“I got here as fast as I could,” Connie said, bundled and breathless from the cold. She had bags in both arms and handed me one as a gust of wind nearly blew the door shut on us both. Reilly came running and I held it open just long enough for him to slip inside. Then I slammed it shut and bolted it against the icy blast. It was colder than I ever remembered, and still it refused to snow. The wind blew sharp, gritty dust instead, and I could see the tops of the trees bending.

“I got everything you asked for,” she said, shivering as she took her coat off. She dug inside the larger bag and brought out a smaller one. “These things are so much faster than when I used one the last time,” she said. “I can’t believe it. Are you having any signs?… Do you really think…?”

I smiled at her excitement, feeling my own heart fluttering nervously. “I think it’s too soon for morning sickness or anything. And it isn’t like I haven’t been late before…”

“But something feels different this time, “ she said for me. “Am I right? It’s like your body is trying to tell you…”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up,” I said, fiddling with the little box in my hands. “We tried after we got engaged the first time.”

“But you haven’t been trying now?”

I blushed, feeling hot suddenly. My cheeks tingled and burned. “Not exactly,” I said, with a lopsided smile. “We just haven’t… well… after that night at the hot springs…”

“I totally get it,” she said with a conspiratorial smile. “That’s how Joey was born.”

“We always wanted to have a family,” I said. “Maybe we should have waited until after the wedding, but I know it’s what Jason still wants. It’s part of why he’s willing to give up being a hotshot… so he can really be here to help raise his children.”

She nodded. “Jason’s a good man; he’s got a lot to offer as a father. Like Randy…” She stood up and reached a hand towards me. “So are we ready to find out?” she asked. “This is gonna make one hell of a wedding present, if you can keep it a secret that long.”

I grinned, and swept back a handful of hair, looking up at her. “Not a chance,” I said. “He’d want to know the minute I do. If this is positive, I need to tell him as soon as I possibly can. For the last few weeks they’re out there, he’ll know what he’s coming home to; a woman who loves him more than ever before, who has his baby growing inside her.

“There won’t be any running away this time, not for me… not ever again…”

“I told you I tried… I just… couldn’t.” I took another long swallow of tea as I paced. “I’ll try again in an hour. I’m just nervous and it shuts off the waterworks.”

“Then come over here by the fire and warm up,” she said. “I brought some magazines so we can look at the dresses and maybe pick out a color scheme…”

I sat down next to her and flipped through the stiff, glossy pages. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing, Connie?” I asked. “Moving so fast with all of this, making such huge decisions so quickly…?”

“I think it might be too late to be asking that question,” she replied, putting her own magazine aside. Reilly strolled over and rested his huge head on my lap and looked at me with doleful eyes. He was tired of being inside. “Am I hearing doubts…?”

“I think I’m just nervous because he’s not here,” I said. “This is exactly the sort of thing I need him here for.”

“He’ll be back soon,” she said soothingly. “They both will. You’re giving him a wonderful life to come home to.”

“Am I asking too much in return?” I blurted, startling us both. “I talked with Mom and she opened up more in one conversation than she did in my entire childhood.” I swallowed more tea. “I know she’s happy for us… but I got the impression that she’s not convinced Jason’s giving up his work because it’s what he wants…”

“Does it matter so much, as long as he does?” she glanced at me sideways.

“Maybe his job isn’t so much what he does, as who he is,” I said, getting up to pace again. Reilly gave a soft snort and paced circles of his own in front of the fire before he finally settled down. “Maybe I don’t have the right to ask so much…”

Connie stood up and took my gently by the shoulders. “There isn’t any right or wrong answer to that,” she said, sagely. “There’s only what works and what doesn’t. Have you two talked about this… I mean really talked about it since you’ve been back together? Three years ago, you gave up a promising career in photography, in part because he wasn’t all that crazy about the idea of his wife traipsing around in the middle of nowhere, risking life and limb.” She looked at me sternly. “He wanted to keep you safe, just like you want for him. But what do you both want now?”

A new wave of nervousness ran through me, and I felt my body clench in response. “Now I want to pee,” I said. Had we really said enough? Had I really listened to his needs… and had he listened to mine? Had I ever even told him how I felt…?

She picked up the box on the coffee table and smacked it into my hand. “First things first, “ she said, “and then you’ll know.” She smiled at the look on my face and gave me a push toward the stairs. “Trust me,” she said.

“You’ll know.”