It was too dark to see her. But I could sense her every emotion. Anger, bewilderment… disbelief…

disgust…

Before I’d left for the cabin, I’d done what I could to stop the story in its tracks, explaining to the guests that it was all just an argument that had gotten out of hand. Thank god, no reporters had gotten past security at the party. And Ben had headed straight back to the city to do what he could. Even so, the silence had been broken now, and there was no telling how many other women might come forward with accusations. Calm, collected women… who had every fucking right to be angry…

But all I cared about was Emily. She’d been silent… all too silent, listening as I poured out the entire story. I’d held nothing back. I’d told her everything about the competition, from the beginning to the end. It was a story of weakness and indulgence. A story of selfishness and deceit. It was also a story of lessons learned, but far too late. I could have made a thousand excuses, but I’d made none. I waited, sharing Emily’s painful silence with her. I realized, as my chest squeezed painfully, that one more awareness that had come to me as well… and all too late. She was wrapped in my shirt and pacing the floor.

“It was a game,” she whispered finally. “To see if you could… To see who would let you…”

“It was for the excitement,” I admitted, unwilling to give her less than the truth. “For the challenge, too.” I looked her in the eye and took a deep breath. “I liked the danger,” I added quietly. “The idea that I might get caught… and the challenge of avoiding it.” I wanted to reach out for her hands, but kept still. “I stopped over a year ago. Because it had gotten out of hand. The betting…” I shifted my eyes, unable to meet her gaze any longer. “I knew it was wrong. That all of it was wrong. Long before I left the competition. But I stayed silent anyway, letting the others go on with it. Outside the circle of players, you’re the only one who knows.”

“Did you do it too… ? Place bets…?” she asked. Her eyes didn’t waver. I could feel them on my skin.

“A couple of times,” I said truthfully, gritting my teeth with the effort. “It was almost ten years ago, and in the very beginning.” I raked my hands through my hair and left them there, holding my head and feeling the painful throb in my temples. “I couldn’t after that… The others kept it up, but that wasn’t the part that I needed.”

She nodded and stood up, walking to the window that overlooked the water. Moonlight put her in silhouette. She was still, unnaturally calm. “You just wanted the sex.”

“I wanted the challenge,” I said, knowing she could never understand. That no matter how I tried to explain it, I could never justify it.

“You have no reason to trust me, Emily. And I know that. I’m not even asking you to try. But I want you to know that you were never part of this. I didn’t go to Sutton’s party for the game. And I always hated the kind of spectacle he was after.” I heaved a sigh of impatience. “I was only there to make sure you were safe.”

“Or to make sure I didn’t find out?” she asked, without moving. “I told you I could take care of myself. And I meant it.”

“Sutton had interest,” I replied fast, coming up behind her. “He wanted me to play… Or to take you for himself. I’m not sure now he even cared which. But he’s been trying to force me back in the game for months.” I took a shaky breath that left my lungs feeling raw. “But I swear, with whatever honor I still have as a man, that I was there for you. Only for you.

And I’m here for you now. I want you more than ever, Emi. Every time we’ve been together, I couldn’t stop thinking how much I wanted you in private. Where you could be all mine. Only mine.” I reached out and touched her hand, catching it lightly, stopping her from pulling away. “You’re the only woman who’s ever slept in this bed, Emi. With or without me in it. You’re the only one I ever wanted more with…”

“More? Than a quick fuck, and then on to the next?” The sky was beginning to lighten and I could see her face. She was pale and there were dark smudges under her eyes. She pushed a strand of hair away. It had tangled in her lashes… “I thought you were different,” she said, dully. “I knew Sutton for what he was from the start, but I thought you were so different…

And I’m just like Pam,” she whispered, more to herself than to me. “I just got paid off with a delivery van instead of cash… Christ, Chase… There was cash too. That extra two thousand…” Her eyes were huge and her breath was coming far too fast. “I thought we were starting something real, that it was me you were responding to. All that time, I thought you were a gentleman…”

She pulled her hand out of mine and backed away, watching my face in the early morning light. The dawn breeze rustled branches against the windowpanes as I sank down on the edge of the bed, hanging my head. “I’m not, Emi,” I said quietly. “And I never claimed to be. I know I’m no fucking good for you… for anyone. But what I feel for you is real. And what happened between us was very real…”

“Oh… god… Oh my god…,” she gasped out. “The balcony… the fucking balcony… You knew what you were after, Chase, and you got it. You were there for me, alright,” she said, her beautiful green eyes wide and horrified.

I stood, reaching for her again, but she held out a single hand. The look on her face stopped me cold.

“Right there, where anyone could see,” she said, her voice chilling me to the bone. “He won didn’t he? He got you back in the game the only way he could… by getting you to compete for me. Sutton won… and you’re back in the game. He was your opponent…

and I was just the pawn.”