into the sun all of sudden, and he couldn’t help but glance away.

He couldn’t keep from glancing back either. Even though they were too close, even though... Josh’s hand was soft on his hair and Ray leaned over him to press their mouths together like the movement was a continuation of something he’d done in his dreams.

It felt unreal, too, the way Josh’s mouth opened to him, soft and slick, canines sharp against his tongue, but tongue so eager to tangle with his it seemed absurd that he might need to pull away to breathe. He followed the pull of Josh’s body and rolled on top of him, hips locking in place—dicks more awake than their owners—as if an extension of their mouths.

It was easy. It didn’t require thought to push closer, to roll faster into the wave of their shared pleasure, a rhythm they didn’t need to discuss—it simply was. A truth they had just needed to let surface from the depths, as if they’d hid it from themselves by some trick of the light, or the darkness. Maybe just fear—the kind that lived at the heart of every great love.

But it was gone now, defeated, drowned, exiled, and it was just Ray and Josh, bodies never close enough with clothes between them but too desperate to be closer to bother removing them. Josh arched under him, whimpering like it was breaking his very soul, and Ray felt him erupting between them. And he couldn’t do anything but join him, let his own mind shatter as his body reached the edge of what was known and spilled beyond understanding—tethered to the one person that could always call him back from both darkness and light.

He remembered himself when their release started cooling between them, seeping through their boxers and mixing in what moments before would have been hot and now was turning into a sticky mess. Ray raised his head, still dazed but starting to remember he had other needs beyond touching the man in his arms.

Josh didn’t seem much more awake than he’d been earlier with his eyes closed, but when Ray pushed onto his elbows to try and get up, Josh’s leg behind his knee forced him to stay. Only for a second, then Josh’s brain must have registered the surprise on his face because he disentangled both his leg and his arms from around Ray.

Ray really needed to get up, but he didn’t want to leave Josh looking anything but blissed out. He essayed a smile, but he wasn’t exactly happy, it was closer to the delirious otherworldly connection the full moon brought out in him than to laughter or pleasure. And for that, he didn’t have words.

He got to his knees, then took Josh’s hand and pulled, then tilted his head in invitation.

Josh tried to follow his lead, but it was pretty impossible to get up with someone half-sitting on top of you—even with supernatural abs—so he fell back.

Ray laughed, feeling like he was breaking through a spell. And Josh rolled his eyes at him, dispelling the mist a little further, then he spoke at last.

“Shower,” he said, voice raspy and dry.

Ray checked the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was a little past eight, which meant Alec was probably in the kitchen already—maybe cooking breakfast. “You have work?”

His mate looked completely blank, and Ray couldn’t help but laugh again. “Well, I guess if you do, you can’t show up covered in jizz,” he said with a smirk. “Come on.”

He turned around and opened the door, not bothering to check if anyone was in the corridor before heading for the bathroom next door.

By design or luck—Ray was assuming design—Josh gave him a couple minutes to piss before he showed up to join him in the shower. Ray was grateful for a first go at the hot water—and the chance to face away from his lover while completely naked—and Josh let him move past him with a careful hold on his arm and hip, low enough there was no chance he’d touch Ray’s belly.

Ray leaned into him and let Josh massage shampoo into his hair, then run his fingers through it to help him rinse it. Josh let Ray massage shower gel over his shoulders and then lower, eyes closed and trusting, expression open and close to sensual ecstasy.

They had never done that before, but it was easy.

&

Alec had made breakfast. For Gabriel. It was quite clear by the cooling grease on the empty plates still on the table—he must have emptied the dishwasher too, Ray figured. But maybe it was even more obvious by the way he sprang to his feet as soon as he saw Ray and offered to make him some food.

“Sure,” Ray agreed. “Not like I’m going to say no to some protein,” he added with a wink.

Alec gaped at him, flushing darkly despite Ray’s fairly tame reference. “Eggs?” he offered.

Ray was severely tempted to add something dirtier to see what reaction he could get, but he took pity and turned to his cousin instead. Ray was no prude, but Gabriel’s attitude towards sex was still too casual for him. How did Alec even cope?

Gabriel was already on his feet, opening the dishwasher—empty indeed—and stacking his plate inside before turning to open the fridge and passing Alec some bacon right on cue.

Josh walked in right then—not out of any misplaced sense of modesty, he’d just needed to go back to his own room to get fresh clothes—and didn’t even blink at the strange scene.

“Morning,” he said. “Mmmm... Can I have some?” he asked Alec in his sweetest tones.

Alec flashed him a smile and a nod, but Gabriel gave him an unimpressed look. “We were expecting you.”

“Okay...” Josh was understandably flabbergasted by that, until Gabriel’s eyes slid to Ray and he raised both eyebrows as he pursed his lips. Josh swallowed, glancing at Ray.

But if either of them imagined Ray was going to be shy about who he chose to spend his nights with, they had another thing coming. “We slept very well,” he told Gabriel, meeting his eyes was almost easy, he discovered. “And you?”

Gabriel barked out a laugh, deep and rumbling and brightening up his face enough he went from beautiful to stunning. Ray’s eyes slid past him to Josh, who was already looking at him and who looked... proud? His twisted his lips and tipped an imaginary hat at Ray before pulling back a chair.

Just then, the baby monitor went off in Ray’s bedroom. He shot to his feet, feeling his stomach twist with guilt, but before he could move, Gabriel had a hand on his arm. “I got it. Have some breakfast in peace and I’ll go get them.”

“But—” Ray started.

Gabriel shook his head. “I’ll get the stroller. I’ll be back in less than five minutes and you can hear them from here,” he added, thumb pointing towards the bedrooms even as he walked out towards the door in the living room that connected the two houses.

Ray stood still, adrenaline still rushing through him and feeling like every whimper pulled straight at his heartstrings. He only noticed the plate of food in front of him when Gabriel’s voice on the other side of the baby monitor broke him out of his terrified waiting.

He sagged a little and felt a hand on his shoulder. Josh, he saw, glancing up to meet his mate’s eyes. “Sit down.” Ray did and eyed the food a little blankly. “That was good,” Josh added in a whisper. “You were scared but you trusted him.”

“Fuck, that was awful.” He exhaled and rubbed his face, mostly so he could let his expression do whatever it wanted for a moment. “Alec, can I have coffee, please?”

Alec passed Josh a second plate and made him a black coffee in silence before sitting in front of him at the kitchen table. Ray had managed to eat a few mouthfuls of eggs and the hot drink helped wake him up fully. He took a bite of bacon and tasted it something for the first time. “This is good,” he told Alec. “Um, thanks.” Alec smiled at him, a little tight, Ray noticed. “Go on, what?”

“Just—” Alec waved towards Josh. “Nothing, it was... it was good. I’m glad you did that.”

“Gabriel will be over the moon,” Josh said, and Ray’s brain seemed to register the sounds weren’t coming through the radio anymore just as Gabriel pushed the stroller into the kitchen. Jamie and Clara got the front seat, and the other three were in the back because they were less likely to spill over the sides.

They were all getting too big for the stroller, Ray noticed, and they hadn’t even taken them into town yet. It had been too hard at first, when they were liable to transform without warning, and then...

Gabriel had to have heard Josh’s comment, but he didn’t say a thing. Just met Ray’s eyes from where he was twisted to look at them. Ray nodded and purposely turned back to his breakfast, leaving Gabriel to prepare some of the formula Alec had deemed nutritious enough for werewolf babies.

It was a pretty small thing to trust him with: fetching them from next door and feeding them. But it was a start. He thought Gabriel got it, too, and Alec dropped another heap of bacon into his plate without any prompting, which Ray took as his way to express further approval without having to actually talk.

Josh stole one of his rashers and Ray aimed an elbow at him—too slow to hit but quick enough to make him work to evade it—and decided he could have a double breakfast. He was eating for two, really.