Chapter 20

Grace

“Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse,” I say, choking back tears.

“It’ll be fine,” Anna says, draping her arm around my shoulders and squeezing.

We’re sitting on our sofa in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. Shawna let everyone go home from work early.

Right after she told us all that the company is out of money. Right after she told everyone it’s all because I failed in my mission.

We wouldn’t be in this position if Grace had been able to convince Leo Newbury to license us his brands last month. Shawna’s words ring over and over in my ears.

Everyone glared at me, blaming me for their loss of income. My cheeks burned red with shame. The shame of a failed prostitute.

If only they knew how much worse my situation is than theirs.

Shawna wants us all to carry on working in exchange for company shares. But company shares don’t put food in my mouth today.

“How can you say it will be fine? I have no paying job, and I’m pregnant.” I burst into tears as I say the word pregnant.

I still can’t believe it.

I’ve had sex exactly once in my life, and I’m pregnant.

“Shh,” Anna rubs my back, and I rest my head on her shoulder.

“I knew I shouldn’t have sex. Why? Why did I do it? I stayed a virgin so long so this wouldn’t happen. All I cared about was making something of myself, but here I am, just like my mother and sister. Pregnant, jobless and no sign of a man. I might as well pack my bags and move home right now,” I say through blubbering tears.

“Honey, you don’t have to give up. You know who the father is, he will have to pay child support. And I’ve got to think child support from a billionaire is a generous amount of money to live on.”

My tears turn into wails. I haven’t heard from Leo in three weeks. In his last text message, he said he was in Kathmandu. I didn’t even know that was a real place.

Or if he’s really there.

Maybe it’s just something he said to blow me off and I was nothing but a prostitute to him after all.

I very, very stupidly texted him as soon as I took the pregnancy test to tell him I’m pregnant. Anna told me not to, but I did anyway.

And maybe ten more times as well.

My texts got very accusatory, saying I’m nothing to him but an escort, even though I’m going to be the mother to his child. That he doesn’t care about me or the baby.

I possibly told him I hated him.

And I think I do.

The weekend in New York was the best weekend of my life. I experienced feelings that weekend I didn’t even know existed. Like I’d found my soulmate. I walked around on a cloud for a week.

Leo told me he’d be back for me in a week. But after a week, every day that passed without hearing from him brought me closer and closer back to reality.

After a late period, I took the pregnancy test. And cried. And cried.

Thank God for Anna. She’s hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder several times a day. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

“I’m just going to move home to Tennessee and live with my mom and sister. I don’t know why I thought I could escape my fate. All I did was delay it by a few years. So I’m pregnant at twenty-three instead of fifteen. All I did was run from my destiny for eight years, but it caught me in the end.”

Anna grabs my shoulders and pulls my body in front of her. Her eyes stare at me, and she says, “It is not the same as them. You know who the father is. Does your mother know who the fathers of her children are? No. Does your sister? No. So that’s a big difference right there.”

“It doesn’t matter if you know the father is if he won’t even acknowledge your existence.”

“He’s going to have to when you file a paternity suit.”

“With what money? I don’t have a paying job, remember?”

Anna sighs, and flops back into the couch.

“I don’t know if it’s worth working for shares, or not,” she says.

“How much money is there? I mean, how is Shawna going to pay rent? Or any costs? If I were you, I’d stay while you find another job, just so there isn’t a gap on your resume.”

“And you? What are you going to do?” Anna asks.

“Sleep in every day. What’s the point of me even getting out of bed in the morning?”

“You’re going to be a mommy, that’s something to get out of bed for.”

I start crying all over again. It’s amazing I have any tears left. Snot bubbles down my lip, and I grab a Kleenex and blow my nose. It’s the last in the box.

“I’m going to make you a cup of chamomile tea.”

Anna stands and walks to our kitchen. I pick up my phone and check for any messages from Leo. Something I’ve done a zillion times a day for the few weeks. Nothing. Of course.

In my heart, I know I’ll never hear from him again. That I was merely an escort after all.

You used me and ruined my life. I hate you.

I hit send and toss the phone onto the coffee table. I hate myself just as much, for getting into the situation in the first place.

I don’t even understand how it happened since we used a condom.

Whatever.

I wish I were still a virgin.

“Here you go,” Anna says, setting the mug of tea in front of me.

“Thank you,” I say, managing to smile. “I don’t know where I’d be without you these past few weeks. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh honey, don’t be silly. You are my best friend, of course I’m going to do everything I can to help you. You can live here as long as you want, and don’t even worry about rent.”

“You won’t say that when there’s a screaming baby at three in the morning.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m dying to have a baby. I’m jealous of you.”

“Yeah, but you have a serious boyfriend who would marry you,” I say, shrugging.

“In my dreams. Tyson doesn’t seem interested in getting married, no matter how many hints I drop.”

“Well, I’m sure he’d marry you if you were pregnant.”

“Exactly. For sure he would, that’s why I’m so jealous of you. A baby might be the only way to get him to propose.”

“I don’t even care about marriage. All I want is for Leo to respond to my texts. I grew up without knowing my father. I don’t want that for my baby.”

“Like I said, he’ll have to acknowledge the baby when you file a paternity suit. Don’t worry about money, lawyers will be lining up to get a piece of a billionaire.”

“I just don’t know why it has to be that way. Why is he treating me like this? He tricked me into thinking he really cared about me and that I was special to him,” my voice descends into an incomprehensible, sobbing mess. Now I know those were all lies to take my virginity.

But I can’t change the past. Now I have to figure out what to do with my future.

A future that most definitely does not include Leo.