I never thought I'd ever have a honeymoon. So I'd never wasted a lot of time daydreaming about what it would be like. But if I had… it would be this one.

My hands had worked in the clay like they had minds of their own. I'd never felt so inspired and the form seemed to be taking shape as if it were guiding me, and not the other way around. When I finally washed my hands, I felt a deep and profound sense of satisfaction. And it was all because of Jack.

He'd changed my life in an instant, bringing me here, encouraging me in my work. Giving me this opportunity to fulfill my dreams. I covered the clay and the sound of the plastic sheeting woke Moki from where she was sleeping in the sun. My stomach was churning with excitement. While I'd worked, I'd made the decision. It was time. Jack had done so much for me. Now I wanted to do this for him…

"Come on, girl," I reached out and picked her up. She squirmed, licking my face. "Let's give Daddy a present, too."

I carried her downstairs and into my bedroom. She curled up contentedly on my bed and, from the look on her face, I had the distinct feeling that I might never get her to sleep in her own again. I pulled a little box out of the bottom of my handbag. It was a pregnancy test I'd bought on my own. I knew Jack had brought several, but I'd wanted one I could take on my own. Privately… just in case I wanted to know a little sooner.

"Here we go, Little Speck," I said softly. Moki lifted her head and cocked an ear. I sat down next to her, reading the directions on the test while she explored the box with her nose.

I was right on the edge of the recommended timeframe for testing. I should probably wait, like Jack and I had planned all along. But I so wanted to give him the good news he deserved…

I left Moki on the bed and, with test in hand, closed the bathroom door behind me.

"How are my two beautiful girls?" Jack called out. I held the puppy's leash while she gamboled unevenly on the sand. Jack was pouring sparkling water, the bamboo table was set for two. The sun was low in the sky, the light pink.

"I had the chef prepare one of his specialties…," he said, taking Moki's leash and handing me into my chair. The whole thing was so lovely…

"It's a salad made with conch and papaya. And there's a lemon soufflé for dessert." He handed me my glass. "Did you have everything you needed up in the studio?" He tossed the salad lightly and filled my plate, then his own. I glanced under the table to see the puppy already nose deep in a bowl of her own dinner. Jack had thought of everything.

"The studio is perfect," I said, taking a sip of my water. "Just like everything has been. This island, how good you've been to me… little Mokita… I can't ever thank you enough for all this, Jack. It's gone way beyond the scope of the agreement. Everything has…"

He took my hand, his eyes warm, kind. "Yes…," he agreed, nodding. "And I don't regret that it has." His words were careful, deliberate… but I knew he was telling me the truth. "When this is all over, I'll be the one who can't offer thanks enough… You'll have given almost a year of your life, Libby. How can a man thank a woman for that…?"

I opened my mouth, wanting to speak, but the words stuck in my throat as he went on. "I know we agreed to keep the rest of the… trip… simpler. But I want you to know how much I care for you, Libby… How much I will always consider you my friend… even once the contract is finished. You're strong and ambitious… beautiful… passionate…

All qualities I hope you pass along to the baby. One day, I want to tell her how loving her mother was… what a gifted and lovely woman brought her into the world. It's something a child needs to know…"

We ate our meal in companionable silence. Moki fell asleep at our feet, her tummy round as she snored lightly. The hypnotic shush of the waves and the falling darkness lulled us both into the privacy of our own thoughts. Jack would smile occasionally, taking a long deep breath. He looked so happy. So content.

"Come with me," he said, taking my hand. I rose from my chair quietly, not wanting to wake the puppy. Then Jack led me to the water's edge. "If you could find out more about your own mother...would you want to know? Do you think, after all these years, that you'd want to know… that it would make any kind of difference now?"

I gazed out over the water. Jack was behind me, not touching me, but my whole body was keenly aware of his. I knew he was thinking about the baby. What he should and shouldn't share with her, about how she came into the world. I took my time, thinking before I answered.

"I am who I am, Jack. Partly because of my mother. Partly because of the choices she made…

But I don't think there's anything that can change a lifetime of experiences. I don't believe I could learn anything about her that would change my past. Or my future… The truth is she didn't want me and I'm okay with that." I let a long breath go. "Tell the baby I loved her enough to give her the best father in the world. That I loved her enough to give her the best life possible. And that I never would have given birth to her, if I hadn't been sure she would be safe. And loved forever."

I felt Jack's arms wrap around me and I leaned back into his hard, steady warmth. I felt everything wash through me all at once. Attraction and passion. Friendship and lust. Gratitude and yearning. Need… and sorrow…

His hands moved down to caress my belly. There was nothing but tenderness in the gesture. I put my hands over his and held them as we watched the sun go down together. I realized that Jack had called the baby she, for the very first time and I smiled wryly as a tear ran down my cheek. He was thinking about fatherhood, and a baby girl as we watched evening fall. I wanted to tell him, but the words just wouldn't come. It would have been the perfect moment to surprise him, but not this way… not like this. I prayed silently that in a few more days, I'd be able to tell him what he wanted to hear…

But not now… not this perfect night. Maybe it had just been too soon. I knew there was still a chance… and yet deep inside I felt a fear I'd never known. All along, I'd been so sure. The wedding… this honeymoon… all because I had been so sure.

But I'd taken the test. Not just once, but twice. And both had given the same result.

The baby I had been so sure of, who we'd both been so sure of, simply wasn't there.