––––––––

Every time I closed my eyes I was greeted with visions of blood; lots and lots of blood. And the silence, it was deafening. But I couldn’t wallow in my own misfortune and self-pity because Sophie needed me. I swallowed down the gruesome images and tucked them away, hoping they’d wait until dark when I was alone, so they could drag me down.

“I need to see Sophie.” I said to my Dad, who was sitting by my side reading his daily paper.

He looked up surprised. “Not Shaun?” I shook my head no. I remembered everything, there were no gaps and as much as I didn’t want to take heed, I couldn’t ignore the fissure of anger that was buried somewhere deep down. I’d deal with Shaun later, first came Sophie.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do; I’m not sure how mobile she is.”

I closed my eyes, needing the relief of sleep. In slumber I could maybe believe this was not my reality. Pain caught my breath and scooped me away until I tumbled head first into blackness.

A day later Sophie was wheeled into my room, the relief at seeing her, all consuming. She looked tired, but the same emotions were reflected in her face as mine when she looked at me.

My dad pulled her wheelchair closer, as close as he could get it then lowered my bed, so we were the same height. He could read me so well; knew I’d need to touch her. I reached my hand out to hers and she grasped hold, tightening her grip. As if she was afraid to let go. We looked at each other for so long, I didn’t even notice that my father had left the room. I did however see the tears spilling down Sophie’s cheek.

“Hey, Sophie, it’s okay.” It wasn’t really, but what else was there to say? I hadn’t thought past simply seeing her with my own eyes.

She bit at her bottom lip before talking. “I didn’t know if you were okay.” She sobbed loudly, her other hand coming up to cover her mouth.

I took a moment to look her over, really look at her. The sigh that escaped me as I stopped at her still small stomach didn’t go unnoticed. A shaky grin flitted across her face for just a millisecond, but I caught it.

“She’s fine, absolutely fine.”

Remarkably her face was free from the hellish green and purple bruises that marred her neck. I remembered again how she looked lying on the floor that night and I knew those marks didn’t just stop at her neck. Where she bled, I bled. I felt every morsel of pain that she endured, and it tightened at my already scarred heart, pinching it hard.

“The police want a statement, Ayden. I don’t know what to do.” She looked down at our clasped hands. Knowing this would have to be the focus of our discussion, it surprised me that she was so quick to bring it up. “Shaun can handle it, or they can. We need to decide.”

We were both silent for a while, contemplating the outcome of either decision. Neither was encouraging. I knew what Shaun handling it meant all too well, it was so risky but as mad as I was at him, the thought of losing him to a jail cell didn’t appeal in the slightest.

“What do you want to do?” I asked eventually. After all, the decision would ultimately be hers.

“To give my statement, same as you.” She stopped for a second, looking up to the ceiling. “We both know who it was.” I nodded, she was right, we did. “I can’t not tell him, and when I do, you know what the consequences are just as much as I do. This wasn’t his first time, Ayden.” She gave me a pointed look and I understood what she was saying straight away. She didn’t need to spell it out for me.

“Sophie,” I said softly, “come here.”

She let go of my hand and gingerly climbed onto the bed as I inched over as far as I could to make room for her. I wrapped an arm around her as she cuddled into the crook of my shoulder, kissing the top of her head as she settled.

“Then we need to tell them, okay?”

She sniffled into me and I felt her head shaking in agreement. Oddly enough, I was okay with that, because she was right. He’d destroyed both of our lives enough already. He’d taken from both of us and now it was time to take from him.