“Joey… April... !”

I smiled out the window as Connie called the kids in for lunch. I’d made Mom’s special macaroni and cheese, and a batch of oatmeal cookies were still in the oven. Connie busied herself with unbuttoning coats and unwrapping scarves. I set the table, amazed at how good it felt to have noise and laughter and life in the house again. It almost made up for the empty pillow next to me at night. Reilly came galloping in, tongue flying and toenails digging fresh grooves into the floor. He loved having the kids here as much as I did…

“Yay!” April squealed, “Gram’s ‘roni ‘n cheese…” Connie helped her into a chair while I put Joey in his highchair. Rye gave a low woof and stood where his tail could thump against my leg. I filled his bowl with dry kibble, but he stood stock-still, as unblinking as a mesmerist… until I broke down and put a spoonful of macaroni on the top.

“I can’t believe it’s only been a week,” I said, sitting down across from Connie. Joey already had more cheese on his face than in his mouth, but he was blissfully happy anyway. I felt a twinge deep inside me and had to close my eyes for a moment. If I’d married Jason when I’d had the chance, we could have a son about Joey’s age by now…

“Well, at least they gave us a head’s up not to expect them back for a while longer,” Connie said, matter-of-factly. “I can’t think of any assignment Randy ever came back from sooner than he expected.”

A gust of wind blew hard outside and I remembered how Jason had looked coming down the ladder from the rooftop; hat cocked on his head… hard muscled forearms bared in spite of the cold, a hammer gripped in one big, capable hand.

He’d managed half a dozen repairs before he’d left, and though I hated to admit it, there was something inside me… primal… evolutionary maybe, that responded. I could do most of those things myself, when push came to shove. But every female instinct inside me seemed to heighten when I watched him wield a hammer. It wasn’t just his strength… or the power in his arms and chest… the way his thigh muscles bulged underneath his jeans as he worked. God knows, I’d helped him peel off layers of sweaty clothes a hundred times, only to join him in the shower and…

“Cookie,” Joey demanded, pointing to the one in his sister’s hand. I got up to save the batch in the oven from burning and felt dizzy from the aching wave of desire that washed over me; not just for his body inside mine, but for the whole life we should have had together by now. I wasn’t sure at all how I was going to manage for another few weeks… maybe even longer…

“Randy said they’ve got a good break cleared and burned off. As long as the wind doesn’t shift, they should be back before the end of the month,” Connie said, helping the kids down from the table. They both looked sleepy, ready for naptime. “They’ll be filthy and starving.” She smiled sideways at me and I knew exactly what she meant. “Don’t get me wrong… It’s a hard fucking thing to be married to a man who’s off god knows where. But ahh… when he comes home…” She winked at me and I felt my cheeks burn hot. “When he gets home… that’s when I think maybe we’re a whole lot luckier than women who’re married to stockbrokers and car salesmen who come home every single night, night after boring night…”

“I wouldn’t have understood that a few years ago,” I replied. “But I think I’m beginning to now. It takes a special kind of man to do what our men do,” I said. “So I guess it takes a special kind of woman to love them, too.” I smiled, feeling a closer sense of connection to my sister-in-law than ever before. “I just wish I could have talked to Jason when Randy called. I think it would help, just to hear his voice…”

“So go talk to him,” she said pragmatically. “I talk to Randy all the time, even when he’s hundreds of miles away. I find a quiet spot in the woods, maybe up high so I can see for miles and miles. And I tell him how I feel. If I’m angry, then I yell it all out. And if I’m just missing him… well… I work it out…” She glanced over at the kids who were half asleep on the sofa. “I think I’ll just sack out with them for a while.” She tipped her head toward the door. “You might be surprised how much it helps…”

I let Reilly take off ahead of me. He knew the path. I’d paused just long enough to pick up my camera and stuff it into my pocket. Its weight felt familiar, reassuring. Like I’d found a part of myself that I’d lost.

I shifted deeper into Jason’s oversized jacket, inhaling his scent, grateful he’d left it behind. I’d come to this place a thousand times… loving him, missing him. From the summit, I could see for miles. But I wasn’t out of the woods just yet. The trees loomed large and shaded the ground. But the pines were dead dry from the summer heat.

Rye reached the top before I did, barking and spinning circles, eager for me to catch up. The view seemed to come out of nowhere all at once. The darkness of dense forest gave way to sunlight in a few short steps. And what should have been blanketed in winter snow was instead a vast expanse of golden plains and low, rocky hills. Low, dark clouds lay on the horizon, but without the scent of moisture in the air. A brisk breeze blew up the face of the mountain and swept my hair back from my face. I snapped a few shots as Reilly paced, his tail low and his nose in the air. He pawed at the ground and whined softly.

“I know,” I exhaled. “I miss him too.”

I buried my face in the warmth of Jason’s jacket and closed my eyes, letting the memories in my skin take over. It was like he was with me, lifting my hair off my neck to kiss the hollow there. My breasts still tingled from his touch, from his mouth. My nipples were sensitive now, even the water from the shower made them ache…

I squeezed my thighs together and felt pure, wet need. “I love you,” I said softly and the wind blew harder. I imagined it carrying my words to where he was, giving every ounce of strength to protect the land he loved and people he’d never even met. “I want you with me,” I said to the wind, “but I know you have to do this…

“And I love you even more because of it.”

I ran my hands inside my jacket and inhaled his scent, willing myself to absorb some of his strength as well. The wind was coming hard now, and the tops of the trees were leaning. I knew we should be getting back, but I wanted to stay a few moments longer. My hair was crackling around my shoulders and my skin was tingling, burning from the cold. But I felt closer to Jason than I had since he’d left. “I love you…” I said, louder now. Reilly barked and pawed at my sleeve.

“You’re ready for home too, aren’t you boy?” I patted his big head and scratched under his ear. There was something hard and cold… tangled in the thick fur below his neck. “Did you catch a burr…?”

I turned his collar so I could see…

The tattered end of a ribbon was hanging…

I pushed a handful of fur aside and it was there. My engagement ring, on a red velvet ribbon, just as it had been that Christmas morning so long ago. A huge red ruby surrounded with diamonds that sparkled like fire. He’d kept it with him all this time… all these years,

And he’d tied it to Reilly’s collar before he left.

“Yes!” I shouted over the valley. “You get your ass back here and you marry me,” I shouted into the wind. It swept the tears out of my eyes, blurring my vision but fanning the passion inside me. “Because I love you and I need you, more than I ever knew. Just come back home…”

I slipped the ring on my finger and held my hands clasped over my heart in a silent prayer. I prayed for him to hear me… and for him to be safe. But the only answer was a gust of cold wind and Reilly’s plaintive howl,

For the clouds on the horizon had grown darker. And on the wind was the faint, yet unmistakable scent of smoke.