Graduation Night, The Underground

One step through the doorway and it hits me right in the chest. This is wrong, on so many levels. I have no business being here. The lights are too low, the music penetrates me so deeply I can feel it throbbing like a lover between my legs. The second step forward is all on Mattie. If she didn’t have a death grip on my arm, I’d have just turned tail and run…

“This is no time to go chicken shit on me, Angie,” she whispered forcefully, dragging me past the bouncer. He’s about ten feet tall and dressed a lot like a medieval executioner. Picture black leather and metal-studded straps. I felt my knees start to buckle…

Mattie grabbed a couple of glasses off a passing tray and handed me one. I drank it without thinking, and coughed, gasping as it burned its way down. “This is your graduation present,” she reminded me unnecessarily. “You’re a grown woman with a will of her own, who hasn’t had a life for the past six years.” She dragged me into a corner where the music wasn’t so loud. “Isn’t this exactly how I told you it would be?”

“Yes, but…”

“And didn’t you agree to one single, celebratory night of unadulterated fun?” Her lip twitched in amusement.

“I did, but…”

“And what is the new word we’re practicing tonight…?”

“Yes,” I whispered, wondering where all my hard-won strength had gone, just when I needed it most. “Yes to new experiences… Yes to excitement…”

“And yes to taking a chance,” she finished for me. She grinned, her brilliant green eyes shining from behind her black sequined mask. She pushed a handful of brightly dyed red hair out of her eyes and adjusted her outfit. She had pushed even her own limits tonight. Her tiny black dress was nothing but a black veil, revealing more than it concealed. I could clearly see the heart-shaped silver charms that dangled from her nipples. And so had our taxi driver.

“So you look fabulous,” she added, adjusting what little there was of my own dress. She wore black, indicating experience in this lifestyle. She’d chosen white for me, with just a touch of pink. “Remember what I said. Flagging you as a newbie with white will probably draw more interest than you want, but it’s also the only way to throw up a caution flag.” She flashed an admiring glance toward the looming doorman who returned it with a look that made me blush clear to my toes. “Rexie here and the other attendants are great about keeping us as safe as we want to be.” She tucked a strand of my hair behind my own silver mask. It was long, baby blonde, and pale wisps were forever straying out of place. My eyes darted nervously around the room. “This is all about what you want,” she said. “Remember that.

You don’t have to leave the main hall with anyone unless you want to. And I’ll be right here all evening.” She shot a meaningful look back at Rex. “He gets off door duty in an hour and then he’s all mine. We’ll be right here the rest of the night. And you don’t have to be alone with anyone… unless you choose to be.”

I sucked in a deep bracing breath, nodding, and took my first real look around the hall. My heart was pounding like it was trying to escape my rib cage, and the drink I’d swallowed was burning a hole somewhere in my stomach lining. But there was no denying the seductive energy of the atmosphere. And no denying either that the taste of this lifestyle I’d had years ago had created a hunger I’d never lost. It had taken a damned long time for me to summon the courage, to open myself up again…

Not to mention that for the first time, it really seemed like my luck was starting to turn around. Against all odds, I’d graduated with a degree in interior design and even landed my very first job. Violet was making progress every day, and my friendship… no, my sisterhood… with Mattie had been my lifeline. In exchange, I’d given up anything barely approaching a personal life, but that sacrifice was finally starting to pay off. I’d fucking earned tonight. Like Mattie said… pure, unadulterated pleasure…

“I’m okay,” I said, straightening my shoulders and pushing my breasts out confidently. The thin silver straps that held my sheer dress in place strained, drawing tight lines against my soft flesh. Having Violet had only enhanced the curves I’d started out with, but at least my belly was almost as flat as it used to be. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I knew. It had just been so goddamned long since I’d even been seen, let alone touched…

“The left side of the room is for taking your pleasure,” Mattie said, stepping back so I could see. “The right is for giving it. So pay attention to where you go….” She gestured to a sweeping staircase that curved upwards and disappeared into the darkness. “Upstairs is the only place for privacy,” she added. “Couples… even small groups, go up there. But there are attendants everywhere, and lots of protection…” She nodded at a silver tray full of condoms. “And every guest obeys the rules. The word no is like law here.” She smiled, watching as I took in the dozens of people around us. “What happens here, stays here,” she said. “Anonymity… and no consequences. It’s safe to give in… to give up the control you hold so close.…”

I bit into my lip, sucking my breath sharply, excited just by the words. The last time I’d given in had left me struggling and paying the price for my whole adult life. That I could even dream of letting go again… of feeling even a fraction of the pleasure I’d had that one time with Will… seemed to make every nerve in body come back to life….

The room was lined with dark wood paneling. A mesmerizing display of sexual tools and toys lined the walls, along with hooks and chains… and velvet cuffs that allowed for bondage without pain. My eyes were searching for satin… for that one familiar link to before… but there was none.

Paddles and thin leather whips were available for those who wanted intensity, a touch of pain… the adrenaline of fear. I watched a man cuff a woman’s hands high above her head. He slipped a blindfold over her mask, over her eyes, and selected a thick-handled leather whip. But instead of striking out with it, he pushed the handle up between her legs and fucked her with it. The long thin tail was trailing out of her… and he used its tip to tease her nipples as she rocked her hips, moaning from the pleasure….

Everywhere I looked was another couple, another group, every scene more exotic and erotic than the last. Women, I noticed, weren’t the only ones in submission. Men, too, had given over control to their women. I watched a woman tease her man’s cock mercilessly. His arms were tied behind his back, his legs spread wide. His shaft was enormous, standing high along his belly and throbbing heavily as she stroked his balls with her tongue. She was holding him back, making him beg for his release… I could see it in his face. And all my years of self-control and self-denial began to crumble. For the first time since Will, I knew just how badly I needed release of my own. I was young and healthy… it was natural after all, to have needs….

I felt my blood moving like syrup through my veins. The seduction of the room was having its way with me. Too much had been denied for too long. I shifted, feeling heat and wetness soaking the thin string of my thong and sliding down my inner thigh. Everywhere I looked, I saw pleasure and the promise of reward. Rex came up behind Mattie and curved one huge, possessive arm around her waist. She leaned back against him and sighed. In one fast moment, I was struck with the weight of everything my life had been missing… and for so, so long….

That’s when I saw him. The only one in the entire room who was fully dressed. He stood, leaning casually against the bar, wearing a suit so dark it seemed to absorb the light around it. It was designed to show the perfect contours of his broad shoulders and tapering hips. His crisp white collar was open, showing smooth, tanned skin. He was tall, nearly as tall as Rex, but had a kind of grace the other man lacked. His dark hair fell forward, over thick brows and into his eyes. He was looking straight at me, like I was the only other person in the room, with a confidence that said we were the only two who mattered. And something about him, something I couldn’t begin to explain, flipped a switch inside me. I stared back, unashamed, brazen even. For a second, I felt that same perfect sensation I’d felt the night my whole life had changed. My other graduation night. My turning point….

“Will you be okay?” Mattie asked, pushing Rex’s busy hands away, her voice thick with concern. “I swear I won’t leave you… if you’re not ready.…”

“Go,” I told her. “Enjoy yourself.” I brushed a kiss by her cheek without breaking his gaze. He was headed straight for me with long, purposeful strides. “I’m good…

I’ve got this.”