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Every word he spoke was the truth. Yet that truth presented me with a Shaun I didn’t know and made it more difficult to hear. I didn’t want to admit I didn’t like the person he was telling me about. I thought it would be an impossibility but there I was feeling exactly that. I wasn’t naïve enough to not think what happened with Chrissie had been a set-up, someone out to take away the things he coveted. Much like the other night with Sophie. People were out to hurt Shaun, not caring for the consequences, and it was a cruel fucking joke, that much had been clear the minute I’d opened those texts.

I had to push those thoughts to the side for now; despite the conversation, it was damned good to see him. I had missed Shaun. Even while I was struggling with my anger, I’d desperately wanted to feel him next to me. Holding off had been hell, but I wasn’t wanting my head addled with medication while we had this inevitable conversation. I’d waited, which turned out to be the right choice.

His confession hurt me deeply, especially when he got to the part about his cock being in Chrissie’s mouth prior to that Wednesday night. He hadn’t needed to tell me, I would never have known, probably never found out about his apparent moment of weakness, and whilst I appreciated his honesty, I kind of hated I was now aware. It made me question whether I could trust him not to do it again, with anyone. I totally got the situation he found himself in, but I wondered how much more trouble she would be for him. For us.

More confused than ever, I floundered at which direction to go in. The only thing I was certain of - I needed this man with me. Walking away had almost killed me, I refused to do it again. We could swim these waters together if we were a buoy for the other.

Rubbing at my temples, trying to keep myself calm and stress free just like the doctor had suggested, I bit my lip. For the most part I relaxed, but my mind was going in circles and not much of it was making sense, a headache brewing.

“You okay?” Shaun asked, watching me carefully.

“Yeah,” I sighed and laid my head back on the pillow, holding my palm out to him on the side of the bed. Grabbing my fingers, he raised them to his mouth, kissing gently.

“I know I got to fix this, and I will, but first I need you to get better, so we can bring you home. Let’s concentrate on that for now, huh?” With the desperate pleading in his voice, it sounded like the best idea I’d heard in a long time. I conceded and tried to put Chrissie to the back of my head for now. I wanted to savour Shaun for the time being.

Letting go of my hand, Shaun stood up, stripping off his jumper and toeing off his trainers before climbing up onto the bed beside me. His warmth seeped through my side and apart from being at home, there was no other place I’d rather be.

“Budge over.” He nudged me gently and I did as he said. We both lay squashed together, side by side, on the impossibly small hospital bed, both lost to ourselves. He blew out a breath. “That was just about the worst night of my life. I can’t go through that again.” He curled onto his side and placed his arm around my waist, snuggling into my neck, his warm lips brushing against my skin.

“What was the worst?” I whispered into his hair. He didn’t hesitate when he told me it was the day he found his brother shot dead in their flat. I felt his body tensing, so I drew him closer still, trying to offer some comfort while he recounted the story of how his brother’s girlfriend had been messing around with someone who’d had more clout than he did and took offence when she said she loved Scotty. Shaun had found his brother’s battered body in the hall, a single gunshot to his head and a picture of the girlfriend on his chest. He admitted his life had spiralled downwards from there.

“I can’t lose you, Ayden. I wouldn’t survive.” His voice was strangled, so full of emotion I felt it deep in my soul. I got the sentiment, I really did. His arm across my waist moved and when I looked down I saw him kissing his tattooed knuckles.

Running my hand through his hair, I lay in silence with him, simply soaking up the feel of his body close to mine. Just being. I think I must have drifted off because the next thing I was hearing my dad’s hushed words.

“You make it right, Shaun?” My dad’s no-nonsense voice asked.

“Yes, sir. I hope so.”

Neither said anything else; I heard the scrape of chair legs and presumed he’d sat down next to the bed. He’d been a permanent fixture for the last few days. Shaun hadn’t moved so I decided it was time to open my eyes. Attempting to stretch, I winced because that shit hurt like a bitch still, I tried not to shift too much.

My back was still painful but thankfully there’d been no infection. I was told they’d given me IV antibiotics quick because it was a stab wound and had the potential to become infected. It was the last thing I needed on top of everything else, especially if I wanted home in the next few days. Which I really, really did. I wanted back in my own bed with Shaun wrapped around me, to shut out the world for a while.

When Shaun realised I was awake, he drew away from me and sat up at my hip, so I could see my dad. Ryder was also in the room and I knew why they were there. I didn’t want to do this, to tell Shaun, but it was time. We had agreed, Sophie telling me the man’s name, saying she couldn’t tell her brother herself. Our statements had been made, recounting what happened but names had been deliberately omitted, and Sophie citing she couldn’t remember very much. We gave vague descriptions, but that was all. We wanted our revenge, and as shitty as it sounded, the police wouldn’t give us it the way we wanted. It was down to us to make sure he paid for Jake. And he would.

If that made us bad people - so be it.

My father and uncle had promised us that it would be sorted and no one else would suffer at that monster’s hands. Namely Sophie. Ryder vowed they’d do all they could to keep it away from Shaun, while seeking the justice he had coming. He would undoubtedly fly off the handle, but I had faith my dad was in his corner and wouldn’t let anything touch him.

Ryder smiled wanely at me. “You ready, Ayden?”

Shaun looked at the three of us in turn, confused. I nodded in response to my uncle, my mouth insanely dry as I second guessed the decision to tell him. It was what Sophie wanted. Once I’d told her the details of my story and in turn she told me hers it somehow solidified her decision. All three of us were the victim of one man’s sordid crimes. He wasn’t getting away with murder, we owed it to Jake.

I was certain the confession would break an already fragile Shaun, and I wondered how little I could get away with telling him, how much to reveal to him.

“What’s going on?” he asked, a worried tone to him.

I looked down at my hands and drew a deep breath before speaking. “We know who it was....”

His head whipped around as he ground out, “Who?”

“Your friend, Shorty.”