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Could a man like Ayden love a man like me?

What would that even be like - to hold all his attention? I bored easy yet for some inexplicable reason I knew with certainty I would never tire of him. Dreaming. I was bloody dreaming, wasn’t I? Scumbag like me couldn’t keep someone like Ayden, just a glimpse of this flat conveyed he was way out of my league.

“Whose place is this?”

He still had a hold of me, his breathing pitched against my neck, my hard on still bursting in my pants at the forcefulness of his actions. Fuck, he barely need to touch me, and I was a pathetic mess.

Letting go, he sat down on the side of his bed. “Mine. Well, my dad’s really.”

The flat screamed money, a lot of money, down to its fixtures and fittings. This was the third time I’d been here and although they seemed to not flaunt what they had with a modest tv and such, it still stank of pound notes. Nothing looked ‘showy’ or flamboyant but at least their furniture matched. Unlike mine. And not broken.

I sat down next to him and peeled off my jumper, the temperature in the room warm. “What does your dad do?”

“You wanna get into bed?”

“You gonna seduce me if I do?”

He laughed out loud then quickly checked himself, shoving his hand over his mouth. “Tempting,” he mumbled. Stripping off clothes until he was down to a pair of electric blue boxers, he nudged me on the leg then made a show of climbing into bed, pulling what covers I wasn’t sitting on, up to his waist. “Get in, Shaun. I’ve seen it before. Don’t be shy.”

Fuck it, I followed suit and stripped down to my impossibly tight briefs in record time. Ayden watched, then flung the duvet back and invited me into his bed.

“Come on.”

I crawled in, feeling self-conscious about all the random looking ink that covered my chest, neck and arms. Even my thighs hadn’t escaped the addiction I had for the sting of the needle. I was riddled with memories and bad decisions, each one glaringly obvious in the pictures painted across my skin. I was blacker than pink.

“My dad owns hotels. Him and his best friend have loads up and down the country. They’re in the process of selling a lot off though, I think he’s had enough.”

“How comes?”

Ayden shifted down the bed, the coarse hair of his legs tickling against mine. “I’m not interested in that kind of thing. I told my dad early on I didn’t want to go into the family business, so they decided to wrap it up. And now, they’re trying something different.”

“Aren’t we all?” I mused. “What about your mum?” I was a bit jealous he had parents who clearly gave a shit.

“My mum and dad got divorced recently. She’s not around, not seen her in a while. She was a piss poor mother to be honest.”

“But you and your dad are tight, yeah?”

“Yeah. What about your dad?”

“Deadbeat. Been gone a while, wasn’t a good man at all.” Those were the facts.

Ayden rolled onto his side and propped his head onto his fisted hand. “You’re not your father, Shaun.”

He was so wrong. He didn’t know what he was saying, didn’t know about all the things I’d done which made me the same as my old man. Maybe one day I wouldn’t be, but right up until this very moment, I was very much my father’s son, through and through.

I watched as Ayden’s eyes trailed across the many stories littering my skin, probably trying to make sense of the images only I understood. Nonsensical words and depictions to everyone else.

“Who’s Scotty?”

Wiggling my fingers in front of my face and reading the letters I saw every time I looked at my hands, I told him. “My brother. He died years ago.”

He offered no apologies, asked no further questions and I was thankful for it. When people said sorry, I’d always wondered what they were sorry for. It wasn’t their fault and it felt impersonal, like sorry was what they should automatically say. The circumstances of my brother’s death were hard and bitter, still scraped me raw when I thought about him. I didn’t embrace it, I tucked Scotty away and chose to ink my chest and hands as the constant reminder I could deal with.

“I have an idea.” The mood shifted in the room again, a good shift and I relaxed further into the bed to face him. I’d never done anything like this before, but I decided I could get used to it. “Uni’s finished. I can take Sophie down to my dad’s for a couple of weeks. Get her out of Brighton, give you some breathing space to sort out whatever it is you need to.”

“That’s going above and beyond. I mean, it sounds great, but I can’t ask that of you.”

“You didn’t. I offered.”

“It’s an imposition,” I argued.

Ayden ran a finger over my eyebrow, left to right, then rubbed back over again, the sensation oddly soothing. “Would it help? Give you time?”

I closed my eyes, “yeah...”

“She’s been down before, loves it there. She wouldn’t think twice if I asked her.”

He was offering Sophie a sanctuary I couldn’t. How did I get so lucky to find a man like him? It felt too good to be true, I never had things like this - unselfish offers - and it was too good to pass up, a way to keep Sophie safer than if she was still in Brighton.

“What about you?” I asked.

“What about me?”

“I’d like to see you again. I can’t explain it but you’re different. I don’t have to pretend with you, pretend to be someone I don’t care to be. I doubt I could cope with not seeing you again. There’s an ocean to swim before I’m anywhere near being good enough for you. But I wanna jump all in.”

Ayden’s finger trailed down my cheek, over my chin and clasped around my throat. Not tight, not threatening - grounding. “What are you saying?”

I didn’t know, hell, those kinds of words were so foreign to me, yet they flowed from my mouth without a second thought. There was something there between us that was big and huge and mighty, something just beginning, and I wanted a chance. A chance at something good.

“I wanna fuck you like there’s no tomorrow. But this...” I lifted my hand and curled my fingers around his wrist at my neck, “...this is more.”

Ayden shoved me hard, tossed me on my back and crawled over me. There was no time to think when he flattened his big body over the length of mine, grinding his hips so I could feel the lust in him. My breath hitched when he leaned forward and nipped at the sensitive skin on my neck, the place that fired me up, shot hot sparks through me.

As much as I desired what he was offering - I didn’t. I wanted free and clear of my chains before I tasted what I knew I’d crave forever more. To take it now would ruin me, I wasn’t worthy of it, not yet. But I so wanted to be.

Grabbing his hair, I yanked his head back and stared into those spellbinding eyes of his. “Will you still be around? Could I be someone you’d wait for?” I had no business asking it of him but fuck if I wasn’t a greedy son of a bitch.

With a swipe of his tongue across my lips, he smiled at me. “Oh, yeah. Believe it.”

* * *

I didn’t sleep much. Ayden had rolled from me and indicated we should get some shut eye, and while he drifted off into slumber, I tossed and turned and stared at the ceiling, eventually getting up to turn off the light. I needed the dark; to sleep, to think. I saw things better in the shadows, like the answers played in slow motion and were easier to grasp.

Having no belief in failure, I knew I could do this. But there would be a colossal fallout. Where that fell and upon who was the worry. Once upon a time I’d never cared about myself, wasn’t concerned about the consequences of my actions, I’d let the chips fall where they did.

This was different and maybe Ayden was right. Sophie being away meant I’d worry less, didn’t have to be so paranoid as to who was watching her and keeping tabs on me. Charlie had his runners and his thugs, I straddled the line, useful as both, used as both, at Charlie’s discretion. His regular muscle wasn’t to be messed with and wouldn’t think twice to turn on me at his say so. Throw in drugs and the situation got messier still. Charlie was part of a chain, and while he was the man at the top in Brighton, like me - he still had a boss. He still answered to someone bigger; the suppliers. That was where my problem lay. Charlie would be easy in comparison.

I eventually fell over into a sleep that was blessedly dream free but woke feeling restricted and pinned down. I had to take a moment to remember where I was as the cusp of panic edged in at being restrained.

Face down on the plush feather pillow, I felt suffocated. Ayden was laying on top of my back, his whole body covering my own, his thick cock rubbing back and forth across my ball sack. He must have sensed I’d woken, a soft moan rolled over me as he twined our fingers together above my head.

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up, sleepy head.” Gruff, his voice was gruff as it rumbled through my back.

My morning wood was trapped underneath me, digging into the mattress and painfully sore. Every time Ayden moved an inch, I moved with him, the friction from the sheets edging up my arousal. Fuck, I would definitely come if we kept at it. His rubs and thrusts were forceful enough to have me thinking twice about not getting a taste.

He trailed his fingers down my spine and I felt the heat wander blissfully across the skin of my back as he stroked the solitary tattoo that almost meant as much as all the others put together. The ink ran from the nape of my neck down to the top of my tailbone, the tip disappearing into the top of the crack of my arse. The hilt of the Celtic sword spanning my shoulders.

Ayden’s palm left my back momentarily then a finger slipped down the crease of my backside, following the end of the blade. The closer he got to my pleasure spot, the more I shuddered. I bit my lip to stop from crying out when the pressure against my hole intensified. He teased, and he played, never stopping the rocking of his cock against my balls as I squirmed beneath him, my dick begging for more, threatening to spew hot liquid anytime soon. He must have sucked his finger, I was too mindless to notice, but I did when the slick digit poked again, and he pushed in with ease.

His tempo increased, the movement over my back quickened, his fingers tightened around mine. “God...” I groaned, unable to help myself. “Ayden...”

A sweep over my prostate had me jolting but Ayden only pinned me down harder. “Shh...I got you, I promise.”

He shifted back, pulling his finger free, his weight still across my shoulders and now he rubbed his delicious erection against my arse. I could feel the tremble in his legs as he moved to split my cheeks and rubbed over my hole, punching forward in a teasing manner every now and again.

“Up on your knees.”

I did as he said, I was eager for his hand around my aching dick and that’s exactly what he gave me when there was space enough underneath and he’d let go of my other hand. Shifting again, Ayden furrowed between my legs as he leaned over, his harsh breaths hitting my ears. Slick pre-come made the glide of his hand easier, the sensations better but when he clenched his fist firmly around me, tears sprang to my eyes and I gritted my teeth, coming undone. His finger plunged back inside, and I succumbed to the overwhelming mixture of pleasure and pain as I shot my load in front of me, cum squirting thick and fast.

My breath vanished as Ayden let go and forced me back down to the bed, face first into the pillow. “Oh fuck...” I’d lost all wits, floated in ecstasy and when I felt the head of his cock breach me I half gasped in surprise.

“Gonna come, Shaun. Lemme have a little taste...” he slurred as if drunk.

He had just pushed the tip in. I’d never had a cock in my arse and the overwhelming need to have his right now over-rode all my common sense. While fingers pinched on my skin, I mumbled a desperate plea even I didn’t understand and braced myself. With a languid push, Ayden seated himself inside me in one go. I could hear the squelch between us and presumed he’d used cum as lube, he’d slid right home and with me already riding high, the discomfort wasn’t unwelcome.

Ayden didn’t move. I felt the tell-tale signs of an impending orgasm shivering through him then the flood of warmth inside me as Ayden let go. Clenching my arse cheeks, I wriggled beneath him begging for him to fuck me, but he was quick to pull out, all the way out.

“Don’t stop!” I yelled, urging him to come back inside me.

Drops of heat fell against my back, dribbled down my crack as Ayden came over me. Grunts against my shoulder blade made me smile even through the disappointment that he was painting my skin and not inside me. I turned my head to get a look at him.

“Best almost fuck ever,” I commented as I watched him squeeze out the last of his seed, his thick fingers wringing his cock.

He snorted among his breath catching, eyes twinkling when he managed to give me a smile that looked more like a grimace. “I was too close.” Oh, I knew he was, I didn’t care either way. “Next time, you get the full treatment.”

“Next time?” I asked hopefully.

“Fuck yeah. You don’t think I’m gonna be able to just dip my dick into you once and be done, Shaun?”

“I think you might break me,” I chuckled, laying my head down on my crossed arms.

“In a perfect kind of way,” he winked.

Yeah, the fucker was going to break me all right. I could see the train wreck coming a mile off. Did I care? Did I hell. I wanted a piece of that pie and if I had to meet that collision head on and wrestle it, then nothing was going to stand in my way.

I’d earn it. By fuck, I was going to earn it.

Ayden was gonna be just as far under me as I was him, and I’d relish every damned minute. No matter the consequences, this man would be mine. He’d stripped me bare and I liked being naked for him.