Chapter 17: Carrie

The following morning, I awoke, feeling eyes on me.

I tried to ignore it and turn over, but I continued to feel the eyes piercing into the back of my head.

Eventually, the feeling became too much. I groaned and rolled over. Johnathan was sitting there, staring at me, possibly watching me sleep. I wasn’t sure how I should feel about this, though I couldn’t help an initial sense of comfort flow over me.

While I was still curious as to why he was staring at me, I was pleased that he was there.

I started to grin at him but then, I remembered everything that transpired.

I narrowed my eyes and started to get up.

“Whoa, be careful. What are you doing?” He insisted.

“I’m sure you want to get a move on, so let’s go. The sooner we get to the ranger’s station, the sooner you can get me out of your hair.”

At first, Johnathan didn’t answer me, and I wasn’t sure why. After all, the night before, he had made it crystal clear that he was going whether I was ready to go or not. So, I was simply trying to comply, knowing that the sooner we were able to get going, the sooner I could return to civilization and put this whole experience behind me.

Still, it appeared he was searching through the insults I had flung at him to figure out an appropriate way to respond.

He wasn’t usually so careful with his words, so I was curious about what made him be so cautious now.

“Okay, so, I’m not good at this anyway, but you just made it a little harder. Thank you, very much. You seem to have a talent for that,” he hissed, but didn’t give me time to rebuke before he replied, “I’m trying to say, I’m sorry. You were right. I was out of line and I didn’t mean what I said. I was reacting to what you were telling me. I was angry that you had figured me out so easily, and because you were showing me a part of myself that I don’t like. I thought a lot about this last night and I figured that the decent thing to do would be to tell you the truth. If this is going to be the last time we see each other, I don’t want you to remember me as a total asshole.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I…Work really hard at being the right…a specific…You know what, never mind. Any way I say that is going to sound awful,” he insisted and this time, he let out a small chuckle that I believed might actually be genuine.

I grinned back at him, pleased that he was finally opening up to me. I was so excited, that the anger I felt dissipated completely.

“It’s okay. I forgive you…and I am sorry for giving you the truth in such a hurtful manner,” I answered in a slightly teasing voice.

“Well, that was probably the worst apology I’ve ever heard,” he answered, but continued to keep a small grin curled in the corner of his mouth, which made my heart flutter.

I giggled, “No, but seriously, I am sorry if I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Yeah, I know,” he insisted, folding his hands together in a manner that made me feel as though he had more that he wanted to get off his chest.

I was cautious, not wanting to be too pushy, so I simply waited and listened, hoping that I came across as welcoming.

“The truth is…that I’m still not sure I should be telling you this…but here it goes. You are right. I have written off humanity, completely, for about five years now. I only go into town when I really need food, or when I am starting to get cabin fever. I was never much of a people person to begin with but after…an incident, my ability to cope was…bad. I was suicidal, anti-social and, just a burden on anyone who tried to help me. I would show up drunk to the friends that I still had and did a few…regrettable things in pursuit of closure. I never hurt anyone, or anything like that, but eventually, I decided that it was better for everyone if I wasn’t around anymore. Honestly, I’m too much of a coward to kill myself, besides, the dog needs me.”

At this, as though knowing he was being referred to, Jake groaned in his sleep and turned over, his large body thudding down on the ground, shaking it slightly.

“I’m sorry,” I answered quietly, carefully getting to my feet and hobbling over to sit beside him.

“Yeah, it sucked. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone. I chased away anyone who tried to visit me and eventually, people got the hint. I’m not hiding from anything, except maybe responsibility,” he chuckled, “But meeting you, it’s given me a new perspective. There is something about you that I can’t put out of my mind.”

“Awe,” I insisted, placing my hand overtop his as a smile overtook my features.

“No, please don’t be happy about that. It’s been a pain in the ass,” he insisted and then, quickly added, “Remember, I’m being honest here. I don’t want to lie to you.” With that, he pulled his hand out of my grasp and looked down, between his knees, as though he was truly ashamed of something, “You’re right. I have been trying to push you away and that is the reason I said those things to you. I’ve been trying to pick a fight with you, trying to get you out of my head.” At this, he looked at me through a sideways glance and let out a long breath, “I didn’t know how to handle these feelings. I thought that there was no way I could ever feel that way again and then, with you, it was just so damn easy. I wanted you from the first time I saw you, but it was more than just sexual…which was strange, because I didn’t even know you…Then, I got to know you a little better and there wasn’t anything that you did that turned me off…Trust me, I tried to find something, but even your honesty was a turn-on.” His shoulders rose and fell as he spoke, as though he wasn’t quite sure how to continue.

I didn’t want to interrupt him, but briefly wondered if he was looking for encouragement.

However, before I could think of anything I deemed appropriate to say, he started to speak again, “I mean, it’s weird to me, having someone give a shit about me. Most of my friends just eventually left me to my own devices, or would agree with me, trying to make me feel better. There wasn’t one person I knew who had the balls to tell me what they felt, how they perceived how I was acting, so I eventually didn’t want anything to do with any of them. I moved up here and things got better. I wasn’t so hateful. Then, the loneliness got to me and to combat that, I convinced myself that there was no way I would let anyone do anything like this to me again. So, I cut myself off from everyone I knew. Then, you came along and screwed it all up,” at that, he chuckled, and his eyes were alight with humor as they gazed at me.

I grinned, though I felt bad. I still didn’t know what it was that had made him feel this way, but I was certain this was a terrible way to live.

“I’m sorry…I think?” I replied, trying to add some lightheartedness to the conversation.

“No, I guess, ultimately it was good, because it made me face a lot of shit. I mean, Jake is a good dog, but…”

“He’s a dog?”

“Yeah, so he was pretty much just as complacent as everyone else…However, not when it came to you. He immediately liked you.”

“Well, the feeling is mutual.” I exclaimed as my eyes wandered over to Jake, who was now asleep on his back, with his paws up in the air, looking like he was dreaming about running. I looked back at Johnathan, now with amorous, hopefully encouraging intent and replied in a playfully teasing manner, “You, on the other hand, I still think I need to warm up to you.”

He laughed, “Good luck. Not even I’ve managed to do that yet.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, now growing a little more serious with him, “Well, the first thing you need to do is start to trust yourself. If you put too much trust in other people, you’re bound to get let down more often than anything else.”

“Considering I’m a grown-ass man who became a mountain man because I didn’t want to deal with my problems, tells me that my own personality is a little shaky,” he replied with a serious note to his jibe.

“Sometimes people need to get away,” I insisted, “I mean, there was nothing wrong with my life and I came here to get away. If something detrimental happened to me, there’s a possibility I would come up here.”

“Yeah, I chose here because of the cabin. My grandfather left it to me. I would use it to fish, but when I decided to fall off the map, I decided it was the perfect place to land.”

“For being a fishing cabin, it is extremely homey,” I admitted, “Very quiet and comforting.”

“I agree. It’s the last thing I have that connects me to my family.”

“What about your parents?”

“I haven’t spoken to them in a long time,” he admitted, “I don’t know what they think about me. They might even think I’m dead.”

“Well, that’s a terrible thing to make them believe.”

He shrugged, “I didn’t tell them that and it wasn’t like they were a beacon of support…I was kinda the black sheep of the family. Not that I ever did anything wrong, I just did things my own way, so they distanced themselves from me. Bad for their image.”

“Oh…” I answered, unsure exactly what that meant, but I figured if it was important, he would enlighten me. “That’s sad.”

“It is what it is. I went to them for help, they told me to fuck off…Not in so many words, but that was the bush they were beating around.”

“Wow,” I thought aloud, “My parents and I have had our differences, but if I ever needed anything…”

“Yeah, my brother could go to my parents with a body in his trunk and they’d help him hide it…Probably take the secret to their grave, but me, I was always considered a liability.”

“I’m sorry,” I admitted, “That can’t be easy.”

“Eh, it was fine. You learn to deal with that kind of shit. At least my parents were honest about who they were. They always treated me like crap,” he chuckled slightly, but it was a humorless laugh, that made me sad for him.

“Listen, I know I was kind of joking around before, but I am really sorry for what I said and how I said it. I was trying to help, but I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Trust me, you didn’t,” he insisted, “I was just bitching because I didn’t want to hear what you were telling me. I hated that you were right. That’s all it was.”

“Well, then I’m sorry for going to bed angry. I know, in your own way, you were trying to apologize, and I completely shut you down.”

Johnathan snickers at this and reminded me, “You know, we aren’t an old married couple, so shit like that doesn’t matter…” As he spoke, however, his voice softened, and he added, “Not yet, anyway.”

I felt my stomach do summersaults as I laid my head on his shoulder in response. Carefully, I laced my fingers in his, holding his hand tightly as I asked, “Johnathan, is there anything I can do to prove to you that I do, genuinely care about you?”

“I’m starting to believe it,” he admitted, “But unfortunately, there really isn’t anything that anyone can do. I mean, I’m willing to give it a shot, which is a big step for me, giving you, or anyone the benefit of the doubt, but ultimately, time is all that will help make me certain of your intentions.”

At first, I felt as though we were making progress, but when he slid his hand out of mine again and sighed, I could tell there was something more that he wasn’t saying.

“Okay,” I insisted, “what is the problem, then?”

“While I can give you credit on some levels, I’m not sure I am willing to invest the amount of time, since I’ve done that already…but that’s also the only source of proof.”

“That isn’t fair, Johnathan,” I answered, turning toward him now, feeling frustrated by his stonewalling me.

“I understand that,” he explained, raising his shoulders in a manner that showed me he was just as frustrated at the situation as I was. “Like I said, I’m trying to be honest.”

“Yes, but if you really want this to work, you must give me something to work towards, to work with,” I let out a calming breath and grasped his hand with both of mine, “I am willing to put in the time. I can be patient with you. I just need you to be willing to do the same for me, or it isn’t going to work.”

“Then, maybe it shouldn’t work,” he answered in a finalizing manner that annoyed me.

“If you feel that way, why did you tell me all of this?” I inquired, feeling as though we had taken far more than simply two steps back in our progress.

“Because, I want you to understand.”

“Why? If you don’t think it’s going to work, if you’re not even willing to try it, why even waste the time telling me any of this?”

“Can you tell me it’s going to work?”

“What?” I asked, not completely sure if he was actually asking me a question or speaking rhetorically.

“If we gave this a shot, could you tell me with absolute certainty that we were going to work?”

I narrowed my eyes, slightly confused by what he was trying to ask me, although I answered his question honestly, “Of course not. Nobody can say whether it’s gong to work or not, but you also can’t tell me for certainty that it isn’t going to work, unless we don’t even bother trying.”

“You’re right, but why try if there’s a possibility it’s going to fail?”

“Why not try, when the alternative is absolute failure.”

“Because what could’ve been is a lot easier to deal with then certain failure,” he answered honestly.

I drew a deep breath out, pitying him for what he was telling me, “If you truly believe that, then I can’t help you. For your sake, I hope I’m not the right one, and there is someone out there that will make you want to try it, but right now, here, with you, I am willing to take the risk.”

“What happens when you go back to your normal life?” Johnathan retorted.

“We will adapt. I will visit on weekends and maybe, you will want to come visit me,” I grinned with encouragement.

“You wouldn’t want that,” he scowled.

“Actually, I would,” I answered, reaching up to kiss him, hoping that the moment I felt we were sharing was the same for both of us, but it must not have been as strong, if there at all for Johnathan, because he pulled back.

When I opened my eyes and looked at him, he seemed apologetic, but he didn’t offer any kind of explanation.

So, I was prompted to pry, so that I could understand him.

“Johnathan, please tell me what happened to you. Why did you decide to live your life up here all alone? And, why am I being punished for someone else’s actions?”

“First of all, it’s not you,” he answered, almost immediately, but didn’t give any further response.

“Okay,” I answered, this time insinuating that I would like more of an answer then the copout he had tried to give me.

Johnathan hesitated, notably thinking about what to say next. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to give me another line, or if he was trying to figure out how to answer my questions, but I waited patiently to find out.

Eventually, he started to tell me, and I could tell this wasn’t easy for him.

“Her name is Sarah…We met at work. I worked in a bank and she was a client. I had what I thought to be one of the most boring jobs in the world and she traveled the world. She would come into the bank a lot and talk to me, because with all her trips, she needed to make sure her affairs were in order. She never wanted to run out of money while she was overseas, so she asked for budgeting and currency-exchange tips. She was a client for a few years at the bank and she would always look for me when she came in,” he grinned, “It was nice…and eventually, we started to talk about things that were not related to her finances. Eventually, I asked her on a date. One thing led to another and we lived together for five years. I proposed, she said yes. I knew that she was a wild girl, with an adventurous soul, but I trusted her. We were set to be married in a month. Everything was set. Hell, even Jake was supposed to be in the wedding. I couldn’t wait, and I had no idea that there was anything wrong. Then, one morning, she woke up and announced she was leaving me. She didn’t give me a reason, except that she didn’t want to get married. She didn’t want to be tied down. I was desperate. I told her that we could work on us, that we didn’t have to get married, that she could have all the time she needed.” He stopped, as his jaw tightened, and his eyes assured me that he was somewhere far away.

“Oh, God…” I replied, gingerly putting a hand on his arm, which he abruptly removed.

“Carrie,” he insisted, his eyes now piercing into mine with the serious nature of his expression, “When I tell you, I did everything I possibly could to get her to stay…I begged her not to leave. It really was pathetic…especially because my attempts to get her to at least talk to me didn’t seem to affect her at all. She left, and I was devastated. However, to add insult to injury, a few days after the breakup, or I guess, dumping, would be the more appropriate term, I was having a few drinks with my buddy, and he let it slip that it was probably for the best, since she wasn’t faithful to me. I was still in that denial stage, so I was ready to fight him, defend her honor and all that, when he confessed that he thought I knew. I demanded to know what he thought I knew, exactly and he told me that Sarah had slept around on me for years…She had even slept with the guy I was drinking with…and he was supposed to be my best friend.”

“Oh my God,” I exclaimed, “I couldn’t imagine what I would do in that situation.”

“At the time neither could I. Of course, when I finally believed what he was saying, I wanted to beat the living shit out of him, but he left, and I let him go. I talked to some of my other friends after that, trying to piece together some kind of a timeline and they all had similar stories.”

“What?” I exclaimed, unable to imagine sleeping around with one person, much less nearly all my friends.

“Yeah!” He replied with a hollow laugh, “It still doesn’t even seem real to me. I was so angry and the last thing I wanted to do was find more people, but before I could stop, I was asking another one of them, who eventually either told me, or led me to believe that they were with her too. It got to the point where I was convinced she was sleeping with my friends more than she was sleeping with me. I was devastated. I wanted to confront her about all of it, but I couldn’t find her. She wouldn’t return my phone calls and her friends refused to tell me anything about her whereabouts. It was awful. They made me feel like an abusive asshole, just because I wanted answers…” He huffed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry…” I insisted, “But, surely there was one friend?”

“Yeah, there was. Except, what he told me, was even worse news. I asked him straight out, as I had asked everyone else if he had slept with Sarah…He told me that he hadn’t, and I believed him, but he was one of those guys that was never good at hiding anything, so ironically, most of us didn’t trust him all that much. He was a nervous guy and after this conversation, I remembered that he was particularly nervous around me, and had been for a long time. I always thought it was odd, but like I said, he was a weird dude…But he told me, that not only had he not slept with her, he had to refuse her…Multiple times. Apparently, she was on a mission to sleep with every one of my friends. I wasn’t sure why she needed to accomplish this, but after all the shit I’d heard recently about her, I would just about believe anything.”

“You know, people aren’t all like that,” I told him, trying to be comforting, but unsure if I had actually managed to hit the mark.

“Yeah, I know. I mean, I want to believe that, but that’s not even where the story ends. So, I go to my parent’s house for dinner one night and she fucking shows up! She makes a big scene in front of my folks and my brother, who for some reason completely hates me…So, I figure, I don’t want to deal with this, so I leave. I go to the bar, then, at around ten-thirty, the cops show up at the bar. They arrest me. Now, I’m plastered as fuck, so I’m not even sure if this is real, a dream, or what. However, I get booked, on God knows what and get thrown in a cell. The next morning, I wake up with the worst hangover ever and a charge against me for assault. Apparently, after I left my parent’s house, she stormed out and made it look like I had beat the shit out of her. She slashed her own tires, punched herself, broke a few ribs and did whatever she could, to make me look like the biggest piece of shit walking.”

“What? Why?”

He shrugged, “I dunno. She was the one who wanted to leave, it wasn’t like I had money…She wasn’t going to get anything, even if she successfully sued. I’m not sure what her plan was. Fortunately, the charges didn’t stick, but that was only because I got lucky and got an officer who was willing to check out what was going on. During the investigation, we found out that I wasn’t the first guy she had tried to do this to. She apparently had done it twice before and taken the poor bastards for everything they had. The first time, generally, it’s an open and shut case. The second time, it’s suspicious, but the third time, it seems she pushed her luck just a little too far. So, the charges were dropped, and I was let go, but during the process, I had called my parents, thinking that they could at least attest to my story, that I was there and left, before she even left their house, but they were no help whatsoever. They were embarrassed by the whole thing and told me that was what I got for sleeping around with a whore. They actually told me that I deserved it. They refused to say anything at all to the police and pretty much washed their hands of me.”

Again, he shook his head and I placed my hand on his back, trying to be comforting.

“It’s weird. I lived with this woman and I was so blinded by…love, lust, or whatever, that I didn’t see the person she truly was. The person I thought I loved, didn’t even exist…At least, not really. I don’t know if she was on some kind of revenge kick, power trip, or what happened to her, to make her act that way and do those things, but it completely shattered me. I couldn’t trust anyone ever again.”

“Well, I can definitely understand why…” I shook my head as his words sunk in, “God, Johnathan, I couldn’t imagine…Losing everyone you cared about…”

“No, not losing them, realizing that I never had them to begin with, and that they never gave a shit about me. Everyone I know was gone, just like that…Except for that one guy. Tom. I tried to keep a friendship with him, after cutting everyone else out of my life. However, every time I saw him, or anyone, I would just get angry. I started drinking heavily, which was stupid. I went to work drunk on more than one occasion, because I couldn’t sit in my cubicle and conduct business sober, knowing that this was where we met. Then, one day, she came into my bank and made a big deal. Security was called, she was escorted out and I left. I never went back and that was the day I decided that I was done. I packed what little shit I cared about, took Jake and moved out here. Tom came to see me a few times, but I couldn’t even manage to be civil with him, so eventually, he stopped coming. I didn’t blame him, but I was upset by being alone. I continued to drink, until I realized that I needed to save my money. So, I started to do odd jobs on the mountain for people. I never worked for the same person twice though and eventually learned to pretty much live off the land. I get most of my meat in town, but everything else, I grow, catch, or make. It’s ben a long time since I even had a visitor, much less someone I could actually talk to.”

I grinned encouragingly at him, wrapping my arms around him for support.

“I can’t begin to express how sorry I am. That’s a terrible way to have to live,” I replied.

“It’s actually not as bad as I think I’m making it sound, but it does get kind of lonely. I mean, while I don’t want to put my trust in anyone again, it’s hard not to miss being around people sometimes. I mean, Jake is a great companion, but there’s only so many times you can talk to the dog before you start to feel crazy.”

“I get that,” I answered, but didn’t elaborate. There were things about this very mountain that made me feel similar to the situation Johnathan was describing. However, at least he was talking about a dog. Still, I didn’t elaborate, and Johnathan didn’t ask. I was thankful.

For as open as I was about my life and as willing as I felt to allow Johnathan to get to know me, there was something about that conversation that was still off limits in my mind.

We were quiet for a long while. I placed my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and breathing in the scent of him.

Soon, though, I felt eyes, staring at me.

At first, I tried to ignore the gaze, knowing that it was Johnathan, but eventually, the feeling was too substantial, and I was forced to open my eyes.

When I did, I saw that Johnathan was close to my face, grinning in a strange manner. It was a sad smile, that accompanied dark eyes. The light in his gaze was completely lost to his memory, but there was still a slightly hopeful vibe coming from somewhere deep inside his expression.

“Thank you,” he insisted, and I returned a beam of acknowledgement.

“For what?” I asked, turning my head in an effort to be consoling and attentive.

“For putting up with me. If I were you, I would’ve killed me by now. I can be a real pain in the ass,” he answered in a slightly humored way.

“I still owe you my life,” I responded, half teasing, “So, that buys you some time.”

“You’re beautiful,” he insisted, catching me off guard, “And I am such a fucking fool.”

With that, he pressed his lips against mine, as his arms wound around me, bringing him close to me.

Immediately, I reciprocated the kiss, weaving my hands through his hair and pulling him close to me.

The taste of him was refreshing and despite my fatigue, his kiss was inspiring and renewing.

All I wanted at that moment was to be closer to him, to feel him and to have a similar experience here, in the woods, that we had in the cabin.

I didn’t worry about being seen by anyone and I wasn’t even thinking about the threat that the psycho guide might still pose.

Within the moment we kissed, all my worries melted away. I was no longer concerned with the state of my injuries or, anything about the world that did not have to do with Johnathan and I, sharing this moment.

His tongue was naughty and easily thrust into my mouth, winding its way around in a caressing, yet seductive manner; as though it promised what the rest of him intended to do to me. This caused my heart to race and the sensitivity of my nerves to escalate with anticipation.

If this was going to morph into an experience I would never forget, I didn’t want to miss a second of it.

Unsure of how days, or even moments would go, considering our mutual baggage and the looming threat of parting ways, potentially forever, I wanted to take advantage of every opportunity to make a memory with him.

I had learned a long time ago to hold onto the good things and learn from the challenges.

While Johnathan’s fickle ideas about us being together were frustrating, when he was aligned with my ideals, there was no point in sabotaging the moment. I would rather simply enjoy it.

After all, the pain was going to come, if it was meant to be anyway, so I figured there was no sense in dwelling on it.

If Johnathan wanted to be romantic, I wasn’t going to stop him.

I even held out hope that something inside would finally click, and he would start to see things the way I did. I wanted him badly, so any continuing affection kept me hoping that it might last.

“God, I am so sorry for being such a jackass,” he muttered through panting breaths, breaking away for only the moment it took for him to speak.

“Shut up,” I responded, reclaiming his mouth again.

I heard him chuckle behind my lips as his fingertips ran gently through my hair, taking care to avoid the bandage that still wrapped around my head.

I felt overwhelmed with emotion as my body began to buzz with fervor.

Between Johnathan’s natural, alluring scent and the freeing, fresh air that was inherent in the mountains, flowing all around us in the wilderness, I felt spritely.

Strangely enough, I had never thought much about making love outside, as I usually wasn’t that kind of person. I felt that sex should be a personal experience, rather than a rebellious endeavor.

However, as Johnathan started to slide my shirt off my shoulders and urge my nakedness, I didn’t care about anything, other than being with him.

Ravenously, we pawed at one another, removing one another’s clothing hastily, eager to unwrap the gift of one another.

When Johnathan’s chest was revealed to me, I pressed him down, so that his back was against the dirt. I drug my fingers lightly down his robust chest, gliding over his abdomen and finally, picking teasingly at the waistband of his jeans.

He growled in response as our visceral reactions started to control the desires of our flesh.

We were hungry for one another and the arguing we had done previously, contending with the emotion we had both displayed within the past few days was brooding.

It was obvious that we both felt an intense surge of need, transpiring through our bodies. We wanted to leave the world behind and revel in the oneness of one another.

Our hearts and souls called out to each other, even though we had fought and even though there was so much left unsaid between us, words were useless to us now.

I ducked down, seductively surrounding the epicenter of his manhood, while my fingers traced the jeans with a tantalizing slowness. I wanted him to feel an intense sense of longing. I wanted to torment him like he was so fond of tormenting me.

After playing with the jeans for a moment, my hand covered the bulge, which I knew was waiting to be revealed.

I looked up and grinned at him, in a seductive, yet teasing manner as I kneaded him, leaving the pants in between our touch.

As I moved, I slid down, pressing myself against his leg.

Again, I looked up at him, before carefully, I unhinged his pants, finally unveiling his already starkly enthusiastic member.

My body shook as I gazed upon it, instantaneously yearning for it to be inside of me.

Even though it hadn’t been all that long, I had missed him and from the eagerness of his physique, regardless of what Johnathan said, he missed me as well.

Tossing the jeans to the side, I glided myself up and eased myself toward him. I stroked my womanliness, which was already moist and waiting for his entry, up his manliness, before swinging back down.

Straddling him, I clasped my fingers around him and started to stroke, easily and with a slow precision, so that he felt every bit of my movements.

He grinned, leaning his head back and enjoying the foreplay, as I took my thumb and ran it over the tip of his manliness.

Even though he didn’t say anything, I felt his body jerk in reaction and so, I continued to tease him by tugging and stroking him, until I started to feel a need.

At first, it was fun, but eventually, I wanted to be the one, feeling the slow, intricate movements I was creating with my hand.

So, I repositioned myself carefully and after a few strokes, warming my intentions, I inserted him inside me.

I heard Johnathan gasp as I eased down, before pulling up and then returning, in the same slow, tantalizing motion that I had started with.

I closed my eyes, pleased to feel him filling me as every movement pressed deeper inside me.

I groaned as he became slick and my body insisted that I go faster. I swallowed hard and eased myself up, pressing my breasts against him.

Johnathan reacted by grasping each of my breasts and kneading them with just the right amount of force.

I closed my eyes and sat up, focusing on thrusting myself up and down, trying to hold the advancing astonishment of climaxing off as much as I possibly could.

I was enjoying this immensely. Not only did Johnathan make my entire body feel free, the openness of our surrounding, the scent of the earth and the raw feel of it beneath us was invigorating.

It almost felt as though I was becoming one with the earth, as well as with Johnathan.

Laying closer to him, I dragged my fingers across the dirt, trying to stave off the ultimate finally, leaving deep, raked ridges in the ground.

Surprised by my own display of excitement, I was encouraged to continue.

When I reached myself back up and returned to the hasty movement, I felt Johnathan grab one of my breasts, trapping my already hyper-sensitive nipple between his finger and thumb.

Looking at him, he was sure to make eye-contact with me, before he smirked and rolled the bead lightly between his fingers.

I screamed out, trying to pull back, as a surprising sensation coursed through me.

However, between the hold Jonathan had on me and the connection we shared, I was unable to get away.

Pulling me closer to his level, Johnathan took the breast into his mouth and suckled on it, while his tongue flicked and prodded, it, before he started to tease the other.

I yelled out again and started to thrash back and forth. I felt him, vibrating inside of me each time I moved, which caused me to catapult toward ultimate invigoration.

Going back and forth with such fervor eventually caused Johnathan to simply grasp my breasts and play with them as his member started to thrust with excitement as well.

Once the mutual ambrosia entranced us, we were focusing more on our rising pinnacle of success, far more than teasing foreplay.

We moved back and forth with ease, thrashing our bodies around in the dirt, without a care as to what was happening.

At that point, between our intense need, our heightened heartrates, and our heavy breathing, we didn’t focus on anything other than keeping one another satisfied.

Finally, an explosion erupted inside of me at the same time I felt Johnathan insert his love into me.

Climaxing together, we were both completely enraptured in the moment.

This was the most freeing feeling I ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

My only hope now was that it wasn’t all going to come to an abrupt end, once we hit the ranger’s station.

However, as my consciousness disembarked from the trip of pure ambrosia-fueled euphoria, I refused to focus on that.

Instead, I chose to focus on the moment I was living in; the excitement I was privy to and the freedom that I was awarded.

I wasn’t sure if I would ever get the chance to feel this way again, so I was going to enjoy every second of it for as long as it lasted.