Chapter 36

Grace

“I still can’t believe you came to New York to see me but I’m really glad you did,” I say to Anna and flop my arm down on the hotel bed beside me.

I’m physically and emotionally drained. I have no tears left.

Anna sits on the bed beside me, her back resting against the padded headboard. She’s pointing the remote at the muted TV, mindlessly staring at a cooking demonstration.

Thank God she was in New York otherwise I don’t know where I would’ve gone when I left Leo’s.

I’ve been lying on her hotel bed all day. We’ve barely even said anything. I didn’t need to. I cried my eyes out until I finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

But she stayed with me all day. She’s even made me eat and drink and massaged my tense shoulders. I can’t imagine a better best friend.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much, I’m actually here for an important work meeting,” she says, not taking her eyes of the screen.

“Is that why your hair is a natural color for once?”

“You really think he got you pregnant on purpose?” she says without looking at me.

“I do,” I say flatly. Until now we’ve avoided any deep conversation or questions. I guess she figures I’ve calmed down enough to talk.

“But you saw him put on a condom?”

“I think so,” I say, my voice wavering.

Anna must sense a new wave of tears and drops the questions.

“So, anyway, Shawna filed for personal bankruptcy. Turns out she put every penny of her own money into the company and lost everything. No wonder she was desperate enough to send you to the hotel lobby dressed the way you were.”

“I don’t even care. I hope she suffers for what she did.”

“Well, until today it was a good thing she sent you there.”

“Yeah, and now we know how it was the worst thing ever. I feel so stupid.” My throat tightens, and I resolve not to cry any more.

Hell, a week ago I thought I’d never see Leo again and I’d come to terms with that. I just have to find that same mentality again.

Except it’s a million times harder this time because we had such a magical week, even with my mother’s unexpected death. I really thought we’d be together forever.

“What work are you doing here?” I ask, desperate to get my mind off Leo.

“Well, I was supposed to have a job interview but there’s probably no point.”

“Why?”

“Lots of reasons. I don’t think New York City is somewhere I really want to live. Plus, I have to convince Tyson to come with me, and a bunch of other stuff.”

“He still hasn’t proposed?”

“No,” she mutters and gets off the bed and stretches.

I take the hint and steer us to another topic. “My sister’s been amazing. I think I’m going to move to Tennessee.”

“How is she doing?”

“Good. I think her kids will be much better off without my mother there. Especially her son. No one needs to hear that their entire gender is useless every day of their life.”

“She says that about women?”

“No, men! She always told Charity’s son that. The poor guy, he’s such a nice kid.”

“That’s pretty messed up.”

“I’ll say. Now you know why I moved away and never wanted to go back.”

I can’t help thinking back fondly of my time in Tennessee with Charity and her kids. Moving back there is so logical that I barely have to consider it. And I’m actually looking forward to it. Maybe I’ll go tomorrow. Most likely by bus since it’s all I can afford.

“Do you want a drink? Water? Coke?” Anna opens the minibar and stares at its contents.

“I wish I could have a stiff drink,” I say.

“Me too.”

“Don’t miss out on my account. There’s nothing stopping you from drinking.”

“Actually, there is.”

“Not feeling well?”

She slams the door empty-handed and stands wringing her hands at the end of the bed.

“Actually,” she says timidly, “I’m pregnant.”

“What? No way,” I say and spring off the bed. I move to her side and hug her, but she only half returns my hug.

“It’s early still. So, no one knows.”

“What does Tyson think?”

“He’s confused since we always used condoms.”

“I know that feeling,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“I need to tell you something, something I will never tell anyone else and that you can never repeat. But I have to get it off my chest.” Anna grips my upper arms and looks at me in the most serious manner.

“Of course.”

“I feel bad. When I did it I obviously hadn’t thought things all the way through. All I really wanted was for Tyson to propose.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I poked holes in all the condoms so I’d get pregnant and Tyson would have to marry me.” She buries her head against my shoulder, but my mind is racing too fast to console her.

“What do you mean you poked holes in the condoms?”

“I mean I took a safety pin and poked holes in them. That’s the way I got pregnant.”

“Oh my God. Are you fucking serious? The condom Leo and I used was from your bedroom.” I push her away, struggling to swallow the bile at back of my throat.

Leo was telling the truth and I didn’t believe him. I treated him like shit. In all likelihood, I’ve ruined everything.

“It’s my fault you’re pregnant, not Leo’s.” Anna lays her hand on my shoulder, but I ignore her and rush to my purse. Picking it up off the floor, I reach inside and find my phone.

I try to turn it back on, but the faint red bar shows in the middle of the screen. My battery’s dead. Unbelievable. I noticed the battery was low when I was in the taxi, but when I got here I broke down in tears and forgot to plug it in.

Without saying goodbye, I leave the hotel room. I don’t even tell Anna how she’s done a horrible thing to Tyson and that I hope he never marries her. The only thing on my mind is getting to Leo as fast as possible.

Why didn’t I trust him? That’s going to be hard to explain. After everything he did for me after my mother died and at the zoo yesterday, I knew in my heart that I should be trusting him. But I still didn’t.

What’s the matter with me?

Tears well in my eyes, for totally different reason this time. Leo has never done anything other than treat me in the most amazing way possible, and I thanked him by calling him a liar and leaving.

The elevator is the slowest elevator in the world. I tap my foot impatiently, waiting for it to descend an entire twelve floors. I sigh in relief as the doors finally open.

I’m at the back of the building, and rush to the front as fast as I can. There’s a gift shop at the front of the hotel and the display catches my eye, stopping me in my tracks.

I hesitate for a moment before deciding it’s something worth stopping for.