“No… It can’t be Monday already,” I moan, reaching over to my bedside table to turn off the infernal beeping. I rub my eyes. Everything from the night before starts to come back to me, making me smile. All my memories from last night filter back into my mind as it wakes up, figuring out where I am and what I need to be doing.
Fin will be ready for breakfast in an hour or so, but I’m still in bed. I need to get up because I can’t serve breakfast with no makeup on. I sit up in bed and look down at my phone, still holding it after I shut off the alarm. I have two messages from Fin. I look at the time stamp on them. They were sent well after midnight.
I rub my eyes again as I stare at the screen in complete disbelief. He sent links to estate agent websites. I click on one and the internet browser instantly opens. It’s a B&B for sale not fair from Central Pier. I blink at the screen a few times. Not because the building is fantastic or even what I’m looking for, but because Fin sent it to me. When I look at the other link, I feel a little emotional. This is the most I’ve ever done to follow my own dream. It feels weird and empowering at the same time.
Before I lose my nerve, I quickly email the agents and ask for viewings. I feel like I’m floating! I just made the first step in getting my own B&B up and running.
* * *
I turn on the radio and tie my bright pink apron around my waist. Some songs from the sixties instantly fill the kitchen, making me laugh. Every Monday, I completely forget that Jill and Alistair had control of my kitchen for two days and play their music.
I see the sun starting to rise as I look through the window behind the kitchen sink. It looks like it’s going to be a lovely day in Blackpool for once. Even in summer, sunshine is very rare here.
Having this job means I am free to do whatever I want after 2:00pm. That is one of the best parts, along with looking after people on their holiday.
I hear movement in the lounge. I know the only guests we have until this afternoon are the guys. I take the apron off, knowing the sausages on the stove will be fine to cook for a minute. I see the guys walking to their regular seats. Fin hasn’t seen me yet, so I walk up and stop right in front of him, waiting. He finally looks at me as the rest of the guys take their seats, watching us. Fin’s smile drops, almost like he's scared of what I’m about to say.
“Thank you,” I say simply, sliding my arms around his waist.
Once he’s over the shock, he wraps his arms around me. “You’re welcome,” he whispers and kisses my head.
I realise Jill could pop up at any moment, so I let go and smile up at him. The other three guys watch us in silence…and maybe confusion. I know I shouldn’t have just hugged him like that in the lounge, but I can’t let what he did for me go completely unnoticed.
He shrugs. “I wasn’t sure if I was crossing a line.”
“Maybe you did, but maybe it’s just what I needed.”
I look at the other guys. Cole won’t look at me. Brad is smiling, which I know is due to the date he had with Bee last night. Jay seems like his usual happy-go-lucky self as he stares at the tablecloth, not smiling, not talking. I can’t help but wonder what, if anything, Fin told them about last night.
“Full English then, guys?” I ask.
They all nod. Cole hasn’t looked up at me the whole time I’ve been standing here. Fin takes his seat opposite Brad as I walk back into the kitchen.
* * *
“Here goes nothing.”
I stand outside the door to room three, but I can’t seem to make myself open it. The only two rooms to be cleaned this morning are rooms three and four, the guys’ rooms. So here I am, staring at the brass number 3 on the door, knowing Fin could be staying in this very room.
I know all the guys are out, they left not long after breakfast, but I’m still having trouble opening the door. I take a deep breath and, using my master key, let myself in.
My heartbeat pounds in my ears as I step over the threshold. I have been in here so many times, but today, I notice everything about it, like I am seeing it for the first time. How bright the checked orange bedspread seems. How soft the cream-colored carpet looks. How fresh the white wicker chair in the corner makes it all seem. I think I am trying to convince myself it’s still the same room, which it is, but it also might be his room. I slowly creep in another step.
I have the same routine for every room I clean. Grab the sheets off the bed, adding them to the growing pile at the base of the stairs. Then start vacuuming and emptying the bins before toping up all the amenities, like shower gel, coffee supplies, towels. But, for some reason, I can’t seem to move toward the bed. I look around the room again, taking notice of the guys’ things. I’m looking for any sign this is Fin’s room.
There’s a glass of water on one nightstand next to the bed across from the door. I wonder if it’s his, if his lips have touched that glass. God, I am pathetic. I don’t even recognise myself right now.
I take a deep breath as I slowly look around the room. There’s a faint smell that could possibly be his aftershave. That warm, homey, spiced…
Shit!
A shiver runs through me as I stare at the familiar worn leather jacket hanging on the back of the desk chair. My heart starts hammering in my chest.
My eyes wander to the little bathroom and the shower. I bite my bottom lip and hold it between my teeth as my mind starts to think about Fin in the shower...all naked and soapy.
I blink and shake my head. I need to stop that right now!
The last thing I need is to let my mind picture Fin naked, but it isn’t the first time that thought has crossed my mind.
I’m being ridiculous. If I want to get out into that glorious sun any time soon, I’m going to need to hurry up and stop thinking about him.
I walk over to the bed and take the pillow in my hand. I am so tempted to sniff it. To—
“Well, well, well… Alexis Duke…”
I spin around to see Fin leaning against the wall next to the open door. He must have a stealth mode setting I don’t know about because he's constantly able to sneak up on me!
He smirks. “The very morning after we agree to no sex, I catch you in my bedroom. And by my bed, no less.” He pushes himself off the wall. I have no idea how long he’s been standing there, but I know one thing for sure. I am so glad I didn’t sniff the pillow!
I still haven’t said a word as I watch him. Those arms are so defined and muscular, which the faded grey, baggy Ramones vest top is doing a great job of showing off, and those black jeans just add to his sexy outfit. I am turning into his groupie, aren’t I? He looks every bit the drummer as he slowly walks to where I am standing next to his bed.
“How long have you been standing there?” I finally say.
He gives me his usual sideways grin, walking closer. “Long enough to see you figure out it’s my room.”
Shit, of course he was.
I can’t let him distract me. I have so much to get done.
“Why are you here?” I ask as I start to take the pillowcase off, but I’m distracted. It feels weird doing this with him in the room. However, I need to be professional.
“I came looking for you.”
I hate how butterflies seem to take flight in my stomach when he admits that.
“Why? I have work to do.”
“I know you do. I thought I could help, maybe get you out of here quicker. We went to the beach, but I wanted you with me.” He smiles, taking the pillow from me and pulling the case off it. His eyes don’t leave mine for a single second, and I am a complete mess under his stare.
“Fin... You don’t have to,” I say, softening my voice.
I make a quick lunge toward the next pillow he’s picked up and try to grab it before he can take the case off that one, too. He’s not taking my entire job from me today. Unfortunately, I’m too slow and he moves the pillow out of my reach.
“I want to.” He smirks.
My god! Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!
“Thank you,” I say softly.
He shrugs, like it’s nothing, but that’s not what I meant. He turns, about to walk around the bed when I grab his hand. He looks at my hand on his, then up at me.
“No. For the links you sent me. It means a lot.”
He smiles. “Good. I’m glad I could help. Did you contact the estate agents?” He starts pulling apart Brad’s bed.
“I did.”
He raises his eyebrows at me as we both keep working. “Really?” he seems shocked.
“Yeah. I emailed them. Now I guess I just wait for a reply.”
“You’re on your way, Alex.” He smirks at me as I start to strip his duvet off. With a smile on my face, I come to terms with the fact we will be working together this morning. He then bundles the sheets in his huge arms and takes them out into the hall. I can’t help but smile. This is turning out to be a strange, albeit fantastic day.
* * *
You would not believe how many times I have asked Fin if the guys are okay with me coming to crash their little beach party. He keeps assuring me it’s fine. I look up at him as we stop at a traffic light.
As if sensing my stare, he looks down at me. “What?” he asks, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.
“Your hair. It has a gorgeous red tinge in the sun.” I reach out to touch a piece of it. He closes his eyes as I play with his hair.
“Thanks…I think.” He opens his eyes and watches me as I pull my hand away. There’s something about him that just makes me want to be near him.
“It’s gorgeous.” I didn’t mean to use that word, but he smiles. All I can do is blush.
“Come on.” He tugs me across the road.
Four figures come into focus as we walk along the beach. I don’t know why I’m surprised to see Bee sitting on the sand next to Brad. Cole, sitting on Brad’s other side, rolls his eyes as soon as he sees me. I have no idea why.
“Jay, fancy a kick about?” Cole asks, picking up a football and moving away from us before we’ve even had chance to say hello.
I look down at Bee, casting a shadow over her. The first thing she notices is my hand in Fin's. She smirks, then realises why I’m staring at her. It’s Monday afternoon and she has a very normal job where she has to work until five.
“Oh! Yeah, I’m ill,” she says with an exaggerated cough.
I shake my head and giggle. I can’t be mad at her for skipping work. My eyes shift to Brad, who’s grinning uncontrollably.
“Hello, Brad.”
He looks at me, still grinning. “Hey, Alex. Glad you could make it.”
Fin pulls me toward a couple towels just to the left, set back from everyone else’s. I can’t help but find that sweet. He set this up before he came to find me.
Fin sits down on one towel, patting the one next to him. I sit and take my sandals off, then push my feet into the warm sand. I take a deep breath and smile slightly at the scene around me. There is a pile of bags in front of me, and all the towels seem to crcle around them. Music plays through a little black speaker on one of the bags. I don’t recognise the song, but it could be one of theirs. I wouldn’t know. I watch as Jay and Cole kick a ball, trying to get shots past one another.
“Fin, Cole’s acting really weird toward me today. Did I do something?” I ask. Our towels are set back from the others so it’s a little more private, keeping the others just out of earshot, which he probably planned. My knees are bent up in front of me, so I rest my cheek on them and look at him.
He shakes his head. “Sorry about that.”
I frown, confused. “Why are you sorry? Did you do something?”
“Sort of.” He stretches his legs out, then leans back on his arms. I find myself watching every curve, every muscle. “Ever heard the saying ‘Don’t shit on your doorstep’?”
I frown and shake my head. “Not really.”
“Well, that’s what Cole accused me of doing. He thinks me dating you will affect the band because you run the B&B where we’re staying.”
I want to say something, anything, but I can’t. He just said we’re dating. Is that what you call it when you know it’s only for one week with no sex?
Fin continues. “He thinks I’m going to hurt you and you’ll kick us out.”
I burst out laughing. Not about him hurting me, I already know he’s going to do that when he leaves, but that Cole is using that as an excuse.
“But it would be different if I agreed to see him instead?” I ask.
Fin grins. “That’s exactly what I said.” His eyes meet mine. I think we’re having what’s known as a moment. His smile fades and his face turns serious. I want to kiss him.
Suddenly, something blocks the sun. I look up to see Brad standing there.
“Just taking the lady to get ice cream. Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks,” I reply. Fin shakes his head. Bee waves as she's whisked off by this week’s boyfriend. I envy her carefree spirit.
“So, have you cut a deal with Brad to get him to tell you my name yet?” Fin asks. I turn to look at him again. I put my legs out in front of me and lean back on my arms, just
like he is.
“No, and I’m not going to.”
“Giving up?” he asks, a twinkle in his eye, thinking he’s won.
“No. I just think it would mean more coming from you.”
His smile drops. We sit silently for a moment, listening to the music blasting through the speakers. I sit up and cross my legs, studying my pale arms.
“Think I could get a tan out here?” I ask.
He sits up, mirroring my position. “If you stay out here long enough.”
I look at him, my eyes falling on his arms. He has a lovely, healthy tan. I move my arm next to his to see just how much darker he is than I am.
“Wow, you actually get sun in Cowley?” I ask, taking his hand in mine. I rest the back of it on my knee and start to run my finger up his forearm. The whole time, I watch his face, his reaction. He bites his lip as my finger traces up his forearm. God, I want to kiss that bottom lip he's holding in his teeth. I know he can feel the electricity because I can sense it running throughout my skin. I look at my fingers tracing his arm, turning it in my hand.
Oh, my god. How have I not noticed this before?
Fin has words tattooed on the inside of his forearm. I have spent so long studying his arms, how did I miss this? I start tracing the script. I tilt my head so I can read it.
“‘Just because it’s out there to be found doesn’t mean it’s worth finding,’” I read out loud. The words make me feel sad, but I’m not sure why. I want to know what they mean.
“Lyrics from one of our songs,” he answers my unspoken question. I look up from his arm to his face. He’s still watching my fingers tracing his skin, then he looks into my eyes.
“Who writes the lyrics?”
He shrugs. “I guess I do.”
My heart starts to rattle around in my chest. “What do these mean?” I run my finger along the black letters on his forearm.
He looks away. “It’s from a song I wrote years ago. It was a pretty shitty time in my life.” He looks at me again. I know he wants to pull his arm back to stop me from asking questions, but he likes my touch too much.
I nod, running my finger up and down his arm. “Do you regret the tattoo?”
He shakes his head. “Not the tattoo, just what it represents.” I know he just put his guard up because I can feel the atmosphere change. He doesn’t want to talk about this with me.
“How many songs have you written?” I ask, a little more light-hearted.
“All of them.” He gives me a soft smile. I now need to hear every single song by The Dukes to find out more about him. I’m sure the emotions behind the lyrics would tell me more about Fin than he is willing to.
“When’s your next gig?” I ask, eager to know when I can hear them again. I wasn’t paying enough attention Friday night. I hate myself for that fact right now.
“Wednesday night. Think you can make it?” The hope in his eyes is hard to miss.
I smile. “I’ll definitely be there.”
I lift his hand to my lips and kiss it before letting it go. He plants his hand in the sand in between us, bringing his face closer to mine, staring at my lips. I'm glad we’re sitting down if he's going to kiss me again. At least I won’t have to worry about my legs giving out.
“Where’s Brad?”
His eyes don’t leave my face as Cole looms over us. I’m pretty sure Fin’s still contemplating kissing me, even with him standing there. I see anger flash through his eyes as he turns to look up at Cole.
“Ice cream.”
Cole is now shirtless, which I can’t help but think is for my benefit. He has a tattoo, too, but it’s just some random symbol on his chest.
His eyes dart between Fin and me. “Okay. Want to join us?”
Fin looks at me, then back at Cole. “Um… No, thanks. I’m good.” Fin wraps his arms around his knees. Shrugging, Cole walks back to Jay. I feel bad that I’m keeping him from his friends.
“Sorry about that,” Fin apologises, trying not to laugh.
“If you must take your top off to play football, by all means, don’t let me stop you.” I smirk at him.
His eyes sparkle. “If you want to see me take off my top, you only have to ask, Alex.”
Oh...my...god!
I try hard not to groan. The thought of him taking his top off just because I asked makes my body temperature rise off the charts.
“Emergency stop, Finnley,” I say, shaking my head and fanning myself with my hand.
He laughs. “What?”
“Rule two… Every time one of us thinks we’re heading toward breaking rule number two, we need to—”
“Emergency stop.” He finishes my sentence with a knowing nod. I nod back
* * *
“No, no, no!” Fin suddenly appears in front of me, a smile on his face. I smirk and step to my right, walking around him along the beach. “Please, don’t go.”
He grabs hold of my hand and turns me to face him. His hands slide to my waist and he grips me tightly. I bite my lip as I look into his eyes. He is trying to keep a straight face, but his lips keep turning up at the corners. I can’t help the smile spreading across my own face.
Bee is already up on the street level, waiting, while I am stuck on the beach, trying to make a swift exit…and not a very successful one. I look up at her for some support, but she just leans over the wall, laughing at me.
“Fin, stop. You need to spend time with your friends,” I whine.
He shakes his head. “I live with them. How much more time do we need to spend together?” He smirks, making me laugh.
“Fin…”
“Alex…”
I sigh. “They already hate me.”
He frowns. “No, they don’t. Cole just has a stick up his ass, but that’s Cole. He’s always so high-strung. That’s why we made him the manager of the band.”
He lets go of my waist and grabs both my hands in his, a pleading look in his eyes. I can’t see a way out of this. I glance behind him at the guys sitting on the beach.
“Please!” He squeezes my hands.
I look up at Bee as I try to pull my hands free, but he grips them tighter.
“Tell her she should stay with me, Bee,” he calls up to her playfully.
I look at her. She seems lost for words as she shakes her head and shrugs, then giggles.
“See? Even Bee thinks you should stay with me.” His playful smile fades.
Stupid, stupid, Alex!
I know at least one way I can get out of this situation. I tug one of my hands free from his, slide it around the back of his neck into his hair, and pull his lips to mine.
Shit!
I originally started kissing him to make it easier to get away, but feeling that familiar buzz, I am totally kissing him for me. It’s the only thing I’ve wanted to do all day. It feels so good, I almost forget my agenda... Almost. He lets go of my other hand to touch my cheek. I take the opportunity to try and make a break for it.
He quickly catches my hand and pulls me back to him, my body colliding into his. “Nice try.”
I look into his golden eyes. He’s so close, I can feel his breath on my face. I lick my lips as I stare at him helplessly. All thoughts of leaving have now completely vanished as he holds me to him. He slowly leans in, touching his lips back to mine. His hand cups my cheek, holding my face in place, as his tongue slowly enters my mouth. I grip onto his back as I melt into his body. I feel an erratic heartbeat, but I don’t know if it’s mine or his. Fin slowly pulls away.
“I didn’t call for an emergency stop,” I whisper.
He closes his eyes. “No, I did,” he breathes out, resting his forehead on mine. “Come for a drink with me later.”
“If I agree, will you let me go?” I ask, not moving.
“I won’t let you go until you agree.”
I nod. “Then I guess…I guess I’ll see you later.”
Just like that, his arms fall to his sides and he lets me walk away.