Chapter 2

We walked down the street, wading through the crowds of workers fleeing their offices. It was the same every Friday evening, I met up with my best friend Jenny and always tried to drag Sam out to join us.

Sam held the glass door open for me, and I stepped into the dimly lit bar, already loud with chatter. Later the work crowd would thin out and the music would get turned up. If we lasted until then, we danced — usually making fools of ourselves but not caring. Or at least Jenny and I didn’t care. I suspected this was the real reason Sam always ducked out early.

Tonight, after most people had left, including Sam, a cute blond guy came up to our table.

“Hi, I’m Duncan,” he said, extending his hand to me.

I looked at his hand, but didn’t offer mine. “I’m Abbie,” I muttered.

Undeterred, Duncan sat on the bench beside me. I gave Jenny a look, as if to say what the fuck, but she gave me a wide-eyed stare and gestured to talk to the guy. He didn’t seem to notice my appeal to her. Or at least he didn’t let on if he did.

“Do you come here often?” he asked. How original.

“Sometimes,” I responded then turned to Jenny. “So, Jenny, Matt is taking me to Cape Cod for our anniversary. I can’t wait! Seven years. Hard to believe, isn’t it?”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Hard to believe all right.”

But it worked, Duncan stood and left giving a little wave as he went.

“You’re an idiot,” Jenny said as soon as he turned away.

“I’m not interested in another relationship.”

“I know, you’re still in the all-men-are-assholes phase. You have to get through that.”

“I don’t want to.”

“But you have to. Enough time has passed, Abbie, you have to move on with your life.”

“There’s no way I’ll ever trust a man again. I promise you that much.”

“You didn’t have to have a long-term relationship with that blond. Just a good, casual fuck.”

“Ha!” I laughed, “I could do with one of those.”

“So then go after him, have a one-night stand. Wake up in the morning feeling better. Orgasms have amazing therapeutic powers.”

“I’m far too scared for that.”

“Just do it.”

“No way. What if he has a little pecker? Or is really selfish in bed? Then I haven’t gotten anywhere.”

“You’re just nervous,” she teased, blowing air through her straw at me.

“So what if I am?”

“You’re going to miss out on a lot of life with that attitude.”

I pouted my bottom lip out at her. She was probably right. Then again, what did she know? She’d never had a boyfriend for longer than a year, and it was not unusual to see her go through a string of men. Heh, maybe she does have this figured out right.

* * *

I lay in bed that evening, unable to sleep. With frustration calling out from between my legs, I once again decided to chase the orgasm that eluded me that morning. I picked the vibrator up from the floor and gave it a wipe. On reflection, I ran to the kitchen and raided the junk drawer for some new batteries. Maybe that was the problem, fresh batteries would mean faster vibes.

There in the kitchen, I pressed my hand through the side of my panties and cupped my vulva before slipping two fingers inside. Wet but not wet enough.

I moved the fingers back out and searched for my clit. I rolled it between my fingers and remembered the feeling of being embraced, of hands stroking up and down my back the way Matt used to move his when he fucked me from behind. Once wet enough, I turned on the vibe and guided it into position with my left hand, making sure the little ears were resting on my engorged clit.

With my eyes closed, I concentrated on the feelings of pleasure radiating out from between my legs. I tried to zone out the buzzing noise. I even tried to imagine Ryan Reynolds naked and hard. But nothing pushed me over that edge. Frustrated, I kept going, trying to free myself of negative thoughts. I dragged a hand up my body and tried sucking my thumb, imagining Ryan Reynolds kissing me. Still nothing. I tried to stop thinking that I would never have another orgasm as long as I lived. I tried to stop thinking what I was doing was ridiculous and pathetic, and tried to concentrate on the vibrations going on down there.

I was on the verge of giving up when the coffee shop man’s smiling face popped into my head. His deep brown eyes sparkled at me, and he smiled. Oh God, that smile was unreal. His shirt fell open, exposing his muscles underneath. He drew me into him, tilted my chin and kissed me. My body tensed, then melted and pulsing pleasure waves overtook my body.

I slid down the kitchen cupboards and sat on the floor. Why had that guy jumped into my mind? And why was he enough to push me into such delight? Was I that desperate for the attention of a man? The way he had so much confidence in speaking to me was definitely sexy. And he was cute. Okay, not cute, he was exceedingly hot. The hottest man who has ever spoken to me. Perhaps I was stupid to be cold to him. Perhaps Jenny was right, I needed a good fuck. But how would I ever get coffee-shop man into a one-night stand? Would I ever even see him again?