“Since when have you been an herbal tea person?” Mom said, looking over her mug of hot coffee. I shot a sideways glance at my sister-in-law and she gave me the look… the one that says the gig is up.

I waited until the waitress had cleared our plates away before I sucked up my courage to speak. “Since I found out we’re not just planning a wedding,” I said. “Jason and I are having a baby. I would have told you this morning… but I kept hoping I could get a call through so I could tell him first.”

Mom sat back in her chair, quiet… smiling, understanding shining in her eyes. “Of course you did, Emmy. Of course…”

“It’s not why the wedding is so soon…” I offered.

“For god’s sake, do you think I’d care if it was?” she said suddenly, putting her arms around me. “I’m so happy for you, honey. I’m so happy for both of you. I know how much you’ve both wanted this, and for so long. Your whole life has changed so fast… it’s going to change so much more before you know it.” She kissed my cheek and held my hands in hers. “You have everything you ever wanted.”

We kissed and chattered about the wedding, how I was feeling… doctor visits and baby clothes…

But I felt like I was in a haze. I knew I was excited, happier than I’d ever been… but it felt like I was looking at my emotions from a distance, rather than truly feeling them. Something felt off, wrong somehow.

“Well,” Mom said, pushing her chair back, “I’ve got shoes to buy, and you two had better get to the bakery before they close.” She leaned down and put her arms around my neck. “Call me when you get home?”

“I love you, Mom,” I said. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have your love and support. The only thing that could make this day more perfect was if Daddy was here.” I swallowed hard. “And Jason…”

As bad as the connection was, there was no mistaking the sound of his voice, no denying its effect on me.

“... go back… … cabin…”

“Jason, oh my god. Jason, I’ve been trying to call you for so long,” I said, feeling dizzying waves of relief wash over me. There was so much noise on the line, made worse by the sound of the truck’s tires on the road. The bakery had closed early, so I was dropping Connie off before I’d head back home. “Where are you? Is everything okay?”

“Ember… bad… … go back…”

I jerked the wheel and hit the brakes, stopping fast on the shoulder. “Are you all right? Are you and Randy all right? I have to tell you something…” I shouted, praying the words would make it through.

“... love you… … Randy… find you when it’s all over…”

“I love you too, Jason,” I said, feeling a wave of heat surge through me. No matter how far apart, we had a bond between us that nothing could break. “I’m on my way home right now and I can’t wait to tell you… We’re going to have a baby, Jason.” Connie reached over and took my hand as the tears streamed down my face. “Can you hear me?”

“... can’t… … go back…”

“Jason? Jason…?” But it was no use. The line was dead.

“Are they okay? What did he say?” Connie’s voice seemed to come from a long way off as I sat, afraid to take the phone away from my ear. Somehow the whole day, fun and exciting just a moment before, felt utterly meaningless now. I was numb.

“I don’t know,” I said, stunned. “He was breaking up and it was mostly static. I heard him say Randy’s name and something about home. I don’t know if he heard me at all.”

Connie offered a dozen times to come back to the cabin with me.

But I dropped her at her door before the sun started to set, and drove home alone. She’d reassured me over and over, that there wasn’t anything unusual about the call, that she and Randy had gone for weeks at a time with nothing but a few broken words. All I knew was that I needed to go home. To be in the one place where Jason could find me. And to be waiting when he got there. All the plans were made, and I’d paid for everything but the cake. I’d brought the dresses along with me. I carried the bag with my wedding gown with me, unwilling to part with it even for a second, and unlocked the front door,

“You poor thing,” I said, struggling with the house key in my gloved hand, “I didn’t think I’d be gone this long.” Reilly was whining loudly, scratching at the door. He burst through in a flurry when it opened, barking noisily and spinning frantic circles around me. “You go pee, and I’ll get your supper.”

But instead of heading for his favorite tree, he ran for the cliffs instead, stopping to take a few steps back toward me before turning and running again. The hair along his back was bristling and the whites of his eyes showed. He looked back again, whining in distress, unsure which direction to go. It was behavior I’d never seen before. And I couldn’t explain why… but a chill that had nothing to do with the cold ran through me. I draped my precious gown over the back of a chair.

“Come on, Rye,” I called, bending down and holding out my hand. “Come back inside where it’s warm,” I soothed, “it’s okay, boy… come on…”

He trotted back, stopping to turn his head and look into the distance. The sun was gone, the last of the light fading quickly. He whined, but he came with me and I closed the door to the cold. Reilly continued to pace as I built a fire in the stove and filled his supper dish. He sniffed, but wouldn’t eat. The sound of his nails on the floor was setting my teeth on edge.

“Come here, Rye,” I said, sitting down on the couch and patting the cushion next to me. But he stood by my legs instead, letting me pet him, but unwilling to sit still.

I switched on the radio and stroked his thick fur, trying to use the slow movements to calm us both. All the way home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong in spite of what Connie had said. I leaned forward, reaching for the matches and lit the kindling in the fireplace. “You’re cold, that’s all,” I said, as much to myself as to him. “We’ll both feel better once we’ve had something to eat and get some sleep…”

Except that neither of those things happened that night. My heart, racing all day, dropped to my stomach as the music was cut short and an emergency announcement came over the radio. A few short life-shattering sentences later, I understood…