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Ayden’s head was running a million miles an hour and as much as I wanted to not think about it, I understood all too well what was at stake and doing this here and now could well save us. It was not for sweeping under the carpet or keeping for another day. Now or never, or there was no coming back from it.

I thought I’d sensed a softness in him a moment ago, could normally read him well enough, but he was giving nothing away. He hadn’t made a sound when he was punishing me with his cock down my throat. Ayden was vocal, yet he’d refused to give me his pleasure. So, I took it. I fucking took it, hoping it would make him feel better. A part of me loved the control he commanded; I’d let him have it. He’d surprised me, I wasn’t expecting what he dished out but hell if I was gonna refuse, no fucking way. Maybe it was something we both needed?

Now, I could only answer his questions and tell him the truth, hoping he could find some way to live with what I’d done and still want me in his life. I had never regretted anything as much as I regretted Stella fucking Rinaldi, even before I had known she was Ayden’s mother.

True that, six degrees of separation. Take notes folk cos I sure as hell was. If I could wipe that bit of history from my slate it would be gone yesterday, it only had the power to destroy my tomorrow. Our tomorrow.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine how he was feeling but was more than aware how I was. I had to fix this but wasn’t sure how. All I knew was that I wanted to be with him and him not being in my life was not an option. I was sure of it the first moment I’d laid eyes on him and truly looked. He made me feel like I could rule the world, like my life was worth living and had some purpose past my sister. I loved her, but it got lonely and I was ashamed to say she wasn’t enough. I’m sure she felt that way too. Whatever Ayden needed from me he would get, because I wasn’t ready to let him walk out of my life without one hell of a fight. There was something between us, something that could be truly beautiful given half the chance and I wasn’t stupid enough to ignore it. He was sorely mistaken if he thought I was gonna slink back off into the dark, I was in for the long haul and I intended on sticking around.

“I need to talk to my dad.” He bucked his hips indicating he wanted me to get off him. I didn’t move, instead pinned him down harder, reaching for his hands to stretch them above his head. My dick that had been softening decided to wake up again and I ground my hips into him roughly.

“Can we just stay here a moment?” I asked, hoping he conceded. He was calm enough, but I still sensed that spark of anger he’d buried and I wanted it gone before we left this bed. Before he punched me in the face again.

He sighed loudly, closing his eyes. “What do you want, Shaun?”

“You.” I leaned down and whispered into his ear, “Just you, only you, always you.”

His body shuddered beneath mine and I watched as goose bumps travelled up the undersides of his arms. I smiled into his neck and relished the way he moulded into me. His fingers clasped mine tighter, a small victory.

“What if I can’t do this?”

“What if you can?” I turned it back on him.

“I don’t know how to feel. About you,” he whispered. I kissed his neck gently and nibbled at his ear lobe, contemplating my words.

“We have something here. Something I’m not willing to walk from. I don’t think you want to either. Yes, it’s scary and confusing as fuck but I wanna see where this goes, see where it takes us. This isn’t nothing.”

Letting go of his hands, I raised myself above him on my elbows, so I could look at him properly. He took my breath away every single time. His chocolate brown eyes bored into me, searching for my truth. It was there, and I hoped he could see it. Running my hand down his ribs and across to his hip, I held on to him as I dropped my head again.

“I’m fucking falling for you, Ayden...and I don’t want to stop.”

Right there was my honesty. I could love this man with all my heart and not feel sorry for doing so. I hadn’t meant to say it, but I couldn’t stop myself. He needed to know how far in I was with him and he needed to admit it too. I could tell he felt the same, and I wasn’t going to let myself think he didn’t.

Ayden said nothing back and my heart cracked a little, but it was okay, there was time yet, if only he’d let it be. He didn’t move his hands from above his head, just continued searching for something. I wondered what he was looking for. How he saw me...

There was a soft knock on the door and it opened inward slowly, a throat cleared, and I suspected it was Ayden’s dad. Untangling myself from Ayden’s body, I flopped down onto my back beside him, my hand over my boner, pulling the tangled sheet up to cover us both. How fucking embarrassing, I chuckled to myself. I should have kept my clothes on when I climbed up the bed. I was in someone else’s house after all.

“You boys okay?” Lucca asked. I looked up to see him standing at the foot of the bed. He reached out and took a hold of Ayden’s foot underneath the covers, “Ayden?”

“Yeah, dad. Fine.” Moving his arm across his eyes again, I heard the terse emotion in his voice and a pang of hurt hit me square in the chest. Desperate to touch him, comfort him, I held back, it wasn’t what he needed from me right then. Instead. I knocked my knee against his under the covers.

“I should go.” I sat up, the sheet pooling in my lap. Feeling Ayden’s warm palm rub across the bottom of my back, I sucked in a breath at his tender touch. It stilled me, caught me off guard...warmed me.

“Stay.” His voice was low and gravelly and reached down into my stomach.

Hope whispered.

Lucca moved around the bed, his head tilting down to the floor as his nose scrunched, taking in the towel covered puke no doubt. He said nothing, just sat next to Ayden, running his fingers through his son’s hair. This man loved his boy unconditionally, there was no doubt about it.

“You need to sort some things out. When you’re ready, call me, okay?” I hesitated, I didn’t want to go but it was the right thing to do, as much as I’d rather remain tucked up in bed with him. He had to sift through his feelings without the distraction of me.

“Please stay.”

Moving into a sitting position at the side of the bed, I fixed my feet on the floor, my back to Ayden and Lucca, trying to figure out how to get up and keep my dignity at the same time. Ayden’s hand ran up and down my back in a soothing motion, as if to assure me that we weren’t quite over yet. I gathered my confidence and turned around, leaning down to kiss him gently before taking the plunge and standing up. What was modesty anyway?

“I’m not looking.” Lucca laughed right along with Ayden.

I grinned at them both, cupping my junk and asking Lucca for my clothes that were lying discarded at the side of the bed by his feet. He threw them over to me then casually tipped his head. “I’ll be seeing you again, I think we have a lot to discuss, don’t you?”

He wasn’t wrong there. I hurried to dress and when I was done I gave a small smile to Ayden as I made my way across the room, leaving behind the man I had fallen in love with, one I so hoped I could have a future with.

“Shaun,” Lucca called behind me, “the coffee is warm, you’ll find Laura in the kitchen.”