Chapter 31

I walked into the lobby and up to the front desk. There was a lump in my throat and I swallowed to try to calm my voice before speaking to the clerk.

“Hi, um, there’s a key here I’m supposed to get, um, I mean, you have it for me and I need it.”

“Your name?” the man asked.

“Abbie.” He looked at me and smiled. “White,” I added. “I’m Abbie White.”

He typed something on the computer, nodded and passed me a key card. “Here you go, Ms. White. Room three-eighteen, third floor. The elevators are to the left.”

“Thanks,” I said, snatching the card before he could notice my trembling hand.

When I reached the door, I inhaled sharply and tapped my card to the sensor. I stepped into the room, lit only by the dim light of a desk lamp. The door closed behind me.

With my hand on the doorknob I allowed my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Jay walked to me, the light at his back casting an eerie glow around his frame.

“Abbie, are you okay?” He took my free hand and pulled me from the door and into his arms.

My heart pounded in my throat, preventing me from speaking. I nodded my head. He hugged me tighter, and I felt at home, back where I belonged. I took a few deep breaths, trying to rationalize with myself. Bargain with myself over the issues. If he could explain Calvin, then I would allow myself to sink into his embrace. And only if. But I’d already sunken into his embrace.

I kicked myself. I couldn’t forget the reason I was here or allow myself to forget all the strangeness of the past week – the no contact, the note, the bar. Jenny’s voice echoed through my head, ‘be careful,’ ‘don’t be gullible.’ I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

“What’s going on, Jay?” I tried my best to sound strong.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Calvin came into the bar and yelled at me, saying I’m a whore who slept her way to a promotion, and that my boyfriend isn’t offering enough money.”

“Is that it?”

“He said you’d better pay up.”

“But that’s all he said?”

“Yeah, isn’t that enough? He was screaming right in my face, banging his fist on our table.”

“You’re fine now. Safe. I would never let anything happen to you.”

I looked up at him, my eyes wide. “But how does he even know who you are?”

Jay tucked my hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “He doesn’t.”

“But…”

Jay swallowed the rest of my words into his mouth with a kiss. Though everything in my head was screaming not to, I kissed him back. His hand pressed between my shoulder blades, pushing my worries out of me. Forcing them up through my body and out of my throat. Except I turned my head away, determined not to lose myself in him.

“I need to know what is going on. Something isn’t right. This isn’t normal.”

Jay sighed and loosened his grip on me. “It’s difficult to explain, and it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“It does matter. It matters to me,” I said, my jaw taut.

He moved to allow some distance between us and held the tops of my arms, positioning us face to face. In the back lighting I found it difficult to read his facial expression but I was facing the lamp, and the light shining on my face allowed him to see mine. I felt on display, bared for him to know everything about me but I couldn’t see deep into him.

“I didn’t expect this to happen. Calvin saw me with you on our hike — that’s how he knows we’re together.”

“But how does he know who you are?”

He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know.”

“And why did he accuse me of sleeping my way to the top?”

Jay took a sharp inhale of breath, sucking the air from between us. I waited for an explanation, my heart pounding. Nothing about this made any sense. I had to be strong and not let him dismiss my concerns.

“Well?” I demanded.

He drew me back into him, and his heart thumped against my ear. “It’s all okay. Everything is fine.”

“How does Calvin know who you are, Jay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Who are you, Jay?” My voice was breaking with a mix of anger and tears.

He kissed the tear that had escaped my eyes, kissed down my cheek to my mouth. I tried to resist, tried not to kiss him back, but his mouth forced my lips apart and his tongue forced its way into my mouth. It took all my willpower, but I did little to return his kiss.

Jay tightened his hold on me and lifted me from the ground. First he only lifted my feet off the floor. I tried to make myself heavy, to ground myself to the earth, but he scooped me up and carried me to the bed, laying me on it.

“Don’t do this, Jay,” I rolled off the bed and stood beside him once more. “Why aren’t you answering my questions?”

“What questions?”

“What questions? Seriously? My old boss just sought me out and verbally assaulted me in a bar, saying I needed to tell my boyfriend to cough up more money. And you don’t think I deserve an answer for that?” The words rushed from my mouth.

“I think the answer is your ex-boss is insane. You know that already. How am I supposed to have the answer to why he said the things that he did?” The calmness of his voice helped to slow my heart rate. It made sense. But I still had Jenny’s voice in my head.

“Fine. But what about all the other questions I don’t know the answers to? You know everything about me and I barely know anything about you.”

He sat on the bed and patted the space beside him. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

I thought for a second. “Where do you live?”

“I told you I live in the burbs. Not all that far from where we went for a hike.”

“Do you have a dog?”

He laughed. “No.”

“Why do you have so much money when you don’t have a job?” I was almost afraid to ask because I was so scared of what the answer might be.

“I don’t have much money. You’ve seen my car.”

I searched his eyes. “Jay, I know how much the lingerie cost.”

He leaned away from me and looked to the window. I kept quiet. This was the biggest question of all and I had to have an answer.

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to hate me,” he said, his voice quiet.

“Why would I hate you?”

He turned back and our eyes met. The sorrow in his eyes melted my heart and I kissed his cheek. He wrapped his arms around me and held me.

“For lying,” he said.

Lying. That word again. No man could be trusted. My insides caved in, crushing my heart and lungs in the process. I gasped, trying to take in air. The dam burst and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Jay moved closer and wrapped his arms around me. I tried to resist, to move away. In my mind I was already running down the hallway. But he held onto me and I had no chance of overpowering his strength.