Chapter 23

I headed to the only place I knew I could hide for a few hours while giving myself time to mull the problem over.

“Hi, back again already?”

“Yes, I can’t stay away.”

“What would you like?”

“Um, same as yesterday?”

“Let me check.” The spa receptionist tapped away at her computer. She smiled at me and rushed from the room. She returned with another woman, and the two messed around on the computer. My pulse was racing the entire time, half expecting Jay to appear in the doorway.

“I don’t need the hair, mani and pedi today. Only the massage, body wrap and facial.”

“Okay, that helps. We can start the wrap now, if you’d like to come with me.”

A few minutes later I was on my back, smeared in honey and hemp and wrapped in what seemed like tin foil and Saran wrap.

“I’ll be back in twenty minutes,” the beautician said.

In the peaceful quiet of the room, I considered my next step.

* * *

“Hi,” I said, entering the suite. I ran over to Jay at the dining table and kissed his cheek. Butterflies filled my insides but I did my best to seem calm and natural on the outside.

“Hey, where have you been hiding all day?”

“Oh, I’d made another spa appointment yesterday and hadn’t realized the time earlier. I had to rush off to make it in time. I should have…”

“Stop babbling.”

I pursed my lips. I always babbled when I was nervous.

Jay pulled me into his lap and twisted my body so I was facing his laptop.

“I’m not keeping secrets from you. Have a look.” He fanned his hand across the keyboard. I jittered on his lap, mortified.

“Go ahead, look at whatever you want.” His voice was becoming more tense.

I put my finger on the touch pad and clicked around. I wasn’t familiar with his computer, so I clicked on the browser and Excel. Jay gently pushed my hand out of the way.

“Let me show you.” He clicked into Outlook and opened an email.

You need to pay, James, or else this is coming out and the entire world will know.

“You need to go to the police.”

“No.” I flinched at the force in his voice. “I told you, I can’t. They’ve set it up to implicate me in the embezzlement.”

“But you must. The longer you wait the worse you’ll look. And they’re going to keep doing this forever, they’ll always want more money.”

He slammed the computer shut. “You think I don’t realize that?”

“The only way to stop them is to go to the police and put them in jail.” I wanted Calvin to go to jail so bad.

“Abbie, that’s not going to happen.” He pushed me off his lap and stood to leave the room.

“Don’t walk away. We can figure this out together. As a team.” I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “As a married partnership.”

“There’s nothing you can do to help. It’s something I have to deal with.”

“But why?” I followed him around the room with my eyes. “I know Calvin better than you. I know what pushes his buttons.” Jay patted my back.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle this.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and broke free of my embrace.

“You told me this morning that you didn’t care about the money. What’s it about then?” My cheeks burned with adrenaline. I’d found the courage to ask.

Jay stood motionless in front of me, his nostrils flaring. I had to put my hand on the wall to steady myself as I waited for his response. I kept trying to reach his eyes, to make eye contact, but his eyes were fixed on the floor.

“What is it, Jay? Are you hiding something from me?” My voice broke, and I struggled to keep my free hand at my side.

“I’m not.”

“Not what? Keeping secrets? How stupid do you think I am?” My heart pounded in earnest now, my voice raised. I hadn’t meant to verbally attack him. Not the day after our wedding.

“Beautiful,” Jay stepped to me and grabbed me into his arms, “I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you. You have to remember that.”

“So you are hiding something.” My voice was quiet, almost lost in his chest.

He didn’t reply, his silence implicating his guilt.

“Jay,” I said, my voice meek, “did you illegally move that money offshore?”

“What? No. Of course not. Why would I care about moving such a small amount of money? If I’d done it I would’ve have moved a lot more than they did.”

It was true, even though it was a huge amount of money, from his point of view it wasn’t enough worth bothering with. So what was it then? How did I get it out of him? And what did I do about my marriage?

Even though I was furious at him, I let him hold me and comfort me.

Why did he have to keep something from me? If he’d just be honest with me, our marriage would be perfect. Our life would be perfect.

“Beautiful, you have to understand, I’m not lying to you. I would never lie to you.” He stroked my hair, holding my head close to him.

“But you’re not telling me something.”

“I can’t.”

“We can’t have secrets in a marriage, Jay. It doesn’t work like that.” I pushed my hands on him, trying to free myself of his embrace, but he held on and I couldn’t get away.

“Beautiful, you have to understand how much I love you.”

“You keep saying that, but you’re not showing it. If you loved me so much, you wouldn’t keep secrets.” Both our hearts were pounding against each other.

“You know, you’re right.” He hesitated. “But I’m scared you’ll hate me for it.”

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing that matters, nothing that impacts our relationship. I want to forget about it and go on loving you.” His voice had lost all confidence and wavered with his words.

My mind raced with possibilities. Was he running his company illegally? Was he divorced with kids? What could it be? And no matter what else he told me, how would I know whether to believe him?