“I won’t let him take her from me.”

“Who the fuck says he wants to, Angie?”

I had thrown another handful of clothes into the suitcase and was digging into the back of the closet for a missing shoe. I spun around to face her.

“He can’t have any more children, Mattie. Violet is his one and only chance at fatherhood.” I ran an exasperated hand through the mess of my hair. “We’ve been apart for years. And it seems like he’s been getting along just fine without me. We met again at a fucking bondage club…” Mattie threw me a sidelong glance. “Again, no offense…,” I added, swallowing.

“I just don’t see why you’re in such a fucking hurry to throw away a man who’s obviously ga-ga over you,” she replied dryly. “It’s not like he forgot all about you all those years, either. He was trying to find you…”

I stuffed the errant shoe into the bag and sat down on the bed. “And he did,” I said, with a sigh. “He found us… and he gave me a job that should have gone to someone with a hell of a lot more experience than I have.

“Something to be grateful for…”

“He did it all in secret, Mattie,” I said, my empty stomach rolling. “He made sure I never knew it was him until I’d signed the contract and we were already on the island. He talks to me about trust and honesty… Was that honest, Mattie?”

She frowned and crossed her arms stubbornly. “I think he knew you were a fucking flight risk, Angie,” she said plainly. “And it looks to me like he called it.” She reached out a hand to push the suitcase away. “I’ve seen this too many times, honey,” she said gently. “You take a few baby steps forward and you get scared.

And you use Violet as an excuse… to never let yourself get close to anyone. Or to let them get too close to you.”

“That isn’t fair,” I shot back, bitter tears stinging my eyes. “I’m a single mom. My child is supposed to be my first priority.”

“Your happiness is supposed to be your first priority,” she said softly. “Because if momma ain’t happy or fulfilled, then baby won’t be either…” She looked at me and blinked. “You matter, too…”

I sat, open-mouthed, unable to respond. She was so calm, so straightforward… so infuriatingly right…

“Will’s one of the good ones, Angie,” she said, taking my hand in hers. “And I know damned well he’s a big part of the reason you never got close to any other man.” She took a big breath in and let it out noisily through her nose, taking her time. “It isn’t fair to any of you… to him, or to Violet… to run away from a man you happen to be in love with. Not to mention what it could mean to Violet to have a chance to have a real father, her real father, in her life.”

“And if he decides it’s too much?” I said, letting the tears spill over my cheeks. “I know what it’s like to have a child who needs so much extra care. He doesn’t, Mattie. Even if he loves me and I love him… what if he decides halfway in that it’s all too much? Or he decides I’m not what he wants anymore, and tries to take Violet away from me. He’s got the resources to…”

“Do you really want to base your future and Violet’s on a bunch of what-ifs, Angie?” She frowned and handed me a box of tissues. Practical girl…

“He built a sex room in his house, Mattie,” I said, exasperated.

“Lucky girl,” she replied evenly, with that unflappable smile.

“Just be back by seven,” she said. “I’ll have dinner ready and everything else taken care of. Just go enjoy yourselves.”

I handed Violet her little plastic pail and struggled to get the leash snapped onto Miri’s collar. Her little back was arched and she was dancing, eager to get outside. What she needed was a good long run on the beach. So did I.

“I don’t know what I’d ever do without you, Mattie,” I said, straightening up and opening the door. The brisk scent of salt water made me take my first full breath in, in as long as I could remember. “You know I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me… for us.”

She scowled lightly. “You don’t have to thank me, Angie,” she said. “You just need to be happy.” She shooed us out with a look. “Seven, remember…”

And we were off. The sand was so fine and soft, I couldn’t help but kick off my shoes. Violet held my hand and walked beside me slowly, but Miri pulled at the leash. She’d been cooped up too long and, in spite of her excellent training, was bursting with puppy energy.

“I can take her leash if you like…” His voice warm, close… resonant. And even as my mind resisted, my body relaxed and responded to his tone. He was sitting among the smooth dark rocks that formed a natural jetty. He was barefoot and in jeans, a black pullover showing roped, tanned forearms. My insides rolled, and I remembered absently that I’d forgotten to eat…

“She needs exercise,” I answered as coolly as I could. “So do I, really. This is the kind of sand that’s made for a good long run.”

“I can give her a run, let her burn off her energy… It isn’t any good, holding it inside…,” he said, standing up and moving closer to us. The denim hugged his long, lean legs as he made his way down, setting off a riot of feelings inside me.

“Or we could come along with you,” I replied, leaning down to pick up Violet and putting her on my hip. “As long as you two don’t go too fast. Miri’s not as little as she used to be.”

“Well, then…,” he said, reaching for Violet before I realized what was happening. “How about if…,” he said as he lifted her in one easy swing up to his shoulders, “we all go slow. I could walk for hours on this beach,” he said, looking down at me, taking my hand in his.

But my nails dug into his palm. I braced for her temper to let go… for my little daughter’s typical response to the sudden touch of a stranger. She might be mute, but she could scratch and strike out with her knees and her little feet. She’d done it before… I opened my mouth, gulping in a breath to warn him, to soothe her… but when I looked up to her…

She wasn’t pulling his hair. Her little fingers were wrapped around his cheeks, but they weren’t biting in and scratching. She wasn’t smiling… but the anxiety I expected to see wasn’t there either. She sat on his broad shoulders, looking out over the water with curious eyes… as if she was waiting to see what would happen next…

“I won’t change my mind, Will,” I said softly. “I wish I could help you to understand…”

The sun was setting fast and even Miri was sound asleep. I carried her, warm and furry in my arms, as we headed back. Will had Violet, and her head rested comfortably against his shoulder, her eyelids bobbing heavily. “Today was wonderful, but it doesn’t really change anything.”

“Then maybe tonight will,” he said, his voice gentle… seductive. “Come up to the house… after Violet goes to bed. Mattie’s back… she can stay with her.”

“She’s my responsibility, Will…”

“Then bring her with you. There are half a dozen extra bedrooms in the house.” He grinned down at me. “You furnished them yourself.”

I shook my head in frustration. “You don’t understand. She isn’t like other children. You can’t just expect her to adjust to new surroundings.”

“She’s been happy at the cottage,” he said, shifting her weight on his shoulder. “You told me yourself how well she adjusted to the move. Besides, what I’m planning for us may not be exactly what you’re thinking…”

By the time we reached the front steps of the cottage, I was exasperated, starving, and I knew… grasping for straws. I knew I needed to tell him that we’d be leaving for good in the morning. That there wouldn’t be any more nights together. That Mattie had packed up the last of our things while we’d been spending our final afternoon on the beach. I turned to him, not knowing what words to use…

Mattie saved me by opening the front door.

“Fifteen minutes late. I swear if that chicken is dry…

Hey, Will,” she said, seeing him over my shoulder. She looked back and forth between us and pursed her lips. “I see you got the invite.”

It was my turn to look from one to the other. “You asked him to dinner?”

She took the puppy from my arms and disappeared for a moment, to tuck her into her bed. I could still hear Miri’s snore from the other room. “I thought he had a right to hear what I have to say,” she said finally. “Will Violet wake up enough to eat, or is she out for the night?”

“I’ll put her to bed,” I answered, taking her from Will’s arms. “Once she’s asleep, she won’t wake up for anything…”

And I carried her to her room, my stomach churning, my heart racing.